A young female reporter from a British newspaper was sent to Finland to write an article about Finnish soldiers returning from the Winter War. Interviewing one infantry-man, Jussi, she asked
"When you came home, when the war was over, what was the first thing you did?"
"I screwed my wife," Jussi replied bluntly.
The journalist went red, and tried to change the subject.
"After that, I mean. What did you do after that?"
"I screwed her again," he answered.
The journalist turned an even darker shade of red.
"Other than that! Uh - what did you do when you were finished with all that?"
"I took off my skis and had a beer."

it's like a clown tried to fuck a tanning bed

♫ Marge becomes a robot ♫
♫ Moe could get a cell phone ♫
♫ Some kind of crazy wedding ♫

I know a lot of people in my classes who should be named this

And of course we know about Chernobyl, that's where those evil Ruskie sumbitches fucked up. What are you, French? And 9 Mile Island was an honest mistake

:lol

i heard from a reliable internet source that chernobyl was actually caused by an alien crash landing or mishaped alien technology and that the guberments have been trying to keep it covered up for years

just as long as the Reds were in on it

what the hell is a chernobyl

SLIMY STARFUCKERS AN THER GODDAMN COMMIE NUCULAR POWERED AIR CASTLES

if they know that you know you'll be in trouble :eek

I GOT A FUKIN TWELVE GAUGE WITH THEIR NAMES ON IT AH TELL YOU WHAT

I've been popping caps in Russian ass all morning.

If you've ever been enlightened by Invasion USA, you know that at no time does Chuck Norris go fight in Washington D.C.

Fuck Chuck Norris, Hickman to the rescue

I had radiation therapy for spinal cord cancer when I was 3- basically everything in my head neck and chest was in the line of fire.

spinal cord cancer at the age of 3?

Seriously, holy shit

Are you like She Hulk now?

Spinal cord cancer at the age of zero, I was born with it. They just didn't realize that was what was wrong with me till it had grown for 3 years and I was already paralyzed.

Mom was exposed to a carcinogen while pregnant with me. She's on cancer #5 herself.

And no, I don't have any superpowers other than spectacular tooth sensitivity. Mom says I used to be able to make televisions and radios go staticky when I walked past them.

I'll bet all the superpowers are latent.

How severe was it at worst? If you were born with it did it have any metastases by the time you were diagnosed with it?

I also must note that, while damaged, my teeth are not a funny light green color. They're fairly white. You just have to peel me off the ceiling if the wrong thing touches them.

I got a substitute dental hygienist. While nice, she did give me a tooth health report card. It was traffic-light themed. I got a green light for gum health. After I left I remembered I left it in the chair :/

Why does everyone else get all the cool diseases :(

When I was first born I guess they knew something was amiss, and they thought it was MS. So they tested me for MS and I came out clean for that, so they sent me home.

Then my mom gave birth to premature twins and they died (which is exactly what would happen to me 30 years later), and around that time I started dragging one leg. Mom took me to the doctor, who said I was just trying to get attention back on myself after my brother and sister's death and that Mom should put me in daycare and go to work. Repeat x2 years.

Finally, I just went paralyzed one day. Mom freaked out and took me to the ER at an actual decent hospital, they did a myelogram and...oops, it was spinal cord cancer all along.