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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Fathom Zero Jun 27th, 2006 12:08 AM

Screw the girls, bro.

Anyways, go here and get a free trial to Planetside for 9 months:

http://planetside.station.sony.com/reserves/download.vm

Seven Force Jun 27th, 2006 12:14 AM

I got a random message from someone I don't know.

Here's the kicker: I just switched to a new name, and I haven't used it anywhere. Either they got lucky picking a random name out of a hat or someone's giving away my screename.

...or it's one of you people.

Fathom Zero Jun 27th, 2006 12:18 AM

Creepy as hell, dude.

Fathom Zero Jun 27th, 2006 12:46 AM

Hehe... I can't use Planetside, because it requires a 4 Gig download.
I will have it, though.

Jeff The Ninja Jun 27th, 2006 01:41 AM

I just sent an article to Esuohlim.com. What are the chances of it actually being accepted.

Esuohlim Jun 27th, 2006 01:54 AM

I'll give you guys a hint on this one! The word count was 270. :eek

Seven Force Jun 27th, 2006 02:03 AM

That's not really much.

Jeff The Ninja Jun 27th, 2006 02:05 AM

Ok, So I will make it longer. Dont worry, I have a ton of ideas. It should be finished by tomorrow if I work at it. I can easily bring it up to 1000 plus words :)

executioneer Jun 27th, 2006 02:30 AM

god dammit i hate when the weather jumps 25 degrees in three days :(

Esuohlim Jun 27th, 2006 02:38 AM

It was supposed to be sunny all week but then the weatherman was like "Whoops actually it's going to thunderstorm nonstop until through the following Tuesday haha that's eight days fuckers, enjoy". so now I'm all P.O.ed >:

executioneer Jun 27th, 2006 03:59 AM

it was 92 here, and a week ago it didn't even break 70 :(

sadie Jun 27th, 2006 07:40 AM

lol. i don't have a lot of ideas. but i can add 700 words. easy!

Emu Jun 27th, 2006 09:21 AM

milhouse i could write something!

Fathom Zero Jun 27th, 2006 09:40 AM

That Man could also write something.

Esuohlim Jun 27th, 2006 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emu
milhouse i could write something!

ok!

Emu Jun 27th, 2006 11:36 AM

do you mind if i write about small claims court TV shows like Judge Judy and Judge Mathis cuz i've been all obsessed with those lately!

Juttin Jun 27th, 2006 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by darnin
Does that mean I'm officially hated now?

:Sociallyretarded

Esuohlim Jun 27th, 2006 12:34 PM

Emu that sounds like a grand idea, pal!

Fathom Zero Jun 27th, 2006 12:49 PM

I haven't changed my "Zits" calander since February 2nd.

Esuohlim Jun 27th, 2006 01:24 PM

I threw away my America: The Book (The Calendar) desk calendar in April.

Fathom Zero Jun 27th, 2006 01:29 PM

Why would you do that?

Esuohlim Jun 27th, 2006 01:53 PM

I haven't touched it since the middle of January. :(

executioneer Jun 27th, 2006 02:30 PM

lol @ out-of-context :lol

Esuohlim Jun 27th, 2006 02:36 PM

:x

Seven Force Jun 27th, 2006 03:16 PM

Now it's time for an intermission with the comedy stylings of Esuohlim and Pub Lover!

Pub Lover: Hello, I am Pub Lover. I was born not far from here and due to a crippling fear of everything I have never been more than five kilometers from my home.

Esuohlim: Good morning, I am Esuohlim, I write articles for a website no one reads and at my leisure I drive my car around town and try to memorize traffic signs.

Pub Lover: Pleased to meet you, Esuohlim. I often take photographs of my favorite vast stretches of dirt. I have over six thousand photographs of the windswept brown field outside of my dwelling, completely barren, and I would love to show them to you one day.

Esuohlim: That would delight me, Pub Lover. I am eager to tell you about the dream I had last night, in which I was forever trying to solve an infinite sliding tile puzzle—

Pub Lover: Enough! I yield!

Esuohlim: Yes, that was among the signs I memorized!

Jeff The Ninja Jun 27th, 2006 04:51 PM

That was enthraling seven force. Good Show.

Now, lets talk about spatulas.

For example, I have a black one. And a Metal one. But I wish I had a Red one.

GADZOOKS Jun 27th, 2006 05:48 PM

go fry yourself

Sethomas Jun 27th, 2006 07:38 PM

Be glad you're not a Muslim Saudi who threw away Saudi Arabia: The Book (The Calander), because it's considered sinful and offensive to them to discard anything with the Saudi flag on it because it contains the opening lines of the Qua'ran!

Pub Lover Jun 27th, 2006 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seven Force
Pub Lover: Hello, I am Pub Lover. I was born not far from here and due to a crippling fear of everything I have never been more than five kilometers from my home.

Kilometre. >:


Americans. :rolleyes

MarioRPG Jun 27th, 2006 08:39 PM

3 huzzahs for the metric system.

Pub Lover Jun 27th, 2006 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
Hahaha go outside and get some sun.

Oh wait it's winter there isn't it :rolleyes

Fuck your advice, asshole. >:

Pub Lover Jun 27th, 2006 09:41 PM

If I did get a tan, I'd be kicked out of my Vampires Alive! group, and they are my only RL friends.

Pub Lover Jun 27th, 2006 09:41 PM

:(

executioneer Jun 27th, 2006 09:43 PM

lol :(

Pub Lover Jun 27th, 2006 09:45 PM

Hey Esuohlim, what about posting a picture of your face? >:

darnin Jun 27th, 2006 10:49 PM

Speaking of spatulas...

They rock. Have you seen RoG's Power Spatula from Hell? The King of Spatulas.

Fathom Zero Jun 27th, 2006 11:22 PM

Who wants to play Volleyball with me?

Esuohlim Jun 28th, 2006 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover
Hey Esuohlim, what about posting a picture of your face? >:

lol no way man

Rongi Jun 28th, 2006 12:55 AM

i had oral surgery today. they gave me anasthesia which made me all loopy and not caring. they had a radio in the operating room playing Proud Mary by CCR and i started singing along while they operated. i think they sang along too

Fathom Zero Jun 28th, 2006 01:41 AM

I'm watching a episode of X Files on Sci-Fi with Burt Reynolds and I have no idea what it's about, yet I must keep watching.

Suffice it to say, I am no longer interested in playing volleyball. Sorry, folks. :(

Rongi Jun 28th, 2006 01:58 AM

milhouse, no offense i like you and everything, but there is absolutely nothing funny or entertaining about your website at all

Esuohlim Jun 28th, 2006 01:33 PM

Every time I see that the last post was by you in this thread I expected you to say that. :(

All I know is that I know about 10 personally that like it and I have about 8 people, only half I know personally, that want to and do contribute to it so I comfortable with my current fan base. Appealing to the masses is only a hopeful aspiration. :(

We're still buds. :(

Rongi Jun 28th, 2006 02:10 PM

looking back, that was probably a needlessly harsh thing to say. i'm sorry buddy :(

i think the tone of the site is what bothers me or something. maybe i could write something for it?

Esuohlim Jun 28th, 2006 02:42 PM

Absolutely, pal :D

Esuohlim Jun 28th, 2006 02:45 PM

I just received an iPod charger I bought for 1 cent on Amazon. Shipping and handling was $5.99 though :/

It's better than buying it for $30 from Apple >:

Seven Force Jun 28th, 2006 03:27 PM

I'm waiting to get my replacement iPod Nano because after a year of dropping it and using it as an anal pleasure device it crapped out on me.

Seven Force Jun 28th, 2006 03:29 PM


Fathom Zero Jun 28th, 2006 03:35 PM

Why'd you have to bring that up again?
Now I'm grossed out.

Moobs Jun 28th, 2006 03:39 PM

Yes
Female
16-17 I guess
:/

MarioRPG Jun 28th, 2006 04:54 PM

I guess they like to keep a wide range of options open.

Esuohlim Jun 28th, 2006 04:56 PM

Fwd: Re: Fresh stuff Enjoy multi-orgasms using this powerful thing

Dear member, If you lie down with dogs you will come up with fleas Life is like a box of
chocolates, sometimes hard, sometimes soft Loving life is living Books and friends should be few There is a time to speak and a time to be silent


Enjoy multiple orgasms with the power of proverbs I guess is the point :x

Pub Lover Jun 28th, 2006 06:17 PM


I'd hit it. :mcdonalds

Pub Lover Jun 28th, 2006 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero
I'm watching a episode of X Files on Sci-Fi with Burt Reynolds and I have no idea what it's about, yet I must keep watching.

I remember that episode. I think Burt Reynolds is meant to be God. :eek

Which is a stone cold fact! >:

Pub Lover Jun 28th, 2006 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rongi
milhouse, no offense i like you and everything, but there is absolutely nothing funny or entertaining about your website at all

I think that most days. :(

Pub Lover Jun 28th, 2006 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover

Uh oh! :banned

Pub Lover Jun 28th, 2006 06:23 PM

I'm not sure if I should edit those posts. :/

Pub Lover Jun 28th, 2006 06:29 PM

Fine they're edited. >:

Pub Lover Jun 28th, 2006 06:30 PM

Red eckses! :eek

Esuohlim Jun 28th, 2006 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover
I think that most days. :(

sigh

Pub Lover Jun 28th, 2006 07:15 PM

Mostly the days that I'm With Stupid, Top Ten Faggot, or my own self are the update.

Pub Lover Jun 28th, 2006 10:41 PM

STU -If you read the papers yesterday, or a week ago if it's now the Friday night repeat, you'll have seen Judge Mr Justice Harman resigned. He's a judge notable for making a few crazy statements in his career. Perhaps the most outrageous was when a woman in his court asked to be addressed as Ms, and he said "I've always thought there are only three types of women in the world; wives, whores and mistresses."

RICH -Ridiculous thing to say. It's awful isn't it? I mean, there are only two types of women; wives and whores.

Pub Lover Jun 28th, 2006 10:41 PM

RICH -NO, I'm joking! In the bad old days, in the seventies, men used to genuinely believe that there were only two types of women, the angel and the whore. I'm glad I live in the nineties with The Spice Girls and girl power. They've shown how ridiculous that idea is. There are actually five types of women.

STU -That's just as biased!

RICH -Five very distinct types, Stu. Not two, like you and Bernard Manning think.

STU -I don't think that! I've said!

Pub Lover Jun 28th, 2006 10:42 PM

RICH -And the Spice Girls each represent one of the five types.

STU -I'd love to see you explain how that works.

RICH -All right, Stu, I will with the aid of these cardboard cut-outs.

The first type of woman, of the five, is represented by Posh Victoria Spice. She's sophisticated, she's a lady. Not the kind of woman you can take to Pizza Hut, no. She's classy. You'd have to take her to Pizza Express.

STU -You can't say that! It's sexist!

RICH -It's not! Only one in five women are like that. Not one in two, like you and Jim Davidson think.

STU -I don't think that! I said!

Pub Lover Jun 28th, 2006 10:42 PM


RICH -The second type of women is represented by Scary Mel B. She represents the kind of woman who is obsessed with sex. Sex! Sex! Sex! That's all she thinks about! She wants it Stu! She's a whore! A jezebel! She's a harlot! She's a bed bucket!

STU -A bed bucket?

RICH -Yes, Stu! She wants it! It's not sexist. Only one in five women are like that, Stu. Not one in two like you and Geoffrey Boycott think.

STU -I don't think that!

Pub Lover Jun 28th, 2006 10:43 PM


RICH -The third type of woman is represented by Ginger Geri. She's the one with the red hair. Though, if you've seen the photos of her on the Internet doing that Kung-Fu kick you'll know she's not a natural red head. She's a leader, Stu. She's powerful, she's manipulative. She manipulates men to do what she wants.

STU -You can't say that.

RICH -She's like Margaret Thatcher, but with a nicer arse.

Pub Lover Jun 28th, 2006 10:44 PM

RICH - The fourth type of woman is represented by Baby Emma. She represents the one in five women who are blond... and nothing else.

STU -You can't say that!

RICH -One in five are like that, not one in two like you and Skeletor think.

STU -I don't think that! [TO AUDIENCE] Don't clap him!

RICH -No, it's true.

Pub Lover Jun 28th, 2006 10:44 PM

RICH -The final type of woman is represented by Sporty Melanie Chisholm.

STU -Chisholm?

RICH -Chisholm, Stu. Jissom.

She represents the final twenty percent of women, which is ugly women... who can jump.

STU -You can't say that!

Pub Lover Jun 28th, 2006 10:44 PM

RICH -She's got an ugly face, Stu, but boy watch her leap. It's incredible! Look, like a Zebedee or something!

STU -Are you saying that nature has given her the jumping ability as some kind of compensation for the ugliness? Is that it?

RICH -I think that's too simplistic an explanation; the nature argument. That's what a lamb would think.

STU -Don't patronise me.

Pub Lover Jun 28th, 2006 10:45 PM

RICH -I think it's nurture. I think Melanie Chisholm--

STU -Chisholm?

RICH -Chisholm, Stu. Chisholm has been nurtured by society to jump, right? I think Melanie Chisholm was born. She looked in the mirror.

STU -What? In the hospital?

RICH -Yeah.

STU -As a baby?

RICH -Yeah. She thought "Oh dear, I'm a bit ugly. Better learn a skill ."

STU -What? Jumping up and down?

Pub Lover Jun 28th, 2006 10:45 PM



RICH -Yeah, men love a jumping woman. You think about it, jumping is the only way an ugly woman can procreate. Imagine the scene, you're sitting in your house, minding your own business, right. Melanie Chisholm--


STU -Chisholm?

RICH -Chisholm, kind of leapt in through your window, did a cartwheel across the floor, did a backflip up onto your lap. Collected your gametes.

STU -Chisholm?

RICH -No, gametes is more polite, Stu. In her ovaries, and be out the window before you've had a chance to look at her. Just as she disappearing down the street you'll go "Hold on, she's a bit ugly!"

Too late, Stu! She's got your gametes! The ugly-woman line will continue! YAAAAY! I can feel them fertilising!

Pub Lover Jun 29th, 2006 12:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doug Funnie on Esuohlim.com

THE OZONE-LAYER IS DEPLETING, JOURNAL! HELP!

I don't know why you Americans care, it's not directly over your country. :rolleyes

Pub Lover Jun 29th, 2006 01:01 AM



I AM ROD HULL!

executioneer Jun 29th, 2006 02:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover
Quote:

Originally Posted by Doug Funnie on Esuohlim.com
THE OZONE-LAYER IS DEPLETING, JOURNAL! HELP!

I don't know why you Americans care, it's not directly over your country. :rolleyes

oh would you cut it out already

Fathom Zero Jun 29th, 2006 07:23 AM



Made it myself, a testament to my artistic skills.
That, and I've been on a bit of a Usual Suspects rush lately.

GADZOOKS Jun 29th, 2006 11:25 AM

It's Kevin Spacey.

MetalMilitia Jun 29th, 2006 02:33 PM

I told one of my friends that, like 3-4 years after the film was released and he got in a piss with me for ages. I would understand if the film had just been released but after so long it really was his fault for not seeing it already.

executioneer Jun 29th, 2006 02:38 PM

ok but is keizer soze really from K-PAX or is he just crazy i don't get it

MarioRPG Jun 29th, 2006 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia
I told one of my friends that, like 3-4 years after the film was released and he got in a piss with me for ages. I would understand if the film had just been released but after so long it really was his fault for not seeing it already.

I haven't seen it. :(

Esuohlim Jun 29th, 2006 05:29 PM

Guys I'm afraid to post in the Zod forum :( :(

GADZOOKS Jun 29th, 2006 09:09 PM

These extra forums are geting stupidly out of hand.

Willie, I need to know do you like cody lambert?

Girl Drink Drunk Jun 29th, 2006 09:54 PM

Some fucking idiots came in 5 minutes before ten (before we stop making food), and ordered chicken wings and nachos (2 trays I think). That cost us a fucking hour >:

executioneer Jun 29th, 2006 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GADZOOKS
Willie, I need to know do you like cody lambert?

who is cody lambert

executioneer Jun 29th, 2006 10:00 PM

this guy?

Pub Lover Jun 29th, 2006 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
As much as I like Topher Grace, he shouldn't be any villain in any movie. Even Pub could beat up Topher Grace.

I think it would be close, but yeah, I'd win. >:



:lol

Fathom Zero Jun 29th, 2006 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sniperwulf
Some fucking idiots came in 5 minutes before ten (before we stop making food), and ordered chicken wings and nachos (2 trays I think). That cost us a fucking hour >:

That sucks, man. I'm sorry.

And Keyser Soze is really played by 5 people:

Bryan Singer, who dropped the cigarette in the first scene.
Kevin Spacey, of course.
Bryan's assistant, who played the young Keyser in all of his scenes.
A stuntman.
And one other guy whose name escapes me at this moment.

You'd know all this if you had the special edition DVD, like I do. :P

GADZOOKS Jun 29th, 2006 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer

Oh well if you dont know him that well then forget about my idea :(

*PSST* it was for your CD :(

executioneer Jun 30th, 2006 01:43 AM

was that who you were talking about though

cause it's been over a decade since i watched step by step

Seven Force Jun 30th, 2006 09:09 AM

MOP AN' GLOW! MOP AN' GLOW!

Chojin Jun 30th, 2006 12:13 PM

to be fair, gadzooks, zod had his own entire message board before on ezboard. rog probably just moved it over here instead and told all the regulars about it.

BUT HE STILL DIDN'T CLEAR IT WITH ME

NOT HAVING INTERNET IS NO EXCUSE



I HAVE A FAX, MAN

Fathom Zero Jun 30th, 2006 01:11 PM

What is the song playing during the scene in Ferris Bueller's Day Off where Ferris is racing home at the end of the movie? I really need to know.

executioneer Jun 30th, 2006 02:21 PM

is it one of these http://www.allthelyrics.com/lyrics/f...ff_soundtrack/

Esuohlim Jun 30th, 2006 02:27 PM

Probably not, since there were no lyrics. Unless they took them out in the movie. :/

Unless there actually is a Ferris Bueller soundtrack that has an instrumental. :(

executioneer Jun 30th, 2006 02:38 PM

www.idiotsavant.com/bueller/soundtrack.htm+ferris+bueller%27s+day+off+soundtra ck&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=2]HONK HONK[/url]

Fathom Zero Jun 30th, 2006 04:17 PM

Yeah, the second to last track, number 15:
March of the Swivelheads.

Sam Jun 30th, 2006 08:44 PM

GUYS!

TERRA IS STILL GONE! :eek

ENJOY IT!

Fathom Zero Jul 1st, 2006 01:18 AM

Animated gifs are no longer animated on my computer, what should I do?

Jixby Phillips Jul 1st, 2006 01:36 AM

GO OUT AND MEET SOME PEOPLE

Fathom Zero Jul 1st, 2006 03:00 AM

http://www.last.fm/user/FathomZero/

Last.fm is my new favourite website.

Moobs Jul 1st, 2006 08:09 AM

I hardly know any of those bands :(

Misdemonar Jul 1st, 2006 08:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero
Animated gifs are no longer animated on my computer, what should I do?

Stop using it.


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