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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

ItalianStereotype Jul 8th, 2011 02:10 AM

why would you ever BUY anything like that? check out bodybuilding.com.

also, do you have any idea what your fitness goals are? it's important to identify what you're wanting to achieve.

Guitar Woman Jul 8th, 2011 02:17 AM

I don't really have like a target weight or anything, but basically I want to look less like this


And more like this



Essentially I want to drop as much flab as possible and get my muscles toned ever so slightly so that I'm a twig with washboard abs.

And I want to destroy the flab on my chin so I can actually try growing a beard without looking like a sperm whale. What is it with fat people who grow beards to define their chins, anyway? You faggots do realize that just makes it look worse, right?

ItalianStereotype Jul 8th, 2011 02:23 AM

Ewww why

Otto Jul 8th, 2011 02:29 AM

That nipple looks like it's trying to escape.

Fathom Zero Jul 8th, 2011 02:29 AM

hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahaahahahah ahahhhahhahahahhahahahhaahahahhahhahahahhahahhahah aahhahhahahhahhahhhhhhahahahahhahhahhaahhahahhahah hahahahahaahhahahhaaahahhahhahhahhahahahaahhahahhh ahhahahahhahhhhhhahhahahhahhahhhahaha

Guitar Woman Jul 8th, 2011 02:30 AM

Because I'll be delicious is why

Really, though, I have no idea. I don't give a shit about women and if I have it my way, nobody will see me naked for the rest of my life. I guess I'm just tired of looking at my flabby ass, and after seeing Chojin go from a 900 pound walrus to having a better body than most professional wrestlers I figured it couldn't be too hard to get my shit in order.

Guitar Woman Jul 8th, 2011 02:31 AM

Also, shut up, Fathom

Esuohlim Jul 8th, 2011 02:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 730700)
I don't really have like a target weight or anything, but basically I want to look less like this...

man come on

Guitar Woman Jul 8th, 2011 02:34 AM

For the record, that first picture isn't me, it's from /fit/'s grid of fatasses vs. meatheads. I think I'm slightly slimmer than that guy; 5'10 and 149 pounds or so.

I would never in a million years take my shirt off in front of you people.

ItalianStereotype Jul 8th, 2011 02:36 AM

Oh? What was that picture you had before?

Fathom Zero Jul 8th, 2011 02:37 AM

6'1'' ~131

If anyone wants some ribs, I can spare some. :unfit

ItalianStereotype Jul 8th, 2011 02:37 AM

Also, Tyler Durden mode works for very few people

Tadao Jul 8th, 2011 02:39 AM

Try heroin

Guitar Woman Jul 8th, 2011 02:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ItalianStereotype (Post 730712)
Oh? What was that picture you had before?



I changed my mind, since he's slightly thinner than what I was trying to get across.

Quote:

Try heroin
I take opiates daily, son. I dropped about 20 pounds because of them last year, and people noticed, but I still hate my doughy chin and midsection.

ItalianStereotype Jul 8th, 2011 02:44 AM

how much do you weigh?

Guitar Woman Jul 8th, 2011 02:47 AM

Quote:

5'10 and 149 pounds or so.
I've been fluctuating between 149 and 155 lately, I guess because of fluid and stuff, but that's about where I am.

ItalianStereotype Jul 8th, 2011 02:53 AM

bluh bluh you need 20 pounds of muscle

why don't you start with SS, build a base with which you can work, and move on from there.

or don't, if you don't like SS. choose a routine that focuses on compound exercises and stay away from gimmicks. also, change your diet. I don't know what you eat, but I'll bet it's shit. clean it up and maintain a calorie surplus. if you don't eat, you don't build.

ItalianStereotype Jul 8th, 2011 02:54 AM

I'm sure Eric yells at you guys for being fat all the time though. I won't do that. I'm like the cool substitute teacher who doesn't care whether or not you lose weight.

Guitar Woman Jul 8th, 2011 03:04 AM

I think my diet is about the only thing I'm doing right. It's mostly fruit, vegetables, oats/granola, and nuts. Red meat and cheese are on my "absolutely do not touch ever" list because of opi constipation, and I eat other animal shit very sparingly.

Also, I did look at Starting Strength, and I know what about 1/6th of this means.
Quote:

Workout A
3x5 Squat
3x5 Bench Press
1x5 Deadlift

Workout B
3x5 Squat
3x5 Press
5x3 Power cleans

Fathom Zero Jul 8th, 2011 03:05 AM

God, all of you piss me off. I'm gonna leave for a couple days and hope the stupid blows over.

Guitar Woman Jul 8th, 2011 03:08 AM

Just wait until I'm strong, I'll kick your ass.

Esuohlim Jul 8th, 2011 03:15 AM

HEY GW I TOO AM 5'10" AND 150 LBS

ACCORDING TO THE BODY MASS INDEX CALCULATOR WE ARE PERFECTLY NORMAL THE WAY WE ARE

THANK YOU CHOJIN FOR ENDORSING BMI AS A FLAWLESS HEALTHY WEIGHT DETERMINING METHOD

Esuohlim Jul 8th, 2011 03:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 730717)

Pictures like these make me want to drop a bomb on everything

LordSappington Jul 8th, 2011 03:32 AM

Hipsters?
I was out on the Drag (Guadalupe street; a lot of hipsters, college students, and hobos frequent there; it's got a lot of indie stores and restaurants. Fun times can be had) with my friend and girlfriend; we were heading to a piercing/tattoo place to look at stuff. I had my arm around my girlfriend, and some college girls, not very great looking, yelled out the window "HEE HEE HEE IS THIS AN EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP OR CAN I GET IN ON THIS?", to which I yelled back something like "OHOHOH you're soooo funny! Go back to your Communications major, bitches". Not too great a story. However, when we were upstairs in the piercing section looking at jewelry, we heard giggling coming up the stairs, and lo and behold there they were. I immediately bellowed out "COME BACK FOR A SECOND ROUND, HUH, SALLY?", and they all went straight back out the door.
I fucking hate college bimbos.

ItalianStereotype Jul 8th, 2011 03:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 730724)
God, all of you piss me off. I'm gonna leave for a couple days and hope the stupid blows over.



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