I-Mockery Forum

I-Mockery Forum (http://i-mockery.com/forum/index.php)
-   General Blabber (http://i-mockery.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=7)
-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Babs Jan 3rd, 2012 01:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 753234)
Babs, I need a contract that says you aren't going to tattle tale on me before I ever talk to you again.

All business. Let's take care of it.

Tacobot Jan 3rd, 2012 03:33 AM

I knew a HJ joke was somewhere in those last ten post.

Esuohlim Jan 3rd, 2012 10:06 PM

I've got a phone interview tomorrow :(

I am not comfortable over the phone at all. AND I'm getting over a cold so I'll sound extra undesirable to their company :eek

Colonel Flagg Jan 3rd, 2012 11:06 PM

At least you're not overconfident.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 3rd, 2012 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 753300)
I've got a phone interview tomorrow :(

I am not comfortable over the phone at all. AND I'm getting over a cold so I'll sound extra undesirable to their company :eek

I'll give you tips, I've worked over the phone for six years now.I'M A REALLY GOOD LISTENER.

Tadao Jan 4th, 2012 01:48 AM

Try tugging on you dick while talking to the interviewer.

Babs Jan 4th, 2012 04:36 AM

Try sucking on the phone AND tugging on your dick while talking to the interviewer.

kahljorn Jan 4th, 2012 05:14 AM

try to sound really hot even though in real life you're fat

Tacobot Jan 4th, 2012 05:16 AM

Just imagine your phone is naked.

Esuohlim Jan 4th, 2012 06:23 PM

UPDATE: MY PHONE INTERVIEWER WAS A LADY ;) ;)

Babs Jan 4th, 2012 07:03 PM

Well..... WHAT DID THE BITCH ASK

Colonel Flagg Jan 4th, 2012 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 753336)
UPDATE: MY PHONE INTERVIEWER WAS A LADY ;) ;)

Did you ask what she was wearing?

Colonel Flagg Jan 4th, 2012 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 753336)
UPDATE: MY PHONE INTERVIEWER WAS A LADY ;) ;)

Did you ask what she was wearing?

Zhukov Jan 5th, 2012 01:10 AM

Once again I forget to go to the end of the thread before replying. FUCK THIS.

Esuohlim Jan 5th, 2012 01:58 AM

That's ok, I'll draw attention away by replying to something from six years ago

Esuohlim Jan 5th, 2012 02:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 420502)
I said "ftw" once as a backwards what the fuck and Chojin quoted it and said "I should ban you right there for that". This was a few months ago, before I even knew there was an actual "ftw" acronym. :(

lol @ milhousw

Esuohlim Jan 5th, 2012 02:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 753338)
Did you ask what she was wearing?

No :( But I can tell you what I was wearing. BOXER SHORTS AND A WHITE UNDERSHIRT :class

MarioRPG Jan 5th, 2012 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 753351)
No :( But I can tell you what I was wearing. BOXER SHORTS AND A WHITE UNDERSHIRT :class

I was in the same situation when I was applying for the census job. :posh

Colonel Flagg Jan 5th, 2012 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 753351)
No :( But I can tell you what I was wearing. BOXER SHORTS AND A WHITE UNDERSHIRT :class

:sexy

Tadao Jan 5th, 2012 03:54 PM

Back in the 80's there was a very mean white pride gang in "The Valley" called FTW. It meant FUCK THE WORLD. They were posers though.

Fathom Zero Jan 5th, 2012 05:00 PM

hay tadoo

Guitar Woman Jan 5th, 2012 05:19 PM

I used to think I hated salad, but then I made a salad out of vegetables that didn't suck fucking dick, i.e. tomatoes and onions and banana peppers and green peppers drizzled with vinegar and salt, and no fucking lettuce because all lettuce is limp, rubbery, horrible bullshit that tastes like dandelion leaves, even fresh lettuce, so don't give me that "oh you just aren't eating good lettuce" fuckspeak because you're WRONG

Why didn't anyone think of this before? Once again I've proved that everyone in the world is a fucking idiot except for me.

Esuohlim Jan 5th, 2012 05:53 PM

Tomatoes, onions, and peppers?! WHAT A CRAZY COMBINATION. THE WORLD JUST ISN'T READY.

Esuohlim Jan 5th, 2012 05:58 PM

I AM INTERESTED IN MORE SIMILAR EXAMPLES OF THINGS YOU THOUGHT OF THAT NO ONE HAS EVER THOUGHT BEFORE

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 5th, 2012 06:01 PM

GW,

Try using spinach instead. It tastes a lot better than lettuce and it lets you do popeye stuff.

Tadao Jan 5th, 2012 06:03 PM

HEY FZ!

Guitar Woman Jan 5th, 2012 07:04 PM

ESUHOLIM: TYPING IN ALL CAPS TO COME ACROSS AS IRONICALLY ENTHUSIASTIC FOR THE PURPOSES OF ACTING LIKE A DOUCHEBAG WAS SOMETHING I WAS GOING TO UNVEIL TODAY, BUT I GUESS YOU BEAT ME TO IT! ;_;

10kvg: I think I prefer my spinach boiled and mushy, but there's no reason I couldn't have a bit of that as a side-dish

Esuohlim Jan 5th, 2012 08:10 PM

IT WAS JUST VERY HARD FOR ME TO IGNORE YOUR ARROGANCE OVER YOUR "DISCOVERY" OF MAKING A SALAD WITHOUT LETTUCE. How can someone who has done every drug on the planet be so sheltered?

Guitar Woman Jan 5th, 2012 08:18 PM

It was a joke, come on I thought this was ironyville

I mostly just wanted to talk about how much I fucking hate lettuce.

Esuohlim Jan 5th, 2012 09:00 PM

Iceberg lettuce is awesome. Crispy and completely nutrition-free and flavorless. :fuckspeak

Sam Jan 5th, 2012 09:59 PM

MAN, I JUST WANNA RUB MY DICK ON SOME LETTUCE NOW.

kahljorn Jan 6th, 2012 12:44 AM

DID U TRY PUTTIN WEED IN IT

LOL THATS MY KINDA SALAD

Zhukov Jan 6th, 2012 11:12 AM

OR HEROIN.

Guitar Woman Jan 6th, 2012 01:14 PM

heroin tastes like earwax, I don't think it'd make a very good salad topping

Colonel Flagg Jan 6th, 2012 02:30 PM

From lettuce to earwax in less than 20 posts.

RaNkeri Jan 6th, 2012 05:26 PM



:rock

RaNkeri Jan 6th, 2012 05:27 PM

Happy New Year you filthy animals :rolleyes

Esuohlim Jan 6th, 2012 10:28 PM

:rolleyes

Babs Jan 7th, 2012 12:56 AM

rubbed my dick on a dollar bill, got herpes

Sam Jan 7th, 2012 01:17 AM

HEY RANKERI

HOW IS BEING A FAT DUTCH MORON WITH FROZEN PISS ON YOUR HANDS GOING?

ALSO KNOWN AS BEING A DOCTOR IN DUTCHLAND OR WHERE EVER.

Esuohlim Jan 7th, 2012 01:34 AM

rankeri you fucker

Esuohlim Jan 7th, 2012 02:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 570310)
A few years ago my buddy and I where going to go as the twin towers and then have two friends go as planes. The planes would come running around the corner and hit us.

POSTS LIKE THESE, JERKS.

IF I HAVE TO KEEP COMING BACK EVERY DAY TO SEE 15 NEW POSTS AND 11 ARE SPAM I'M GONNA PULL A WILLIE

Colonel Flagg Jan 7th, 2012 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaNkeri (Post 753429)


:rock

:bestthread

RannyK, YOU DA MAN!

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 7th, 2012 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zomboid (Post 570308)
Hey, I'm done work for the summer. You wanna do the Anne Frank strategy in Halo 3?

Moreso I want to know what the anne frank strategy is now.

Tadao Jan 7th, 2012 03:10 PM

I'm pulling my Willie right now.

Babs Jan 7th, 2012 03:25 PM

Took a spicy shit today, whipped my ass roughly, my immediate reaction.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 7th, 2012 04:49 PM

Serious Business.

Unrelated but I kinda want to get this now
http://www.ebay.com/itm/MASTERS-UNIV...item9758a175fc

Zomboid Jan 7th, 2012 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 753461)
Moreso I want to know what the anne frank strategy is now.

When did I even post that? I am such a stupid drunkard--my memory is completely fucked. The Anne Frank strategy is hiding out on a higher level and waiting for people to burst in, then shotgunning them in the faces.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 7th, 2012 09:51 PM

:lol

Sam Jan 7th, 2012 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zomboid (Post 753469)
When did I even post that? I am such a stupid drunkard--my memory is completely fucked. The Anne Frank strategy is hiding out on a higher level and waiting for people to burst in, then shotgunning them in the faces.

SHIT WAS SO CASH, BRAH.

Zhukov Jan 8th, 2012 03:43 AM

Historically accurate.

Guitar Woman Jan 8th, 2012 08:19 PM

kahl, are you a transsexual or a transvestite?

if the former can I ask you some questions

Zhukov Jan 8th, 2012 08:35 PM

I thought it was transsexual for the longest time, but I'm pretty sure he's just transvestite.

Guitar Woman Jan 8th, 2012 08:47 PM

Oh. Well shit.

Esuohlim Jan 8th, 2012 08:48 PM

Doesn't transvestite just mean cross-dressing, and basically wanting to keep your gender? I thought kahl was taking hormones.

Babs Jan 9th, 2012 01:14 AM

I want to see. Kahl, let me see.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 9th, 2012 01:57 AM

What are those questions...just for the record.

Esuohlim Jan 9th, 2012 02:07 AM

I bet those questions will result in some hardcore lol emoticons

Guitar Woman Jan 9th, 2012 04:11 AM

1. How expensive is hormone replacement/antiandrogen therapy?
2. How expensive is your general facial feminization procedure?
3. Is it possible to get surgery on your feets so they don't look like disgusting manflippers anymore?
4. During transitioning did you ever notice any sort of discrimination that interfered with your ability to do essential shit (i.e. get a job, rent an apartment, not get thrown out of respectable establishments because they don't serve your type round here, etc.)?
5. If you go to the gym, do you use the men's or women's locker room? It's obvious to me what bathroom you'd use, but the locker room's a bit trickier since you have to actually be naked in front of other people. So I'm either a chick with a penis in the men's room or a guy with tits in the ladies' room. Bit awkward.

Babs Jan 9th, 2012 04:39 AM

I'm just going to sit back and watch this unfold in the most magnificant way possible.

Guitar Woman Jan 9th, 2012 07:00 AM

How about you sit back and suck the dick I wish I didn't have

Zhukov Jan 9th, 2012 07:05 AM

It's 2012, I think most of us are up to speed on the idea of GW being female by now.

Guitar Woman Jan 9th, 2012 07:08 AM

I'm not even sure if I'm gonna transition at all. I'm very mannish and couldn't pass as a girl without extensive plastic surgery, and chances are I'll never have the money for that. As it stands, I think I'll just have to stay a boy and deal with it, although a few trannies I've talked to think that's incredibly unhealthy.

Too bad brain transplants aren't a thing.

kahljorn Jan 9th, 2012 07:08 AM

Quote:

3. Is it possible to get surgery on your feets so they don't look like disgusting manflippers anymore?
i guess you didn't watch king of the hill or you'd know the answer to this

why would you goto a gym

also sry we dont have a very good advice/advicetaking ratio

Guitar Woman Jan 9th, 2012 07:10 AM

Oh god, you're right, I'd look like Peggy.

:(

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 9th, 2012 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 753513)
1. How expensive is hormone replacement/antiandrogen therapy?
2. How expensive is your general facial feminization procedure?
3. Is it possible to get surgery on your feets so they don't look like disgusting manflippers anymore?
4. During transitioning did you ever notice any sort of discrimination that interfered with your ability to do essential shit (i.e. get a job, rent an apartment, not get thrown out of respectable establishments because they don't serve your type round here, etc.)?
5. If you go to the gym, do you use the men's or women's locker room? It's obvious to me what bathroom you'd use, but the locker room's a bit trickier since you have to actually be naked in front of other people. So I'm either a chick with a penis in the men's room or a guy with tits in the ladies' room. Bit awkward.

I feel like it is expensive because insurance is lame about it.
Pretty sure you can get any kind of surgery to help, not sure how much about feet though.
For discrimination it kind of depends where you live. There was a mayor a few years ago that changed sexes to a woman and kept her job.

I would totally be a chick if I wasn't a dad. Also I wouldn't be able to part with bonesaw.

Guitar Woman Jan 9th, 2012 10:09 AM

well, you don't technically part with him, he just changes into Elizabeth.

Rongi Jan 9th, 2012 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 753515)
How about you sit back and suck the dick I wish I didn't have

If he sat back it would be kind of hard for him to suck your dick. Unless you like stood up and shoved it in his mouth

Rongi Jan 9th, 2012 11:10 AM

i haven't slept in two days and my right hand is kind of numb. i think i might die soon

nah jk

but insomnia seriously fucking sucks

Guitar Woman Jan 9th, 2012 11:32 AM

If it's that bad, haven't you tried ambien?

Rongi Jan 9th, 2012 12:14 PM

I'm not really into the idea of taking meds to fall asleep, but I might not have a choice :(

Part of the reason I haven't been able to sleep is because I have spent the past couple of weeks drunk and stoned and I decided to stop doing either for a while. My body is kind of pissed off at me for not being inebriated, so it won't let me sleep >:

Chojin Jan 9th, 2012 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 753518)
i guess you didn't watch king of the hill or you'd know the answer to this

also sry we dont have a very good advice/advicetaking ratio

shit, there goes my chance to cheeseburger your advice thread

Chojin Jan 9th, 2012 01:33 PM

anyway gw your tranny friends have just brainwashed each other in their stupid tranny cult and i think you'd do best to just find things aesthetic things about being a guy. it was one of the reasons i started lifting.

i don't remember how old you are, but i had this feeling in my late teens/early 20s and got past it.

Guitar Woman Jan 9th, 2012 01:41 PM

Ambien, at least, is not addictive, and is much more effective at inducing sleep than any sort of addictive sedative medications.

This isn't to say it's not dangerous, since if you take ambien and forget to go to sleep, you'll be acting like this asshole (NSFW):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4z7mm4uEFM

If you live with someone, get them to hide your ambien and other prescriptions and especially your car keys; you'll drive off a fucking cliff on ambien. It's like drinking 20 bottles of wine in about 30 minutes, easily the most powerful sleeping pill there is.

The only real problem after acting like a retarded jackass if you forget to go to sleep is that, tolerance builds up hell of fast; first three days are 5 milligrams, fourth day is 15, fifth day is 30, etc. It'll drop fast, too, so my recommendation would be taking it only when you really need to get up the next morning.

Guitar Woman Jan 9th, 2012 01:49 PM

Quote:

anyway gw your tranny friends have just brainwashed each other in their stupid tranny cult
Yeah, that's why I'm looking for advice from someone I know who isn't a fucking weird creepy asshole. 420chan and other chan-sites have tranny boards, and they're full of people jacking each other off and camwhoring and whining about how hard being a tranny is; they're like furries except with gender instead of species. I've never stayed on any of those for more than a minute or two.

And I have considered that these feelings might go away, but I've pretty much had them since I was 12, so I think this is going to keep being a thing. If I don't fuck shit up in the near future I might have a female friend who mentally identifies as a boy, so at least I'll have company.

God knows what my dad would think, although my parents are aware that I'm not exactly a normal person

King Hadas Jan 9th, 2012 01:51 PM

I've heard of people who chose gender reassignment and then later were hugely disappointed. Like that Daniel Bunten guy who created that famous Atari game M.u.l.e. "Being my 'real self' could have included...more femininity in whatever forms made sense. I didn't know that until too late and now I have to make the best of the life I've stumbled into. I just wish I would have tried more options before I jumped off the precipice (i.e inverted my dick into a pussy)." This can't happen to you though since your just some broke nobody, so no worries.

Guitar Woman Jan 9th, 2012 01:54 PM

That's... reassuring?

Tadao Jan 9th, 2012 02:25 PM

I think call is an Omnisexual/Omnigender

Esuohlim Jan 9th, 2012 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by King Hadas (Post 753532)
I've heard of people who chose gender reassignment and then later were hugely disappointed.

No way man, check out the excitement on Chaz Bono's face about his ability to grow a neck beard!


Chojin Jan 9th, 2012 04:06 PM

i will never for the life of me understand why someone would choose to wear a neckbeard

take this guy from my facebook for example



who does that and then is like "yeah, that looks good."

my hypothesis is that obese people feel a forest of neckpubes is preferable to exposing their 2+ chins

King Hadas Jan 9th, 2012 04:34 PM

Yeah it's all about giving them a jawline cause you only see fat people sporting neckbeards. But like bald people wearing toupees it fails to hide the problem and instead draws attention to it.

Maybe I should start taking whatever hormones Chaz Bono's taking. I wish I could grow such a nice even beard.

Esuohlim Jan 9th, 2012 04:42 PM

That's what the fat guy goatee is for, to define the border between a fat guy's fat chin and his fat neck. The neckbeard is still beyond my understanding.

Fathom Zero Jan 9th, 2012 04:55 PM

dumb

Babs Jan 9th, 2012 05:05 PM

Fuck your 5 haired neckbeard, talk about hormone injections and home made man caves. Shit, I wouldn't mind hearing another story of tadao's $5 vasectomy. Just get natural with it.

Sam Jan 9th, 2012 05:12 PM

INVERTED MY DICK INTO AN EVEN BIGGER DICK

Sam Jan 9th, 2012 05:12 PM

IT WAS LIKE FOLDING SOCKS TOGETHER.

Sam Jan 9th, 2012 05:21 PM

THOSE THICK-ASS THERMAL SOCKS.

Babs Jan 9th, 2012 05:37 PM

Converted my prolapse to be an oven mitt for dicks.

Guitar Woman Jan 9th, 2012 06:06 PM

Neckbeards are how you know who not to be friends with.

I want to just make a worldwide public service announcement to all fat people and tell them that growing a beard won't make them look less fucking fat; neither will wearing a fedora and trenchcoat. Linkara's like the uber-sperglord. I wish he'd grow the neckbeard, just to complete the look.

Speaking of him, has anyone seen his webcomic? He drew it when he was about 19 and describes it as "a realistic look at superheroes."

http://lightbringer.comicgenesis.com/d/20060315.html

It's so fucking bad.

liquidstatik Jan 9th, 2012 06:55 PM

hey guys i don't talk to anymore i'm starting HRT tomorrow yay

Tadao Jan 9th, 2012 06:57 PM

You're finally gonna get male hormones?

liquidstatik Jan 9th, 2012 06:58 PM

ZING, NO.

Tadao Jan 9th, 2012 07:00 PM

I'll inject some hormones into you. :wank

liquidstatik Jan 9th, 2012 07:22 PM

#inappropriate

kahljorn Jan 9th, 2012 08:52 PM

Quote:

shit, there goes my chance to cheeseburger your advice thread
Still mad?

Dr. Boogie Jan 9th, 2012 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 753544)
i will never for the life of me understand why someone would choose to wear a neckbeard

1. Because he's overjoyed he was able to grow any hair on hiface.
2. He thinks it looks better then a bare neckroll.

Rongi Jan 10th, 2012 12:33 PM

I got to sleep last night, but at 6:30PM. I woke up around 1:30AM, have been up since. Feels weird, man

I went to the hospital at one point because I thought I was losing my mind. When I got there there was a 6 hour wait to be seen. There were people waiting who were throwing up blood. I just ended up leaving.

I'm pretty sure if I don't leave Long Island I am going to drink myself to death or start doing hard drugs. When I was at school I had pretty much no problem going to sleep at night. This place is hell.

Rongi Jan 10th, 2012 12:35 PM

Oh btw I have a beard and i think it looks ok. I mainly have it because I am too lazy to go buy a razor and shave it off.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 10th, 2012 05:03 PM

You should go back to school.

Esuohlim Jan 10th, 2012 06:10 PM



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:34 AM.

Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.