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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Guitar Woman Nov 13th, 2007 09:14 PM

Holy hell, the Play n' Trade I applied for employment at is all kinds of nice. It has an ENORMOUS skylight in the middle, and the walls are lined with kiosks for every console and handheld from the past 6 years. There's also one dedicated specifically to Guitar Hero, and at the counter we have 2 high-powered PCs with widescreen LCD monitors. The dudes I'll work with are about my age, and the manager is in his late 20's or early 30's and really easy-going about everything. I showed up and started helping out until he showed up. I unpacked all the games for the store, and they had shit that wasn't even out yet. When he finally got there he seemed impressed by my application and resume being presented all professional-like, and the actual interview is set for the 26th.

I really, really, really, REALLY hope I get this fucking job. I'd almost pay to work in a place like this, it is that fantastic.

:<

Esuohlim Nov 13th, 2007 09:29 PM

Pay to work :eek :eek :eek

Guitar Woman Nov 13th, 2007 09:30 PM

Sort of like World of Warcraft, but without the furries

Fathom Zero Nov 13th, 2007 09:51 PM

You're not gonna make the cut :lol

Chojin Nov 13th, 2007 09:54 PM

You should have pretended to be a girl for the first year of your employment!

Fathom Zero Nov 13th, 2007 10:34 PM

A pretty girl behind the counter at Burger King started flirting with me.

Esuohlim Nov 13th, 2007 11:22 PM

I would say hit that but it's probably not nice to hit retarded girls. :(

I guess what I'm saying is I'd be hell of embarrassed to tell people I met my girlfriend while she was working at Burger King >:

Fathom Zero Nov 13th, 2007 11:26 PM

Then you get my position completely.

HickMan Nov 13th, 2007 11:42 PM

She must be a --

Mississippi Queen
If you know what i mean
Mississippi Queen
She taught me everything
Way down around Vicksburg
Around Lousiana way
Lives a canjun lady
Called the Mississippi Queen
You know she was a dancer
She moved better on wine
While the rest of them dudes
Was gettin their kicks
Buddy beg your pardon
I was gettin mine
Mississippi Queen
If you know what i mean
Mississippi Queen
She taught me everything
This lady she asked me
If i would be her man
You know that i told her
Id do what i can
To keep her lookin pretty
Buy her dresses that shine
While the rest of them dudes
Was makin their bread
Buddy beg your pardon
I was losin mine
Oh you know she was a dancer
She moved better on wine
While the rest of them dudes
Was gettin their kicks
Buddy beg your pardon
I was gettin mine

MetalMilitia Nov 14th, 2007 09:06 AM

I wouldn't mind telling people I met a girl in Burger King so long as it didn't turn out that she was actually just a burger wearing a jaunty hat.

HungryWantBiddy Nov 14th, 2007 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia (Post 511119)
I wouldn't mind telling people I met a girl in Burger King so long as it didn't turn out that she was actually just a burger wearing a jaunty hat.

That would make her more appealing (to me anyway) than any chick I've ever seen working at Burger King.

RaNkeri Nov 14th, 2007 11:19 AM

Holy shit my head's in pieces :x

bigtimecow Nov 14th, 2007 12:47 PM

LOL SORRY

Grislygus Nov 14th, 2007 02:23 PM

I was flirting with girl at Burger King last night, it was going great until she mentioned that I was as cute as her son.

RaNkeri Nov 14th, 2007 02:48 PM

I was once in front of McDonalds and heard these girls right behind me say something along the lines "Nice ass" I then turned to them and said "thanks" and they replied "We weren't talkin' bout you" in which I replied "Sorry, my bad" and fled the scene.

MetalMilitia Nov 14th, 2007 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 511140)
I was flirting with girl at Burger King last night, it was going great until she mentioned that I was as cute as her son.

Was she wearing a jaunty hat because I've heard something about that.

HickMan Nov 14th, 2007 02:56 PM

Your avatar doesnt even look like a predator

-Clayton

RaNkeri Nov 14th, 2007 03:03 PM

You'll have to blame japs for that.

RaNkeri Nov 14th, 2007 03:05 PM

Besides, I'd use the predator de-cloaking gif, but it's too big for the forum. Or predator beatin an alien, but it's also too big.

I suck at resizing too.

MarioRPG Nov 14th, 2007 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaNkeri (Post 511145)
I was once in front of McDonalds and heard these girls right behind me say something along the lines "Nice ass" I then turned to them and said "thanks" and they replied "We weren't talkin' bout you" in which I replied "Sorry, my bad" and fled the scene.

Oh man, I see stuff like that happen everyday.

Esuohlim Nov 14th, 2007 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaNkeri (Post 511150)
Besides, I'd use the predator de-cloaking gif, but it's too big for the forum. Or predator beatin an alien, but it's also too big.

I suck at resizing too.

Better yet why don't you use that guy dancing in the bear costume again lol

Fathom Zero Nov 15th, 2007 12:18 AM

My head is so fucked up right now.

Fathom Zero Nov 15th, 2007 12:47 AM

I saw a guy at work today that had a goiter.

RaNkeri Nov 15th, 2007 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 511184)
Better yet why don't you use that guy dancing in the bear costume again lol

I believe it's also too big. That's why I changed it in the first place.

HickMan Nov 15th, 2007 12:33 PM

It's been so long from the last time I changed my avatar I forgot how

-clayton

Esuohlim Nov 15th, 2007 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaNkeri (Post 511205)
I believe it's also too big. That's why I changed it in the first place.

Not to mention that there's probably four people around here with the same avatar already

RaNkeri Nov 15th, 2007 01:18 PM

And I'd stick to my predator anyway

RaNkeri Nov 15th, 2007 02:07 PM

Can any of you guys tell me how do I point out that

(e^x)^y = e^xy And I'm NOT allowed to use the simple rules of exponential functions.


I'm having this weeks' analysis demonstrasions tomorrow and I haven't done shit :x

Emu Nov 15th, 2007 03:34 PM

Drop out

irish Nov 15th, 2007 03:50 PM

G'day :D haven't been on here in ages. I saw the horror night's feature dealy.. and it made me remember that I went to the one in Orlando. Wow just wow :O I am a huge scaredy cat and with only my two evil brothers with me.. well I think you can guess.

Thought I'd share the with ye that: Leatherface said "I'm not actually going to hurt you" after I screamed at him, "DON'T TOUCH ME!!"
Ehehe

MarioRPG Nov 15th, 2007 04:45 PM

I wish I could have that job.

Esuohlim Nov 15th, 2007 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaNkeri (Post 511255)
Can any of you guys tell me how do I point out that

(e^x)^y = e^xy And I'm NOT allowed to use the simple rules of exponential functions.


I'm having this weeks' analysis demonstrasions tomorrow and I haven't done shit :x

Are you allowed to just substitute actual numbers for x and y and prove it that way? Like (e^5)^3 = (e^5)(e^5)(e^5) = e^15 = e^(5x3)

Esuohlim Nov 15th, 2007 11:11 PM

PERSONALLY I WOULD JUST TRY PROVING THIS INSTEAD


Fathom Zero Nov 15th, 2007 11:58 PM

ASSOCIATIVE PROPERTY, STUPID. >:

Emu Nov 16th, 2007 01:01 AM

So like there's this Japanese restaurant here that I absolutely love. It's a small place that serves mostly sushi and the food is great and I adore the atmosphere. My girlfriend and I eat there at least once a week, and have done so for the past 3 months or so. We go in there today and as I'm going to pay the manager tells me that if I don't start leaving tips that she's going to have to add a service charge to my bill.

This is bullshit on several levels.

1.) In at least 2 dozen times attending the place, I think that perhaps once or twice I have not left a tip. And this has only been because I didn't have any small-bill cash on me. There's a jar on the sushi bar used for tips, and I always make certain that the sushi chefs see me leave the tip, and they always say "thank you" when I do so. I've worked in a restaurant before and I know how important tips are. Plus, the service has always been great and I like the place, so I tip.

2.) I'm pretty sure charging a service fee to eat at a fucking restaurant is damn close to being illegal.

3.) The manager attempted to explain to me how tips work as if I'm retarded, then proceeded to condescend to me, telling me "You American people know how tips are supposed to work." Apparently she seems to have thought that tipping is a requirement rather than a courtesy.

So yeah, fuck. Probably won't be eating there again, as much as I hate to say that.

Chojin Nov 16th, 2007 01:18 AM

Service fees are illegal, yes. But what did you do to make the manager have to pull you aside, then?

Emu Nov 16th, 2007 01:21 AM

Nothing. I went to pay for my food and she said that the chefs told her that I haven't been leaving tips.

And it's not like we're poor customers or anything. We usually practically bus our own table. We generally get between 20-30 dollars in food every time we go, sometimes even more than that. It seemed really out of left field and I think she was trying to pull something on us. From the way she talked about it I guess she thought that the tip is just a given here instead of a courtesy, like I said before.

Zomboid Nov 16th, 2007 01:40 AM

People who expect or demand tips every time disgust me.

JediScum Nov 16th, 2007 10:34 AM

When I lived in Austin, I went to a restaurant and got horrible service. The waiter literally ran out the door after me because I didn't tip. I crumpled up a dollar and threw it at his feet.

MattJack Nov 16th, 2007 01:33 PM

You sure showed him huh

did everyone start high5ing you n shit after that?

noob3 Nov 16th, 2007 03:50 PM

My girlfriend and I were once eating at a loca bbq chain, Earl's. I was done eating, and she asked me if I would like to eat her fries. Being the fat boy that I am, I complied and proceeded to eat her remaining food. Our waitress comes over, who is some ugly chick in emo glasses & alot of make up, and proceeds to say "Wow, talk about a garbage disposal!" I'm not sure if that was some sort of joke or what, but it was more then enough reason for us not to tip her, that and the fact she didn't even refill my drink.

So we start to leave, and she yells "HAVE A GOOD DAY YOU.. YOU JERKS!" We started laughing. We actually called up to Earl's later to complain about the service, and she picked up the phone. No shit. I was like "Uh, can I talk to your manager?" "Uh.. Hold on. Wait, I AM THE MANAGER!" :lol

bigtimecow Nov 17th, 2007 12:15 AM

damn straight mattjack

damn straight

Guitar Woman Nov 17th, 2007 01:40 AM

Does anyone else randomly click on threads the guests are reading? I recently found this gem by doing that!

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5948

Eyelobe Nov 17th, 2007 02:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 511412)
Does anyone else randomly click on threads the guests are reading? I recently found this gem by doing that!

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5948

I discovered this entire site randomly one night. For better or for worse, I'm glad I did. Cheers to all you weirdos out there.

DuFresne Nov 17th, 2007 05:12 AM

Christ, what is it with these new people and quoting the entire post before them? This isn't the best example, but all over I'm seeing people quote 10+ lines of text from the post directly above theirs, as if we'd otherwise have no idea who in the world the're refering to. >:

Eyelobe Nov 17th, 2007 05:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DuFresne (Post 511429)
Christ, what is it with these new people and quoting the entire post before them?

:rock

DuFresne Nov 17th, 2007 05:17 AM

thank you

Eyelobe Nov 17th, 2007 05:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DuFresne (Post 511429)
Christ, what is it with these new people and quoting the entire post before them? This isn't the best example, but all over I'm seeing people quote 10+ lines of text from the post directly above theirs, as if we'd otherwise have no idea who in the world the're refering to. >:

:|

DuFresne Nov 17th, 2007 05:29 AM

you can't handle my editing prowess!

Eyelobe Nov 17th, 2007 06:41 AM

Sneaky monkey :) I saw that.


bigtimecow Nov 17th, 2007 01:09 PM

lol i smell a quote pyramid

Chojin Nov 17th, 2007 05:10 PM

Secret Santa info in this other thread a lot of you may not have seen:

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showt...php?t=69698211

Also, DuFresne - calm down, dear.

Mockery Nov 17th, 2007 08:30 PM

The 2007 Secret Santa Event is now live:

SIGN UP TODAY!
http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showt...php?t=69698238

Deadline to sign up is November 27th.

MarioRPG Nov 18th, 2007 10:03 AM

Neat. It's gonna be a blast.

bigtimecow Nov 18th, 2007 11:22 PM

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Seven Force Nov 18th, 2007 11:26 PM

Christmas will be unforgettable for a few, I can feel it. :lol

Chojin Nov 19th, 2007 01:52 AM

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showt...php?t=69698251

Help out with the new rules!

Guitar Woman Nov 19th, 2007 02:10 AM

guys cabo is awesome


so are mango flavored margaritas <3

Guitar Woman Nov 19th, 2007 02:12 AM

PS IN CASE YOU DIDN'T GET THE HINT I'M REALLY FUCKING DRUNK RIGHT NOW :lol

Emu Nov 19th, 2007 02:13 AM

dude chojin already did that joke like a year and a half ago :rolleyes

Guitar Woman Nov 19th, 2007 02:24 AM

This is a really amazing vacation spot. If y'all have never been there I reccomend going at least once.

I am staying in a 4 star hotel with ants on the ground floor and in my free time I go lay around in the ocean (which is warmer than the hotel pool). I'm going swimming with dolphins on thursday, and before that I will offroad on ATVs and go parasailing. It will be FANTASTIC.

Emu Nov 19th, 2007 02:25 AM

I've never been to This, what's it like

Guitar Woman Nov 19th, 2007 02:31 AM

I said Cabo a few posts ago you faggot :<

Although that's also pretty vague because there are at least 2 towns here with Cabo in the title

So yeah it's Cabo san Lucas at the tip of the Baja Peninsula

Which is in Mexico

RaNkeri Nov 19th, 2007 03:39 AM

I've always had this image that margaritas are for girls and fags. Funny.

Guitar Woman Nov 19th, 2007 03:55 AM

I want to take part in the Secret Santa event this year, but the EPIC CONSEQUENCES for not doing it right always overwhelmed me and are even worse this year.

UH GUYS I WASN'T ABLE TO SEND MY GIFT ON TIME DUE TO MY MOTHER DYING IN A HORRID ACCIDENT

BANNED

MetalMilitia Nov 19th, 2007 06:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 511636)
I want to take part in the Secret Santa event this year, but the EPIC CONSEQUENCES for not doing it right always overwhelmed me and are even worse this year.

UH GUYS I WASN'T ABLE TO SEND MY GIFT ON TIME DUE TO MY MOTHER DYING IN A HORRID ACCIDENT

BANNED

Weird, you'd think that you would be used to getting banned by now.

Esuohlim Nov 19th, 2007 09:37 AM

I'm not taking part because Seven Force is in it and if we get paired up he'll have access to my mailing address.

In fact I think everyone should just bow out because of this, better safe than sorry.

Seven Force Nov 19th, 2007 12:24 PM

Pffft, I could get that anytime. You just don't want to give me anything, scrooge.

bigtimecow Nov 19th, 2007 11:42 PM

lol seven force is black!

i remember the pictures

noob3 Nov 20th, 2007 11:27 AM

every1 should join secret santa so i can have your address maybe and send you good stuff

duh fuckers

Seven Force Nov 20th, 2007 11:59 AM

i'd send chuck awesome stuff

because hes awesome

noob3 Nov 20th, 2007 01:00 PM

jawesome!!

MarioRPG Nov 20th, 2007 04:00 PM

The mo awesome.

Esuohlim Nov 21st, 2007 01:51 PM

Hey does anyone know who has the number (000) 000-0000

The fucker won't stop calling >:

Pub Lover Nov 21st, 2007 02:41 PM

Oh you guys. :rolleyes

Pub Lover Nov 21st, 2007 03:03 PM

Hey guys, is it true that Wesley Snipes is dead? :eek

Pub Lover Nov 21st, 2007 03:04 PM

My best bud Biffy told me, but I dunno if I trust him as much as you, Internet. :(

Grislygus Nov 21st, 2007 03:07 PM

The internet says no.

http://www.nme.com/blog/index.php?bl...&c=1&tb=1&pb=1


But it IS true that Denzel Washington was murdered by Michael Jackson.

Pub Lover Nov 21st, 2007 03:09 PM

So I had this dream where I met the RetroKat's dad but I was too embarrised to tell him my screenname or the website so I just left the store & carried on with my dream. What is proper dream/internet protocol? I just don't know. :(

Grislygus Nov 21st, 2007 03:11 PM

Molestation and kidnapping, probably.

Pub Lover Nov 21st, 2007 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 511890)
Molestation and kidnapping, probably.

And that applies to REAL life too right? I ask as I have Tropical in a pretty intimate embrace & I wonder if he's protesting too much...

Grislygus Nov 21st, 2007 03:17 PM

Just remember, nobody else is a real person.



:aok

Pub Lover Nov 21st, 2007 03:20 PM

You say that but it sure feels real when he bends back your arm for stroking his leg in public. ;(

Pub Lover Nov 21st, 2007 03:21 PM

OH EMM GEE! WHERE THE HELL IS MY POSTCOUNT?! >:

Grislygus Nov 21st, 2007 03:21 PM

That's why you drug it first.

Grislygus Nov 21st, 2007 03:21 PM

Post count's hidden now, click the User CP tab in the upper left.

Pub Lover Nov 21st, 2007 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 511896)
That's why you drug it first.

He doesn't drink. >:

It's like being on a date with a Mormon chick, except he doesn't have a 'tashe.

Grislygus Nov 21st, 2007 03:23 PM

Scratch that, just click your name in a thread and click "view public profile".

Grislygus Nov 21st, 2007 03:24 PM

Drug the FOOD, god.

Pub Lover Nov 21st, 2007 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 511897)
Post count's hidden now, click the User CP tab in the upper left.

I don't care about MY postcount. >:

I do care about everyone else seeing how much I don't care however! >:

Internet Homoisms. >:

Pub Lover Nov 21st, 2007 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 511900)
Drug the FOOD, god.

Jeese, it was hard enough getting him to eat the vegan burger the first time, nevermind if it had drugs in it.

Pub Lover Nov 21st, 2007 03:26 PM

By 'vegan burger' I mean 'my cock' of course. ;(

Grislygus Nov 21st, 2007 03:27 PM

Did you try clubbing him over the back of the head? Since you've been away from the internet awhile, I assume you've built up the required minimum of muscle mass.

Pub Lover Nov 21st, 2007 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 511899)
Scratch that...

He doesn't like THAT either. ;(

:rolleyes

Pub Lover Nov 21st, 2007 03:28 PM

Page Break.

Grislygus Nov 21st, 2007 03:28 PM

Oh shit, I meant "clubbing IT".


Faux Pas.

Grislygus Nov 21st, 2007 03:29 PM

Speaking of Page Breaks, check out page 1152-53.



I got your back, Person I Rarely Talk To.

Grislygus Nov 21st, 2007 03:40 PM

If I actually managed to creep you out, please clearly state so in this thread so that I may request a medal. Or a Barnstar.

Misdemonar Nov 21st, 2007 03:52 PM

WHATS CRACKIN PUB

MarioRPG Nov 21st, 2007 04:17 PM

Tis Pub! The apocalypse shall arive soon.


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