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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

RaNkeri Dec 1st, 2008 03:28 PM


Guitar Woman Dec 1st, 2008 03:37 PM

Getting impregnated would solve these sorts of problems, Carni

Dixie Dec 1st, 2008 03:43 PM

No, it wouldn't.
I'm intelligent enough to know I shouldn't be a parent.

Tadao Dec 1st, 2008 03:48 PM

and no afraid to murder

Dixie Dec 1st, 2008 04:02 PM

Euthanasia's not homocide.

Tadao Dec 1st, 2008 04:25 PM

Why do you have to take all the fun out of abortion Cig?

Dixie Dec 1st, 2008 04:26 PM

I thought that was the fun part.

Tadao Dec 1st, 2008 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Asila (Post 598804)
Can you help me get rid of this cough first?

Can I interest you in a throat lozenge?

Crimson Ghost Dec 1st, 2008 04:35 PM

I don't think there should be any youth in Asia.

liquidstatik Dec 1st, 2008 04:46 PM



I like the christmas header :eek

Guitar Woman Dec 1st, 2008 04:53 PM

I fucking hate that level

Tadao Dec 1st, 2008 05:34 PM

OMG Palin won't go away! I will forever hate McCain for this!

Grislygus Dec 1st, 2008 05:37 PM

The Beast That Wouldn't Die

Tadao Dec 1st, 2008 05:43 PM

I treated McCain with tons of respect for his service and not snitching, I even respected him because he would show emotion and yell and shit, but he has forever erased any respect I have for him by allowing himself to be a government puppet. Throw him in the fire with the rest of them.

Sam Dec 1st, 2008 05:45 PM

SUP DUDES?

Grislygus Dec 1st, 2008 05:46 PM

WHASSAP BRA

Grislygus Dec 1st, 2008 05:49 PM

CHECK THIS SHIT
Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 597745)



Tadao Dec 1st, 2008 05:49 PM

Howdy folks!

Tadao Dec 1st, 2008 05:50 PM

Don't get mad at me but is that John Lennon?

Grislygus Dec 1st, 2008 05:51 PM

Actually, it is a good friend of mine who suddenly decided to grow Fabio hair and rock out with his cock out, and requested a picture of himself destroying Canada

Grislygus Dec 1st, 2008 05:52 PM

That would have been awesome if it was Lennon :(

Don't tell anyone that it isn't

Tadao Dec 1st, 2008 06:02 PM

I like to think of Lennon finally losing it on some people.

Asila Dec 1st, 2008 06:06 PM

I haven't seen The Last Unicorn since I was a kid

I'm just as amused as my three year old.

"Oh God no, I'm engaged to a Douglas Fir!"

Tadao Dec 1st, 2008 06:14 PM

I've never seen any unicorn so count yourself lucky!

Grislygus Dec 1st, 2008 06:17 PM

Dude, Mia Farrow was in that?

Grislygus Dec 1st, 2008 06:18 PM

Angela Lansbury, Alan Arkin, and Christopher Lee too, huh

Kitsa Dec 1st, 2008 06:23 PM

Oh, yeah.

I went to elementary school with this kid who honestly believed that she was a horse. Specifically, a lavender horse with a purple mane. She galloped around the playground and everything. I think she might have been a tad unbalanced.

Anyway, her big thing was to try and force people to reenact The Last Unicorn with her. She was the unicorn, of course.

Even way back then I thought people were stupid.

Grislygus Dec 1st, 2008 06:33 PM

Plot seems kinda dull

Kitsa Dec 1st, 2008 07:50 PM

This horrible day will not end.

I was making spaghetti for dinner. The noodles were cooked to perfection. I put the strainer atop the pot of noodles, as usual, and inverted it to drain them. The entire pot of spaghetti found its way out a 2-inch crevice on one side of the strainer and went straight down the garbage disposal.

We're out of dishwasher detergent and I can't afford to buy any till Wednesday. My hands are too torn-up to do the dishes by hand, so I tried squirting a little bit of dish soap into the dishwasher. In retrospect, not the brightest move. Our kitchen floor is covered in suds about an ankle deep.

After dinner, I'm going to bed.

Asila Dec 1st, 2008 08:21 PM

It's not a great plot, but it's amusing. Shmendrick and um... the lady with the wild hair, Molly, make it watchable. The love bits between the prince and Amalthea almost make it not. They're set to America.

Also it's very pretty.

Dixie Dec 1st, 2008 08:22 PM

:( bad day for you and me both darlin.
I HAD TO PASS UP SEX
I am so unhappy.

Pub Lover Dec 1st, 2008 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Asila (Post 598833)
I AM ENTITLED TO MY OPINION

Nu uh.

Colonel Flagg Dec 1st, 2008 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 598873)
We're out of dishwasher detergent and I can't afford to buy any till Wednesday. My hands are too torn-up to do the dishes by hand, so I tried squirting a little bit of dish soap into the dishwasher. In retrospect, not the brightest move. Our kitchen floor is covered in suds about an ankle deep.

I've done this too - on the bright side, it's the kind of mistake you only make once.

I feel your pain, Kit. Have a whiskey on the rocks, on me. Tell 'em "Flagg's settin' me up". :(

JJ_Maniac Dec 1st, 2008 09:34 PM

Just to point sumfin out, if you pour salt on the suds, it'll make them go down.

MetalMilitia Dec 1st, 2008 09:36 PM

Don't listen to this guy - I tried that once and it exploded my kitchen into smithereens!

JJ_Maniac Dec 1st, 2008 09:38 PM

Blast! My nefarious scheme is ruined! CURSE YOU, RICHARDS!

Asila Dec 1st, 2008 10:06 PM

i think i just sprained my ankle oh god ithurtsithurtsithurts

Grislygus Dec 1st, 2008 10:09 PM

Asila, honestly, do you need a boner hug? We could send someone




And by someone I mean Tadao, but you have to act surprised when he shows up at the door

Asila Dec 1st, 2008 10:10 PM

It might make me feel better :(

Grislygus Dec 1st, 2008 10:12 PM

You may have to share it with CiG and Kitsa though, get a hairpin ready

Asila Dec 1st, 2008 10:15 PM

we can take turns

Grislygus Dec 1st, 2008 10:17 PM

But who gets to hold his hair back when he pukes on your porch?

Asila Dec 1st, 2008 10:21 PM

That's what hair ties are for!

I'll bet Kitsa'll do it

Tadao Dec 1st, 2008 10:38 PM

I wouldn't mind 3 seconds of sex and then watching you 3 fool around.

Asila Dec 1st, 2008 10:45 PM

Yah you pull that all together and let me know :rolleyes

;)

Tadao Dec 1st, 2008 10:48 PM

I'm pulling it now.

Grislygus Dec 1st, 2008 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam (Post 598960)
DEFINE "STROKE SHORTLY"

It's what you do when you wanna beat around the bush but you don't want your h*rdon to go soft :x

Dixie Dec 2nd, 2008 12:28 AM

I am so angry.
But I'll still make you all better if you come over.
:P

Asila Dec 2nd, 2008 12:28 AM

So is that like a porno term? Should I add that to my list of porno terms right next to 'fluffer'?

Asila Dec 2nd, 2008 12:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carnivore Is God (Post 598975)
I am so angry.
But I'll still make you all better if you come over.
:P

HAWT

Dixie Dec 2nd, 2008 12:40 AM

You haven't seen my new pictures yet ;)

Dixie Dec 2nd, 2008 12:41 AM

Or did you check for them already?
I don't know, either way I'm still angry.
Stupid uterus.

Asila Dec 2nd, 2008 12:46 AM

Your bleeding doesn't make you less sexy lady OH YES I DID CHECK I SUPPOSE I SHOULD POST PICS MESELF

Dixie Dec 2nd, 2008 12:48 AM

Hahah I'll upload them to my photobucket tomorrow.
Don't post those here, they have sensitive info "watermarked" on them......
Bleeding may not detract from how I look, but it sure fucks with how I feel.
And it's fucking with my sex life goddammmmmmit

Asila Dec 2nd, 2008 12:50 AM

;)

stupid sex life

Asila Dec 2nd, 2008 02:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 598879)
Nu uh.

Yuh-huh me mommy told me so

Aaarg Dec 2nd, 2008 03:05 AM

i spent the previous two nights working the overnight shift, so now i'm wide awake at 2am and i hate life.

Kitsa Dec 2nd, 2008 10:13 AM

How did I get in on the porno team? I don't remember volunteering for a foursome.

It just got worse- I got up to a mountain of dishes I now had to wash by hand whether my hands are buggered or not. Then as the bf is headed out the door, he asks where his coat is. He asked me to wash it last night, and I did. I just didn't dry it because I was busy dealing with all the other shit and forgot.

Today is shaping up to be exactly like yesterday. I'm afraid.

MetalMilitia Dec 2nd, 2008 01:02 PM

I just thought of an awesome way to score hot chicks in art schools. Claim to have an unusually textured penis and ask if anyone wants to take a rubbing. Even if it doesn't work you'll at least earn yourself a place on the sex offenders register so it's really win-win.

Grislygus Dec 2nd, 2008 01:21 PM

Dude, all you have to do to score artschool chicks in have bullshit spewing out of your mouth constantly, Not sure how you could keep up after starting off that strong

MattJack Dec 2nd, 2008 01:40 PM

i can tell you

talk about indie bands that nobody has ever heard of

they eat that mess up

Sam Dec 2nd, 2008 01:42 PM

RILO KILEY, PAVEMENT, AND BRIGHT EYES

GET YOU LAID EVERYTIME. ;)

MattJack Dec 2nd, 2008 01:43 PM

shi* you might as well be packin latex at that point, bruh

Grislygus Dec 2nd, 2008 01:43 PM

Actually, yeah, just make sure to say that you "discovered" them

Sam Dec 2nd, 2008 01:44 PM

SEE GUYS, I KNOW.

I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE. :(

Grislygus Dec 2nd, 2008 01:45 PM

Art school? God, how could you stand to be in the same room as the guys, man, artfags are terrible

MattJack Dec 2nd, 2008 01:47 PM

artfags and music snobs

they are pmuch like jocks, but on the opposite end of the spectrum

Grislygus Dec 2nd, 2008 01:49 PM

I think I'm a music snob :(

Hate eminem so much it hurts

Grislygus Dec 2nd, 2008 01:50 PM

Well, actually, I listen to pretty awful music, but still, everyone's personal taste sucks except for me

Kitsa Dec 2nd, 2008 01:51 PM

I'm glad my art teachers all hated me and made me afraid of art school so I didn't go.

Sam Dec 2nd, 2008 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 599085)
Art school? God, how could you stand to be in the same room as the guys, man, artfags are terrible

TRYIN TO GET DAT P*SSY, SON.

Tadao Dec 2nd, 2008 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia (Post 599078)
I just thought of an awesome way to score hot chicks in art schools. Claim to have an unusually textured penis and ask if anyone wants to take a rubbing. Even if it doesn't work you'll at least earn yourself a place on the sex offenders register so it's really win-win.

That's awesome.

Tadao Dec 2nd, 2008 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 599055)
Today is shaping up to be exactly like yesterday. I'm afraid.

Self fulfilling prophecies?

I just got a phone call and the guy is all "Hello Todd?" I'm all "yeah?" He was then like all "I see you have stayed at Hilton Inn recently and we have a package not available to..." and I was all "No thank you" *click*.

Over Thanksgiving my brother said that the big two to go bankrupt right now are Hotels and Airlines because that shit is getting cut out of every works budget right now.

Point is... Who here has ever been cold called by a hotel? OMG WHAT IF MY WIFE FOUND OUT! MOTHER FUCKERS!

Kitsa Dec 2nd, 2008 02:44 PM

I keep getting called on my cell by some woman who thinks I'm "Greg". Apparently Greg owes on a boat.

I've told her that I'm a) not Greg and b) don't own a boat, but she will not be deterred.

I wonder if they're going to send repo people after me for the boat I don't have. Maybe they'll take a neighbor's bass boat.

Tadao Dec 2nd, 2008 02:46 PM


Tadao Dec 2nd, 2008 02:50 PM

You should see what she wants. If it's a sale, be all interested and then say hold on a sec, put the phone near the tv and walk away. My other favorite is walking into the bathroom while they give their pitch and flush the toilet just to see if I can put a break in their stride.

Dixie Dec 2nd, 2008 03:37 PM

I better stop bleeding by Friday.
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO RUIN MY WEEKEND UTERUS!

Crimson Ghost Dec 2nd, 2008 03:44 PM

I've gotten the boat call too when I was on vacation in the Cayman Islands. Only while I was there though.

Tadao Dec 2nd, 2008 04:02 PM

We get cruise ship calls all the time.

Kitsa Dec 2nd, 2008 04:35 PM

I meant, this guy bought a boat and is in collections for it or something.

Tadao Dec 2nd, 2008 04:36 PM

Ah, then tell them yeah he's here hold on, and then set the phone down and let them listen to nothing.

Neen Dec 2nd, 2008 06:43 PM

Did you co-sign anything for a relative? That's my guess.

Kitsa Dec 2nd, 2008 07:46 PM

nope, never cosigned for anyone. I think it's just a wrong number that they refuse to believe.

Guitar Woman Dec 2nd, 2008 09:06 PM

wow, guys, fuck jobhunting

Tadao Dec 2nd, 2008 09:16 PM

Yeah, job hunting is why most people stay in thier shitty jobs.

Asila Dec 2nd, 2008 09:44 PM

It sucks I may end up working at walmart again.

Tadao Dec 2nd, 2008 10:04 PM

Oh man, the jokes coming to me are endless :(

Asila Dec 2nd, 2008 10:08 PM

;)

10,000 Volt Ghost Dec 2nd, 2008 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carnivore Is God (Post 599135)
I better stop bleeding by Friday.
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO RUIN MY WEEKEND UTERUS!


I read this and then looked to the left at your BAD NEWS logo dripping red. I just thought to myself "BAD NEWS indeed."

Fathom Zero Dec 2nd, 2008 11:01 PM

There's a shitload of jobs where I'm at. Most of them are in food service, but there are a lot of openings in retail as well. It's weird. I think the recession is being caused by so many people quitting and being fired. I've had my job for two and a half years and we have just been getting more and more desperate for people.

It's that they can't afford to work for so little. However, it's a boon to the teenage workforce (booyah).

Kitsa Dec 2nd, 2008 11:05 PM

For some reason I can't get enough Rice Krispies. I ate like 4 bowls today.

I highly doubt I'm lucky enough to be pg again so it's probably just me being fat.

DevilWearsPrada Dec 2nd, 2008 11:06 PM

grain deficient.

WhiteRat Dec 3rd, 2008 12:47 AM

Big fat fucking piece of shit!

Fathom Zero Dec 3rd, 2008 12:49 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY_8woQ-HEA

Previous to Conan O'Brien's talkshow career...

WhiteRat Dec 3rd, 2008 12:56 AM

The Erasure guy has AIDS from the homo gay. :(

Fathom Zero Dec 3rd, 2008 01:07 AM

IT AIN'T FAIR I TELLS YA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfJnnl6Yekg

Pub Lover Dec 3rd, 2008 02:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sparklez (Post 599246)
Putting a tag on anyone you just meet arent you? Well news for you kiddo, im not emo =/. And thats my cam honeybunch.

Now make us all a favor and think a little before you barf your stupid thoughts out. Srsly.

;)

**~Sparklez out~**

*HUGS* <3 <3 <3
Quote:

Originally Posted by DevilWearsPrada (Post 599250)
Well if it's not yours it's pub lovers or jeanette's

I don't use coloured text for regular comments. :(

Let her be real, pls? :(

Pub Lover Dec 3rd, 2008 02:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 599303)
Oh shit! She's caught Pubitis! AKA the COOOOOTTTTTIIIIEEEESSSSS

Ranny-K! Stop spreading your tyttöbakteeri to everyone. >:


I read the mainsite, WTH? :(

Pub Lover Dec 3rd, 2008 02:33 AM


Pub Lover Dec 3rd, 2008 02:39 AM

Hey guys, pretending to be gay in real life leads to worse problems than being beaten up if the other guys pretend to be gay back. :(

Do I back down? No. Do they? No?! Oh shit... :x
Quote:

Originally Posted by pac-man (Post 599319)
I'll come. :rock

Pac-Man, stop hitting on all the ugly white chicks. You're better than that.


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