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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Dixie Dec 23rd, 2008 05:15 PM

Mother Nature just gave me a terrible Christmas present.
At least it's red so it's kind of festive.

ElPila666 Dec 23rd, 2008 05:27 PM

Whoa Hickman's back, luckily he wasn't at the argentinian army cuz they're really tough there, i hear that if you spot a bug in your soup you gotta raise your spoon and shout "viva la patria carajo" (hail the homeland) and take it proudly to your mouth, yuk

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shrubfest (Post 603722)
Please?

YOU BETTER NOT TURN OUT TO BE A GUY, BECAUSE THIS IS SO BLOODY GAY ALREADY. >:


NOT SAFE FOR EYES & MEMORIES OR EVEN MY ALREADY FUCKED UP REPUTATION:
Spoilers!

Tadao Dec 23rd, 2008 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam (Post 603723)
I HAVE A SECRET AND A JOKE, BUT I'M ONLY GOING TO TELL THEM TO SHRUBFEST BECAUSE SHE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD GET IT.

DON'T YOU DARE TELL HER ABOUT ME!

Shrubfest Dec 23rd, 2008 05:32 PM

Ah! OOoooh.

I feel so satisfied.

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 05:35 PM

:x


Yay! @ post-exibitionism regret.

Tadao Dec 23rd, 2008 05:38 PM

Pub, that looks like an office were other co-workers might sit. Kinky.

Shrubfest Dec 23rd, 2008 05:40 PM

I want clearer pictures.

Kitsa Dec 23rd, 2008 05:43 PM

CIG- didn't you just recently have a present? :/ Is something the matter?

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 05:45 PM

I want my back to stop hurting so I could do some damn situps occasionally.
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 603736)
Pub, that looks like an office were other co-workers might sit. Kinky.

I didn't even close the door. ;)

I had to close the curtains only because the glare of the sun reflected off my pale form completey blinded the webcam.
Quote:

Originally Posted by Shrubfest (Post 603737)
I want clearer pictures.

And if I had a better camera to hand, you would have them.

ElPila666 Dec 23rd, 2008 05:56 PM

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day,
you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance
But you still catch my eye
Tell me baby
Do you recognize me?
Well
It's been a year
It doesn't surprise me
Merry Christmas,
I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I love you"
and meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now
I know you'd fool me again

A crowded room
Friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you
And your soul of ice
Oh my I thought you were
Someone to rely on
Me?
I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A friend to discover with a
fire in her heart
A girl under cover but
you tore me apart
You tore me apart, ooo-ooo
Now I've found a real
love you'll never fool
me again

A friend to discover with a
fire in her heart
A girl under cover but
you tore me apart
Maybe next year,
I'll give it to someone
I'll give it to someone special.


Tadao Dec 23rd, 2008 05:57 PM

IT'S NOT MY KID CIG AND YOU CAN'T PROVE IT!

Shrubfest Dec 23rd, 2008 06:29 PM

CiG, I hate that type of present. Mini pills are my friend in this respect.

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 06:43 PM

They keep you regular?

Shrubfest Dec 23rd, 2008 06:45 PM

They stop completly. I havent had a period for about 6 months.

Bliss.

Tadao Dec 23rd, 2008 06:50 PM

Blood make a great warm lube.

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 06:58 PM

Yeah, having them actually be into you is too much of a long shot. :(


Shrub, does it also promote facial hair and clit-growth? Or does it forstall your menopause, making you immortal? :eek

Tadao Dec 23rd, 2008 07:03 PM

I have a wide wiener.

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 07:13 PM

Lets see? :(

Tadao Dec 23rd, 2008 07:17 PM

Then you'll stalk me :O

Shrubfest Dec 23rd, 2008 07:26 PM

Pub, I have no idea.

No difference to normal, that i've noticed.

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 07:29 PM

*Hugs*

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 603758)

IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW CUTE YE ARE, YE STILL GOTTA MAKE YER BED! :mom

Tadao Dec 23rd, 2008 07:33 PM

:lol

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 07:35 PM

On the offchance that photobucket decided to delete that pants pic, I decided to save it. :x

Not wanting it anywhere I went regularly, I thought it amusing to put it in my Shrub folder. :x

I was surprised and pleased to find I didn't have a Shrubfest folder. :)

But now I keep wanting to make one. >:

Shrubfest Dec 23rd, 2008 07:42 PM

Oh!I feel left out!

Tadao Dec 23rd, 2008 07:42 PM

You should make a Pants folder and put shrub pics in there :yum

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 07:44 PM

Pics of Shrub in her underpants? :eek :eek :eek


:(

Tadao Dec 23rd, 2008 07:48 PM

I wish :(

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 603774)

GOOD BOY, TADAO! NOT ONLY DID YE MAKE YER BED, BUT YE COMBED YER HAIR AS WELL! :mom

YER GETTING A SPECIAL TREAT TONIGHT! :incest

Tadao Dec 23rd, 2008 07:49 PM

I love how cavemanish it cam out. Fuck fixing my old camera, Crappy web cams are the new art.

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 603775)
I'm 24 :(

WTH? No way! Yer better start being older than that right now! >:

Ye get to be 28, and ye get to like it. >:

Shrubfest Dec 23rd, 2008 07:51 PM

Come on Tadao, you in your pants now!

Tadao Dec 23rd, 2008 07:52 PM

I just came in my pants.

kahljorn Dec 23rd, 2008 07:57 PM

I CANT AGE PUBLOVER

it just rots lol i dunno

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 07:58 PM

It must be nice to be a mildly attractive woman on a forum full of horny, ugly blokes. >:

You get to order everyone around. :eek

Shrubfest Dec 23rd, 2008 07:59 PM

Kahl, are you REALLY married?




because thats a bit scary.

kahljorn Dec 23rd, 2008 08:00 PM

lol yea I'm married.

What the hell is so scary about it?

MetalMilitia Dec 23rd, 2008 08:01 PM



Anyone notice how big kahljorn's DS is? By my calculations he only only about 2 feet tall in real life.

kahljorn Dec 23rd, 2008 08:02 PM

lol
its a laptop :(

thjats probably obvious though :(

Shrubfest Dec 23rd, 2008 08:04 PM

Its scary because you're only 4 years older than me.

And I'd still sleep with you.


Isn't marriage supposed to make you beyond redemption?

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hugh Jerection (Post 603787)

NEW FAVOURITE POSTER! :eek

HE KNOWS WHAT THE I-MOCKERY FORUMS IS ALL ABOUT ;)

kahljorn Dec 23rd, 2008 08:07 PM

do you usually sleep with old guys or something i dont get it

Shrubfest Dec 23rd, 2008 08:17 PM

No. I'm worried about my future, and the fact that you're still attractive although you are married.

Although having to spell it out is less arousing.

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 08:35 PM

Yeah Kahl, wear a burka or something. Ye're just too tempting. :orgasm

Wow, 'Slutty Burka' is a disappointing google image search. :(

Shrubfest Dec 23rd, 2008 08:52 PM

Oh. He left. Do you think his wife felt threatened.

I'm drunk. Pay no attention.

kahljorn Dec 23rd, 2008 08:55 PM

IM SUDDENLY DRUNK TOO

AND HIGH

Shrubfest Dec 23rd, 2008 09:00 PM

YAY!
I WISH I WAS HIGH!

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 09:02 PM

I wish I was happy, but I'll settle for drunk. ;(

kahljorn Dec 23rd, 2008 09:03 PM

i hate wishing i was high :(

Shrubfest Dec 23rd, 2008 09:05 PM

Well, i have all the ingredients, excepts bacci and skins....
:(

kahljorn Dec 23rd, 2008 09:06 PM

Quote:

If you had to kill yerself, how would ye do it?
Inject air into your bloodstream

Tadao Dec 23rd, 2008 09:07 PM

I'll settle for a warm cantaloupe.

kahljorn Dec 23rd, 2008 09:08 PM

i ate a pot browny type thing the other night and it was awesome :( i was stoned all night

Shrubfest Dec 23rd, 2008 09:09 PM

Inject me into your blood stream


That was witty in my mind.

Sam Dec 23rd, 2008 09:10 PM

GUYS I WISH FOR STUFF TOO. :(

kahljorn Dec 23rd, 2008 09:11 PM

sam what kinds of things do you wish for

Zomboid Dec 23rd, 2008 09:12 PM

SAM, YOU SPEND WAY TOO MUCH TIME IN THIS THREAD. I AM TELLING YOU TO TRY TO HELP YOU, BRAW.

SRSLY, YOU'RE TURNING INTO PUB

kahljorn Dec 23rd, 2008 09:13 PM

you're incredulous zomboid

Shrubfest Dec 23rd, 2008 09:14 PM

Sam, if you have bacci an skins, and you are here, I love you.



:D

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 603821)
Inject air into your bloodstream

Scared of needles. :(

Which I would overcome to:
Quote:

Originally Posted by Shrubfest (Post 603824)
Inject me into your blood stream


ElPila666 Dec 23rd, 2008 09:15 PM


Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 603821)
Inject air into your bloodstream

Yeah, I should've asked Willie for suicide ideas that a pathetic little shit could manage. :(

Sam Dec 23rd, 2008 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shrubfest (Post 603830)
Sam, if you have bacci an skins, and you are here, I love you.



:D

I CAN GET IT. :(

kahljorn Dec 23rd, 2008 09:17 PM

lol pub i was waiting for something like that :( (the thing about injecting shrub)

maybe you should just tr overeatng a bunch of pills


what are bacci an skins? it sounds like fancy bacon or something

Sam Dec 23rd, 2008 09:18 PM

IT'S NOT BACON IN POTATO SKINS WHICH IS WHAT I FIRST THOUGHT. :(

THEN I RE-READ THE CONTEXT IT WAS USED, AND IT SUDDENLY BECAME CLEAR.

kahljorn Dec 23rd, 2008 09:19 PM

I knew it wasn't gonna be that :(

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 09:19 PM

tobacco and self-roll paper ie Rizlas

Sam Dec 23rd, 2008 09:21 PM

I CAN RUN TO THE STORE, IT IS LITERALLY 100 FEET FROM WHERE I LIVE. :(

ABOUT 30 METERS (I THINK) FOR ALL YOU METRIC FOLKS. :(

Shrubfest Dec 23rd, 2008 09:21 PM

YAY! SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS!

ElPila666 Dec 23rd, 2008 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia (Post 603797)


Anyone notice how big kahljorn's DS is? By my calculations he only only about 2 feet tall in real life.

He? :tear

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 603835)
maybe you should just tr overeatng a bunch of pills

Just to show how much of a shit I am. :)

1) That didn't work. :) 2) Finding someone trying (failing) to do that sucks. :)

kahljorn Dec 23rd, 2008 09:27 PM

oh i get it

Sam Dec 23rd, 2008 09:29 PM

GUYS, I'M GOING TO GO GET DRUNK AND HIGH AND EAT BACON AND POTATO SKIN IN SOME SORT OF COMBINATION. :(

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElPila666 (Post 603841)
He? :tear

I would hope so. He has the biggest dick here. :eek

His tits are also swell. ;)

Sam Dec 23rd, 2008 09:29 PM

IF I DON'T EVER COME BACK, YOU'LL KNOW WHY. :(


kahljorn Dec 23rd, 2008 09:30 PM

Quote:

1) That didn't work. :) 2) Finding someone trying (failing) to do that sucks. :)
yea it didnt work for me either :(

have you thought of using a gun? really it's probably the next best thing to injecting yourself with air

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 09:33 PM

I don't know where to get a gun. Plus even if I found one, I doubt I could work it, or I'll end up arsefaced.

Man, nevermind I'm too much of a pussy. >:

Shrubfest Dec 23rd, 2008 09:35 PM

Move to England.
Everyones depressed here!

Tadao Dec 23rd, 2008 09:36 PM

In my bad days I came up with a way to suicide that wouldn't let any family member know it was a suicide :(

kahljorn Dec 23rd, 2008 09:36 PM

one time i had a hallucination when i did jimson weed and I met the devil and he showed me hell and it was underneath a bed and it looked like the page break picture :(

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shrubfest (Post 603852)
Move to England.
Everyones depressed here!

I moved away from England in the hopes of not being depressed anymore. ;)

Shrubfest Dec 23rd, 2008 09:41 PM

NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

THEREE IS NOTHNG BETTER! you must adjust and adapt

kahljorn Dec 23rd, 2008 09:46 PM

I"M GOING TO GO TAKE A SEXY AND STEAMY SHOWER >:

Shrubfest Dec 23rd, 2008 09:48 PM

KAHLJORN!



Now I need to go to bed....

:D

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shrubfest (Post 603857)
NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

THEREE IS NOTHNG BETTER! you must adjust and adapt

I sat in a darkened room for a year, eating oven chips, and watching the hoobs and countdown. I have no memories from that time. :eek

Maybe I remember an episode of Quincy. He was on a boat? And someone died?

Shrubfest Dec 23rd, 2008 09:54 PM

I dunno.
hoobs=i dunno
countdown=spot on for a weekday teatime!

NIGHTY NIGHT!

Kitsa Dec 23rd, 2008 10:00 PM

We opened presents tonight. I got great presents, although I think my ramones and hockey fandom is making me a bit transparent :/

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 10:00 PM

I watched the 5am repeat of countdown. The hoobs is a UK only Jim Hension muppet show that was on Channel 4 before or after countdown. I didn't have a tv license and lived in fear of the scanning van thing that never came. I slept 20+ hours a day. The only time I left the house was to go to the dole office where I would be told off until I cried, and then I would drink until I didnt care that I was vomitting all over myself.

Yay, the memories are flooding back. :blah

10,000 Volt Ghost Dec 23rd, 2008 10:02 PM

Cheer up or cherub.

Kitsa Dec 23rd, 2008 10:04 PM

British TV > American TV

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 10:05 PM

It is Christmas eve here & I'll be as miserable as I want. >:

BTW Ghost, did you say you were bisexual? PLZ POST A PIC OF YOU IN YER UNDERPANTS PLZ! :)

Tadao Dec 23rd, 2008 10:05 PM

No way, Cheers was way better than The Young Ones

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 603865)
British TV > American TV

I imagine you get a filtered vision of British TV, My Dear Lady. ;)

Much like my vision of US tele.

Although I did see an infomercial featuring Mister T the other day. Poor Guy.

Kitsa Dec 23rd, 2008 10:19 PM

my experience is not limited to public television, thanks >:(

I remember seeing some really fucked-up TV on the continent. In Italy, there was a game show where there were these three naked ladies and the (male) contestants had so many seconds to find matching pieces of lingerie in a big bin and dress them.

In Germany I stumbled across a charming production of Heidi in which she boffed everyone but the goat.

Tadao Dec 23rd, 2008 10:21 PM

The Axis of evil is not good television. Especially Japan.

Tadao Dec 23rd, 2008 10:32 PM

Drunk dedications are teh best.

Pub Lover Dec 23rd, 2008 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 603869)
my experience is not limited to public television, thanks >:(


yes well yer nation is filled with retards and morons and no matter how much ya protest ye'll always be a retard an moron to me ;)

merry christmas :)

Kitsa Dec 23rd, 2008 10:39 PM

sod off :)

Tadao Dec 23rd, 2008 10:58 PM



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