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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

kahljorn Aug 7th, 2009 03:21 AM

no but there's something wrong with being a wet nurse, especially if you're a man!

RaNkeri Aug 7th, 2009 11:55 AM

yeah. oh yeah.

bacon bbq pizza

yeah

Dimnos Aug 7th, 2009 12:02 PM

Chorizo and egg burrito!

Kitsa Aug 7th, 2009 12:05 PM

Nothing yet :(

BUT JALAPENO AND CHEESE TAMALES LATER, HELL YEAH

RaNkeri Aug 7th, 2009 12:06 PM

I'M DRINKING PEPSI MAX GUYS! :eek

TO THE MAX!

Dixie Aug 7th, 2009 12:11 PM

Where the fuck is my birthday thread? I demand a sacrifice.

10,000 Volt Ghost Aug 7th, 2009 12:12 PM

ALWAYS THROW UP WHEN I DRINK PEPSI MAX :x

RaNkeri Aug 7th, 2009 12:13 PM

pussy :rolleyes

10,000 Volt Ghost Aug 7th, 2009 12:17 PM

That's why I drink whiskey straight instead.

Zhukov Aug 7th, 2009 12:25 PM

I just drank Dr. Pepper from a glass bottle.


I HAVEN'T SEEN DR. PEPPER IN A DECADE.

Dimnos Aug 7th, 2009 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 640522)
JALAPENO AND CHEESE TAMALES

:orgasm


:orgasm

Aaarg Aug 7th, 2009 03:29 PM

dr pepper is the only soda i'll drink.

Kitsa Aug 7th, 2009 04:15 PM

I wish I could still find caffeine free dr. pepper. It sounds really good.

I just made fresh pico de gallo almost entirely out of stuff from my own garden. It looks good, hope it tastes good.

Dimnos Aug 7th, 2009 04:19 PM

If you get a can of caffeine free Dr Pepper and stick it in a fridge and let it set for a year it gets REALLY good.

Esuohlim Aug 7th, 2009 04:45 PM

Are you talking about how it gets all syrupy? Hell yes.

Dimnos Aug 7th, 2009 04:57 PM

Im not sure exactly what it does other that gets really good.

Kitsa Aug 7th, 2009 06:16 PM

I ran into some Dr. Pepper hard candy at Big Lots and I thought it would be all awesome but it was horrible :(

I use Dr. Pepper flavored lipgloss on a regular basis.

10,000 Volt Ghost Aug 7th, 2009 06:55 PM

I'm off to Nashville! Do what now?

Kitsa Aug 7th, 2009 06:59 PM

My parents enjoyed their vacation there but I can't remember any details.

elx Aug 8th, 2009 05:30 AM

nashville is lame

Zhukov Aug 8th, 2009 08:06 AM

Where are you from Elx?

MarioRPG Aug 8th, 2009 01:45 PM

I went to a midnight showing of Dead Alive and won a copy of "Black Sunday".
It was an amazing time.

RaNkeri Aug 8th, 2009 04:55 PM

I wonder, is the American Gladiators' title of "Grand Champion" something you could mention in your CV?

RaNkeri Aug 8th, 2009 04:57 PM

man, Todd Christensen has/had a sexy mullet, grrr

Aaarg Aug 8th, 2009 06:09 PM

all right so i'm obsessed with a song i've known for years. it only very recently hit me as being an abso-fucking-lutely amazing song.

and that's "TUNDRA/DESERT" by modest mouse.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOuXm2EHaMo

even if you're not feeling the beginning, hold out until the 1:30 mark for when the levee breaks (not a ledzep reference) and the song becomes fucking chaotic, being set off with "aaaaw shit!"

RaNkeri Aug 8th, 2009 06:21 PM

They're showing Creepshow on TV in 15 minutes. Is it worth watching?

Tadao Aug 8th, 2009 06:40 PM

Yes

RaNkeri Aug 8th, 2009 06:42 PM

Yeah.

A zombie just killed a woman while demanding for cake.

Definitely worth watching.

Kitsa Aug 8th, 2009 07:14 PM

Funny Craigslist MJ rant:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best...254029009.html

That "limited edition Michael Jackson lithograph" infomercial has been creeping me out for some time. You know, how they have the shrine of roses and all that. I mean, seriously?

RaNkeri Aug 8th, 2009 08:32 PM

Great movie, "The Crate" was my favorite.
Is it just me or does anybody else think it was pretty Lovecraftian?

elx Aug 9th, 2009 12:07 PM

even with all of the crap airports make us go through they are still unsafe:(

my brother managed to smuggle a case of cuban cigars and a vintage hunting knife into his carry on from brazil to miami to atlanta, just to prove a point to his girlfriend.

Zhukov Aug 9th, 2009 12:48 PM

You wouldn't be able to try that stuff getting into Australia.

As Stever Irwin used to say everyday on TV; "Quarrantine matters, don't muck with it."

Random airport security questions: "Do you have any bees or bee keeping equipment? Have you been to a farm in the last week? Do you have any fish? Do you have any fish oils or other products?"

And if you have any of these things you get sent to Nauru.

Aaarg Aug 9th, 2009 01:02 PM

Haha, that's awesome. Trying to avoid the rabbit problem again, eh?

captain516 Aug 9th, 2009 02:22 PM


Kitsa Aug 9th, 2009 04:00 PM

Cane toads too...

Do they still spray that awful insecticide shit on people in the cabin?

DevilWearsPrada Aug 9th, 2009 04:26 PM

My mom and her husband somehow got 6+ hookahs and a pakistani ornate sword past customs and into the U.S. :(

Tadao Aug 9th, 2009 04:39 PM

Are those contraband? I don't think they are.

Dixie Aug 9th, 2009 06:52 PM

They banned Contra?
FUCK

Sam Aug 9th, 2009 06:54 PM

I LOVE PLAYING CONTRA

SHIT

Kitsa Aug 9th, 2009 07:49 PM

my dad flew into South Africa at about the same time Mandela was released from jail, and they confiscated his camera at the airport. All we saw of South Africa was via postcards, as in, "The view from my hotel sort of looks like this."

Zhukov Aug 10th, 2009 04:08 AM

It's not so much rabbit or cane toad sized animals that they are looking out for, it's the microscopic bacteria or insects that are worse. It seems that any sort of crop destroying organism thrives like crazy in Australia.

Kitsa, I don't think anyone gets sprayed for staying in log cabins, but you do get sprayed at the airport if you are from Eastern Europe or South America.

Zhukov Aug 10th, 2009 04:11 AM

OH, the cabin of the plane. :/ Uh, no.

Kitsa Aug 10th, 2009 08:59 AM

My mom is the American liaison for an Australian company and my dad's company deals a lot with Australia, so there are a lot of miles racked up between here and there.

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 10th, 2009 11:07 AM

hi people *waves* they lifted the firewall at work AND i finally got the wireless card for my laptop at home so IM BACK.

try not to be too excited.

Colonel Flagg Aug 10th, 2009 01:11 PM

... and there was much rejoicing ....

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 10th, 2009 01:14 PM

nope no rejoicing. except for me, who is glad that she can entertain herself during work again.

Kitsa Aug 10th, 2009 01:36 PM

Anyway, here's a cheery website to pass the time.

http://www.executedtoday.com/

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 10th, 2009 01:37 PM

www.reallyawkward.com is my new favorite :)

Colonel Flagg Aug 10th, 2009 02:00 PM

GREAT WEBSITE KITSA! :)

Edit - DBD, not to ignore your contribution, but I can't view it from work. :( looks quite interesting, from the text anyway ....

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 10th, 2009 02:14 PM

stupid firewalls.

Dimnos Aug 10th, 2009 03:29 PM

The LOL swazi?!

Spoilers!

DevilWearsPrada Aug 10th, 2009 03:30 PM

anime hitler

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 10th, 2009 03:49 PM

found this in my wallet last week. i work for an Israeli company, so the irony is amazing:

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 10th, 2009 04:05 PM

oh and i gave this bill as change for a $20 to one of my (Israeli) coworkers, who thought it was hysterical and walked around screaming "WHITE POWER!!!!!" all day.

yes i told her before i handed it over.

Aaarg Aug 10th, 2009 04:25 PM

somebody asked me to identify a tree and i guessed and i was right.

and it wasn't even one we learned in my dendrology class. it was on the list of ones to learn, but we didn't get around to finding them.

i think i somehow recalled my ex-girlfriend saying "oh, a catalpa" as we passed one a long time ago.

SWEET.

Colonel Flagg Aug 10th, 2009 04:49 PM

This buys you about 2-3 weeks of believable bullshit before someone calls you on it. Use this power only for good. :)

Aaarg Aug 10th, 2009 05:11 PM

BS about trees, I guess. :(

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 10th, 2009 06:31 PM

what genius is sitting around going "hmmm, how can i impress these people on i-mockery?!?!?!? I KNOW!!! I'll pretend i know alot about.............TREES!!! that'll get 'em"

cause, you know, dendrology is like rocket science, only with trees.

wait, dendrology is a real word? no way.

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 10th, 2009 06:32 PM

on a different note, i just heard the dumbest thing ever at work:

Customer: "so, you're gonna email me something, and then i have to fax it back? WAIT how can i fax it back if it's in my email?!??!?!? oh, wait............."

Kitsa Aug 10th, 2009 06:41 PM

I think my mom would lose a basic snake survival test. She went to a zoo where they had nonvenomous and venomous side by side with a sign explaining how to spot the differences between them.

On her photos, she's labeled a copperhead as an eastern milk snake and a coral snake as a Sinoloan milk snake. The good news (I guess) is that she also labeled an eastern milk snake as an eastern milk snake and a Sinoloan milk snake as a Sinoloan milk snake. I think if I wasn't sure I would have gone with the opposite.

She's a rampant killer of snakes despite all my best efforts. A copperhead struck at her once and that was it...all snakes were as good as dead in her book.

Aaarg Aug 10th, 2009 07:07 PM

i don't pretend i know a lot about trees. i took a dendrology class two years ago and i had a lucky guess on identifying a tree.

i'm not trying to impress anybody, this is just how boring my life is.

yes dendrology is a real word and it's a very important class for anybody in a natural resources program at school.

The Leader Aug 10th, 2009 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dirtyxblondexdame (Post 640964)
what genius is sitting around going "hmmm, how can i impress these people on i-mockery?!?!?!? I KNOW!!! I'll pretend i know alot about.............TREES!!! that'll get 'em"

cause, you know, dendrology is like rocket science, only with trees.

wait, dendrology is a real word? no way.

I don't like this person. :(

Shyandquietguy Aug 10th, 2009 08:08 PM

Hey guys, I am thinking of applying for a dead body job. I plan on practicing Igro lines and tease the co-workers about them having sex with the bodies 24/7.

P.S. "Yeah man I can step out. Dead bodies, right? From the cemetary? Yeah, no problem man."

Colonel Flagg Aug 10th, 2009 08:31 PM

Sex with the dead .... don't knock it 'til you've tried it.

Dixie Aug 10th, 2009 09:15 PM

I'm pretty sure my last lay could have been declared dead.

Aaarg Aug 10th, 2009 09:51 PM

I had a sex dream the other night and in it, the girl was bored.

That's how dead my sex life currently is. It's not even decent in my dreams.

Shyandquietguy Aug 10th, 2009 10:27 PM

Maybe it's time for drastic measures? Ever try fire sex? You have to penetrate as fast as you can as you are doused by live embers.

Tadao Aug 11th, 2009 04:09 AM


Kitsa Aug 11th, 2009 09:48 AM

So this magazine stole some of my artwork off the internet and published it and never told me; I heard from one of their readers.

I wrote the magazine.

They want to know my address so they can tell me how much a copy will cost me.

Now them's balls.

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 11th, 2009 10:22 AM

just got out of a meeting, please tell me why i had to come in 2 hours early to listen to my boss talk about recycling plastic bags and how to upload videos on facebook?!?!?!?

*headdesk*

Colonel Flagg Aug 11th, 2009 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 641069)
So this magazine stole some of my artwork off the internet and published it and never told me; I heard from one of their readers.

I wrote the magazine.

They want to know my address so they can tell me how much a copy will cost me.

Now them's balls.

Wow. They're either bold and confident, or just clueless. I'm betting the latter.

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 11th, 2009 10:51 AM

http://thechive.com/2009/08/10-reaso...rn/#more-47256

http://thechive.com/2009/08/9-reason...os/#more-46569

edit: 1st link is "Reasons it would rule to date a unicorn"
2nd link is "Reasons it would suck to date a T-Rex"

Zhukov Aug 11th, 2009 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 641069)
So this magazine stole some of my artwork off the internet and published it and never told me; I heard from one of their readers.

I wrote the magazine.

They want to know my address so they can tell me how much a copy will cost me.

Now them's balls.

It seems nothing goes right for you Kitsa :(

I hope you throw the book at them.

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 11th, 2009 11:15 AM

i booked a $12,000 move last week. move went fine, management was thrilled with me.............

...............untill the customer called up with $75,000 worth of damage.

D'oh.

The Leader Aug 11th, 2009 12:40 PM

dirtyxblondexdame, we don't care about your life. Stop trying.

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 11th, 2009 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Leader (Post 641095)
dirtyxblondexdame, we don't care about your life. Stop trying.

when i want your opinion, i'll ask for it

Tadao Aug 11th, 2009 12:52 PM

:pagebrak

The Leader Aug 11th, 2009 12:54 PM

Now look what you've done.

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 11th, 2009 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Leader (Post 641101)
Now look what you've done.


nuh uh YOU DID IT :P

Tadao Aug 11th, 2009 01:34 PM

Rose, I hope you're wearing something sensible for this telephone call. Yes, it always makes me very nervous to think I might be talking to a miniskirt.

Kitsa Aug 11th, 2009 01:40 PM

holy fuck when did Tadao turn into Hyacinth

Colonel Flagg Aug 11th, 2009 01:41 PM

Within the last 15 minutes, it seems ...

Colonel Flagg Aug 11th, 2009 01:42 PM

Damn, this salsa is disappointment in a glass jar. Serves me right for buying a brand name. :x

Kitsa Aug 11th, 2009 01:44 PM

I make my own, sucka. No disappointment that way!

Dimnos Aug 11th, 2009 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Leader (Post 641101)
Now look what you've done.When I want to hear about the doldrums of your day Ill ask for them. >:

Come on man. Dont get soft on us now.

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 11th, 2009 02:27 PM

my days are pretty boring :(

Tadao Aug 11th, 2009 03:32 PM

Eunice Kennedy Shriver dies at 88

http://www.bizjournals.com/sacrament...0/daily18.html

:( :tear

Sam Aug 11th, 2009 03:48 PM

YEAH THELEADER, YOU GOTTA STAY HARD WHEN YOU DEAL WITH THESE BROADS

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 11th, 2009 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam (Post 641134)
YEAH THELEADER, YOU GOTTA STAY HARD WHEN YOU DEAL WITH THESE BROADS

*rolls eyes* yeah he really told me

Dimnos Aug 11th, 2009 04:16 PM

That is what we are saying. If he is going to start something he needs to stick to it. Where is the follow through?

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 11th, 2009 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dimnos (Post 641146)
That is what we are saying. If he is going to start something he needs to stick to it. Where is the follow through?

oh. i'm dumb. thanks for clarification :lol

Tadao Aug 11th, 2009 04:36 PM

QUIT QUOTING THINGS THAT A POSTED JUST ABOVE YOU!

Tadao Aug 11th, 2009 04:37 PM

it's silly

elx Aug 11th, 2009 04:47 PM

knock knock

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 11th, 2009 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 641150)
QUIT QUOTING THINGS THAT A POSTED JUST ABOVE YOU!

shut it

Esuohlim Aug 11th, 2009 05:35 PM

Why did you start posting here again

RaNkeri Aug 11th, 2009 05:35 PM

Just came back from the Freshmen party. There are a ton of great people in my class and I had a great day. Can hardly wait 'till tomorrow.

dirtyxblondexdame Aug 11th, 2009 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 641156)
Why did you start posting here again

why not?

Dimnos Aug 11th, 2009 05:49 PM

After sexing it up with T she thought it would be nice to get to know him.

Dixie Aug 11th, 2009 05:55 PM

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I get it now
:lol2


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