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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Aaarg Sep 8th, 2009 10:18 PM

I was going to draw you a picture asshole. FUCK U.

Kitsa Sep 8th, 2009 10:23 PM

That was some damn good blackberry cobbler. Except, why they gotta make blackberries with seeds? :(

Pub Lover Sep 8th, 2009 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aimless (Post 646736)
it said "die"... if there had been an "i hate myself and want to" or even "i want to" that would have been a different story.

Maybe he was channeling a german ghost and you didn't let him finish the sentence. :(

Kitsa Sep 8th, 2009 10:27 PM

Pub Lover made a bilingual funny.

Pub Lover Sep 8th, 2009 11:03 PM

Just don't ask me what other German words I know, because just like in bed, I'll come up short. :(

executioneer Sep 9th, 2009 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 646751)
That was some damn good blackberry cobbler. Except, why they gotta make blackberries with seeds? :(

to punish you for trying to enjoy yourself :( NATURE IS CRUEL

Dixie Sep 9th, 2009 10:08 AM

I have a real date tonight.
With someone who isn't married, and he doesn't have a girlfriend either.
AREN'T YOU GUYS PROUD OF MEEEE?

executioneer Sep 9th, 2009 10:16 AM

SURE

Dixie Sep 9th, 2009 10:20 AM

I expected more encouragement.
:(

Colonel Flagg Sep 9th, 2009 10:27 AM

I'm proud of you Dix. :)

I'm also a suckup. :\

executioneer Sep 9th, 2009 10:54 AM

i'm just always jealous of daters so i tend to be less than enthusiastic :(

I SHOULDA KEPT MY ATTITUDE UP MY BUTT WHERE IT BELONGS

Fathom Zero Sep 9th, 2009 11:53 AM

I's happy. I already told you so! 60 yr. old men are my weakness, too.

Kitsa Sep 9th, 2009 12:17 PM

Got to sit next to a raving meth-head in the pharmacy as I was waiting for a refill. At least, I'm pretty sure he was a meth-head based on others I've seen. That was fun.

He was going up to everyone and babbling about how great massage chairs are.

executioneer Sep 9th, 2009 12:36 PM

how bad were his teeth

Kitsa Sep 9th, 2009 12:40 PM

Didn't see his teeth but the smell rolling off him was not good.

Dixie Sep 9th, 2009 12:45 PM

Hey, this one is only 44! I haven't dated anyone older than 50 yet.

And Kitsa, those massage chairs can be pretty awesome even without meth.

Fathom Zero Sep 9th, 2009 12:55 PM

:P

And they're wayyyyyyyyy better with meth. Trust me. ;)

Zhukov Sep 9th, 2009 01:09 PM

Saw a lady at work today wider than she was tall, mullet, no teeth, pink cardigan, fake denim leggings, leg warmers instead of socks, and sandles.

Immediately thought of you Kitsa, and also my lack of camera.

Kitsa Sep 9th, 2009 01:15 PM

why did you immediately think of me? :( I'm not that bad off yet.

Zhukov Sep 9th, 2009 01:23 PM

I thought of you in that you would have liked to have seen her.

Kitsa Sep 9th, 2009 01:26 PM

Ohhhh. Yes, that's true.

My mother said she saw someone today walking around with a giant 3XL sticker stuck to their butt.

Zhukov Sep 9th, 2009 01:30 PM

I recently bought some new work trousers, khaki ones with large pockets and knee pads. You can get them in size 132, I am size 92.

Who, with a trouser size of 132, would be doing enough work to warrant work trousers?

Tadao Sep 9th, 2009 03:23 PM

Where is Finland lately?


Dimnos Sep 9th, 2009 03:40 PM

Isnt he busy feeling up cadavers or something?

The Leader Sep 9th, 2009 03:40 PM

My mother has started pronouncing it like him. :/

Kitsa Sep 9th, 2009 04:11 PM

I have some Canadian short story book that had a story about a kid with "diabeetis". I remember the other kids taunting her and calling her "Fart! Fart! Diabeetic fart!"

That's what I always think of when I think of diabeetis.

Tadao Sep 9th, 2009 04:13 PM

I wonder if their farts smell like candy.

The Leader Sep 9th, 2009 04:13 PM

I'm so sorry. :(

Kitsa Sep 9th, 2009 04:14 PM

No, but if there are a lot of ketones, urine can smell funny.

Tadao Sep 9th, 2009 06:34 PM

So, I'm sitting outside smoking a ciggerette and watching bees do flower things. It's a normal part of my day. I also start thinking about when I was a little kid, like 4th grade, and how I would do painful things to my arm to freak the other kids out. Then I start wondering if I can withstand most pain than most. Then I think about all the emotional pain I have shrugged off all these years. Then I look at a flower and notice I don't really see the beauty in it, I just avoid seeing the fact that it is dying.

Pub Lover Sep 9th, 2009 06:38 PM

<3

Fathom Zero Sep 9th, 2009 06:39 PM

You wouldn't be able to stand it if you saw it.

Wiffles Sep 9th, 2009 06:44 PM

talk about super cynical o.o

Shrubfest Sep 9th, 2009 06:46 PM

Do you write poems?

Tadao Sep 9th, 2009 07:01 PM

A poem would only make it gayer.

The Leader Sep 9th, 2009 07:16 PM

I love you Tadao. In a totally non-sexual manner.

Guess which part was a lie.

Tadao Sep 9th, 2009 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Leader (Post 646945)
Guess which part was a lie.

That part :x

The Leader Sep 9th, 2009 07:32 PM

You got me.

Pub Lover Sep 10th, 2009 12:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dixie (Post 646821)
I have a real date tonight.
With someone who isn't married, and he doesn't have a girlfriend either.

Hey, this one is only 44! I haven't dated anyone older than 50 yet.

What is so wrong with him that no woman would have him? :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 647043)
Yeah, I gotta agree. It looks more for the people that need an analogue for a cigarette, something to hold between their fingers.

Cocks! :)

Pub Lover Sep 10th, 2009 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 647139)
I think I must be the only person on the planet who isn't all giddy over Tom Waits.

And I'm not impressed by the Ramones. Opinions are fun. :(

Kitsa Sep 10th, 2009 02:44 PM

Isn't it nice when we all like different things?


I had a woman come up to me today and announce that she almost died when she had her baby. She said she had 5 pints of blood and 450+ stitches. I was trying to imagine a scenario in which 450+ stitches would make sense. Anyway, what the hell do you say to something like that? "Oh. Oh, wow."

Pub Lover Sep 10th, 2009 02:47 PM

"Can I see the scar?" :(

Kitsa Sep 10th, 2009 02:49 PM

450 stitches is a lot of stitches. That baby would have had to explode out of her like in Alien or something.

Just for reference, Rodney Fox (mauled by a Great White) received 462 stitches.

Otto Sep 10th, 2009 03:20 PM

Maybe she gave birth to the baby from "It's Alive!" and it mauled her?

Pub Lover Sep 10th, 2009 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 646726)
You guys blew him away ;_;

Looks like someone couldn't handle the idiot-rage from that post. :(
Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 647209)
How did I ever miss that picture of CIG?

You're a newb, noob. :(

Tadao Sep 10th, 2009 03:39 PM

I handled it very well I think.

Kitsa Sep 10th, 2009 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otto (Post 647211)
Maybe she gave birth to the baby from "It's Alive!" and it mauled her?

Definite possibility.


Pub Lover Sep 10th, 2009 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 647217)
I handled it very well I think.

It wasn't you or Dr. Boogie that deleted it though. :(

Tadao Sep 10th, 2009 04:00 PM

Ah! I see now. :tear

Tadao Sep 10th, 2009 04:13 PM

My mommy used to cut my peanut butter sandwich into the shape of a T.

Pub Lover Sep 10th, 2009 04:16 PM


Tadao Sep 10th, 2009 04:16 PM

:o

Aaarg Sep 10th, 2009 04:16 PM

mine would cut sandwiches into quarters diagonally and i'd take a bite out of each one before continuing.

Dixie Sep 10th, 2009 04:17 PM

There's nothing wrong with the dude I went out with last night.
He and his girl broke up recently.
We had a good time last night, he was very much a gentleman.
:)

Tadao Sep 10th, 2009 04:19 PM

Take it to loveline, no one cares here.

Dixie Sep 10th, 2009 04:25 PM

Pub asked.

Aaarg Sep 10th, 2009 04:29 PM

Pub asked, but Tad commanded.

Pub Lover Sep 10th, 2009 04:31 PM

Pub will read it wherever you happen to reply to him.

Tadao Sep 10th, 2009 04:35 PM

I had to say it or else Aaaarg might type in caps at me again :tear

Aaarg Sep 10th, 2009 04:40 PM

no way buddy i'm so mellow i'm typing in no-caps again.

Pub Lover Sep 10th, 2009 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 647250)
Anyways, here's an email I got today.
Quote:

hi...you like to hear others interests...well i am interested in jesus...what are you interested in?

Even nuns have more interests than just Jesus, King of The Jews. :(

However, sex is rarely one of them, I hear. :(

MajorScales Sep 10th, 2009 05:37 PM

I bet nuns rub one out on occasion :)

Pub Lover Sep 10th, 2009 05:39 PM

Not in mixed company, I'm sure. :(

Fathom Zero Sep 10th, 2009 06:14 PM

In mixed company, especially.

Dixie Sep 10th, 2009 06:39 PM

So I'm volunteering at the science museum Saturday for BugFest.
My job is going to be at the "Interactive Playground" and I'm working with someone/something called Cameron the Caterpillar.......
We shall see how this goes.

Tadao Sep 10th, 2009 06:43 PM

I want to visit your interactive playground

Dixie Sep 10th, 2009 07:22 PM

No, you just want to visit Dixie's Love Shack

Fathom Zero Sep 10th, 2009 07:27 PM

Dixie's Love Cock

LordSappington Sep 10th, 2009 07:31 PM

I got into the most anti-climatic fight ever today in school. This kid I know through my friends went into a bathroom stall, so I threw some dry paper towels at his head and walked out. Not odd for my friend group at all; just a joke.
At the end of lunch, I ran into him, and he started screaming at me, and shoving me, and basically yelling 'WHAT'RE YOU GONNA FUCKING DO?!'
So, after the fifth shove, and he still wouldn't elaborate, I decided 'Whoa, fuck this.' and kicked him in the nuts. Hard. When he bent over in pain, I gave him an uppercut to his face, and just walked off.
So, do nut shots count as a win? I mean, the guy's a good six inches taller than me, and obviously has serious anger issues, so I think it's sort of fair.

Pub Lover Sep 10th, 2009 07:38 PM

"That's my purse!" :pac-man

Guitar Woman Sep 10th, 2009 07:39 PM

He sounds like a great person

Ploxtrot Sep 10th, 2009 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordSappington (Post 647284)
So, do nut shots count as a win? I mean, the guy's a good six inches taller than me, and obviously has serious anger issues, so I think it's sort of fair.

No, that's against the rules and you should be disqualified from any fights you enter.

Pub Lover Sep 10th, 2009 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wiffles (Post 647261)
I think it would be safe to say that I live in Pub's basement :)

Get a cock, and then we'll talk. <3
Quote:

Originally Posted by MajorScales (Post 647294)
I kinda doubt they have basements in NZ...he might have you tied up in a closet, that they call a dingaroo room or a Wallaby hamper.

What the heck is so gosh darn complicated about basements that would prevent the local shed-makers sticking one in? :(

As a matter of fact I do have a basement. It is a hole under the house used by the local Marries to clear the indoors long drop.

Tadao Sep 10th, 2009 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowardC (Post 647291)
Nearly all of the Misfits songs have been covered by Metallica, including Die Die Die My Darling. The Metallica versions are also vastly superior. I hate to knock the Misfits, because they are a very creative band, but let's face it, Danzig can't sing and the rest of the band can't play. The Metallica versions have crisp, intelligable lyrics and sharp, complex guitar work that make for a far more enjoyable listen. And for the record, except for that odd few months when they were going to a therapist (St. Anger) Metallica has NEVER and will NEVER suck.

I'm not a fan of this album at all. Sounds like most misfit albums, namely a drugged up alcoholic mumbling and screaming while the rest of the band seemly plays as irratic and badly as possible. And before you ask yes, I AM a fan of punk. The problem is it's more of a concert medium and doesn't translate well to an album.

I would recommend instead you buy Metallica's "Garage Days" album. It contains two of the songs listed as well as some motorhead and other covers.

This makes me wanna get banned.

Tadao Sep 10th, 2009 09:19 PM

I can feel the hate rise :(

Tadao Sep 10th, 2009 09:20 PM



It's like my throat is full of vile acid and I either have to spit it in his face or swallow it and ruin my day.

Aimless Sep 10th, 2009 09:22 PM

you're so hot, tadao.

executioneer Sep 10th, 2009 09:23 PM

TADAO I GAVE HIM WHAT FOR FOR YOU

Tadao Sep 10th, 2009 09:23 PM

OMG I'm gonna puke.

Tadao Sep 10th, 2009 09:23 PM

This demon in me is hard to keep down. :(

Tadao Sep 10th, 2009 09:27 PM

Thanks Willie, I remember when ride the lightning came out and I was shunned for still blaring Mercyful Fate. I liked evil and Metallica was far from it.

LordSappington Sep 10th, 2009 10:10 PM

I laugh a little when people tell me how brutal Metallica is.

Tadao Sep 10th, 2009 10:31 PM

Sharp and electric, yeah. Evil and brutal, no.

Zhukov Sep 10th, 2009 10:32 PM

You seriously upper-cutted him to the face? That's hilarious. As for teste kicks..., if you felt that the situation warranted it, then go ahead. I wouldn't go doing it everytime someone got in your face though.

You might get a nickname. Or people will start thinking that you like rubbing your feet on balls.

Tadao Sep 10th, 2009 10:37 PM

In my world, you stop someone from getting in your face with whatever it takes. The upper cut manned it up a lot, but the ball kick lets him know that there is a lot at stake when he gets in your face.

LordSappington Sep 10th, 2009 10:50 PM

No, no. I only did it because, honestly, I was a little freaked out; this guy was flipping way the fuck out, and I could tell that he was going into a full adrenaline rush. I think that if he got a few swings in, he would have started going nuts, and I'd get the shit beaten out of me.
And yeah, the uppercut was kind of spur-of-the-moment. He doubled way over when I hit him in the balls, and I guess it was a reflex.

Colonel Flagg Sep 10th, 2009 10:53 PM

Good going, Sappy. Watch your back for the next couple weeks, though.

LordSappington Sep 10th, 2009 10:55 PM

Oh, he doesn't have any friends. He creeps the girls out, he's a douchebag to the guys, and nobody can stand him. One of his teachers locked him out of the classroom when he went to the bathroom.

Colonel Flagg Sep 10th, 2009 11:03 PM

All the same, eyes open!

Chojin Sep 10th, 2009 11:40 PM

dear diary

tonight i watched harry potter on our new tv with this chick, then had some great sex, then we immediately went back to watching harry potter

strictly business

10 points for griffindor

Sam Sep 10th, 2009 11:44 PM

YOU LIAR

YOU DIDN'T WATCH HARRY POTTER >:

Chojin Sep 10th, 2009 11:47 PM

i was rollin wit da wizzads, yo

Chojin Sep 11th, 2009 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 647358)
You seriously upper-cutted him to the face? That's hilarious. As for teste kicks..., if you felt that the situation warranted it, then go ahead. I wouldn't go doing it everytime someone got in your face though.

You might get a nickname. Or people will start thinking that you like rubbing your feet on balls.


Tadao Sep 11th, 2009 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 647377)
dear diary

tonight i watched harry potter on our new tv with this chick, then had some great sex, then we immediately went back to watching harry potter

strictly business

10 points for griffindor

Are you sure it wasn't a Hairy Pooper movie?

Chojin Sep 11th, 2009 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 647388)
Are you sure it wasn't a Hairy Pooper movie?

it was no Wizard People, i tell you what


executioneer Sep 11th, 2009 12:34 AM

i wish he'd do another movie :( not necessarily H.P. but the same sorta thing

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2009 12:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordSappington (Post 647354)
I laugh a little when people tell me how brutal Metallica is.

I preferred your last avatar. :(

This one is cute, though. :(

I just have a thing for chicks in glasses? :(

I may have liked you more, Sapps. :(

You're a great guy without my appreciation though. :(

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2009 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shyandquietguy (Post 647339)
NO ONE FUCKING LIKES ME!! FUCK THIS SHIT!!

I like ya. :(
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 647324)

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Leader (Post 647373)
CATS CAN'T FLY >:

The thing I found scary was my response was "HAWT", I really hope it was just the uniform I liked. :(

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2009 01:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 647331)
Last edited by Tadao : Sep 11th, 2009 at 01:34 PM.

You're one of the good ones, T. :(

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2009 01:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer (Post 647391)
i wish he'd do another movie :( not necessarily H.P. but the same sorta thing

What would you suggest? Because that does sound good. :(


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