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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Pub Lover Sep 20th, 2009 09:18 PM

:pagebrak

Tadao Sep 20th, 2009 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 649238)
We're too racist for him. :(

I wish that was it, I fear something bad happened and he can't get to the internet right now. :(

darqmommy Sep 21st, 2009 01:20 AM

chat?

darqmommy Sep 21st, 2009 01:22 AM

ah, i have heard of these "Chat rooms." i am familiar with the procedure.
ahem...

Attention, gentlemen! i am a very attractive blonde girl with loads of free time!

darqmommy Sep 21st, 2009 01:25 AM

that went really well.

Fathom Zero Sep 21st, 2009 01:31 AM

huh wuh yeah mhmm

Dixie Sep 21st, 2009 02:18 AM

i'm making bad decisions again......
fuck it.
i wish i could drag one of you down this road with me

Fathom Zero Sep 21st, 2009 02:24 AM

Aramis is my favourite Musketeer.

Tadao Sep 21st, 2009 03:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dixie (Post 649267)
i'm making bad decisions again......
fuck it.
i wish i could drag one of you down this road with me

Don't get shot by some bitch.

Kitsa Sep 21st, 2009 09:46 AM

that's funny because the first thing I thought of was, "do Dixie gotta choke a bitch?"

MarioRPG Sep 21st, 2009 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 649270)
Aramis is my favourite Musketeer.

Is he the one that wanted to be a church guy,

Fathom Zero Sep 21st, 2009 12:27 PM

Most would call them priests, but yeah.

Guitar Woman Sep 21st, 2009 12:48 PM

Too much of a horndog.

He's my favorite too :<

Fathom Zero Sep 21st, 2009 01:06 PM

:3

Colonel Flagg Sep 21st, 2009 01:42 PM

Funny how he wanted to be a priest in the Dumas story, yet his name is branded as a cologne (for the ladies).

Dixie Sep 21st, 2009 02:10 PM

no married guys this week
this week i'm just getting completely wasted everyday all day til saturday comes.
dixie is a wastoid.
RESIN BALLLLLLLLLLLLL

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 21st, 2009 02:27 PM

On saturday are you just to drink too though? I'm all for it.

Dixie Sep 21st, 2009 02:31 PM

saturday i will be experimenting with some uppers to keep me awake through 2 shows.
i drink AFTER work saturday

Tadao Sep 21st, 2009 02:41 PM

I got you uppers right here baby

Dixie Sep 21st, 2009 02:47 PM

you wish

Tadao Sep 21st, 2009 02:52 PM

I do, and you can snort one off my boner.

Pub Lover Sep 21st, 2009 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 649290)
Did anyone ever tell you a stupid lie that was obviously bullshit, but you had no idea why they told it?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 649315)
I knew a guy like that. Then one day he said he was going to become a priest to perform exorcisms and hunt vampires. Didn't talk to him much after that. No reason to.

I'm an Habitual Liar, some of the time the things I hear myself saying are hilariously impossible and I'm lucky to have encountered a lot of people that agreed. Frequently I find my lying unhelpful and annoying, and I've met some people that agree to that view, but they are boring and unimaginative and no fun at all.

...I'm lying. :(

Dixie Sep 21st, 2009 02:55 PM

I don't think a penis would be a good surface for a beginner

Fathom Zero Sep 21st, 2009 03:11 PM

Dude, that's expert level.

Tadao Sep 21st, 2009 03:15 PM

Like you guys have never had your nose against a penis before! :rolleyes

Dimnos Sep 21st, 2009 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dixie (Post 649324)
...to keep me awake through 2 shows.
i drink AFTER work saturday


Shows?

Dixie Sep 21st, 2009 03:53 PM

i'm a stagehand. shows, concerts, performances, etc. it's what i does.

Kitsa Sep 21st, 2009 03:55 PM

I'm supposed to be doing a number of things right now and I'm putting them off for no particular reason.

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 21st, 2009 03:58 PM

You do lights or sounds Dix?

Dixie Sep 21st, 2009 04:02 PM

it depends on the gig. i've been on lights alot though. saturday is a ballet though, for that i do wardrobe.

Pub Lover Sep 21st, 2009 04:04 PM

Dudes in tights?

Kitsa Sep 21st, 2009 04:09 PM

She makes sure the bulges are properly stuffed.

Dixie Sep 21st, 2009 04:12 PM

Those dance belts are something else.
the guys in tights all look great in them at least!
swan lake is the bulgiest!

Kitsa Sep 21st, 2009 04:21 PM

oh, the ones that look like jock straps?

Dimnos Sep 21st, 2009 04:48 PM

Do you get to pat em down to make sure they are in place and snug? :orgasm

Pub Lover Sep 21st, 2009 04:50 PM

She sure does. Right after she blows them. :(

Dimnos Sep 21st, 2009 04:53 PM

I can see T sining up for ballet classes right now. :lol

Tadao Sep 21st, 2009 05:01 PM

Been there, not allowed back.

RaNkeri Sep 21st, 2009 05:08 PM

those stains will never come out

Dixie Sep 21st, 2009 05:12 PM

Actually most of the guys are gay, and the ones that aren't gay are married to the pretty ballerinas.
i'm not really interested in guys who look in the mirror more than me anyways.
i'm just there to make sure they have the right costume on and there's no rips or tears in the leotards.

Tadao Sep 21st, 2009 07:16 PM


Kitsa Sep 21st, 2009 08:10 PM

that's pretty fucked up.

That's the only time I cried on 9/11, seeing people jump to their deaths out the windows. And the guy who tried to climb down the side of the WTC on a sheet and fell. I think the rest of the time was just numby-like.

That's the only time I've ever seen a team of medical professionals working on an MI (heart attack) guy and everyone, including the guy having the heart attack, was just staring at the tv screen in the room with their mouths hanging open.

Aaarg Sep 21st, 2009 08:16 PM

somebody didn't believe me when i said "infarction" was a word. "you mean you've never heard of a myocardial infarction?" i then had to explain how "myocardial" meant "heart." that somebody was my sister.


so it's raining pretty ruthlessly here and we have a dirt driveway.

we had to dig a bunch of trenches to try to divert the water out of the "garages" so that we could all get out tomorrow.


hopefully the bridge over the creek holds out, it's been in bad shape for some time now.

Tadao Sep 21st, 2009 08:28 PM

Somewhere in Georgia was getting flooded, is it the same storm hitting you?

Aaarg Sep 21st, 2009 08:33 PM

Atlanta, yeah.

we're at the green star!

Tadao Sep 21st, 2009 08:38 PM

They said a cold front is heading your way and hopefully it will low down the flooded creeks and rivers.

Aaarg Sep 21st, 2009 08:42 PM

I hope we can get some sunlight because the grass is very very long thanks to this nourishment falling from the sky and it's my turn to mow!

So that would be cool.

Tadao Sep 21st, 2009 08:43 PM

I hope because you have a John Deer with a beer chest.

Aaarg Sep 21st, 2009 08:50 PM

Shiiit, we have a bottom-of-the-line push mower that we share with the neighbor, and about an acre to cut with it.

An acre of really long really wet grass. :(

Tadao Sep 21st, 2009 09:14 PM

I used to cut a quarter acre with a weed whacker. I was also very high and drunk.

Aaarg Sep 21st, 2009 09:15 PM

Oh man, that's lame.

I see people cutting steep hills with weed whackers. I'd just let it grow!

Tadao Sep 21st, 2009 09:17 PM

I used to, but the cop neighbor liked to call housing police on me. I would let it grow until I got the notice. Get fucked up and cut it down. It'd get so out of control that no mower would stand a chance.

Kitsa Sep 21st, 2009 09:18 PM

I decided a long time ago that if I ever had a property with a steep hill, I'd tether a goat to it.

Tadao Sep 21st, 2009 09:20 PM

If you live in a place like that, there is usually someone nearby who will rent you their goat.

Kitsa Sep 21st, 2009 09:22 PM

No. I want my own goat. And her name will be Sweet Potato.

Wiffles Sep 21st, 2009 09:23 PM

What ever floats your goat ^_^

Kitsa Sep 21st, 2009 09:24 PM

http://askaurinal.com/2009/07/24/nic...ead-of-lotion/ (NSFW possibly?)

Guitar Woman Sep 21st, 2009 10:59 PM

The text for a course I'm re-taking changed. The new book is 80 dollars.

I'm pirating it instead. :lol

Tadao Sep 21st, 2009 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mockery (Post 649428)
I actually gave a little kid, who was maybe 6 or 7 years old at best, a full box of spaghetti one year because I ran out of candy. His eyes lit up and he went running back to him mom waving the box like it was the greatest treat in the entire world. Easily one of my favorite Halloween memories.

Why do I get the feeling this kid thought he got a full box of candy sticks. :lol

Tadao Sep 22nd, 2009 12:05 AM


Womti Sep 22nd, 2009 12:28 AM

on with the starch :|

Tadao Sep 22nd, 2009 12:35 AM

Tony Starch :lol

Kitsa Sep 22nd, 2009 09:20 AM

I saw boxes of Boo Berry and Frankenberry yesterday at the grocery store and got all excited. Got a box of each ($1.99).

Then the bitch packaged them with lightbulbs :(

I'm all oogy about that. I keep picturing microscopic glass shards in my food. The cereal might as well be ruined.

RaNkeri Sep 22nd, 2009 10:05 AM

Man, what is it with americans being unable to pack their own groceries? :x

stevetothepast Sep 22nd, 2009 10:41 AM

A lot of grocery stores have baggers as well as cashiers at each checkout.

Dimnos Sep 22nd, 2009 10:50 AM

I love those self checkout things. Except when the bagging area has a weight sensor in it. That pisses me off.

Aaarg Sep 22nd, 2009 11:10 AM

Yeah, being a cashier for a long time makes you really judgemental of others' bagging techniques.

So you get to the house before you realize that the bloody ground beef was packaged with the produce or something. In the case of Wal Mart, you get each item in its own individual bag.

stevetothepast Sep 22nd, 2009 11:16 AM

walmart with meat and dairy seems very foreign to me. I mean our's has a dry groceries section but I'm not sure if I'd be buying my steaks from them.

Dimnos Sep 22nd, 2009 11:20 AM

At those prices how could you not?! :eek

Kitsa Sep 22nd, 2009 11:27 AM

Usually I try to bag my own stuff because I'm so damn particular (you know, not wanting ant poison in with my bread, not wanting lightbulbs in with food), but sometimes the bagger is too quick for me. In stores where the baggers are working for tips, bagging your own stuff never happens...they'd sooner grab the groceries out of your hands and do it rather than give up that dollar.

In this case, the cashier had one of those turnaround bag stations and was just throwing stuff in as it came up on the belt. I'd put the household cleaners and lightbulbs well away from the groceries as a hint, but she didn't give a rat's ass and just packaged the first of the household stuff with the last of the food.

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 22nd, 2009 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dimnos (Post 649465)
I love those self checkout things. Except when the bagging area has a weight sensor in it. That pisses me off.

OH I HATE THAT TO NO END. That's why I only go through them if I have a small number of items.

Dimnos Sep 22nd, 2009 11:42 AM

PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING SECTION! PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING SECTION! PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING SECTION! PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING SECTION! PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING SECTION! PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING SECTION! PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING SECTION! PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING SECTION!

:maul :maul :maul

Dimnos Sep 22nd, 2009 11:43 AM

THERE ISNT ROOM IN YOUR BAGGING SECTION FOR ALL MY SHIT. SHUT THE HELL UP.

Kitsa Sep 22nd, 2009 11:43 AM

I always have something light that doesn't register, and it tells me to please bag it over and over and over again. And the person in charge of the self-checkouts is bullshitting with someone and never comes over when you try to get his attention.

:/

Dimnos Sep 22nd, 2009 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 649469)
Usually I try to bag my own stuff because I'm so damn particular (you know, not wanting ant poison in with my bread, not wanting lightbulbs in with food), but sometimes the bagger is too quick for me. In stores where the baggers are working for tips, bagging your own stuff never happens...they'd sooner grab the groceries out of your hands and do it rather than give up that dollar.

Tip him to get lost. :lol

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 22nd, 2009 11:56 AM

:pagebrak

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 649469)
Usually I try to bag my own stuff because I'm so damn particular (you know, not wanting ant poison in with my bread, not wanting lightbulbs in with food), but sometimes the bagger is too quick for me.


I agree with you. If there is a conveyor belt what I do is put items I want together on the belt, that way when it gets to the cashier they just put it in bags the same way.

Tadao Sep 22nd, 2009 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordSappington (Post 649459)
There are these annoying whorish freshman girls in my neighborhood who have a knack for cornering you into long, retarded conversations if you run into them. Last night, they tried to get me into doing ecstasy (who the hell takes ecstasy while sitting around in a park?), so I came up with some bullshitted story about how I just crashed my bike and had a concussion, and needed to get home to go to the ER. I didn't even need to ACT; dumbasses believed I had one, even though I wasn't bleeding, limping, or showing any signs of a concussion, or ANY injury.
Moral of the story: Bullshitting dumb people is fun.

WAIT WHAT? YOU DIDN'T DO A SEXUAL DRUG WITH A GROUP OF GIRLS IN A PARK?

Colonel Flagg Sep 22nd, 2009 03:15 PM

He carries a torch for his one true snugglebunny.

Tadao Sep 22nd, 2009 03:32 PM

Dear Snugglebunny forums, you'll never believe what I didn't do today!

Dimnos Sep 22nd, 2009 03:35 PM

Right. At least pocket the tab and just along with it man....

Tadao Sep 22nd, 2009 03:39 PM

No way, Ecstasy if great fun. It can make stupid girls tolerable, sexy even.

stevetothepast Sep 22nd, 2009 03:41 PM

oh gross old, dirty old, good for nothing, ecstasy.

Kitsa Sep 22nd, 2009 04:17 PM

I thought ecstasy made you impotent and all you really ended up doing was rolling around and slobbering with a floppy dick.

Tadao Sep 22nd, 2009 04:31 PM

Not at all. It was actually used to help marriages that turned loveless.

Dimnos Sep 22nd, 2009 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 649530)
I thought ecstasy made you impotent and all you really ended up doing was rolling around and slobbering with a floppy dick.


Nah. Your thinking speed.

Tadao Sep 22nd, 2009 04:35 PM

No way, you can fuck for 8 hours straight on speed.

Dimnos Sep 22nd, 2009 04:45 PM

Not that I went around checking boners but everyone I ever knew said they had a damn awful time getting it up on speed. More often than not they were more interested in doing more speed that fucking anyway. :\

Fathom Zero Sep 22nd, 2009 04:56 PM

Maybe they had a hard time thinking about fucking.

Tadao Sep 22nd, 2009 04:56 PM

Maybe it has to do with the person, I prefer my drugs to involve sin at the same time.

Fathom Zero Sep 22nd, 2009 04:57 PM

Is that a line from the Book of Tadao?

Tadao Sep 22nd, 2009 04:58 PM

Sounds more like a gay Oscar Wild quote :(

Fathom Zero Sep 22nd, 2009 05:05 PM

It's sad because it's true kinda. :(

Tadao Sep 22nd, 2009 05:11 PM

Even worse, it sounds like someone trying to act like Oscar Wilde, but isn't witty at all.

:( :(

Tadao Sep 22nd, 2009 05:13 PM

The hills around me are on fire AGAIN. Every year, same shit.

Fathom Zero Sep 22nd, 2009 05:13 PM

I know someone like that. But I know it's just part of his persona.

Fathom Zero Sep 22nd, 2009 05:14 PM

You could live in Greece; your whole country would be on fire all the time.

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 22nd, 2009 05:15 PM

You should move to a less fire hilly region. I don't mind getting snowed on. Fired on is too much for me.

Colonel Flagg Sep 22nd, 2009 05:16 PM

Hope you're not in any danger, Tad. No more than normal, anyway. :\

Fathom Zero Sep 22nd, 2009 05:18 PM

ALAN RICKMAN DANGER CYCLE

Tadao Sep 22nd, 2009 05:19 PM

North of LA is always on fire. We don't really pay attention to the huge out of control wildfire 10 miles from us anymore. A lot of people will try to fight the fire with a garden hose and only leave if they can't take the heat.


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