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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Fathom Zero Aug 16th, 2010 03:40 PM

After reading what Chojin eats, I feel so good about myself.

10,000 Volt Ghost Aug 16th, 2010 05:14 PM

Happy birthday Madonna.

Tadao Aug 16th, 2010 05:33 PM

Hope you die of breast cancer

Kitsa Aug 16th, 2010 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarioRPG (Post 695353)
After reading what Chojin eats... I feel like I eat the worst crap.


I get this vision of him being kicked out of a mall for wanking to whey supplements at a GNC.

Chojin Aug 16th, 2010 06:24 PM

That's just what I eat on carb loads. On diet days, I normally eat only bison meat, poached chicken breast, and tuna sandwiches. On my maintenance days, I eat out at either a restaurant or one of the more upscale fast food places (subway, chipotle) and then eat as per diet days for the rest of my meals.

"Obsessed" is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated.

Tadao Aug 16th, 2010 06:50 PM

Why did Facebook suggest to me a friend I worked with 15 years ago? It's not like we looked for each other or that Facebook has my full name. It's kinda weird. I'm glad though but weirded out.

Guitar Woman Aug 16th, 2010 07:07 PM

brolifting issue: I've been curling 20 pound dumbbells pretty frequently for a while now, but it seems like I'm working my forearms more than my bi/triceps (srsly, I'm starting to get popeye arms) because I barely ever feel any strain on them, and I think there's something wrong with the muscles in my left arm, since when I try to lift the weight in that one after a few curls it just kinda goes dead and won't move. What the fuck is up with that?

I was doing some scud work for a relative hauling heavy shit for him, and the next day my left arm all around my lower bicep (the tendon area by my elbow is how I'd describe it) was completely frozen, like, in a 90 degree angle, and I had to put in in a sling to keep it from straightening out and exploding. It stayed like that for a few days, and then I could use it again. That might be related.

I'm probably just doing it wrong, but I think I'm gonna switch to pushups, crunches, chin-ups and the like because I don't want to murder my muscles from improper weightlifting technique

Plus I'm not trying to build muscle anyway, I just want to drop all my flab and look like Elric of Melnibone, and maybe define my abs a little

Tadao Aug 16th, 2010 07:38 PM

Your signature makes me not want to read any of that.

Guitar Woman Aug 16th, 2010 08:06 PM

No love for Bowie?

Also, I'd not take advice from you, faggot butt, so I guess that worked out favorably

Tadao Aug 16th, 2010 08:29 PM

It's your whole anime fanboy to bowie narcissism setup. Makes me believe that there isn't a whole lot of use in reading a paragraph framed by what you are visually selling.

Guitar Woman Aug 16th, 2010 08:30 PM

To be fair, Yakui technically isn't an animu character, that's just the only style the internet knows how to draw

Fathom Zero Aug 16th, 2010 08:31 PM

Tadao, can you be my daddy?

Tadao Aug 16th, 2010 10:34 PM

Let me see pics of your mom and then we'll talk.

Fathom Zero Aug 16th, 2010 10:39 PM

She dyes her hair pink and rides a motorcycle.

Sam Aug 16th, 2010 10:45 PM

She's Bod?

Fathom Zero Aug 16th, 2010 10:49 PM

:eek

Tadao Aug 16th, 2010 11:10 PM



HOTCHIMOMMA!

Esuohlim Aug 17th, 2010 12:24 AM

KNOCK KNOCK

Tadao Aug 17th, 2010 12:32 AM

GO AROUND BACK

Esuohlim Aug 17th, 2010 12:45 AM

OK

Esuohlim Aug 17th, 2010 12:46 AM

KNOCK KNOCK

Tadao Aug 17th, 2010 01:52 AM

COME ON IN, I'M ON THE TOILET. BE OUT IN A SEC.

elx Aug 17th, 2010 02:22 AM

HAVE A SEAT, I MADE YOU COOKIESSsssssss

Chojin Aug 17th, 2010 04:00 AM

gw, only women curl 2 lb weights 9000 times and expect to get 'toned'

and yes; pushups, bodyweight squats, and chinups are like a million times more useful for your purposes than curling.

Esuohlim Aug 17th, 2010 05:10 AM

I HAVE PILONIDAL CYST COMPLICATIONS. (MEANING IT'S ON MY ASS). Please suggest alternatives to sit ups, sarge.

Zhukov Aug 17th, 2010 06:18 AM

I too have problems with being bothered to do anything other than sleep and eat. Please suggest alternatives to exercise and proper diet.

Guitar Woman Aug 17th, 2010 08:57 AM

I said 20 pounds, fgt

If I couldn't handle 2 pound weights I would probably have bigger problems than being out of shape

Chojin Aug 17th, 2010 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 695448)
I HAVE PILONIDAL CYST COMPLICATIONS. (MEANING IT'S ON MY ASS). Please suggest alternatives to sit ups, sarge.

where on the ass?

situps aren't a terribly useful exercise, and i have a hard time believing that a bump on your ass would keep you from doing crunches, or you probably wouldn't be able to do things such as "lay on a bed"

for ab-only isolation, you could do dragon flags or hanging hip raises

Quote:

I said 20 pounds, fgt

If I couldn't handle 2 pound weights I would probably have bigger problems than being out of shape
my advice remains the same. curls are only important for people who already train in the weight room, and even then are already are past the beginner stage. it's an isolation movement that works a vanity muscle. it won't help you 'lean up'. cut it out.

Quote:

I too have problems with being bothered to do anything other than sleep and eat. Please suggest alternatives to exercise and proper diet.
ima stab you

executioneer Aug 17th, 2010 11:07 AM

is stabbing good exercise

Chojin Aug 17th, 2010 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer (Post 695465)
is stabbing good exercise

depends on what you're stabbing with. a knife would just be a tricep isolation exercise. swinging a 2-h sword around would be more compound and make for a better exercise.

MLE Aug 17th, 2010 08:41 PM

Swinging isn't stabbing.

Sam Aug 17th, 2010 10:30 PM

YOU WOULD NEED A THRUST STYLE OF MOVEMENT.

elx Aug 17th, 2010 11:19 PM

fall semester has started for all of the coooool kiiiiiiiiids

elx Aug 17th, 2010 11:20 PM

and single moms

elx Aug 17th, 2010 11:21 PM

why did boys stop going to school? :( it's like a 60:40 ratio nationwide and like 30:2 at mine :(

elx Aug 17th, 2010 11:22 PM

......not that i mind!

Kitsa Aug 17th, 2010 11:29 PM

I couldn't tell you.

I had a long day which included dental work. Drinking something and going to bed is sounding like an excellent plan.

elx Aug 17th, 2010 11:35 PM

it's because they're all going to jupiter to get more stupider

you should most definitely not sleep kitsa, you might eat a spider

Zhukov Aug 17th, 2010 11:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 695576)
why did boys stop going to school? :( it's like a 60:40 ratio nationwide and like 30:2 at mine :(

Some of us had to get jobs to pay the bills, rather than skills to pay the bills. :\

Kitsa Aug 18th, 2010 12:01 AM

Already dealt with a sowbug killer earlier and feel like I have them in my hair.

The spiders, it's like they find me.

When I was at the dentist earlier, they did all their work just as the anesthetic was 3/4 worn off. Then they asked me if it felt right. How should I know? I was starting to get sensation back in my upper lip, but it still felt like someone had pounded some tinkertoy pegs up where my front teeth had been. It's like the absolute wrong time to ask someone if their teeth feel right :/

I am having another "mike's harder lemonade" and I'm not quite sure what is in this but I'm seeing double and I may or may not have sent a comment box of utter gibberish to the good people of MAC cosmetics.

elx Aug 18th, 2010 12:26 AM

that's ok! the whole main target audience for mac cosmetics is brainless women, so your gibberish may very well make more sense to them than the usual commentary. :(

Esuohlim Aug 18th, 2010 02:12 AM

elx to answer your question it is because school is for losers, boooooooo

elx Aug 18th, 2010 04:32 AM

milhouse you are my brother, i think we should bond. you should start by telling me a really embarrassing story.

Esuohlim Aug 18th, 2010 05:37 AM

OK, mom says you were conceived in the restroom by weekend dad at the racetrack as a celebration for Dale Earnhardt's victory that day.

Fathom Zero Aug 18th, 2010 07:43 AM

Hahaha

captain516 Aug 18th, 2010 09:31 PM

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/member.php?u=9501
I hope this is someone's character. And that someone better put this to good use in the future.

Sam Aug 18th, 2010 10:05 PM

MULEHORSE AND ELX ARE BOTH MY BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN, I AM SO BLESSED BY OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST

Grislygus Aug 19th, 2010 02:15 AM

okay so I've had a couple glasses and I'm watching fucking Soul Train because there's nothing else on, and there's smokey goddamn robinson and the black guy from Ghostbusters performing and there's these animations and the announcer is a grand king pimp badass and this is awesome. How many people watched this stoned out of their minds in the seventies

Grislygus Aug 19th, 2010 02:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 695377)
brolifting issue: I've been curling 20 pound dumbbells pretty frequently for a while now, but it seems like I'm working my forearms more than my bi/triceps (srsly, I'm starting to get popeye arms) because I barely ever feel any strain on them, and I think there's something wrong with the muscles in my left arm, since when I try to lift the weight in that one after a few curls it just kinda goes dead and won't move. What the fuck is up with that?

I was doing some scud work for a relative hauling heavy shit for him, and the next day my left arm all around my lower bicep (the tendon area by my elbow is how I'd describe it) was completely frozen, like, in a 90 degree angle, and I had to put in in a sling to keep it from straightening out and exploding. It stayed like that for a few days, and then I could use it again. That might be related.

I'm probably just doing it wrong, but I think I'm gonna switch to pushups, crunches, chin-ups and the like because I don't want to murder my muscles from improper weightlifting technique

Plus I'm not trying to build muscle anyway, I just want to drop all my flab and look like Elric of Melnibone, and maybe define my abs a little

Hokay, as the the guy who already claimed popeye status, and the only guy on these forums other than chojin who can do 100 rep hammer curls with 25 lbers and 20 reps with 50 lbs, i continue to lay claim

Grislygus Aug 19th, 2010 02:26 AM

of course, chojin will be unimpressed by this evidence of inefficient lifting, but still. STEPPIN ON MAH TURF BROTHER

PYTHONS

Grislygus Aug 19th, 2010 02:29 AM

that was misleading. fifty reps PER ARM with 25 lbs, 100 total; only ten eps per arm with 50s,

Grislygus Aug 19th, 2010 02:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 695380)
Your signature makes me not want to read any of that.

WHAT YOU BASTARD I WILL ACTUALLY JOIN GW ON THIS ONE

Sam Aug 19th, 2010 02:39 AM

WHERE THE FUCK IS MY DRAWRING GODDAMN YOU

Grislygus Aug 19th, 2010 02:52 AM

THE WINGS NEED TIO BE FINISHED, I WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN


BECAUSE MY GF JUST LET ME DOWN AND DOESN'T WANT ME TO DRIVE DOWN AND SEE HER TOMORROW EVEN THOUGH IT'S A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP AND I'M FUCKING STREEEEESSED OUT ANYWAY SO I NEED TO SEE HER BUT YOU KNOW THERE'S NO WAY I CAN TELL HER THAT SO WHEN SHE TEXTS ME WITH "lol, actually my grandma just got out of the hospital early, tomorrows not a good time" I JUST TEXT BACK WITH "awright" AND THEN WHEN SHE TEXTAS BACK WITH "sorry :(" I'M ALL LIKE "lol sall good, don't worry about it" BECAUSE I DON'T WANT HER TO KNOW THAT I'M A TOTAL PUSSY INSIDE BUT SHE KNOWS ALREADY BUT SHE'S POLITE ENOUGH TO PRETEND THAT omg i'm watching an informercial for Www.armink.com, fake tattoos

this is a hilarious oh my fucking god this could be an snl skit

Grislygus Aug 19th, 2010 02:54 AM

so yeah, i suddenly have the whole fucking day to finish it tomorrow

Tadao Aug 19th, 2010 01:16 PM

Go over to GW's house and listen to my chemical romance you homobuttfaglovehole

Chojin Aug 19th, 2010 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 695669)
Hokay, as the the guy who already claimed popeye status, and the only guy on these forums other than chojin who can do 100 rep hammer curls with 25 lbers and 20 reps with 50 lbs, i continue to lay claim



ECCENTRIC CONCENTRIC

myofibrillar hypertrophy refers to muscle density (or actual strength; notice it matches up under the 'strength' result), and sarcoplasmic hypertrophy refers to muscle size. 20+ reps is generally only good for depleting muscle glycogen, which (unless you're carb cycling) does nothing but make you weaker and burn the shit out of you with lactic acid.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE?
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=328670
btw i don't agree with everything in this article so if anyone actually reads it (doubtful) and wants clarification on anything, let me know

Grislygus Aug 19th, 2010 02:28 PM

so once I double the reps on the fifties I'm good. does the overkill factor also apply to sets? I usually do five

Chojin Aug 19th, 2010 02:36 PM

If you're doing 10 reps with the 50s, i'd increase weight, not reps. I only go over 10 reps on anything if I'm closing out a last set and want to be sure that I can increase weight the next time. Also, I'd use an 8-10 rep set in moderation (switch between 3-5 rep sets and 8-10 rep sets every month or so) or for exercises for which you are prone to injury (for example I've hurt my lower back 3 times now doing squats, so I no longer do 3-5 rep sets of those; an 8-10 rep set of squats forces me to use a lower weight to achieve the same level of muscle fatigue).

I've never seen a credible routine go over 5 sets, and most routines will have you doing 3 sets (with some exercises only needing 1 set, such as the deadlift). Lactic acid buildup is cumulative with either high reps or high sets and is the factor attributable to 'feeling the burn'. Neither a burning sensation nor soreness the day afterward is an indicator of a successful workout, so aiming for lactic acid generation through a high-set routine isn't really doing anything for you that a 3-5 set routine wouldn't.

Also it would be advisable to quit being a faggot and do compound exercises, preferably with a barbell (with certain exceptions where unrestricted ROM recruits more muscle fibers or prevents injury). I don't think you stated what it is you're doing with dumbbells, but I'm going to go ahead and assume you're doing nothing but curls, which is essentially the same as doing nothing at all. If you're just chasing a 'sick pump', pushups are a superior exercise and don't require any equipment.

Fathom Zero Aug 19th, 2010 02:54 PM

why would I want to lactate?

Grislygus Aug 19th, 2010 02:57 PM

yeah, just saw your site mentioning the 5x5 as being ideal... as far as what I'm doing, I only mentioned hammer curls. i generally do militaries, squats, regular curls, hammer curls, leg lifts, and pushups... so yeah, no compound lifting. That generally happens to people when they don't have a whole lot of free time to lift weights religiously

Grislygus Aug 19th, 2010 02:59 PM

'course, I can't get preachy, since i just lift weights because I can

Chojin Aug 19th, 2010 03:03 PM

you mention press, squats, and pushups which are all compound. idk what you're implying by "don't have a whole lot of free time to lift weights religiously", since compound movements cut down on your time in the weight room by working lots of muscles simultaneously (you can easily do an effective workout with 3 compound lifts).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 695717)
'course, I can't get preachy, since i just lift weights because I can

this is the among the best reasons to lift. the worst is if you're doing it for some bitch or futurebitch.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 695715)
why would I want to lactate?

milk is a great source of protein, and you can save a bundle if you produce it yourself.

Grislygus Aug 19th, 2010 03:08 PM

hell, the only goal I have is to figure out a way to get my sixpack back without giving up beer, liquor, red meat, and carbs. other than that, I just don't care


probably the reason that goal hasn't been achieved

Chojin Aug 19th, 2010 03:12 PM

six-pack abs are about bodyfat levels, and bodyfat levels (esp. at lower bounds) are determined entirely by diet.

Grislygus Aug 19th, 2010 03:13 PM

squats and pushups are compound lifts?! I thought that compound lifts involved routines like women do in excercise programs at the gym

i need to hit wikipedia, i think

Grislygus Aug 19th, 2010 03:16 PM

six pack is body fat. okay, so I AM buying an elliptical trainer, since it's the only cardio I enjoy... so if i make a point of actually taking it seriously, the crunches will pay off?

Grislygus Aug 19th, 2010 03:20 PM

for the first time in two years

Fathom Zero Aug 19th, 2010 03:45 PM

go die in a fire

Kitsa Aug 19th, 2010 06:39 PM

I had a garage sale today. Numerous interesting things happened. I sold a ballgown to a transvestite on a moped.

Tadao Aug 19th, 2010 06:48 PM

Hahhaha, we had a garage sale 2 weeks ago in L.A. Either nothing interesting happened or I'm desensitized to the strange and weird.

Kitsa Aug 19th, 2010 06:55 PM

There was this one family that had roughly 40 million kids, all badly behaved, who spread out and were into everything. I thought they were going to destroy every single thing I had for sale. In the end, they stole a bunch of small stuff, but several of the kids were visibly sick and coughing uncovered all over everything, so I didn't want it back.

We also had a woman who handed us fake million-dollar bills telling us that we were probably liars and would go to hell.

Tadao Aug 19th, 2010 07:08 PM

Chances are she got the second part right.

Chojin Aug 19th, 2010 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 695723)
six pack is body fat. okay, so I AM buying an elliptical trainer, since it's the only cardio I enjoy... so if i make a point of actually taking it seriously, the crunches will pay off?

i had a reply all typed out and accidentally deleted it, so here's the short version:

Between the combination of exertion and the increase to metabolic rate you'll get from doing cardio frequently (as in at least every other day), you can expect to maybe burn off 500 Calories every day that you do moderate cardio for an hour. Your machine or fitness websites will tell you you're burning much more than that, but that's bullshit. For reference, a side of fries is between 500-800 Calories. Alcoholic beverages can hit 500 Calories VERY quickly because alcohol is only 2 Calories-per-gram less fattening than pure, liquified lard. A small bottle of sake has about 900 Calories. Exercise will also make you hungrier later in the day (though it blunts hunger while you're performing it).

What I'm getting at is that you will 'burn fat' much quicker and more reliably by just changing the way you eat. Switch to diet sodas. Stop drinking alcohol or limit it. When you eat fast food, stop getting combos and just order the entree by itself. For reasons I will never understand, it seems like everyone that wants to lose weight thinks the best way to go about it is to waste a lot of time and kill themselves on a treadmill. It is much more efficient to just change your diet and will also condition you better for keeping the weight off in the future.

Grislygus Aug 19th, 2010 09:24 PM

yeah, I remember your advice on multiplying the proof by 1.7 when figuring on the calories in a shot of whiskey... i don't drink sodas or eat fast food, but i REALLY don't want to give up drinking or eating red meat

Colonel Flagg Aug 19th, 2010 10:25 PM

:pagebrak

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 695757)
We also had a woman who handed us fake million-dollar bills telling us that we were probably liars and would go to hell.

Did she ask to use your rest room?

Guitar Woman Aug 20th, 2010 05:46 AM

Quitting cigarettes sucks hardcore.

It's like my lungs are starving.

Zhukov Aug 20th, 2010 07:39 AM

I don't think you should give up; it doesn't really sound like your personality type to be not smoking.

Tanuki Aug 20th, 2010 09:46 AM

Last night I saw Rifftrax Live with a guy I've been dating. it was hilarious.

Also bought a Sackboy doll.

10,000 Volt Ghost Aug 20th, 2010 11:11 AM

Tanuki, you can't be new AND have a guy you've been dating. That just won't work.

Dimnos Aug 20th, 2010 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 695804)
Quitting cigarettes sucks hardcore.

It's like my lungs are starving.


Definitely one of the hardest things I have ever done. I feel for you. Keep a sack of the green around for when you just cant take it. Plus a big bag of jolly ranchers for the times and places you just cant toke up. :(

Fathom Zero Aug 20th, 2010 12:22 PM

Shrub, you look even more like a gypsy than Dixie. :o

Tadao Aug 20th, 2010 12:30 PM

What are you talking about?

Fathom Zero Aug 20th, 2010 12:57 PM

they say that
nothing is wasted:
either that
or
it all is.

Dimnos Aug 20th, 2010 01:00 PM

Have you been hanging out with GW?

Fathom Zero Aug 20th, 2010 01:03 PM

Close. Bukowski.

RaNkeri Aug 20th, 2010 02:54 PM

so, I was supposed to go see Inception with my friend, but apparently shit is still hot because it was sold out :/

RaNkeri Aug 20th, 2010 02:56 PM

I would totally hang out with FZ

Guitar Woman Aug 20th, 2010 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 695807)
I don't think you should give up; it doesn't really sound like your personality type to be not smoking.

Yeah I thought this too, but that doesn't change the fact that it's horrible for me.

I also have no idea what the fuck I'm going to replace smoking with, since you can pretty much do it all the time every day without immediately debilitating yourself, and not many other drugs have that luxury. Also, I always thought it was fun, and basically did it whenever I was really bored, so now I dunno how the fuck I'm going to pass the time.

Also Dimnos, I was gonna take up grass just to quit tobacco, but by some hilarious twist of fate I can't get downtown at the moment, so I guess I'm just gonna have to rough it

Esuohlim Aug 20th, 2010 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tanuki (Post 695819)
Last night I saw Rifftrax Live with a guy I've been dating. it was hilarious.

Also bought a Sackboy doll.

I SAW THIS TOO

THE THEATER WAS FULL OF NERDS :rolleyes

I BLENDED RIGHT IN

Shrubfest Aug 20th, 2010 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 695844)
Shrub, you look even more like a gypsy than Dixie. :o

Based on what?

I'm not arguing, just intrigued.

Dr. Boogie Aug 20th, 2010 05:07 PM

The morning radio show was doing a bit about Michael Jackson having a new video game, and they were playing a modified version of the Kid Icarus theme in the background. That made my day.

Guitar Woman Aug 20th, 2010 05:23 PM

I tried smoking salvia to take my mind of cigarettes, to smoke something, and to make a psychedelic breakthrough, but with a normal lighter it doesn't work, and with a torch lighter my bowl starts telling me she knows the Bic and how unreliable it is.

I thought this was absolutely hilarious, and could not stop laughing.

Fathom Zero Aug 20th, 2010 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaNkeri (Post 695866)
I would totally hang out with FZ

And I would you, bby.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shrubfest (Post 695871)
Based on what?

I'm not arguing, just intrigued.

You just got tagged in a buncha pictures recently. They were nice.

Tadao Aug 20th, 2010 05:28 PM

:flirt

Fathom Zero Aug 20th, 2010 05:31 PM

guys make passes at girls in denim jackets

Tadao Aug 20th, 2010 05:36 PM

IT'S TOO LATE, SOME NICE GUY ALREADY BORED HER TO DEATH. SHE'LL NEVER FUCK A NICE GUY AGAIN. YOU SHOULD KICK HIS ASS.

Fathom Zero Aug 20th, 2010 05:37 PM

I feel bad that ladies have to deal with glum cunts like that.

Dimnos Aug 20th, 2010 05:41 PM

They choose to.

Fathom Zero Aug 20th, 2010 05:44 PM

I feel bad that ladies have to deal with glum cunts like that.


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