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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Zhukov Apr 3rd, 2011 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 716651)
do you not have a facebook? :(

Barely. I try not to use it except when I really have to.
Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 716665)
Parently I'm a nobody :(
I was only talking about people IRL. You Kitsa and Finland all noticed my birthday, so hats off for that.


Zhukov Apr 3rd, 2011 09:46 AM

This is what happens when you do something to Chojin and lose your rights to an edit.


I love war documentaries and find that WWII doesn't get boring no matter how much you know about it.

Kitsa Apr 3rd, 2011 10:38 AM

I watched one about Japanese internment camps in Arkansas, and a miniseries about Auschwitz, and some other stuff.

I also watched a bunch of John Waters movies.

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 3rd, 2011 11:04 AM

I totally thought you said japanese internet camps at first

Fathom Zero Apr 3rd, 2011 01:08 PM

OH SHIT NEW SUPERJAIL

FKCN EXCITED

Shrubfest Apr 3rd, 2011 02:46 PM

My fish died.

It was 12 years old.

:(

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 3rd, 2011 03:32 PM

:( sorry shrub. I didn't think fish last that long

Esuohlim Apr 3rd, 2011 04:27 PM

HONOR IT WITH A SIDE OF CHIPS 8)

Shrubfest Apr 3rd, 2011 05:12 PM

I buried him in the garden next to the other one. With stones and a plant pot over it so the cats won't eat him.

Tadao Apr 3rd, 2011 06:23 PM

Cause that's how your fish would want to be buried.

Esuohlim Apr 3rd, 2011 06:46 PM


Otto Apr 3rd, 2011 10:38 PM

BURIAL AT SEA

Kitsa Apr 4th, 2011 12:04 AM

I hate it when I accidentally click a millimeter off of the last page of the thread link and I get transported to the beginning and it's like OH DAMN IT

liquidstatik Apr 4th, 2011 05:17 AM

Kay-kiokio cowboy
Kay-kiokio-hoo
Kay-kio-kio cowboy, cowboy, cowboy,
under the moon.

I was ridin' my horse
by the Rio Grandee
and all o' them coyotes singing
in a prairie symphony.

I was ridin' my horse
down by the Rio Grandee
when I seen me a cowboy, cowboy, cowboy,
ridin' toward me.

Kay-kiokio cowboy
Kay-kiokio-hoo
Kay-kiokio cowboy, cowboy, cowboy,
under the moon.

Fathom Zero Apr 4th, 2011 06:36 AM



OH JAM

elx Apr 4th, 2011 07:19 AM



DIS ONE IS STILL WAY BETTA

Colonel Flagg Apr 4th, 2011 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 716716)
I hate it when I accidentally click a millimeter off of the last page of the thread link and I get transported to the beginning and it's like OH DAMN IT

:fistbump

Kitsa Apr 4th, 2011 03:38 PM

I'm also sorry about your fish, Shrub :(

This morning began a huge thunderstorm here and my big stupid horse of a dog won't pee when it's wet outside. But as soon as she's in, she starts whining about needing to pee again.

My daughter and I were going to get a ride somewhere at 11:30, and I was running behind, so the car pulled into the driveway just as I was standing in the pouring rain with the dog trying to get her to pee. The dog lunges for the car, thinking she's going to go for a ride somewhere, and I slipped in the mud and did sort of a weird and incredibly painful split. Like, my left leg was at 6 and my right leg was at 11. I thought for sure I was going to hear my hip snap, but I didn't. Hurts like a sumbitch, though.

So I had to haul my ass up out of the mud and sort of limp sideways into the house to get the dog put away and change my clothes. She never did pee.

Ex Leper Apr 5th, 2011 02:32 PM

I'm starting to work on art related projects in my spare time.

Pentegarn Apr 5th, 2011 05:32 PM

Weird weather today, it was about mid to upper 40s, but then light snow flurries came down. I thought I was losing it until a coworker called me across town about 10 minutes later and told me the same thing

Kitsa Apr 5th, 2011 05:50 PM

Yeah, I was outside in a t-shirt washing windows this morning, enjoying the warm sunshine. By the time we were out of the movie at 1, it was really cold, and by the time we were in the restaurant at 2, it was snowing. Ohio can suck.

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 5th, 2011 06:58 PM

We just got the flurries here too. They're gone now though.

Esuohlim Apr 6th, 2011 03:53 AM

That teacher who slept with a 16-year-old student has an open Facebook wall if any of you want to post some hilarious shit like the rest of the internet

http://www.facebook.com/tinaamato

Fathom Zero Apr 6th, 2011 06:20 AM

Arbeit nervt.

Fathom Zero Apr 6th, 2011 06:05 PM

lol amanda bynes dead

Fathom Zero Apr 6th, 2011 06:06 PM

died as a result of injuries sustained during an altercation with mixed martial artist Brock Lesnar.

Pub Lover Apr 7th, 2011 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Izlude (Post 716837)
I'm still confused, but um... I'll try not to do whatever "Womti" did or does to garner the distrust, lol.

Welcome to the board, lol. :eek

Pub Lover Apr 7th, 2011 12:05 AM

DYLAN'S NIPPLES!

Pub Lover Apr 7th, 2011 01:31 AM


Tadao Apr 7th, 2011 01:42 AM

:eek

elx Apr 7th, 2011 02:05 AM

na na na naaaaa na na na naaaaaaaaaaa na na na

Tadao Apr 7th, 2011 03:44 AM

Don't forget lady, I have access to your pics, Gimp. and an gif animator.

Guitar Woman Apr 7th, 2011 05:06 AM

Welcome to the wonderful world of internet game criticism! We won't pay you for your efforts, and nobody is going to read your articles, assuming your editors even get off their fat asses and upload them within the next decade. Also, as we abhor anything that might discuss a topic in a thoughtful manner, we're going to have to ask you to keep your articles under 1,000 words.

And I could handle the first two, but oh, fencing with the big wigs about article length. It's like they're allergic to in-depth game exploration, and don't realize that we are, in fact, on the internet, an entity capable of essentially infinite data storage. They also seem to glean sexual pleasure from rejecting perfectly servicable shit. I thought the point of editors was quality control, so that you could bounce your work back and forth until they helped you pop all the zits and polish it to perfection, but I guess everything I learned in J103 was a big fat fabrication and they're really out to fuck you in the eye socket.

Maybe I should just start drinking again.

Pub Lover Apr 7th, 2011 05:43 AM

The only editorial thing that Esuohlim pulled on me was to say he didn't want to post a hidden picture on his website using 'java bullshit' as he put it. :eek

Pub Lover Apr 7th, 2011 05:44 AM

I am comparing what you said to my time pretending to be funny on the internet. :eek

Pub Lover Apr 7th, 2011 05:45 AM

Rather than my day job in cowboy journalism where editors and journalists do their damn work. :eek

Guitar Woman Apr 7th, 2011 06:15 AM

Oy, put in a good reference for me and I'll allow some buttsex.

I'm serious, too.

Zhukov Apr 7th, 2011 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 716868)
Welcome to the wonderful world of internet game criticism! We won't pay you for your efforts, and nobody is going to read your articles, assuming your editors even get off their fat asses and upload them within the next decade. Also, as we abhor anything that might discuss a topic in a thoughtful manner, we're going to have to ask you to keep your articles under 1,000 words.

And I could handle the first two, but oh, fencing with the big wigs about article length. It's like they're allergic to in-depth game exploration, and don't realize that we are, in fact, on the internet, an entity capable of essentially infinite data storage. They also seem to glean sexual pleasure from rejecting perfectly servicable shit. I thought the point of editors was quality control, so that you could bounce your work back and forth until they helped you pop all the zits and polish it to perfection, but I guess everything I learned in J103 was a big fat fabrication and they're really out to fuck you in the eye socket.

Maybe I should just start drinking again.

Seeing as this is probably just a large cry for attention, and seeing as I usually skip your more than one paragraph opinions on video games, I don't know why I am aksing you to post a possible link to this article. Post it somewhere and I'll read it and give honest criticism.

King Hadas Apr 7th, 2011 10:19 AM

If you're serious about writing gw then you really shouldn't turn your nose up at word limits.

Fathom Zero Apr 7th, 2011 10:49 AM

Oh god, you don't know the first thing about writing.



But, if you are serious, I highly HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY suggest you get the book "Writing with Style" by John Trimble.

It's the single most important book I own. Seriously, you have no idea how much this will help someone like you, unless you're not receptive to criticism - in which case you're a lost cause, anyway, and it won't matter.

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 7th, 2011 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 716821)
lol amanda bynes dead


Her dog died, not her.

Fathom Zero Apr 7th, 2011 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 716895)
Her dog died, not her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 716822)
died as a result of injuries sustained during an altercation with mixed martial artist Brock Lesnar.

..

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 7th, 2011 11:41 AM

I can't believe Brock Lesnar killed Amanda Bynes' dog.

Pub Lover Apr 7th, 2011 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 716882)
I keep getting this thread and the one below it mixed up and all I can see is ARE YOU EATING MAN PENIS.

..

elx Apr 7th, 2011 12:19 PM


:boob stress reliever is probably not appropriate for work desks :(

elx Apr 7th, 2011 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 716868)
Maybe I should just start drinking again.

dude. whenever you say anything GW you always like a washed up british psuedo-intellect that's seventy years old and smells like dead smoke and spent his life working bitterly for 'the man' in order to support his secret hobby of collecting locks of hair.


which is dumb, because you're like a baby and not even old enough to drink.

Tadao Apr 7th, 2011 12:34 PM

I'd give advice but then he would bring up my painful past of old age and meth abuse.

Tadao Apr 7th, 2011 12:36 PM

:(

Tadao Apr 7th, 2011 12:37 PM


Tadao Apr 7th, 2011 12:37 PM

:pagebrak

Guitar Woman Apr 7th, 2011 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 716890)
Oh god, you don't know the first thing about writing.

Thanks

Also Hadas, I realize word limits can generally be a boon to readability and shit, but I have this condition called being a horrible autistic that causes me to have to talk at length about everything or I will literally go insane. Also, I've been told I'm pretty good at it, and I could poop 800 words a week.

And sure, Zhukov, I'll link my shit up if I can get dipshit to post it tomorrow

Fathom Zero Apr 7th, 2011 12:52 PM

Writing means nothing unless you're writing for an audience. Writing for yourself is meaningless. Why would you publish something instead of just keeping it in a drawer, then?

Esuohlim Apr 7th, 2011 01:02 PM

Why do people write in journals and diaries then

elx Apr 7th, 2011 01:04 PM

my association may also be from your usage of the word "oy" which, like zhukov, I didn't bother to even read before -- but it likely still influenced my thinking and made me biased towards british! interesting truth: even if we don't detect or consciously observe stimuli, our brain still processes it and communicates it across our minds. that process of filtering the stimuli has the ability to corrupt our thinking and has a temporary suggestive power over us.

for example, television producers could subliminally flash any image before us without us even realizing something had happened, if the length of the flash were short enough. the image could be of a glass of water, which we wouldn't see, but we'd probably still develop a sudden interest in thirst. or, they might flash cardboard and make us crave mcdonalds out of nowhere. not saying this is abused, but it has the potential to be! the same goes with sound too, and just about everything else.

it accounts for a lot of daily "coincidences" and spooks too, like when you "feel" that someone is behind you/or following you but you're not sure why. and then you turn around and they're there! it's because your brain was picking up on the sounds or change in temperature, or whatever, that would otherwise be undetectable within the human threshold. it then filtered that stimuli and sends you that thought as a warning, like, "hey dude someones about to stab you in the bum!"

or like whenever those neighbors in interviews are always like "Oh yeah, I always knew that guy was a creeper, I just saw something in him" blahblahblah, they think they all have superpowers but it's a very basic cognitive peculiarity that everyone does daily ;(

so even when you can't perceive, your mind does. and even when it can't tell you what's wrong, it'll still try to tell you that there's something. the lesson here is that you should always follow your instinct, even if it is out of the blue. unless you are watching television, then you should ignore all urges.

the other lesson is that psychophysics is awesome.

King Hadas Apr 7th, 2011 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guitar woman
Also Hadas, I realize word limits can generally be a boon to readability and shit, but I have this condition called being a horrible autistic that causes me to have to talk at length about everything or I will literally go insane. Also, I've been told I'm pretty good at it, and I could poop 800 words a week.

Yeah, so talk about everything at length and then cut it down to a thousand words. If your gonna be a journalist then this is something you'll inevitable have to do so you might as well start now. Also, you edited your post, I don't know if it's better like this but it's certainly longer.

elx Apr 7th, 2011 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 716909)
but I have this condition called being a horrible autistic that causes me to have to talk at length about everything or I will literally go insane.

:(

Guitar Woman Apr 7th, 2011 01:12 PM

Well, I could say it's equal parts for myself and for an audience, but that would be a big fat lie because I do my thing for a website where the sun does not shine and nary a reader is to be found, probably because of our crippling lack of spellchecker or any sort of coherent editing process. I think our guy pretty much clicks on word count and gives a yea or nea depending on how much he thinks it'll stretch the front page.

That's ok, though, because I just like writing so damn much that I will keep churning out essays on a weekly basis and devote all my effort to making them enjoyable and informative reads, even if they consistently remain unpublished and my ambitions are left to decompose under a juniper bush.

Fathom Zero Apr 7th, 2011 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 716911)
Why do people write in journals and diaries then

If you want the adulation of someone else, you can't be a flippant little bitch and do your own thing all the time. Does that sound better?

Guitar Woman Apr 7th, 2011 01:22 PM

Also, yeah, Hadas, I've played that game in a lot of journalism classes. I think I might have a bizarre sexual fetish for the inverted pyramid and murdering inefficient words.

The major difference is that then, I had someone acting as a quality buffer, rather than having to look at everything with my disgusting malformed brain and trying to decide what should stay and what should go. I'm wildly inconsistent about how good I think I am, too, so some days I might just set fire to the entire goddamn thing and curl up in a corner telling myself I'm a hack over and over again.

I'm terrified of becoming George Lucas, basically. I fucking need someone to question me critically or I will inevitably create horrible, childhood-ruining butt shit.

Fathom Zero Apr 7th, 2011 01:32 PM

You need to make better goals. That's what I have to do.

Esuohlim Apr 7th, 2011 01:39 PM

I never understood people who wanted to be journalists. It's like you're basically writing about shit you don't care about because you have to, right?

Guitar Woman Apr 7th, 2011 01:40 PM

It's only the coolest job in the entire fucking world, no biggie

Esuohlim Apr 7th, 2011 01:45 PM

Yeah right, mang. I'm going to be an engineer, the job with the most lopsided ratio of salary/time actually spent working that you can imagine :picklehat

Besides being a goddamn bench-sitting professional sports player I guess >:

Guitar Woman Apr 7th, 2011 01:46 PM

Well, I can't fault you for that, but I'm the kind of person who gets suicidal if he spends too much time not working.

I'm like a skinny Dwarf.

Fathom Zero Apr 7th, 2011 01:53 PM

In my field, we neither get paid nor work! It's pretty great!

King Hadas Apr 7th, 2011 02:05 PM

I think you have unrealistic views on editors GW, in reality they'd probably end up pissing you off. I wrote a review for this site awhile ago that Rog put up nearly unchanged except for a single word, I was surprised at how mad I was. I didn't say anything because it was just a bit of minutia and it would of been embarrassing to throw a fit over but still. I used to imagine I wanted to be a writer too but that shit's far too frustrating. Now I work at Walmart, and I couldn't be happier!

Fathom Zero Apr 7th, 2011 02:10 PM

lol

Guitar Woman Apr 7th, 2011 02:17 PM

I'm nothing if not tolerant of being shat on. How do you think I'm still posting here?

Zhukov Apr 7th, 2011 03:01 PM

I'm going to guess that whatever you wrote an article about, GW, or what you have written articles about in the past, the topic has always managed to revolve around yourself. Your posts do nothing but talk about numero uno.

Guitar Woman Apr 7th, 2011 03:07 PM

Not really, no. It's a video game column, not a fucking blog.

My articles are usually my subjective opinion, of course, so I'll say things like "I particularly liked the part where you had to fast-talk your way into the morgue and get rid of the pathologist so you could cut off and steal body parts at your leisure," but I'll only really talk about myself if it's to make a cheap self-deprecation joke. Which I should probably stop doing anyway, since everyone else has savagely beaten it into the dirt at this point.

I also talk about loads of other stuff all the time, but since you dickheads insist on constantly patornizing me I've got to do a lot of explaining. Well, I don't, actually, but that's lazy.

Either that or you don't even read it; by your admission, you disregard everything I talk about because of tl;dr, so it's more of a case of selective memory. Which isn't to say that I'm not a little whiny from time to time, but I'd rather work out my frustration with words, in a consequence-free internet environment, than by, say, going to town on someone with a sledgehammer.

Zhukov Apr 7th, 2011 03:08 PM

I guess I'll reserve my judgement then.

Fathom Zero Apr 7th, 2011 03:18 PM

World sucks, bro. Have a cigarello.

Guitar Woman Apr 7th, 2011 03:19 PM

Rollin' blunts, writin' prose, fuckin' bitches

King Hadas Apr 7th, 2011 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 716936)
but I'll only really talk about myself if it's to make a cheap self-deprecation joke. Which I should probably stop doing anyway, since everyone else has savagely beaten it into the dirt at this point.

Self-deprecation is not a cliche, it's a legitimate literary technique that lets the audience know the writer doesn't think himself superior to the reader. I used it in my last post when I said I worked at Walmart (I'm actually unemployed ho ho ho). The technique can be overused though.

Mockery Apr 7th, 2011 05:01 PM

Writing has been very good to me. I like it. So yeah, that's my take on the subject. :(

Guitar Woman Apr 7th, 2011 05:16 PM

Ok, I'm not posting in this thread anymore, because I've ruined it something like 20 times already.

As compensation, check this out. http://www.doublefine.com/games/host_master/

Make him run around and turn things on and off, it's hilarious.

Pub Lover Apr 7th, 2011 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 716901)
:boob stress reliever is probably not appropriate for work desks :(

That is what secretaries and interns are for. Miss Elx, please come to my office. :eek

Kitsa Apr 7th, 2011 08:02 PM

you people would have laughed your asses off at me trying to stand on a small stepladder that was slowly but surely sinking into the pea gravel version of quicksand.

MLE Apr 7th, 2011 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 716936)
consequence-free internet environment

..

Dr. Boogie Apr 7th, 2011 09:22 PM

GW, if you're going to make post after post about your writing without linking to any of your writing, don't act surprised when people think you're a ponce.

Pub Lover Apr 7th, 2011 10:20 PM

I somehow missed page 2979 happened until now. :eek

Kitsa Apr 7th, 2011 10:40 PM

i approve of the word ponce.

Evil Robot II Apr 8th, 2011 03:50 AM


10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 8th, 2011 10:17 AM

Freddie Flintstone

Fathom Zero Apr 8th, 2011 10:29 AM

i don't even know what this is about anymore.

Evil Robot II Apr 8th, 2011 02:20 PM

This thread is about websites that allow remote linking pictures.

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 8th, 2011 02:21 PM

I also think you used to be a baller if you brought a whole dollar bill to a parking meter.

LordSappington Apr 8th, 2011 07:37 PM

I personally think it's hilarious that the police maced that kid. Welcome to the real world, kid; you threaten someone with a weapon, and you get the MACE.
And his mom needs to get off her fat ass, stop blaming the police, and blame herself for letting her kid grow into a violent little ass.

executioneer Apr 8th, 2011 08:23 PM

i know if i ever have kids i'm gonna mace 'em when they're bad

Tadao Apr 8th, 2011 09:11 PM

What a weird way to bring up the kid macing. I saw it on the news yesterday and was laughing at the little shit. He needs his ass kicked to the point were he becomes retarded and can't do harm to others.

But seriously, I had to flip back a few reads to see who was talking about it. WTF.

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 8th, 2011 09:56 PM

I feel like they should have used a real mace.

Sam Apr 8th, 2011 10:27 PM

I FEEL LIKE THEY SHOULD HAVE JUST PUT THAT KID IN THE CAMEL CLUTCH AND HUMBLED HIM.

Dr. Boogie Apr 8th, 2011 10:58 PM

The story I read said that when the mom came to get the kid, the first thing she said was "well, you probably deserved it."

Zhukov Apr 8th, 2011 11:22 PM

Funny, but there was a similar story here about a week ago, the only difference was that it was a little girl and she didn't deserve it. Also we call it pepper or capsicum spray.

MLE Apr 8th, 2011 11:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 717034)
cum spray

..

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 9th, 2011 12:07 AM

:o

Zhukov Apr 9th, 2011 12:56 AM

If you edited my post to say "... penis, or cum spray." then it still would have made sense.

Tadao Apr 9th, 2011 03:02 AM

:orgasm

Tadao Apr 9th, 2011 03:02 AM


Tadao Apr 9th, 2011 03:03 AM

:pagebrak


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