I-Mockery Forum

I-Mockery Forum (http://i-mockery.com/forum/index.php)
-   General Blabber (http://i-mockery.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=7)
-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Dimnos Apr 9th, 2011 03:38 AM

Cum spray. Is that the new thing the kids are saying these days?

elx Apr 9th, 2011 05:11 AM

apple is the best company in the world! acquired $1,000+ worth of damage on your macbook with no warranty? no problem. have a new one. we'll ship it to you overnight. have a nice day!


plus the genius was very cute <3 :D

elx Apr 9th, 2011 05:17 AM

they don't deserve the awful reputation they have :(

Evil Robot II Apr 9th, 2011 07:07 AM

In NYC schools that behavior would be considered normal.

Evil Robot II Apr 9th, 2011 07:08 AM

And Foxcon employees kill themselves when they fail apple.

Tadao Apr 9th, 2011 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 717049)
they don't deserve the awful reputation they have :(

They have a bad reputation for a reason. In another couple of months you will remember why, but then they will show you the same product with an add on that was invented before said product was made and you will ohh and ahh about it.

I don't mind these business tactics, I just hate it when they act like the fat kid who gets bullied by big bad Microsoft. Fucking pussies.

Esuohlim Apr 9th, 2011 02:14 PM

Nintendo is the same way.

But I had a problem with my HP laptop not turning on at all when it was only two months old, and I had to JUMP THROUGH HOOPS to get it fixed without charge. I was declined a brand new one.

Zhukov Apr 9th, 2011 02:37 PM

They could make it so it isn't designed to break in the fucking first place.

Chojin Apr 9th, 2011 03:29 PM

that would mean lowering their 2000% markup

Kitsa Apr 9th, 2011 06:04 PM




$320 chocolate easter bunny. 35 lbs.

Babs Apr 9th, 2011 06:43 PM

Oh wow! :love Anthony Thomas?

Pub Lover Apr 9th, 2011 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarioRPG (Post 717007)
It's all fun and games until some tranny dies.

..

Tadao Apr 9th, 2011 07:13 PM

Secret hate notes in spoiler tag code makes me feel like I am getting all my hate out, yet not ruining the thread.

Spoilers!

Kitsa Apr 9th, 2011 07:27 PM

esther price.

Pub Lover Apr 9th, 2011 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 717088)
Secret hate notes in spoiler tag code makes me feel like I am getting all my hate out, yet not ruining the thread.

Spoilers!

Way to tell everyone the secret. :eek

Kitsa Apr 9th, 2011 07:52 PM

when I think of someone who knows the secret of not ruining threads, I think of Pub.

Pub Lover Apr 9th, 2011 08:08 PM

It is true. I only ruin thread. I keep my trash in one place. I am a hoarder of my bullshit. :eek

Pub Lover Apr 9th, 2011 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 717096)
You look very beautiful. Once again I am astounded by the visual delight of the women that post here.

Agreed.

Tadao Apr 9th, 2011 11:25 PM

She was way hotter as a trampy raver. :tear

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 10th, 2011 12:21 AM

I feel like there needs to be tits in here.

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 10th, 2011 01:03 AM

Some spambots tits for dicks sake.

Tadao Apr 10th, 2011 01:25 AM


10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 10th, 2011 01:30 AM

: lol awesome

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 10th, 2011 01:35 AM

Ladies

Tadao Apr 10th, 2011 01:38 AM

:pagebrak

i love me some ladies

Sam Apr 10th, 2011 01:45 AM

I LOVE PUSSY

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 10th, 2011 01:58 AM

I want some tang mang.

Phoenix Gamma Apr 10th, 2011 02:15 AM

After the whole thing last week with everyone I loved throwing an early surprise party for my friend with the same birthday as me, I decided to round everyone up and go to an arcade 30 minutes away and then get drinks for my birthday party.

Long story short, I spent all day drawing, eating, waiting for tomorrow so I can go to work.
So basically I need new friends.
How is a 23 year old supposed to meet people when he's not in college? >:

On the bright side, got a lot of work done today. So that felt good. Caught up on my podcasts. That was nice. Mark Maron's podcast is really great if you like comedians and want to hear them talk about being comedians.

Tadao Apr 10th, 2011 02:20 AM

No one showed up?

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 10th, 2011 02:24 AM

I would have showed up. for the drinks and fucking skeeball for damn sure.

Phoenix Gamma Apr 10th, 2011 02:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 717122)
No one showed up?

Either they didn't want to go or they didn't get back to me, which means they didn't want to go, which means I officially have no friends :rock
Or everyone I know sucks. Which is entirely possible, though as the saying goes, if you can't tell who is the sucker during a game of poker, you're the sucker. Or something like that.

Pub Lover Apr 10th, 2011 02:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 717110)

:wank

Guitar Woman Apr 10th, 2011 02:50 AM

Yeah, I'd totally do those Svedka robots.

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 10th, 2011 02:54 AM

guitar woman. Where are your tits in that picture?

Tadao Apr 10th, 2011 02:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phoenix Gamma (Post 717125)
Either they didn't want to go or they didn't get back to me, which means they didn't want to go, which means I officially have no friends :rock
Or everyone I know sucks. Which is entirely possible, though as the saying goes, if you can't tell who is the sucker during a game of poker, you're the sucker. Or something like that.

They are just jealous of your girlish figure.

Supafly345 Apr 10th, 2011 03:02 AM

I only now noticed the thread title so I'm sorry if this incredibly witty and topical image has been posted already. And sorry for this little bit of text that is ruining if it hasn't. Ans sorry for mentioning the thread title in order to set up an image joke that isn't worth it.

Esuohlim Apr 10th, 2011 03:08 AM

That i-mock ladiez pic needs more Terra w/ beard

Grislygus Apr 10th, 2011 03:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 716385)
I came home from school yesterday and there was a note and my girlfriend left me :(

Sheeit, that sucks. In fact; I'm so sorry to hear that, I'm not going to be facetious or dickish.

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 10th, 2011 03:37 AM

Still waiting for those gee dubya tats

Grislygus Apr 10th, 2011 03:39 AM

I'm actually going to be the idiot internet sympathizer here. I sincerely hope that you get very, very drunk with friends, and get over this shit quickly

Grislygus Apr 10th, 2011 03:40 AM

Huh
Did I promise tattoos again


Hang on, what was it? I'll be near a scanner on monday

elx Apr 10th, 2011 03:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 717061)
They have a bad reputation for a reason. In another couple of months you will remember why, but then they will show you the same product with an add on that was invented before said product was made and you will ohh and ahh about it.

I don't mind these business tactics, I just hate it when they act like the fat kid who gets bullied by big bad Microsoft. Fucking pussies.

dude, just look at it the way I do: yes apple releases on trashed cycles. and yeah, they do have the incredibly annoying/stereotypical fanbase that everyone makes fun of -- they are dense, gullible, and willing to buy anything branded, but they're also eternally loyal and they're devoted life-long fans. they feel they have earned this grandiose sense of entitlement just because they've given such an absurd amount of money to the company. so they expect top priority on waiting lists, the best service, the fastest response times, help whenever they want it and continuous smiles.

their douchebaggery is awesome for the rest of us, because apple automatically assumes that everyone in their userbase is one of these creatures. they can't treat any of us badly or let us walk away upset -- because then there's a chance that they'll be losing the devoted life-long customer. they'll go out of their way to make everyone happy just incase. they don't mind taking a 1k loss on a clusmy teenager, because they expect the clumsy teenager will turn around and spend 2k every 6 months, on new computers, phones, ipods, ipads, etc.


with a company like HP, there's is no such thing as fandom. they never expect customers to offer devoted support or long term benefit. the only priority they have is to sell products. once milhouse has already purchased this product, it no longer matters if they piss him off or not. with that flexibility, they'll just continue to try and get as much money off of him as they possibly can, while they still have him. they'll fight him on every last dime, fee, shipment payment, phone call, maintenance session, service renewal, etc. I bet they'll even put him on hold for thirty minutes and make him listen to greenday just so he's less likely to call the complimentary support in the future.

I would rather be with the company that pretends I have value and treats me awesomely, than the one that just treats me like shit.

(as long as you're not the type to get caught up in the kind of cyclic/trendy/ritualistic buying, it should be worth it. just leave the android in the car, buy the computer and prepare to take advantage of fandom. it's like getting all of the union benefits without ever having to pay the membership fees!)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phoenix Gamma (Post 717121)
So basically I need new friends.
How is a 23 year old supposed to meet people when he's not in college? >:

maybe try participating in specific activities you enjoy and meeting others that are doing the same? I dunno. it seems friendships that develop from common interests > friends that come from convenience. in college everybody automatically buddies up to neighbors, roommates, friends of friends, classmates, etc. and that's silly, because you end up with a group of randomly mix-matched people that would probably hate eachother after a day or two of sobriety. you should go to the arcade anyway and buy drinks for the other dudes that actually want to be there. great way to make friends I bet!

edit: I am talking too much >:

and you forgot wiffles tadao! :(

Pub Lover Apr 10th, 2011 04:09 AM

I think it both hot and amusing that Miss Elx has a better grasp of the hot ladies of the forum than the so called pervy chaps do. :eek

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 10th, 2011 04:11 AM

My girlfriend has a friend who is single.

Pub Lover Apr 10th, 2011 04:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 717142)
edit: I am talking too much >:

Never going to happen, pretty face. :love

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 10th, 2011 04:15 AM

I totallu have a pair of sexy chaps too.

Pub Lover Apr 10th, 2011 04:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 717146)
I totallu have a pair of sexy chaps too.

I know you do, but would you please cover them up with some underpants for once. :eek

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 10th, 2011 04:20 AM

Never

Pub Lover Apr 10th, 2011 04:24 AM

I'm kidding, of course. Please post pictures of your balls, Bill. :eek

Pub Lover Apr 10th, 2011 04:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hangie (Post 717109)
...I have no problem with the insulting implications of this since I have no self-esteem...

[...]
Would it be a dick move to try to sabotage my friend?

That thread makes me feel sick. I hate sex so much. :willie

Pub Lover Apr 10th, 2011 04:27 AM

Oh Christ. :(

Pub Lover Apr 10th, 2011 04:28 AM


Tadao Apr 10th, 2011 04:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 717142)
and you forgot wiffles tadao! :(

She needs to get back here and post a pic. :(

Pub Lover Apr 10th, 2011 04:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 717110)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 713305)

:wank

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 10th, 2011 05:11 AM

I was going to post a picture of my dong but blacked out......down to the pixel.

Pub Lover Apr 10th, 2011 05:16 AM

Nothing is stopping you, hotstuff. :eek

Zhukov Apr 10th, 2011 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 717142)
dude, just look at it the way I do: yes apple releases on trashed cycles. and yeah, they do have the incredibly annoying/stereotypical fanbase that everyone makes fun of -- they are dense, gullible, and willing to buy anything branded, but they're also eternally loyal and they're devoted life-long fans. they feel they have earned this grandiose sense of entitlement just because they've given such an absurd amount of money to the company. so they expect top priority on waiting lists, the best service, the fastest response times, help whenever they want it and continuous smiles.

their douchebaggery is awesome for the rest of us, because apple automatically assumes that everyone in their userbase is one of these creatures. they can't treat any of us badly or let us walk away upset -- because then there's a chance that they'll be losing the devoted life-long customer. they'll go out of their way to make everyone happy just incase. they don't mind taking a 1k loss on a clusmy teenager, because they expect the clumsy teenager will turn around and spend 2k every 6 months, on new computers, phones, ipods, ipads, etc.


with a company like HP, there's is no such thing as fandom. they never expect customers to offer devoted support or long term benefit. the only priority they have is to sell products. once milhouse has already purchased this product, it no longer matters if they piss him off or not. with that flexibility, they'll just continue to try and get as much money off of him as they possibly can, while they still have him. they'll fight him on every last dime, fee, shipment payment, phone call, maintenance session, service renewal, etc. I bet they'll even put him on hold for thirty minutes and make him listen to greenday just so he's less likely to call the complimentary support in the future.

I would rather be with the company that pretends I have value and treats me awesomely, than the one that just treats me like shit.

(as long as you're not the type to get caught up in the kind of cyclic/trendy/ritualistic buying, it should be worth it. just leave the android in the car, buy the computer and prepare to take advantage of fandom. it's like getting all of the union benefits without ever having to pay the membership fees!)

Sorry GW I just can't read all that with any interest. :\

Quote:

maybe try participating in specific activities you enjoy and meeting others that are doing the same? I dunno. it seems friendships that develop from common interests > friends that come from convenience. in college everybody automatically buddies up to neighbors, roommates, friends of friends, classmates, etc. and that's silly, because you end up with a group of randomly mix-matched people that would probably hate eachother after a day or two of sobriety. you should go to the arcade anyway and buy drinks for the other dudes that actually want to be there. great way to make friends I bet!
This is better. Phoenix: I've only got a few friends from school that I actually like, the rest are just acquaintances that I happen to know, and seem to end up at their birthday parties despite not actually liking them. A few months ago I started training to be a referee for the local roller derby team, and the friends I have made there are people that are as old as, or older, than me, (so it's not too late to make friends) like what I like, and are ten times more entertaining than the people I used to hang out with. It's never too late to make good friends. Elx's turn up to the arcade and make friends idea sounds like a good one to me, unless you are a total creep about it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 717156)
I was going to post a picture of my dong but blacked out......down to the pixel.


Zhukov Apr 10th, 2011 10:04 AM

Woops; I was meant to put :lol on that last quote.

Pub Lover Apr 10th, 2011 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 717162)
Sorry GW I just can't read all that with any interest. :\

I read it with interest. :eek
Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 717162)
...unless you are a total creep about it.

I do everything in the manner of a total creep. :eek

Pub Lover Apr 10th, 2011 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 717177)
She draws on herself too much.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 717178)
I thought those were tattoos, but I guess if the second picture is newer then yeah that's a good indicator of The Crazy

That seems reverse logic to me. Tattoos don't wash off. :eek

Fathom Zero Apr 10th, 2011 08:12 PM

I was served with a summons today! Yay!

Kitsa Apr 10th, 2011 08:18 PM

THIS IS FOR THE BRITISH PEOPLE

Mr Kitsa walked in as I was watching the "Bonfire Day" episode of Mulberry and wondered why the British would burn Guy Richie in effigy once a year.

:lol

Guitar Woman Apr 10th, 2011 08:26 PM

I bought 8 hits of acid today.

God yes, I've been waiting for this since I was 12.

Pub Lover Apr 10th, 2011 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 717185)
THIS IS FOR THE BRITISH PEOPLE

Mr Kitsa walked in as I was watching the "Bonfire Day" episode of Mulberry and wondered why the British would burn Guy Richie in effigy once a year.

:lol

Snatch.

Pub Lover Apr 10th, 2011 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 717183)
"MY NO STRINGS ATTACHED FUCKBUDDY'S GERTTING HERSUFF A BOYFRERND AH LAWD WHO COULD HAVE FORSEEN THIS"

The problem is that he likes her and he took any opportunity to be close to her. Even an idiotic, slutty, heart-breaking one. :(

Grislygus Apr 10th, 2011 09:00 PM

So. To recap, she's occupying the male status in the relationship.

Pub Lover Apr 10th, 2011 10:24 PM

I disagree with your gender-stereotyping but yeah, he is the bitch.

Kitsa Apr 10th, 2011 10:39 PM

Seeing as I don't factor in the billboard photo, you'd best change the title from "Ladies of I-Mockery" to "Ladies of I-Mockery I'd Have Relations With".

MLE Apr 10th, 2011 11:43 PM

Or "Ladies of I-Mockery That Sound Like They're Single"

Fathom Zero Apr 11th, 2011 12:21 AM

Your red hair still has a special place in my heart, Kitsa.

Pub Lover Apr 11th, 2011 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 717197)
Seeing as I don't factor in the billboard photo, you'd best change the title from "Ladies of I-Mockery" to "Ladies of I-Mockery I'd Have Relations With".

You tell me off every time I suggest I have an interest in boffing you. :(

LordSappington Apr 11th, 2011 12:43 AM

Working in retail, I have learned of one of the most dreaded types of customers: The last minute shopper. These are the assholes with the uncanny ability to show up mere moments before you leave, equipped with a long list, and extremely indecisive mindset.
Also, this specific example consisted of a fat 26-30 year old guy, and his girlfriend/wife/whatever who appeared to be 40 or so. :(

LordSappington Apr 11th, 2011 12:47 AM

Also, we got some new guy who transferred over from Dallas. He's worked in Randall's delis for two or three years, while he studied History at UNT. Then promptly moved here and... still works at Randalls. Two of his more unique moments:
Me: "Do you like the internet at all? Any cool sites?"
Him: "I just use it for porn." *Looks at me with his usual dead-inside look, then walks back to the sink*

And then today: "I don't really care if I get dirty at work. This is actually one of my cleaner days."
He was covered in crusted foodstuffs and grease.

HE'S SINGLE, LADIES

Babs Apr 11th, 2011 12:52 AM

Going to need some snap shots to confirm this.

Shyandquietguy Apr 11th, 2011 01:52 AM

CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!
SCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!

:pagebrak

Grislygus Apr 11th, 2011 02:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordSappington (Post 717206)
Also, we got some new guy who transferred over from Dallas. He's worked in Randall's delis for two or three years, while he studied History at UNT. Then promptly moved here and... still works at Randalls. Two of his more unique moments:
Me: "Do you like the internet at all? Any cool sites?"
Him: "I just use it for porn." *Looks at me with his usual dead-inside look, then walks back to the sink*

And then today: "I don't really care if I get dirty at work. This is actually one of my cleaner days."
He was covered in crusted foodstuffs and grease.

HE'S SINGLE, LADIES

Oh nman, that makes me want to repost my true-story JEREMY THE DISHWASHER MS Paint comics again. Pub, you didn't happen to save those in a folder or anything, did you

Grislygus Apr 11th, 2011 02:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 717221)
Okay, you're in high school, so you haven't learned this yet. Cute and accessible, but a little anti-social "geeky" girls? with random fucking things wrong with them? Who tell you that they "have trouble opening up to people"? And have excess baggage to boot?


Waste of time. Getting laid is easy, you pussbot. GO TO PARTIES or something, Jesus

'Course, I love fat girls, so I keep tapping that same stupid shit myself :x JUST DO AS I SAY

Grislygus Apr 11th, 2011 03:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 717222)
I love fat girls

Code:

at least on the chubby, cute side of things, as opposed to gout-ridden walrus. I also like athletic chicks. GIVE ME SOME CURVES.          ...Just to clarify.

Grislygus Apr 11th, 2011 03:04 AM




Pub Lover Apr 11th, 2011 03:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 717220)
Pub, you didn't happen to save those in a folder or anything, did you

Not that I can find. :(

Grislygus Apr 11th, 2011 03:08 AM

THANK GAWD FOR PHOTOBUCKET

Pub Lover Apr 11th, 2011 03:15 AM

Right-click, Save as...

Grislygus Apr 11th, 2011 03:17 AM

I'm tempted to make a thread consisting entirely of selections from my photobucket account

LordSappington Apr 11th, 2011 03:19 AM

Fortunately, Drew here hasn't gotten to this level yet. He is rather unsettling, though. He's one of those guys that never has any emotion in his face or voice, ever. God forbid anyone ever gets the idea he was ever happy at any point in his life. I think he subconsciously tries to make up for this by making inappropriate attempts at humor, such as when I came back from break and we had this little exchange:
Me: "Did I miss anything while I was gone?"
Drew: "We had an orgy with a bunch of girls. It was cool."
At this point, he continued his routine 'Stare at you with no visible change in any way. Possibly into your soul.'
More unsettling is that he apparently has a crush on the tiny, tiny teenage girl who works in the bakery across from us. This worries me greatly, not only because she's often the only person nearby that keeps me from going postal, but that any advance from him to her would probably end up with a physical manifestation of pure workplace awkwardness, aimed directly at me, because I think he thinks I'm his friend now.

Grislygus Apr 11th, 2011 04:00 AM

FUck bra

I totally did the photobucket thread, and it was just as hilarious as I'd imagined, but I-Mockery logged me out when I tried to post it. IT'S NOT TO BE

Pub Lover Apr 11th, 2011 04:11 AM

Boo. :(

Grislygus Apr 11th, 2011 04:13 AM

The photos of me as a long-haired little twerp were hilarious

Grislygus Apr 11th, 2011 04:14 AM

hang on

Grislygus Apr 11th, 2011 04:18 AM

THE EVOLUTION OF THE GRISLY GUS









Sam Apr 11th, 2011 04:25 AM

SO HANDSOME.

LIKE RONGI.

Grislygus Apr 11th, 2011 04:29 AM

I love that apparently my hair was PERFECT for Locks for Love, but I will NEVER, EVER do long hair again, shit's gross

Grislygus Apr 11th, 2011 04:31 AM

Some cancer kid got quality fucking shit, I'll tell you that much

LordSappington Apr 11th, 2011 04:33 AM

I've lately started freaking out and becoming intensely uncomfortable the instant I realize that my hair has grown just past the point that I think I need a haircut. At this point, I'm inconsolable; even my girlfriend's insistence that longer hair looks 'Cuter on you', I almost rabidly insist on getting a haircut. This is made even worse by my indecisiveness on how I should get my hair cut, to the point where I tell whoever is cutting my hair to 'Please use your judgement. I'm scared and confused about my hair and how to style it.'

So far it's actually worked fairly well.

Grislygus Apr 11th, 2011 04:36 AM

SAM DID YOU GET THAT MUDDER FECKING TATTOO PIC

Guitar Woman Apr 11th, 2011 06:03 AM

Long hair after showering is the least comfortable thing.

Guitar Woman Apr 11th, 2011 06:04 AM

My edit button's been stolen.

I don't think you fags realize how crippling that is.

MLE Apr 11th, 2011 06:17 AM

With great power comes great responsibility

Grislygus Apr 11th, 2011 06:42 AM

Damnit, show up and CONVERSE.

I HATE ADOBE ILLUSTRATOR

AND OTHER THINGS


NO ONE IS HERE TO COMMISERATE

Shrubfest Apr 11th, 2011 07:08 AM

I have never used Illustrator.

Now, I doubt I ever will.

Thanks!

Grislygus Apr 11th, 2011 07:12 AM

Stupid bastard of a program just curbstomped me, after I spent an hour laboriously fixing a problem


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:21 AM.

Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.