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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Colonel Flagg Jul 23rd, 2011 01:44 AM

State the following, as a question:

Kareem or Kobe?

Shyandquietguy Jul 23rd, 2011 03:16 AM

Whelp, I survived the first round of lay offs that literally took everyone by surprise.

And considering I've always had anxiety when things were nearing a condition for lay offs, and even when they were far from it, I feel strangely satisfied, shocked, remorseful and resentful.

The fellow they took from our team wasn't exactly low seniority, but his quality I've always had a little question about. He would always end up finishing first and would end up coming to my side to look for stuff to do. He seemed thorough as well.

Maybe I should abandon the whole regiment of caution and actually smoke some weed, god damn I'm tired of feeling basically the same thing every day.

ThrashO Jul 23rd, 2011 04:01 AM

who

LordSappington Jul 23rd, 2011 05:00 AM

I'm getting little to no lulz on the readings.

ThrashO Jul 23rd, 2011 05:38 AM

I miss kahljorn and his all caps noob-style posts :(

Can I turn in all my pickles for a get out of jail free card for him? :(

Kitsa Jul 23rd, 2011 09:31 AM

Yesterday I thought I forgot my parents' anniversary and I apologized. My mother said "Oh well, you had a lot on your plate".

Then I remembered that a) it was last month, not this month and b) I got them flowers, champagne and a gift card for dinner.

I don't know whether she honestly forgot that I gave them anything or if she was seizing the opportunity to guilt me like any good mom would. :lol

Aaarg Jul 23rd, 2011 11:00 AM

sounds like she forgot it wasn't her anniversary again!

she's sitting there nervous hoping her husband doesn't make a comment. "maybe he forgot, too," she thinks to herself.

then she's lying in bed, about to go to sleep, "what the fuck, that was last month!"

Kitsa Jul 23rd, 2011 01:26 PM

Welp, Magic Johnson was there but he was up in a skybox or something and I didn't see him.

If they're not hockey players, I am horrible at recognizing sports figures. I know there were big-time baseball guys there, but I couldn't tell them from everyone else because of all of the souvenir jerseys people were playing. One player was walking around shooting everyone with a super soaker. There were multiple huge guys there who looked like basketball players, with big throngs of people around them, but I had no idea who they were.

It was so crazy fucking hot that we all had sweat rolling off of us. I spilled ice water down the front of my shirt. There was like a nanosecond of "agh! cold!" and then I found I was perfectly okay with it. It had all evaporated in under five minutes.

We got free shitty pizza, which no one wanted to eat in 100+ degree weather, and free drinks. Some kid stuck her hand in mine.

We went in the team shop because it was air conditioned, I saw they had kids' souvenir jerseys marked at $110-$120, and I said fuck that and we left.

Kitsa Jul 23rd, 2011 02:16 PM

Is it wrong to be a little sad that Amy Winehouse died? :(

k0k0 Jul 23rd, 2011 02:25 PM

I didn't know she died. I don't follow pop culture or anything. But it's not wrong to be sad, even though it was very expected.

Fathom Zero Jul 23rd, 2011 02:43 PM

I feel indifferent.

k0k0 Jul 23rd, 2011 03:00 PM

Oh I honestly don't care. She was a hot mess from what I hear. Hopefully she doesn't turn into a ghost because I'd feel bad for anyone who gets haunted by that thing.

Tadao Jul 23rd, 2011 03:32 PM

I like her music and would put my dick in her, even more so now that she's dead.

creeposaurus Jul 23rd, 2011 03:34 PM

Only 27, poor girl.

Pentegarn Jul 23rd, 2011 03:40 PM

Not too shocked though, she had a song where she basically said 'fuck rehab', that sort of attitude will only get you dead from an overdose.

Pentegarn Jul 23rd, 2011 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by k0k0 (Post 733335)
Oh I honestly don't care. She was a hot mess from what I hear. Hopefully she doesn't turn into a ghost because I'd feel bad for anyone who gets haunted by that thing.

I heard they tried to make her haunt the rehab and she said "no no no"

Shrubfest Jul 23rd, 2011 03:47 PM

I'm pretty happy actually. She was a role model for youth. Good way to get the anti drug message across considering the flagrant disregard for laws and rehab. Also stops the whole business whilst people can still romanticise her as 'tragic'.

Chojin Jul 23rd, 2011 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThrashO (Post 733288)
I miss kahljorn and his all caps noob-style posts :(

Can I turn in all my pickles for a get out of jail free card for him? :(

i was actually thinking about talking with rog about ending his ban and then today he starts up again

this was not even close to the first time i've moved posts to the chat thread after people have deliberately (or accidentally) ruined other threads. he's got some sort of vendetta with me, and specifically with me helping people. perhaps because he feels undesirable and beyond help himself? 9 out of 10 armchair psychologists agree! oh god i shouldn't have provoked him here come more accounts with names at my expense lawdy lawdy

anyway since he had to go ahead and break pretty much all of our banning rules to make his hirsute point, now i rly can't unban him even if i wanted to, for the same reason we couldn't unban jixby years ago

it's worth mentioning that if the boards were mine all mine and we were 100% about being funny on the internet, i wouldn't have banned him in the first place. i think he's a funny guy, if a little angsty.

Kitsa Jul 23rd, 2011 03:48 PM

Didn't she actually bump cocaine off a knuckle whilst performing? She took it out of her beehive in a hollow bullet or something like that.

Tadao Jul 23rd, 2011 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shrubfest (Post 733348)
I'm pretty happy actually. She was a role model for youth. Good way to get the anti drug message across considering the flagrant disregard for laws and rehab. Also stops the whole business whilst people can still romanticise her as 'tragic'.

So, you get married and turn 80yo in less than a year. :(

Also it would appear that the herpes I contracted from her has gone to limited edition.

Grislygus Jul 23rd, 2011 04:46 PM

Wait, what, it's a PERMANENT ban?! whaaaaaaaaat

what

what, shit


i was going to make a joke about the Willie cult being FOILED BY PARANORMAL INVESTIGATORS but this is a bad day now, I thought it was a timed ban that his dumb ass kept extending. Maybe he thought the same???

Tadao Jul 23rd, 2011 05:04 PM

Gus, have some respect you faggot. We are talking about a surprisingly dead heroin addict who everyone loved to hate.

Grislygus Jul 23rd, 2011 05:09 PM

Fuck THAT, I don't even know what the hell songs she did, why would i care

the only reason people like me know who she is is due to people cracking jokes about her being a boozy celebrislut as if she's the only one in existence

Grislygus Jul 23rd, 2011 05:12 PM

even my real life friends are SHOCKED I don't magically know who she is now that she's suddenly dead

Tadao Jul 23rd, 2011 05:28 PM


:Page Breivik

Tadao Jul 23rd, 2011 05:30 PM

:(

Kitsa Jul 23rd, 2011 05:56 PM

If kahl were permabanned, I would miss him :(

Fathom Zero Jul 23rd, 2011 06:00 PM

I have to agree with Kahl on that one, actually.

I've made a number of srs business topics that have funny things posted in them, but it never detracted from said srs business.

k0k0 Jul 23rd, 2011 06:25 PM

I really did think you should be unbanned, but you're really digging yourself down there pretty deep coming in with multiple accounts.

Tadao Jul 23rd, 2011 06:54 PM

THISISHOWWEDOIT

Chojin Jul 23rd, 2011 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigvaginachojina (Post 733376)
YOURE BANNED FOR POSRTING CHEESEBURGERS IN THIS THREAD

BY THE WAY IF IT WERE UP TO ME YOU WOULDNT BE BANNED

:lol

if you recall correctly, i didn't move anything until you were up to about 9 off-topic posts in the thread

and then i moved everyone's posts, not just yours

i just ate a 1/2 pound double cheeseburger from wendy's btw. feels good man.

i didn't say if it was up to me you wouldn't be banned. i said if this was a different forum which allowed that kind of shit i wouldn't have banned you.

:dealwithit


Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 733380)
I have to agree with Kahl on that one, actually.

I've made a number of srs business topics that have funny things posted in them, but it never detracted from said srs business.

there were about 25 posts derailing the thread (in a thread with less than 50 on-topic posts), about half of which were intentional efforts from kahl because he thought it would be funny (being generous here). that's fine; i just moved them. he continued to do it. i gave him infractions each time. after 3 infractions, you get banned for 1 day. if you circumvent a ban, you're supposed to get a lifetime ban. i gave him a 1 week ban instead every time he came back. after about 5 extensions, it just got easier to put it on permanent like i was supposed to to begin with.

yeah, i'm an unreasonable monster with a vendetta against trannies.

Fathom Zero Jul 23rd, 2011 08:14 PM

Hey, Big Boss Man, I only thought that one bit was funny. The multiple accounts are dee-you-emm-bee.

VANDETTA

VANDETTA

ThrashO Jul 23rd, 2011 08:24 PM

GATTACA MAN!!! GATTACA!!!

ItalianStereotype Jul 23rd, 2011 08:46 PM

kay

ItalianStereotype Jul 23rd, 2011 08:47 PM

man, why don't you just wait a week or something and just appeal the ban. fat threads and cheeseburgers aren't super important.

King Hadas Jul 23rd, 2011 09:06 PM

khaljorn is too good to be brought low by something as pedestrian as a "banning".

And as for Amy Winehouse, to bad she's dead I thought she was pretty cool.

Chojin Jul 23rd, 2011 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fatvaginachojina (Post 733422)
First off, you banned me at about 12 posts.

yes, this is exactly what i said happened. 25 posts were moved, about half of which were yours (12.5).

Quote:

Secondly, you deleted most of them
no i didn't

Quote:

Thirdly, i dont think you moved most of my posts anyway
yes i did; they're in this thread if either you or i cared to look, which neither of us does

Grislygus Jul 23rd, 2011 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ItalianStereotype (Post 733430)
man, why don't you just wait a week or something and just appeal the ban. fat threads and cheeseburgers aren't super important.

this. except wait the monthlong ban time out of consideration before appealing.

seriously, just quit spazzing. The only reason you're banned is because you insist on making ONE MOD move your posts every three seconds, and keep coming before the ban runs out with the express purpose of being a pain in the ass and making him do more pointless modwork. Wait out the original month and then appeal and promise not to be a pain in the ass and leave the damn fitness thread alone

Tadao Jul 23rd, 2011 10:34 PM

STOP RABBLEROUSING!

Grislygus Jul 23rd, 2011 10:36 PM

and I know we're talking a perma-ban here, but honestly this isn't on the level of Rongi going off the deep end of the asshole pool, this isn't noob3 and jixby specifically AGREEING to a direct (and unfortunate) ban possibility though participation that we set up to fuck over flaky new people; this is a first time, and presumably one time only, random queen-level hissy fit from poster that we definitely want around. I mean hell, I hate forums. I think they're retarded. I've been posting here for 5 years because the other people who post here make me crack up all the time. Khaljorn's one of the guys, and it would be terrible if he was gone FOREVER AND EVER. Obviously he broke the rules twelve times over and (more importantly) is just causing pointless busywork, but other than the absolute neverbreak NSFW rule we do NOT seem to be []primarily[/i]rules-driven as long as a poster isn't being annoying, and it would be nice if khaljorn could be unbanned once he calms the hell down. Just wouldn't be the same without him.

Grislygus Jul 23rd, 2011 10:39 PM

also screw you kahl for making me get involved in A SRS BUSINESS CONVERSATION ON THE INTERNET, SERIOUSLY AND FOR SERIOUS. YOU JUST MEAN THAT MUCH TO ME

Fathom Zero Jul 23rd, 2011 10:41 PM

what are we even doing


Grislygus Jul 23rd, 2011 10:45 PM

what is the sound of one hand clapping

Chojin Jul 24th, 2011 12:33 AM

like i said, i really don't have a problem with the guy, even though he seems to have one with me. it wasn't my intention to keep him banned forever; it's just easier than adding a week every time he circumvents a ban, which is pretty much every day. when he's had enough of a time out, i'll talk to rog about it and get him unbanned because he's been here forever and usually contributes.

ThrashO Jul 24th, 2011 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 733457)
and I know we're talking a perma-ban here, but honestly this isn't on the level of Rongi going off the deep end of the asshole pool, this isn't noob3 and jixby specifically AGREEING to a direct (and unfortunate) ban possibility though participation that we set up to fuck over flaky new people; this is a first time, and presumably one time only, random queen-level hissy fit from poster that we definitely want around. I mean hell, I hate forums. I think they're retarded. I've been posting here for 5 years because the other people who post here make me crack up all the time. Khaljorn's one of the guys, and it would be terrible if he was gone FOREVER AND EVER. Obviously he broke the rules twelve times over and (more importantly) is just causing pointless busywork, but other than the absolute neverbreak NSFW rule we do NOT seem to be []primarily[/i]rules-driven as long as a poster isn't being annoying, and it would be nice if khaljorn could be unbanned once he calms the hell down. Just wouldn't be the same without him.

i posted that, gus stole it fom me

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 24th, 2011 01:38 AM

FREE KAHL.

k0k0 Jul 24th, 2011 01:54 AM

I read all of 10k's posts in the voice of Jon Benjamin.

Esuohlim Jul 24th, 2011 01:59 AM

I agree with Gus. I've been avoiding deleting/moving kahl's posts not only because it seems like a situation for Chojin to personally handle, but also because I really do still want him around.

This place has totally always been about bending the rules for regulars. I'm not going to pretend that it isn't, because this place would totally suck if we didn't do exactly that all the time. All the best posters around here break the rules all the time because the rest know that their presence on the forums is completely worth it. Homophobic remarks, thread derailments, hounding members, worthless replies, I'm guilty of all that shit on a weekly basis. So are all my favorite people here.

THE POINT I GUESS is that kahl's worth keeping around once this shit stops :( I still wish Rongi and Jixby would come back, but they can't possibly be interested in this place anymore

Tadao Jul 24th, 2011 03:13 AM

I AGREE

Tadao Jul 24th, 2011 03:14 AM


Tadao Jul 24th, 2011 03:30 AM

ASKING KAHL NOT TO RABBLEROUSE HE SAID A NO NO NO

Sam Jul 24th, 2011 03:40 AM

I ASKED JIXBY TO COME BACK TO IMOCKERY AND HE SAID A NO NO NO

k0k0 Jul 24th, 2011 03:51 AM

THOUGHT ABOUT JOINING THIS BANDWAGON AND I SAID NO NO NO

damnit

Esuohlim Jul 24th, 2011 04:15 AM

k0k0 if you derail the thread like that again you'll be permanently banned. We play by the rules here

k0k0 Jul 24th, 2011 04:17 AM


executioneer Jul 24th, 2011 05:31 AM

CHEESEBURGER, BANNED

Kitsa Jul 24th, 2011 05:59 AM

I was going to make the pickles on top red but I'm so tired I can't see my photoshop menu right so I sort of made them orange and then purple and then said fuck it.

Phoenix Gamma Jul 24th, 2011 06:05 AM

Just got back from Florida after a 4 hour delay. Fuck JetBlue.

Final verdict:
Epcot is awesome...if you're five. Otherwise, it's boring, and actually really outdated. It's really fun for food, though; you can take a bus from one of the other parks to Epcot then eat at a different country every night. But aside from food, Epcot really, really sucks.

Hollywood Studios (formerly MGM) is probably the best park. The animation studio is fun for cartoonists like me to ooh and aaah at (lots of production art from older movies), and the rides are just plain better (Aerosmith's ride is still my favorite. Went on it 4 times this week). The new Star Tours ride is really great if you remember the original (there's a funny scene where the old pilot steps out and C3P0 accidentally becomes the new pilot). It's a way cooler ride.

Universal Studios is like Disney, but none of the employees are happy. Or good at faking happy. The X-Men were riding around on mopeds and they weren't even hamming it up. Meanwhile, the Magic Kingdom has an opening ceremony every day at 9AM that ends with fireworks. Universal's really just a bunch of dicks. Though the Simpsons and Harry Potter rides were really good.

There was a beauty pageant going on at my hotel. I was talking to one of the contestants. She was really pretty. And taller than me even though I'm 6'. Then I realized it was a TEEN pageant and went back to my room :(

OH AND NO ONE IN FLORIDA SAYS "EXCUSE ME". FUCKING PEOPLE BUMPING INTO ME AND SHIT AND DON'T SAY A DAMN THING. FUCK. >: >: >:

ALSO GODDAMN THAT'S A BIG CHEESEBURGER. LOOK HOW HAPPY HE IS.

Kitsa Jul 24th, 2011 08:44 AM

I would happily take your Epcot vacation and have a blast reliving my childhood.


I-MAAAAAAAAAAA-gin-a-tion, I-MAAAAAAAA-gin-a-tion.

:figment

Kitsa Jul 24th, 2011 09:12 AM

Who wants a free ham?

Omaha Steaks has a deal today where you get a free ham and free shipping. Go to this link:

linky linky link link

Add one beef stick to your cart ($2).

Free shipping, free ham, one beef stick, two bucks.

You're welcome.

We don't eat ham, so I'm going to use mine to make friends.

Fathom Zero Jul 24th, 2011 09:27 AM

:O Thanks! I just passed it along to my mum whom promptly ordered. :D

Pentegarn Jul 24th, 2011 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by k0k0 (Post 733501)

I saw Man Vs. Food try to eat that burger.

Food won that time

ThrashO Jul 24th, 2011 12:49 PM

Well look those pickles are about as much food as a regular cheeseburger!

Fathom Zero Jul 24th, 2011 01:45 PM


MarioRPG Jul 24th, 2011 02:41 PM

I think it's very curteous of them to provide an entire roll of paper towels with that burger.

k0k0 Jul 24th, 2011 02:47 PM

I don't think it's smart to wear a white shirt when planning on engorging yourself in a burger that big.

Esuohlim Jul 24th, 2011 03:26 PM

Magic Johnson let himself go :(

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 24th, 2011 03:28 PM

That burger looks so good. Is that Biz Markee?

Chojin Jul 24th, 2011 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 733517)
Who wants a free ham?

Omaha Steaks has a deal today where you get a free ham and free shipping. Go to this link:

linky linky link link

Add one beef stick to your cart ($2).

Free shipping, free ham, one beef stick, two bucks.

You're welcome.

We don't eat ham, so I'm going to use mine to make friends.

ty kitsa <3<3<3<3

Tadao Jul 24th, 2011 04:19 PM

The link has said that it's no longer available all morning for me, then Eric says thank you? WTF FREE HAM PEOPLE

Fathom Zero Jul 24th, 2011 04:23 PM

lol it's not there anymore

Guitar Woman Jul 24th, 2011 04:35 PM

I'd do that if it were the other way around, i.e. free beef with your ham

Then I'd throw the ham away

Esuohlim Jul 24th, 2011 04:45 PM

I wanna meet that ham

Fathom Zero Jul 24th, 2011 04:55 PM

have dates with ham

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 24th, 2011 05:01 PM



Quote:

Originally Posted by k0k0 (Post 733488)
I read all of 10k's posts in the voice of Jon Benjamin.

We both have very robotic monotone voices.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 24th, 2011 05:03 PM

edit: Hey Dude.

Tadao Jul 24th, 2011 05:05 PM


Tadao Jul 24th, 2011 05:06 PM

I KNOW I'LL GET IN TROUBLE BUT SOMEONE HAS TO RABBLEROUSE

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 24th, 2011 05:11 PM


k0k0 Jul 24th, 2011 05:13 PM

Is that a ginger beard or pretty lips?

Fathom Zero Jul 24th, 2011 05:35 PM

pretty lips :3

Kitsa Jul 24th, 2011 06:16 PM

For those of you who managed to obtain ham before Omaha Steaks realized what people were doing, glad it worked.

k0k0 Jul 24th, 2011 06:21 PM

I appreciate it. I tried, but was sadly too late. Next time free ham, next time.

Grislygus Jul 24th, 2011 06:26 PM

EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU BASTARDS BETTER CUT IT WITH THE DYLANS NIPPLES HORRORFEST NOW THAT I HAVE A TACTICAL DETERRENT


DEFINE "MUTUALLY ASSURED DESTRUCTION"

Fathom Zero Jul 24th, 2011 06:36 PM

let's see your legs again, pretty boy

Grislygus Jul 24th, 2011 06:37 PM

THAT IS THE TACTICAL DETERRENT.

ONCE AGAIN, DEFINE "MUTUALLY ASSURED DESTRUCTION"

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 24th, 2011 06:51 PM

LEG OFF TIME

Fathom Zero Jul 24th, 2011 06:51 PM

YOU'RE ARGUMENT IS FLAWED

FOR IT'S QUITE PRESUMPTUOUS OF YOU

TO THINK THAT THAT IS SOMETHING WE DON'T WANT TO SEE

MarioRPG Jul 24th, 2011 07:20 PM

YEAH SPEAK FOR YOURSELF JERKS.

creeposaurus Jul 24th, 2011 08:10 PM

I STILL WANT HAM

Kitsa Jul 24th, 2011 08:33 PM

If I had my way you'd have it. :(

They probably fired someone over that today, after they lost millions of dollars in ham and shipping.

Fathom Zero Jul 24th, 2011 08:49 PM

Yup. It's a bummer, but it'd have been just as easy to have people spend a mandatory $25 or something before you get the ham.

Kitsa Jul 24th, 2011 09:04 PM

Although the mental image of a little bar graph in a meeting room makes me giggle. Everyone was summoned immediately to explain why beef stick sales were suddenly through the roof

Chojin Jul 24th, 2011 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 733609)
Although the mental image of a little bar graph in a meeting room makes me giggle. Everyone was summoned immediately to explain why beef stick sales were suddenly through the roof

GENTLEMEN, I IMAGINE YOU'RE WONDERING WHY I CALLED THIS MEETING. HOW CAN WE MAKE MORE STICKS.

Colonel Flagg Jul 24th, 2011 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 733573)
For those of you who managed to obtain ham before Omaha Steaks realized what people were doing, glad it worked.

Next time, Kit, next time.

I will also weigh in on a vote for unbanning Mr. Jorn. If we're voting that is. Time of suspension to be determined.

Aaarg Jul 25th, 2011 12:44 PM

free calgon!

(free ham!)

Kitsa Jul 25th, 2011 04:55 PM

HAM ORDER CANCELLED! :(


Dear (Kitsa),

Thank you for shopping with Omaha Steaks. We appreciate your
interest in our company.

It has come to our attention that an individual posted one of our
mailer offers online but did not include the appropriate terms and
conditions that were published with the original offer.
Unfortunately, orders received as a result of this posting that did
not meet the terms and conditions of the offer cannot be honored. As
stated in the terms and conditions of this mailer, the free shipping
and handling plus the free ham only applies to orders that include a
main selection from the mailed offer. In reviewing your order, it
appears a main selection was not included. We regret to inform you
that your order has been cancelled.

If you would like to place an order that includes a main selection
from the mailer, please contact us at 1-800-228-9055.

Thank you for your cooperation in this matter and we apologize for
any inconvenience.

Sincerely,

Jamie Toledo
Consumer Services Manager
Omaha Steaks



Well, that sucks :( I got the info from a sister-in-law, who got her info from a coupon-clipping site, so that must be where the trouble originated :(

I'm sorry, guys.

I'd be all mad and boycott omaha steaks now but I can't afford any of their stuff anyway.

k0k0 Jul 25th, 2011 05:00 PM

Well that smells like a false advertising lawsuit from a bunch of coupon cutters.

Kitsa Jul 25th, 2011 05:03 PM

If it's any consolation, we got Omaha steaks as a gift once and they weren't anything special.

Tadao Jul 25th, 2011 05:05 PM



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