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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Rongi Aug 22nd, 2011 06:22 PM

the wire is the best show ever

Rongi Aug 22nd, 2011 06:23 PM

kahljorn what's with you and cocks lately, man

Kitsa Aug 22nd, 2011 06:33 PM

I think everyone should use their skills to make a cock at some point. I did it.

Shrubfest Aug 22nd, 2011 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 739161)
shrubfest you should sew yourself a cock

Will a moustache do?


k0k0 Aug 22nd, 2011 07:35 PM

I would use my JO crystal on that dude. I bet I'd get powered up quick.

kahljorn Aug 22nd, 2011 08:00 PM

thats pretty hot. if you stuff a sock in your pants we can sew cocks all night long

Rongi Aug 22nd, 2011 08:02 PM

SPEAKING OF SEWING

I'm making a roast duck for dinner (THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'LL BE ABLE TO COOK FOR A REALLY LONG TIME :( ) and I had to sew it's asshole shut because I stuffed it with sausage and apples

ITS GOING TO BE DELICIOUS I HOPE YOU ARE JEALOUS YOUR JEALOUSY MAKES IT TASTE EVEN BETTER

kahljorn Aug 22nd, 2011 08:06 PM

sausage and duck eh?

thats gun be one greasy son of a bitch

kahljorn Aug 22nd, 2011 08:07 PM

maybe that should read sausage and dick

what the hells with you and cocks lately rongi

Rongi Aug 22nd, 2011 08:15 PM

lol kahljorn you still got it bud ;(

Rongi Aug 22nd, 2011 08:16 PM

I didn't know duck was greasy. I've only had it like once before. This is my first time cooking it.

k0k0 Aug 22nd, 2011 08:16 PM

It's pretty greasy. More greasy than chicken or turkey.

Rongi Aug 22nd, 2011 08:19 PM

Welp, this duck better be good I paid like 20+ dollars for it

Kitsa Aug 22nd, 2011 08:25 PM

confit that shit

Rongi Aug 22nd, 2011 08:39 PM

I'm roasting it using a Julia Child recipe. Julia Child has never done me wrong (except for that one time I made salmon quenelles and they came out super gross but that was probably my fault for using too much heavy cream)

Esuohlim Aug 22nd, 2011 11:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rongi (Post 739162)
the wire is the best show ever

YOU NIGGAS ARE GIVING TOO MANY DAMN 40-DEGREE DAYS

Fathom Zero Aug 23rd, 2011 03:15 AM


Fathom Zero Aug 23rd, 2011 04:23 AM

SEE THE DWARVES AND SEE THE GIANTS. WHICH ONE WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO BE?

kahljorn Aug 23rd, 2011 04:26 AM

so how was your dick, rongi?

Rongi Aug 23rd, 2011 04:57 AM

It was ok :/

Tanuki Aug 23rd, 2011 02:09 PM

I found a mushroom but I don't know what kind it is. I'm just gonna toss it out once I found out what kind.

HickMan Aug 23rd, 2011 03:26 PM

When I get out of the Army I think I'm going to experiement with 'shrooms. Anyone ever do it? Good experiences? Bad experiences?

kahljorn Aug 23rd, 2011 03:32 PM

YOU SHOULD POST THAT IN THRASHOS NONSENSE THREAD

HickMan Aug 23rd, 2011 03:44 PM

Bro, this is almost the only thread I ever post in.

Fathom Zero Aug 23rd, 2011 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HickMan (Post 739272)
When I get out of the Army I think I'm going to experiement with 'shrooms. Anyone ever do it? Good experiences? Bad experiences?

I give them a thumbs up, based on my (very very) limited experience. The ones I got tasted like shit and I'm told that's a common thing. I suppose it would have to.

Just don't eat anything stupid.

HickMan Aug 23rd, 2011 03:47 PM

EXCLUSIVELY

kahljorn Aug 23rd, 2011 04:01 PM

ive taken them before but never really gotten really fucked up ;/ but it put me in an amazing mood and i had some minor hallucinations

HickMan Aug 23rd, 2011 04:11 PM

I either hear stories like yours, kahl, or ones that are the polar opposite. A buddy of mine took them for the first time and tripped balls for 17 hours straight. Now, I'm down for a good time, but 17 hours is a little excessive.

I'd like to find a happy middle-gound. Like the kind Bill Hicks took and got to speak to aliens.

kahljorn Aug 23rd, 2011 04:12 PM

if you want to talk to aliens smoke some dmt :lol

i dont really know how he tripped 17 hours :( he must've taken a lot or eaten some grapefruit with it or some shit

HickMan Aug 23rd, 2011 04:25 PM

Yeah I'm pretty sure he took a hefty dosage. Oh well, I guess the only way to find out is try it out myself! I'll let you faggots know how it goes here in about nine months.

kahljorn Aug 23rd, 2011 04:26 PM

good luck with your baby

HickMan Aug 23rd, 2011 04:49 PM

"like"

Kitsa Aug 23rd, 2011 04:53 PM

It's shaped like a puffball in its mushroomy stage, but doesn't have spikes like one. I have no idea wtf it is but I'd advise against tasting it, unidentified mushrooms scare the shit out of me.

executioneer Aug 23rd, 2011 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HickMan (Post 739272)
When I get out of the Army I think I'm going to experiement with 'shrooms. Anyone ever do it? Good experiences? Bad experiences?

i had two (basically) good experiences

my cousin had one good experience and one where he had a psychotic break and had to go to a mental hospital for a few weeks

Tadao Aug 23rd, 2011 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tanuki (Post 739267)
I found a mushroom but I don't know what kind it is. I'm just gonna toss it out once I found out what kind.

Put it next to your cleavage and I'll tell you what species of mushroom that is.

Fathom Zero Aug 23rd, 2011 06:13 PM

I'm working for the cash machine. Fuck this bullshit. >:

Tadao Aug 23rd, 2011 06:31 PM

HAHAHAH FUCK YOU EAST COAST! WESTSIDE FOR LIFE NIGGAS!

Tadao Aug 23rd, 2011 06:44 PM

I hope Babs shitty little trailer house fell off of its blocks and rolled into a gas line and then blew up and then he lives but suffers from 3rd degree burns all over his body and then his girlfriend puts a bullet in his head because fuck that guy.

Tadao Aug 23rd, 2011 07:07 PM

"IF THE EARTHQUAKE DON'T GETCHA THEN THE HURRICANE WILL"

Jerry Garcia - R.I.P.

Guitar Woman Aug 23rd, 2011 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus
blah blah channel awesome what hath man wrought etc.

Linkara is basically awful, yes. So's every other contributor to that place.

I've laughed at a select few Nostalgia Critic videos, but that was a while ago.

Rongi Aug 23rd, 2011 08:47 PM

I woke up this afternoon to my bed being shook around

Man fuck you, earthquake. Can't a brother sleep in once in a while?

Fathom Zero Aug 23rd, 2011 11:53 PM

I'm homeless.


Tadao Aug 24th, 2011 01:11 AM

seriously? have you googled shelters for your area yet?

Sam Aug 24th, 2011 01:13 AM

ANOTHER WOMTI, DEAR FUCKING LORD SAVE US.

Zomboid Aug 24th, 2011 01:18 AM

I'm sure his mom knows several respectable men in the area who'll give at least her shelter for the evening, so long as she brings a bottle of Jim Beam and an overnight bag.

kahljorn Aug 24th, 2011 01:42 AM

you can always join the circus

:/

Rongi Aug 24th, 2011 01:43 AM

Start listening to Discharge and sew patches all over your clothes. Also get a dog with rope leash

Sam Aug 24th, 2011 01:50 AM

Mug Rongi

Fathom Zero Aug 24th, 2011 02:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 739345)
seriously? have you googled shelters for your area yet?

I exaggerated slightly. We are about a month away from being homeless. I'm looking into things and we have some good friends that we haven't asked yet, but would be more than willing to help us out.

I was supposed to go to school, but that doesn't look like it's going to pan out this semester. My mum's fiance skipped out on her and she's in a situation where that is really really inadequate, so we're gonna stick here in this apartment as long as we can. But even if I have a 40+ hour a week job, we can't afford to live here, nor can we really move.

My mum is trying her ass off to get a multi-thousand dollar promotion at work right now, so things are in limbo. She's one of five people being considered and easily the most qualified, but someone in a position of power at her job is trying to exert some force against her. It's really fucking pathetic. Moreover, she drives an hour and a half to work, so it's killing us. In the meantime, my grandparents are helping us out a bit and I've been selling some of my shit that I don't want anymore. I have too many things, anyway.

Srsly, the world is fucked. People can't afford to live anymore, if they were ever able to begin with.

Forgive me if I'm not online in the near future - the cable/internet package is going to get nixed.

k0k0 Aug 24th, 2011 02:27 AM

Hope things work out fathom. I was homeless at pretty recently for about 6 months and it's no fun. Do whatever you can do to keep from getting to that point though, because once you're homeless, it's hard to get out of it.

executioneer Aug 24th, 2011 02:30 AM

:( thats turrible :(

Shyandquietguy Aug 24th, 2011 02:32 AM

Almost homeless? Well I've been there kiddo, it's no walk in the park yessiree. I personally can't believe I made it without my five cycle baths.

PS: I don't mean this as an attack. ;(

Fathom Zero Aug 24th, 2011 02:35 AM

I've already been once before. It happens. :\ That one's a funny story, though - one that involves attempted murder, divorce, and fleeing from the police. :lol

I can't stress enough the importance of having good friends and a close family. Everybody needs help sometimes and you need to be there for them as much as you may need them to be there for you, much as it disgusts me to say something that sappy.

Zomboid Aug 24th, 2011 02:37 AM

Oh, you were serious.

Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

Fathom Zero Aug 24th, 2011 02:37 AM

I'll have a picture for you in a minute, Grislygumps, in case you see this. I had to find a cord for my scanner.

Fathom Zero Aug 24th, 2011 02:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zomboid (Post 739360)
Oh, you were serious.

Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

:lol

:picklehat

:tear

Rongi Aug 24th, 2011 02:49 AM

Oh man FZ

Oh man I feel like a dick for making a stupid joke at your expense :(

I'm sorry man

Sam Aug 24th, 2011 02:50 AM

I regret nothing.

Fathom Zero Aug 24th, 2011 02:51 AM

I'd feel bad if you didn't.

Esuohlim Aug 24th, 2011 03:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shyandquietguy (Post 739358)
Well I've been there kiddo, it's no walk in the park yessiree.

MORE LIKE IT'S NOTHING BUT WALKS IN THE PARK :lol

Sam Aug 24th, 2011 03:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 739367)
MORE LIKE IT'S NOTHING BUT WALKS IN THE PARK :lol

WALKINGS AND SLEEPINGS AND BATHING IN THE FOUNTAININGS

Grislygus Aug 24th, 2011 04:05 AM

FATHOM I HARDLY THINK THAT A SCANNER CORD IS YOUR TOP PRIORITY

Wiffles Aug 24th, 2011 04:15 AM

you homeless guys should try living in a car.. Extra points if you have a van...

Get free internet in the library or whenever you get a signal. Take showers in gyms and dont need to worry bout rent =>

Fathom Zero Aug 24th, 2011 04:28 AM

wifflys you're so silly

:lol

Shyandquietguy Aug 24th, 2011 04:41 AM

Every day is a night with the stars!

executioneer Aug 24th, 2011 05:15 AM

it's like going camping all the time!

Esuohlim Aug 24th, 2011 05:23 AM

A friend of mine lived in her car for almost two straight weeks after her lease was up. She absolutely loved it. She went to work, spent her evenings in the library, and parked in the corner of a giant commuter lot to sleep. She took showers in a residence hall community bathroom and lived on Jimmy Johns sandwiches.

Wiffles Aug 24th, 2011 05:42 AM

yeah it isnt that bad.. honestly, anyone should at least try it once

Fathom Zero Aug 24th, 2011 06:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 739393)
A friend of mine lived in her car for almost two straight weeks after her lease was up. She absolutely loved it. She went to work, spent her evenings in the library, and parked in the corner of a giant commuter lot to sleep. She took showers in a residence hall community bathroom and lived on Jimmy Johns sandwiches.

All of that was actually my plan when I go back to school.

kahljorn Aug 24th, 2011 07:08 AM

get on fnancial aid at school dude. that would help with rent :(

goto the welfare office, especially if you become homeless. They have programs to help you get back into a place.
They also have rent assistance.

Fathom Zero Aug 24th, 2011 10:20 AM

Don Carlson sent me a message on Youtube expressing his deepest sympathies.

It's extremely uncomfortable for me to receive pity or well-wishes of people because of my circumstances. You've all made me feel like shit.

How can you live with yourselves?

Fathom Zero Aug 24th, 2011 11:14 AM

Just found out definitively that I won't be going to school this semester. Woohoo!

Kitsa Aug 24th, 2011 11:43 AM

life can really kick you in the balls sometimes :( I'd send money if I had any, if that means anything.

Fathom Zero Aug 24th, 2011 12:01 PM

I APPRECIATE THE SENTIMENTS

Tadao Aug 24th, 2011 12:23 PM

:pagebrak

Hey FZ, let's see a pic of you mom. Maybe something can be worked out. ;)

Fathom Zero Aug 24th, 2011 12:25 PM

There's one lying around the internet. I'LL LEAVE IT TO YOUR INTERNET DETECTIVE SKILLS TO FIND IT.

Tadao Aug 24th, 2011 12:58 PM

too lazy :(

Tadao Aug 24th, 2011 01:09 PM

I know one thing people overlook is food banks. 1 person can get a weeks worth of food a month with their SS#. If there are more than 1 food banks you can go to each one once a month.

Fathom Zero Aug 24th, 2011 01:21 PM

We do that. Some of the stuff you get there's pretty scary, though, like the blank aluminum can with the words "PORK & WATER PRODUCT" stamped on it. :lol

The canned peaches are delicious, to be honest. But it's hard to do peaches wrong.

Tadao Aug 24th, 2011 01:35 PM

Yeah, I used to walk to the food bank with my army backpack. I'd go though the bags as soon as I got them and re-donate the crazy ass shit they give you. :eek

Kitsa Aug 24th, 2011 03:21 PM

I tried to donate to a soup kitchen once, and the priest was a sarcastic bastard because he thought it was a small amount of stuff. I'd saved and saved and bought nice stuff from Sam's because I know that people donate some crazy shit. So I had like one case of spaghetti noodles and one of those flats of Prego spaghetti sauce and something else, and he was an ass to me and I decided not to do it again.

But at least whoever went there got a couple of meals of name brand stuff.

Tadao Aug 24th, 2011 04:17 PM

Kitsa : Is the place you live in a magnet for fucktards, or are you an overly critical self loathing paranoid manic depressive?

Take it how you want, the thing is, you have steadily become more and more chaotic.

Zomboid Aug 24th, 2011 04:43 PM

No shit. MY GOOD DEED WAS SULLIED BY SOMEONE'S CURTNESS!

FZ, BRAW, the basement flooded at my mom's house, and some of my old stuff got ruined :(. My old N64 games are destroyed. I know how you feel in these harsh times.

Sam Aug 24th, 2011 05:37 PM

Did the priest try to molest your child?

Kitsa Aug 24th, 2011 06:19 PM

no molestation, the priest was just an asshole, and the deed stands regardless of what the asshole did. More of an anecdote than anything, although a priest being a total asshat is hardly news.

I think it's a combination of the fucktard thing and of me hating people more and becoming more of a recluse with every fucktard I encounter.

Edit: my major problem with that whole situation was that they demanded that the priest be there to "recieve" it when I just wanted to drop it off and be done with it.

Fucktard being a relative term and applicable to anyone who isn't yourself because by GOD you are a fucking paragon of wisdom and intellect etc etc etc.

Tadao Aug 24th, 2011 06:22 PM

So, my buddy of 30 years has a tutle blog. :rolleyes

Givemhellbrah

http://mail2world.com/blog/ninjaturtle@mail2samurai.com

Kitsa Aug 24th, 2011 06:25 PM

he's YOUR buddy.

Tadao Aug 24th, 2011 06:28 PM

yeah, we grew up together he needs a kick in the balls

Supafly345 Aug 24th, 2011 07:52 PM


Fathom Zero Aug 24th, 2011 07:55 PM

That's my friend's favorite video ever. :lol

k0k0 Aug 24th, 2011 08:54 PM

When I was homeless, I hopped in the food stamp line. It only took a couple weeks and I was able to go into stores and use my food stamps to get food. Well, here it's called a lonestar card, but same deal.

As for places to stay, there's always places being built and worked on. Of course that'll get you trespassing if you're not fast enough to run when you're discovered. I didn't like sleeping in a park or anything. There's shelters here to sleep at but you gotta get there early to get a room each night.

HickMan Aug 25th, 2011 04:15 AM

I'm moving to Austin in a year. I'll be joining you in abandoned buildings.

ItalianStereotype Aug 25th, 2011 06:47 AM

when you move here, come down to san antonio and visit me. we can eat tacos y burritos.

Tadao Aug 25th, 2011 12:29 PM

y Pace Picante Sauce

Fathom Zero Aug 25th, 2011 12:32 PM

http://simplyrecipes.com/recipes/beef_tacos_de_lengua/

:yum

10,000 Volt Ghost Aug 25th, 2011 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zomboid (Post 739443)
No shit. MY GOOD DEED WAS SULLIED BY SOMEONE'S CURTNESS!

FZ, BRAW, the basement flooded at my mom's house, and some of my old stuff got ruined :(. My old N64 games are destroyed. I know how you feel in these harsh times.


:( :( :(

RIP CONKERS, REVENGE AND SMASH BROTHERS.

I'm only assuming you had these games and that they were destroyed by mother nature.

Rongi Aug 25th, 2011 04:04 PM

You guys I moved to college today

It's raining hard as fuck so I'm just stuck in my dorm and no one else is here

This kind of sucks so far

Tadao Aug 25th, 2011 04:13 PM

Wait till you try to find a job based on your educational expertise. :lol

Rongi Aug 25th, 2011 04:15 PM

I majored in something good though! Neuroscience! The world needs neurologists, they don't need creative writing majors

Oh who am I kidding I'm probably going to be just as broke as all y'all ;(

Tadao Aug 25th, 2011 04:23 PM

:pagebrak

Will you get pussy?


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