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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Grislygus Oct 12th, 2011 11:28 PM

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to distract from and ignore Hickman. MY GIRLFRIEND SENT ME A PICTURE OF ME SLEEPING. IS THIS CREEPY OR NOT. I THINK IT'S CREEPY BUT SHE'S HOT. SO NEGATED CREEPY?

Fathom Zero Oct 12th, 2011 11:31 PM

text cock pics to her

no face, though

that's a rookie move

Grislygus Oct 12th, 2011 11:34 PM

She damn well already knows what my cock looks like

k0k0 Oct 12th, 2011 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 746510)
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to distract from and ignore Hickman. MY GIRLFRIEND SENT ME A PICTURE OF ME SLEEPING. IS THIS CREEPY OR NOT. I THINK IT'S CREEPY BUT SHE'S HOT. SO NEGATED CREEPY?

I've taken pictures of my girlfriend sleeping, and then photoshopped things into it that were silly. It's creepy.

Grislygus Oct 12th, 2011 11:41 PM

I'm definitely getting 'Play Misty For Me' vibes from it, and the fact that my sleeping face looks totally stab-able in the picture doesn't help

Fathom Zero Oct 12th, 2011 11:43 PM

text knife pics to her

no face, though

Grislygus Oct 12th, 2011 11:58 PM

WHY WOULD I DO ANYTHING TO GIVE HER IDEAS



BEST PLAN EVER

kahljorn Oct 12th, 2011 11:59 PM

send her a picture of your penis as though it were a knife and tell her you're going to stab her in the vagina

in self-defense

Grislygus Oct 13th, 2011 12:01 AM

SO would that mean I photoshop my hand gripping my dick like a knife, or photoshopping it onto a knife handle

k0k0 Oct 13th, 2011 12:03 AM

Photoshop your arm onto your cock and then a small knife into your cock's hand.

Grislygus Oct 13th, 2011 12:06 AM

YES

Esuohlim Oct 13th, 2011 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 330574)
I just found out that my friend's uncle was the guy that got stabbed in the Real World sketch on Chappelle's Show :eek

lol

This sounds totally made up. I wish I could remember who I was talking about :(

10,000 Volt Ghost Oct 13th, 2011 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 746510)
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to distract from and ignore Hickman. MY GIRLFRIEND SENT ME A PICTURE OF ME SLEEPING. IS THIS CREEPY OR NOT. I THINK IT'S CREEPY BUT SHE'S HOT. SO NEGATED CREEPY?

I do that to my girlfriend when I try and tell her she's sleeping and snoring and she tries to tell me she's just resting her eyes.

Esuohlim Oct 13th, 2011 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 746512)
She damn well already knows what my cock looks like

BUT WE DON'T, GUS

WE DON'T

MAYBE PUB LOVER DOES THOUGH :(

Grislygus Oct 13th, 2011 12:41 AM

HE SURE AS HELL DOESN'T

Fathom Zero Oct 13th, 2011 12:43 AM

I'm sure he's created numerous photo-realistic composites.

Grislygus Oct 13th, 2011 12:48 AM

LIKE THE ICELANDIC SCULPTURES OF CTULHU, THE AWE-INSPIRING, TERRIBLE GREATNESS CAN ONLY BE VAGUELY HINTED AT


MY COCK SENDS THE UNWORTHY STRAIGHT TO FUCKING AZATHOTH

Fathom Zero Oct 13th, 2011 12:54 AM

It crooks to the right.

LordSappington Oct 13th, 2011 02:38 AM

Some lady came in to the deli today, with a helper dog. My co-worker immediately blurted out "Why do you have a dog? You don't look blind."
Holy fuck. He's said all kinds of dumb shit, but I've never actually been embarrassed by him before that.

Kitsa Oct 13th, 2011 07:48 AM

Helper, sic balls.

LordSappington Oct 13th, 2011 09:37 AM


Zhukov Oct 13th, 2011 11:03 AM

Haha

HickMan Oct 13th, 2011 02:22 PM

It's okay that people ignore my posts. I have very little bandwidth where I go normally on this grand Afghan tour and I rarely have the opportunity to re-load pages. Just as long as some people read it and possibly get a 'heh' out of it.

ThrashO Oct 13th, 2011 04:28 PM

I just read Ligeia by Edgar Allen Poe. Like. as a book. like made out of paper. I think, i like, book. book. good. bok. i like.

Esuohlim Oct 13th, 2011 05:25 PM

Why is Jimmy Pardo's "Never Not Funny" podcast only occasionally funny? >:

Esuohlim Oct 13th, 2011 05:29 PM

Granted I only listened to the very very first five episodes, but I think Pardo is obnoxious and the other two dudes are the funny ones.

I remember watching Pardo's Comedy Central special way long ago and finding it obnoxious too. But everyone loves him! I don't get it.

Other guy: It's what they call "close betting".
Jimmy Pardo: NOW WHEN YOU SAY THAT ARE YOU SAYING "CLOTHES BETTING" BECAUSE I LIKE THE SHIRT I'VE GOT ON, THANK YOU VERY MUCH :HAHAHAHA"

He does that constantly.

10,000 Volt Ghost Oct 13th, 2011 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HickMan (Post 746628)
It's okay that people ignore my posts. I have very little bandwidth where I go normally on this grand Afghan tour and I rarely have the opportunity to re-load pages. Just as long as some people read it and possibly get a 'heh' out of it.


IT IS MY DUTY AS AN AMERICAN CITIZEN TO READ YOUR POSTS.

10,000 Volt Ghost Oct 13th, 2011 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 746641)
Granted I only listened to the very very first five episodes, but I think Pardo is obnoxious and the other two dudes are the funny ones.

I remember watching Pardo's Comedy Central special way long ago and finding it obnoxious too. But everyone loves him! I don't get it.

Other guy: It's what they call "close betting".
Jimmy Pardo: NOW WHEN YOU SAY THAT ARE YOU SAYING "CLOTHES BETTING" BECAUSE I LIKE THE SHIRT I'VE GOT ON, THANK YOU VERY MUCH :HAHAHAHA"

He does that constantly.

Thats a terrible joke but I'm not above using it either.

Fathom Zero Oct 13th, 2011 05:33 PM

I'd use it around every person I'd recently met and immediately didn't like.

Esuohlim Oct 13th, 2011 05:45 PM

There's another one too where it's like

Other guy: I swear to you, it was like the dude was lying under oath!
Jimmy Pardo: NOW WHEN YOU SAY THAT ARE YOU SAYING THAT THE GUY WAS LYING FACE-DOWN ON THE FLOOR WITH A BIG PIECE OF PAPER ON TOP OF HIM THAT JUST SAYS "OATH" IN BIG BOLD LETTERS :HAHAHAHA

This is a professional comedian we're talking about here

ThrashO Oct 13th, 2011 05:58 PM

holy shit thats terrible

NOW WHEN YOU SAY HOLY SHIT ARE WE TALKIN' ABOUT A PRIEST BLESSIN' ONE OF MY JOKES :HAHAHA

10,000 Volt Ghost Oct 13th, 2011 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 746646)
There's another one too where it's like

Other guy: I swear to you, it was like the dude was lying under oath!
Jimmy Pardo: NOW WHEN YOU SAY THAT ARE YOU SAYING THAT THE GUY WAS LYING FACE-DOWN ON THE FLOOR WITH A BIG PIECE OF PAPER ON TOP OF HIM THAT JUST SAYS "OATH" IN BIG BOLD LETTERS :HAHAHAHA

This is a professional comedian we're talking about here

Sounds more like a part time dad.

Esuohlim Oct 13th, 2011 05:59 PM

I'm totally going to be the dad that makes jokes like that all the time :(

10,000 Volt Ghost Oct 13th, 2011 06:54 PM

http://www.dadsbadjokes.com/

:(

Fathom Zero Oct 13th, 2011 09:08 PM


Rongi Oct 13th, 2011 09:35 PM

That song marks the exact time David Bowie started to suck :(

Babs Oct 13th, 2011 11:01 PM

"Oh baby just you shut your mouth"

Haven't been around here in awhile and let me say, I think of you guys. Been just really busy with a crap job as of late, hopefully in a week or less I'll be able to come back on here and post away and entertain you guys with my boring old self. TAKE LOTS OF CARE IN THE MEAN TIME!:halloween

Shyandquietguy Oct 14th, 2011 12:09 AM

Next you'll tell me you won't post again.

kahljorn Oct 14th, 2011 01:09 AM

so guys

if i pay my registration at the DMv will i get my tags right away?

or will it still come through the mail

Shyandquietguy Oct 14th, 2011 01:22 AM

They will do it by mail.

Because they hate you.

ThrashO Oct 14th, 2011 01:23 AM

kahl how old are u

Shyandquietguy Oct 14th, 2011 01:24 AM

Old enough to ignore you.

kahljorn Oct 14th, 2011 02:16 AM

YEA

so i might as well just pay this shit online then

Shyandquietguy Oct 14th, 2011 02:19 AM

So?

Pay it online so you can ignore getting them from the office.

kahljorn Oct 14th, 2011 02:31 AM

my tags are like 2 years old. so i wanted to get them from the office if there was a chance i could get them right away, to avoid being on the road with really old tags. ;/ i dont want to get pulled over.

hence why i asked if i would get them right away :(

Fathom Zero Oct 14th, 2011 02:31 AM

I petition to schedule a Synchtube for the near future.

Shyandquietguy Oct 14th, 2011 02:41 AM

Kahl, your car is old enough, buy a new one.

;(

Fathom good luck with that on the internet.

executioneer Oct 14th, 2011 04:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 746691)
my tags are like 2 years old. so i wanted to get them from the office if there was a chance i could get them right away, to avoid being on the road with really old tags. ;/ i dont want to get pulled over.

hence why i asked if i would get them right away :(

well i don't know CA but in washington they give em to you right away

ThrashO Oct 14th, 2011 04:12 AM

IF YOU TOLD ME HOW OLD U WERE I COULD TELL YOU HOW TO GET THEM RIGHT AWAY >:

kahljorn Oct 14th, 2011 04:27 AM

I FEEL AS THOUGH IM ABOUT TO BE DECIEVED

thanks willie i guess ill drive down there tomorrow and pick them up

ThrashO Oct 14th, 2011 04:42 AM

yeah i dont know shit i was just curious

>:

kahljorn Oct 14th, 2011 04:57 AM

GUESS YOULL HAVE TO WAIT FOR MY BRITHDAT

Fathom Zero Oct 14th, 2011 04:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shyandquietguy (Post 746693)
Kahl, your car is old enough, buy a new one.

;(

Fathom good luck with that on the internet.

well excuse me for trying to parlay the energy that fuels such quality posts into something probably mediocre

Esuohlim Oct 14th, 2011 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 746692)
I petition to schedule a Synchtube for the near future.

But I just readjusted to a normal sleep schedule ;_;

Esuohlim Oct 14th, 2011 10:35 AM

j/k, good night guys

Fathom Zero Oct 14th, 2011 10:51 AM

maybe you should readjust into not being a bitch

k0k0 Oct 14th, 2011 11:05 AM

I finally readjusted my sleep schedule too. It took over a week! I had to go to sleep 2 hours early each day until it finally kind of rolled back to normal.

Fathom Zero Oct 14th, 2011 11:11 AM

That's normally what happens to me, especially so when I'm at school. I've lost track of what day it is. Not really a good thing when you've got to be at a lot of different classes on different days.

executioneer Oct 14th, 2011 12:21 PM

haha i can only make dramatic adjustments to my sleep schedule by skipping sleep for a day :(

Rongi Oct 14th, 2011 03:37 PM

so there's this hawt punk rock chick in my bio class that i've been talking to lately. she's got a lip ring and long black hair and nerd glasses and she wears iggy pop t-shirts sometimes and basically i want to fuck her real bad but i haven't gotten her number yet because i'm a coward.

also she's 24 and i'm 21 does that matter

help me out here, nerds

10,000 Volt Ghost Oct 14th, 2011 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 746681)
so guys

if i pay my registration at the DMv will i get my tags right away?

or will it still come through the mail

They usually have to mail them to you because they need to be made by prisoners first.

Fathom Zero Oct 14th, 2011 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rongi (Post 746724)
so there's this hawt punk rock chick in my bio class that i've been talking to lately. she's got a lip ring and long black hair and nerd glasses and she wears iggy pop t-shirts sometimes and basically i want to fuck her real bad but i haven't gotten her number yet because i'm a coward.

also she's 24 and i'm 21 does that matter

help me out here, nerds

Do it, fgt.

10,000 Volt Ghost Oct 14th, 2011 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rongi (Post 746724)
so there's this hawt punk rock chick in my bio class that i've been talking to lately. she's got a lip ring and long black hair and nerd glasses and she wears iggy pop t-shirts sometimes and basically i want to fuck her real bad but i haven't gotten her number yet because i'm a coward.

also she's 24 and i'm 21 does that matter

help me out here, nerds

You need to wear a punk rockier shirt than her, notice her once or twice and not pay her any attention. Do you need me to drive down there and show you how its done. Cuz I'll get her number then give it to some jock.

Rongi Oct 14th, 2011 04:11 PM

I would ask for it on monday but i have class right after bio

WHAT DO I DO

Fathom Zero Oct 14th, 2011 04:15 PM

QUIT BEING A LITTLE BITCH BABY AND SAY "HEY, YOU WANNA GET SOME COFFEE LATER?"

BAM

Rongi Oct 14th, 2011 04:16 PM

...shit yeah i guess it is that simple. IVE EVEN FUCKING DONE THAT BEFORE WITH OTHER GIRLS

thnx fz xoxox

10,000 Volt Ghost Oct 14th, 2011 04:16 PM

HOT COFFEE

Fathom Zero Oct 14th, 2011 04:20 PM

HOT DICKINGS

Fathom Zero Oct 14th, 2011 04:21 PM

WITH DICK COFFEE

executioneer Oct 14th, 2011 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 746727)
They usually have to mail them to you because they need to be made by prisoners first.

nah thats license plates not registration tabs

LordSappington Oct 14th, 2011 06:26 PM

I've procrastinated enough; it's time to make my motherfucking pumpkin pie cheesecake, bitches

10,000 Volt Ghost Oct 14th, 2011 06:37 PM

Just found my new favorite drink. No idea how it tastes yet



This is seriously the campaign for it.

Rongi Oct 14th, 2011 06:41 PM

Hahahahaha

Sexism is BACK, baby

Kitsa Oct 14th, 2011 07:27 PM

I hope it has extra prune juice and ends up giving a bunch of guys the shits.

Sam Oct 14th, 2011 07:30 PM

RONGI

DOES UNCLE SAMMY HAVE TO FLY OVER THERE AND SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE?

BECAUSE I'LL DRINK ALL YOUR BOOZE AND SMOKE ALL YOUR WEED AND BANG ALL YOUR WOMEN.

AND IF YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS I'LL MAKE FUN OF THEM AND THEY'LL HATE YOU FOREVER.

Emu Oct 14th, 2011 08:55 PM

Hi guys.

Sam Oct 14th, 2011 09:26 PM

YOU'RE NEXT.

kahljorn Oct 14th, 2011 09:52 PM

SAM WONt Smoke ANYBODIES WEED OR EAT ANY WEED BROWNIES

Sam Oct 14th, 2011 09:57 PM

I'M A REBEL BABY

10,000 Volt Ghost Oct 14th, 2011 10:16 PM

A BABY REBEL

Sam Oct 14th, 2011 10:17 PM

NO

10,000 Volt Ghost Oct 14th, 2011 10:22 PM

A MUPPET BABY REBEL

executioneer Oct 14th, 2011 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 746747)



hurrrr

10,000 Volt Ghost Oct 14th, 2011 10:33 PM

:pickle

kahljorn Oct 14th, 2011 11:32 PM

FREUDIAN EMOTICON SLIP

HickMan Oct 15th, 2011 12:57 AM

CAPSCAPSCAPS I'M LEAVING WHERE I'M CURRENTLY AT SOON, WHICH IS GOOD. WORKING OUT IN A POLISH GYM IS WEIRD BECAUSE EVERYONE STARES AT YOU LIKE THEY WANT TO RAPE YOU AND THEY ALL LIFT REALLY LIGHT WEIGHT AND YOU HAVE TO CONVERT EVERYTHING FROM KG TO LB SUCH A PAIN
<3 U GUYS

Grislygus Oct 15th, 2011 02:29 AM

SINCE THEY'RE POLISH THEY'RE JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF THERE'S ANY CHANCE THAT YOU'RE A FAN OF A RIVAL SOCCER TEAM WHO NEEDS HIS TEETH IMMEDIATELY PUMMELED INTO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD WITH A BRICK

Grislygus Oct 15th, 2011 02:30 AM

AND THEN RAPED

Grislygus Oct 15th, 2011 02:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 746793)
AND THEN RAPED

WITH THE STUMP OF A BROKEN BEER BOTTLE

Grislygus Oct 15th, 2011 02:31 AM

IT'S ALL KINDS OF VICIOUS SEXY IN POLAND

ThrashO Oct 15th, 2011 04:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HickMan (Post 746778)
AND YOU HAVE TO CONVERT EVERYTHING FROM KG TO LB SUCH A PAIN


MarioRPG Oct 15th, 2011 03:03 PM

Yeah america, join the rest of the world. And start emaciating yourselves too.

Grislygus Oct 15th, 2011 04:11 PM

WE'LL GLADLY KEEP OUR FUCKTARDED MEASUREMENT SYSTEM, THANK YOU. WE'LL CELEBRATING BY CONTINUING TO DRINK ALCOHOL IN OUR SPORTS STADIUMS, AS GOD INTENDED

THEN WE'LL STARE IN A PUZZLED WAY AT THE POOR BASTARDS ACROSS THE OCEAN DRINKING BAVRIL

Rongi Oct 15th, 2011 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThrashO (Post 746804)

Thrash0 you kind of suck lately

Or maybe you've always sucked and I just recently noticed it

Either way you suck

10,000 Volt Ghost Oct 15th, 2011 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 746831)
WE'LL GLADLY KEEP OUR FUCKTARDED MEASUREMENT SYSTEM, THANK YOU. WE'LL CELEBRATING BY CONTINUING TO DRINK ALCOHOL IN OUR SPORTS STADIUMS, AS GOD INTENDED

THEN WE'LL STARE IN A PUZZLED WAY AT THE POOR BASTARDS ACROSS THE OCEAN DRINKING BAVRIL

AMEN

Shyandquietguy Oct 15th, 2011 05:22 PM

Thrash0 IS terrible and always has been terrible, Rongi.

I regret ever acknowledging him making anything funny.

PS: Thrash0 do you hate it when you get cut off by them gangsta thugz? I do too.

liquidstatik Oct 15th, 2011 06:31 PM

does anyone know how to get ahold of cap'n crunch?

kahljorn Oct 15th, 2011 07:23 PM

I believe you can call him toll free at 1-800-234-6281

10,000 Volt Ghost Oct 15th, 2011 08:48 PM

He might be with admiral schmidlap though.

k0k0 Oct 15th, 2011 09:31 PM

Nah, dude is hanging out on his sugar yacht with General Mills.


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