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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

k0k0 Nov 6th, 2011 11:03 PM

I call my penis a mini mockmeat.

Shyandquietguy Nov 6th, 2011 11:56 PM

Kitsa, the next time you go to the theatre and one of those buzzes you, throw your popcorn at it and scream "Fucking Capitalists!"

Kitsa Nov 7th, 2011 12:08 AM

one of what now?

k0k0 Nov 7th, 2011 12:09 AM

I swear that's not the first time that he's called you out for something you never talked about kitsa. And there's no way to really tell what would buzz you in a theater.

Shyandquietguy Nov 7th, 2011 12:12 AM

The mall train.

Kitsa Nov 7th, 2011 12:17 AM

Eh.

I don't think the train was buzzing me so much as it was just a phenomenally stupid and bad idea, piloted by people who don't give a shit. I was in what had become the wrong place at the wrong time. I'd be more likely to jump on it and yell ALL ABOARD THE BAD IDEA TRAIN, TOOT-TOOT, HOPE YOU DON'T NEED YOUR SHINS BECAUSE I GOTS MY METAL COW-CATCHER AND I'M ROUNDING THE BEND OUTSIDE PAYLESS SHOE SOURCE, TOOT TOOT

k0k0 Nov 7th, 2011 12:33 AM

I wonder if that train has a tracker on it. Because I could see someone deciding to just up and steal it. I'd personally just like to take it and go for a joyride around the mall.

Shyandquietguy Nov 7th, 2011 12:50 AM

Eh my ass, Kitsa.

You know you want to don a frock, break the conductors teeth with an iron and drag him out.

10,000 Volt Ghost Nov 7th, 2011 12:51 AM

I would go on a joy rampage. I hate crimmas at the mall. People are all in my way.

k0k0 Nov 7th, 2011 01:03 AM

And they walk really fucking slow, like they can't read the signs well enough so they have to stare at each one as they move their fat elephant legs to take another step forward. I hate the mall so much.

Zhukov Nov 7th, 2011 01:07 AM

And the giant freaking Christmas trees halving the floor space don't really help much, either.

Fathom Zero Nov 7th, 2011 04:23 AM


Aaarg Nov 7th, 2011 08:39 AM

well i'm already naked i think my work is done come on boy

Fathom Zero Nov 7th, 2011 02:53 PM

I'm back home now and reformatted my computer. We can synch the tubes now.

ThrashO Nov 7th, 2011 03:36 PM

HEY. PERSONAL STORY TIME.

So i've had alot of trouble sleeping lately, mainly because of my ex, so the best way for me to go to sleep is to put on a TV show or some stand up comedy and fall asleep to it.

I don't use music though, no matter what it is it's just too depressing.

Anyways, I was watching Steven King's Rose Red last night, never seen it before, and it's 4 hours long. At about 30 minutes I realize how tired I am and decide to fall asleep to it.

Anyways I dont put a sleep timer on and it's just screaming and ghosts and haunted house and terror for about 3 and a half hours and It's affecting my dreams the whole time. I had some of the most terrifying anf vivid nightmares last night and it was almost on a level of lucid dreaming.

Really fucking weird shit. I was completely exhausted from the whole day and fell asleep around 9pm though, I wouldn't try to force this if you're not tired.

long story short - PARTY WITH YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE STARS IN A DREAM!! My only regret is that I didn't do this while stoned.

Fathom Zero Nov 7th, 2011 04:32 PM

stony crung

Aaarg Nov 7th, 2011 04:40 PM

the other morning i was half-awake and battling the snooze button for my girlfriend which basically means i hit snooze until she gets up and then i can go back to sleep ANYWAY during this time i was having a dream about rolling up a katamari and she said something to me and i almost said "no, the katamari's not big enough yet." but i caught myself.

phew.


also if you're super sad you should listen to sad music to sleep to. on vinyl. then see how many times you have to get up and hit the play button again (obviously you wouldn't have the heart enough to put forth the effort of flipping the record).

and that's the story of how i listened to the first half of tom waits' small change seven times in a row.

k0k0 Nov 7th, 2011 04:49 PM

Reminds me when my roommate and I would play everquest on his computer. I didn't have one at the time, so we'd play in 12 hour shifts. I'd go to sleep for 12 hours, he'd wake me up when it was my turn to play everquest and then I'd play for 12 hours and he'd sleep. Several times he'd wake me up while I was dreaming of everquest and I'd say something stupid about a 'train to zone' or 'needing to get aggro'.

Fathom Zero Nov 7th, 2011 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaarg (Post 749049)
and that's the story of how i listened to the first half of tom waits' small change seven times in a row.

Side one of Unknown Pleasures for me. The creaky beginning of Insight scares me awake most times.

Aaarg Nov 7th, 2011 05:26 PM

one time i fell asleep listening to a clockwork orange (not the soundtrack, but the wendy/walter carlos album of the moog music used in the movie) and the very last song is weird and the end of it has rain/thunder sounds and the music is just super dark moog stuff and the song slowly fades away and then you just have the thunderstorm and a super electronic heavily distorted "i'm singin'... just singin'... in the rain" and the tune from the song comes in

anyway the first time i heard that part of the album was when i woke up to it. scary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha

b_squared Nov 7th, 2011 05:42 PM

My daughter turns on HSN (home shopping network) when she can't sleep. It puts her to sleep every time.

ThrashO Nov 7th, 2011 06:19 PM

I cant remember if I scratched my face then masturbated or if I masturbated THEN scratched my face but they're both pretty itchy right now

kahljorn Nov 7th, 2011 09:26 PM

i think somebody stole 20 bucks from me but I'm not positive :(

kinda want to say something ;/

ThrashO Nov 7th, 2011 10:00 PM

set them up for thievery. that's how I caught a bitch at work one time.

kahljorn Nov 7th, 2011 10:20 PM

i rarely see them ;/ it was my sister and her boyfriend.
She let him into my room i guess because it used to be her room so its ok or some shit. fucking people.
im kinda mad cause she said all she did was look at a photo album, but my computer was turned on and my money pile was disturbed.

i didnt even see them this time i justhad 120 dollars in cash in my room (i thought). Now I only have 100. Its possible when i counted it i counted it then took a 20 out, but i thought i did it the other way and counted it after i took a 20 out.

ThrashO Nov 7th, 2011 11:29 PM

steal some of her shit.

whether they took it or not, just steal her shit.

Fathom Zero Nov 8th, 2011 12:58 AM


k0k0 Nov 8th, 2011 01:24 AM

I was a member of the


10,000 Volt Ghost Nov 8th, 2011 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by k0k0 (Post 749051)
Reminds me when my roommate and I would play everquest on his computer. I didn't have one at the time, so we'd play in 12 hour shifts. I'd go to sleep for 12 hours, he'd wake me up when it was my turn to play everquest and then I'd play for 12 hours and he'd sleep. Several times he'd wake me up while I was dreaming of everquest and I'd say something stupid about a 'train to zone' or 'needing to get aggro'.

:lol That's awesome

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 749077)
i think somebody stole 20 bucks from me but I'm not positive :(

kinda want to say something ;/

That is not good :(

Fathom Zero Nov 8th, 2011 04:57 PM



AKA :MILHOUSESIGNAL

Esuohlim Nov 8th, 2011 07:35 PM

MY WEEN SENSES ARE TINGLING

Fathom Zero Nov 8th, 2011 07:57 PM

hey milhouse

synchtube thursday

we do this

Kitsa Nov 9th, 2011 12:38 AM

So in Ohio today, an election worker bit a voter's nose in an altercation over a campaign sign. Srsly, wtf is wrong with people.

I welcome the end of the voting season here as people will now STFU for a short while. Yesterday we got a recorded message from Daniel Baldwin, but I don't know what for. "I'm Daniel Baldwin, and-" *click*

k0k0 Nov 9th, 2011 12:43 AM

That's classic penguin voting technique. Was the election worker danny devito?

ThrashO Nov 9th, 2011 03:51 PM

NEVER FORGET 11/9

Esuohlim Nov 9th, 2011 04:01 PM

The video game threads make me sad. I haven't really cared about video games in a long long time and it makes me jealous. :(

The only video games I like are ones I played before, and whenever I try new ones I have to force myself to get into it and it never works >: MOTHER 3 >: >:

ThrashO Nov 9th, 2011 04:07 PM


Aaarg Nov 9th, 2011 04:37 PM

mother 3 is ok but it's definitely not as good as people make it out to be

i think nerds just like it because nerds like video games that make them cry because apparently people cry at video games? weird.

Fathom Zero Nov 9th, 2011 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 749199)
The video game threads make me sad. I haven't really cared about video games in a long long time and it makes me jealous. :(

The only video games I like are ones I played before, and whenever I try new ones I have to force myself to get into it and it never works >: MOTHER 3 >: >:

maybe you just aren't into video games anymore, panda bear :O

Esuohlim Nov 9th, 2011 05:00 PM

I always thought it was schoolwork and stress that kept me from being interested in the last six years, but I've literally had fuck-all to do for the last seven months so that clearly isn't the case :(

I'm at the part in Mother 3 where I kind of stopped playing last time, the Oshoe castle. I'm going to keep going, but the problem I'm having with it is the constant hand-holding. There are times in Earthbound where you have no fucking clue what to do and that kind of stuff is fun for me because it makes you feel better when you figure it out. In Mother 3 it's all "Go here next. Now go here. Do this. Here, I'll mark it on the map for you." and it's fucking boring.

RPGs of the 90s were way more fun :(

ThrashO Nov 9th, 2011 05:06 PM

I think there is word that Final Fantasy 15 is going to be retro style. If so then my boner is justified.

Aaarg Nov 9th, 2011 05:16 PM

yeah mother 3 is super linear and that's super boring.

executioneer Nov 9th, 2011 05:23 PM

guys i think i just asked a girl on a date and i think she just said yes

THE WORLD'S GOING TO END

Aaarg Nov 9th, 2011 05:33 PM

sweet hopefully she's not a serial killer and neither are you - otherwise there may be troubles

Fathom Zero Nov 9th, 2011 05:36 PM

wtf son

executioneer Nov 9th, 2011 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaarg (Post 749210)
sweet hopefully she's not a serial killer and neither are you - otherwise there may be troubles

omg but what if we both were, then it'd be a match made in murder heaven

Fathom Zero Nov 9th, 2011 05:40 PM

invite her back to your murder castle

ThrashO Nov 9th, 2011 05:51 PM

what if shes a rapper

executioneer Nov 9th, 2011 05:51 PM

oof i gotta clear the severed limbs out of the sink

ThrashO Nov 9th, 2011 05:51 PM

i mean raper

executioneer Nov 9th, 2011 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThrashO (Post 749214)
what if shes a rapper

thatd probably be pretty cool with me 8-)

executioneer Nov 9th, 2011 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThrashO (Post 749216)
i mean raper

thatd probably be pretty cool with me 8-)

Fathom Zero Nov 9th, 2011 06:03 PM

tell maria bamford I said hi

executioneer Nov 9th, 2011 06:04 PM

hahahaha thats not who it is :x its a girl i met at pony meetings

Esuohlim Nov 9th, 2011 06:11 PM

did she have a ponytail :x haha :x :x good luck willie! :eek

k0k0 Nov 9th, 2011 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 749221)
did she have a ponytail :x

Is that one of those buttplugs with the horse hair coming out of the other end? Gross.

Esuohlim Nov 9th, 2011 06:14 PM

Fuck man, this pony thing is like scary magic

executioneer Nov 9th, 2011 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 749221)
did she have a ponytail :x haha :x :x good luck willie! :eek

thanks man now i just have to somehow turn into a not-monster before saturday :x :x :x

executioneer Nov 9th, 2011 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by k0k0 (Post 749222)
Is that one of those buttplugs with the horse hair coming out of the other end? Gross.

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Aaarg Nov 9th, 2011 06:47 PM

Pony-play is sometimes referred to as "The Aristotelian Perversion," in reference to legend that Aristotle had a penchant for being ridden like a horse.[2]

10,000 Volt Ghost Nov 9th, 2011 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 749205)
RPGs of the 90s were way more fun :(

:(

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThrashO (Post 749207)
I think there is word that Final Fantasy 15 is going to be retro style. If so then my boner is justified.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...ustice%20boner

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer (Post 749209)
guys i think i just asked a girl on a date and i think she just said yes

THE WORLD'S GOING TO END

:HIGHFIVE

Zhukov Nov 9th, 2011 09:49 PM

Good luck Willie. Just remember that these people that like all the pony crap are fucking idiots, and it might end badly.

executioneer Nov 9th, 2011 09:55 PM

should i try to get her into roller derby instead :(

10,000 Volt Ghost Nov 9th, 2011 09:59 PM

If that is what you call your bed then yes.

Shyandquietguy Nov 9th, 2011 10:25 PM

Congrats Willie! :eek

And if she gets nervous and asks "will it hurt?" Just say you've done it a hundred times "In your dreams!" And then wink at her! :wink

executioneer Nov 9th, 2011 10:34 PM

um what exactly is supposed to hurt

Spoilers!

Shyandquietguy Nov 9th, 2011 10:47 PM

Angry fire rape!

k0k0 Nov 9th, 2011 11:17 PM

A girl with a pony tail ain't gonna feel any pain. She's already got that thing in her butt.

executioneer Nov 9th, 2011 11:24 PM

nobody's putting a thing in anyone's butt

Zhukov Nov 9th, 2011 11:25 PM

:lol

So have you got a plan? Dinner?

executioneer Nov 9th, 2011 11:43 PM

goin to my fav el salvadorean place + maybe karaoke

Zhukov Nov 9th, 2011 11:50 PM

Then after that, your place.

k0k0 Nov 9th, 2011 11:52 PM

Don't be sleazy and push it too fast. You move too fast and this girl could gallop away. Unless she pushes it. If she pushes it, then go for it.

Zhukov Nov 9th, 2011 11:56 PM

Yeah, I guess, but don't look a gift horse in the mouth, because you could end up marrying this filly.

ThrashO Nov 10th, 2011 12:03 AM

dont... um... horses

:)

k0k0 Nov 10th, 2011 12:05 AM

Don't try and bridle her if she's a wild one. She may only be looking for fun. If that's the case and you want more, you'll probably just want to give her a kiss on the muzzle, a pat on the rump and then call it a night. Otherwise, all systems are go for pleasure.

kahljorn Nov 10th, 2011 12:06 AM

TODAY THIS gIRL STARED AT ME FOR LIKE tWO MINUtES AND I DONT KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.

ThrashO Nov 10th, 2011 12:10 AM

THANK YOU KAHL FOR STOPPING THESE PONY PUNS.

THEY WEREN'T STABLE

ThrashO Nov 10th, 2011 12:14 AM

im so sorry

executioneer Nov 10th, 2011 12:15 AM

guys i get enough equine puns already from the turkeys in the fandom

rein them in

executioneer Nov 10th, 2011 12:42 AM



SOMEHOW FEELS RELATED

kahljorn Nov 10th, 2011 02:49 AM

a little too wacky

executioneer Nov 10th, 2011 03:14 AM

sorry i've been on a real bad lip reading kick lately :(

Shyandquietguy Nov 10th, 2011 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThrashO (Post 749274)
dont... um... horses

:)

That's not a pickle.

ThrashO Nov 10th, 2011 04:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shyandquietguy (Post 749302)
That's not a pickle I said to myself for the hundredth time

I gotta work at 8am til about 5, then go to my second job til about 11 and I can't sleep. I said fuck it and I'm staying up and relying on coffee and 5 hour energies tomorrow.

who thinks this is the best idea.

also after work tomorrow night im doing an hour and a half of horrible yoga. probly gonna scratch that.

King Hadas Nov 10th, 2011 04:51 AM

If you can't sleep you can't sleep, sounds less like a choice and more like a mean reality.

You can't skip Yoga though. If you skip Yoga, how will you ever achieve Yoga Flame?

ThrashO Nov 10th, 2011 05:01 AM

fuck i already bought my skull pendants too :tear

executioneer Nov 10th, 2011 05:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThrashO (Post 749306)
I gotta work at 8am til about 5, then go to my second job til about 11 and I can't sleep. I said fuck it and I'm staying up and relying on coffee and 5 hour energies tomorrow.

who thinks this is the best idea.

sometimes I do that more than once a week for months at a time :(

ThrashO Nov 10th, 2011 05:07 AM

i always think "ill just stay up and go to bed early tomorrow! yeah i'll be so tired that i'll just pass right out and get my whole sleep schedule back on track!"

last time I did this I got off work the following night and stayed up til 5am playing Quake.

Not even like a recent Quake. Just Quake 1.

executioneer Nov 10th, 2011 05:16 AM

try taking 1-3 mg of melatonin about 1/2 hour before you want to go to sleep, sometimes that can help

or lay off the caffeine if you can

King Hadas Nov 10th, 2011 05:25 AM

Whenever I get my hours fucked nothing I do ever fixes them and then they eventually go back to normal for no reason I can understand.

One time for like a week I'd go to bed at 4 or 6 in the morning and then wake up exactly at one pm, everytime. One day I said fuck this, no more NO MORE and stayed up all night and day. I went to bed at eleven pm, and then slept fourteen hours straight and woke up at one again.

ThrashO Nov 10th, 2011 05:45 AM

sleep is gay :(

ThrashO Nov 10th, 2011 08:12 AM

My 7am alarm goes off, scaring the shit out of me and interrupting my game of quake, and my first yawn of the day kicks in.

OBOY.

10,000 Volt Ghost Nov 10th, 2011 10:59 AM

I missed all the my little punnies >:

Aaarg Nov 10th, 2011 11:32 AM

shut your mouth and take a seat 'cause after all you're just talking meat

LordSappington Nov 10th, 2011 03:25 PM

I woke up with a piece of my tooth missing, and I don't even get to have a cool story about it, like being stupid drunk. Fuck teeth

MarioRPG Nov 10th, 2011 05:35 PM

cool story bro

Lone Wanderer Nov 10th, 2011 06:29 PM

Gotta go to a horse farm this Saturday because of a writing project for college. :\

10,000 Volt Ghost Nov 10th, 2011 06:54 PM

Are you studying gambling?

Fathom Zero Nov 11th, 2011 01:29 AM

http://www.synchtube.com/r/z5DJ#


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