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-   -   Ask Willie (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69699193)

Esuohlim Apr 23rd, 2010 04:08 PM

WILLIE,

Tadao Apr 25th, 2010 10:36 PM

WILLIAM P. WENDELGRASS THE THIRD! GET YOUR BUTT BACK IN HERE AND FINISH YOUR WORK.

executioneer Apr 28th, 2010 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 680947)
Willie, why the f**k can't that volcano go erupt somewhere else? >:>:>:>:>:>:>::explode

i blame spaceghost :knifinaround

executioneer Apr 28th, 2010 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evil Robot (Post 681152)
Willie
I am currently off the rails on some kind of crazy train. Should I notify the Department of Transportation?

only if it looks like the train's not going to go off a cliff, if it does you should try jumping out of it at the last minute first and THEN call

executioneer Apr 28th, 2010 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 681153)
Dear Willie,

How is the facebook-family scenario best handled?

post stuff you don't want your family to read on twitter

executioneer Apr 28th, 2010 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 681215)
Dear Willie,

How now, brown cow?

man i hope that cow is brown because of chocolate

executioneer Apr 28th, 2010 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 681296)
Sir William,

Wanna go to my wedding in Hawaii?

i dont think i can afford it :(

executioneer Apr 28th, 2010 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 681313)
Willie,

Can I go to Tadao's wedding in Hawaii?

yeah and you should ride there on two sharks, really make a dramatic entrance

executioneer Apr 28th, 2010 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 681323)
skA Willie,

Pick it up?

this thread doesn't have a big enough horn section to play ska :/

executioneer Apr 28th, 2010 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheCoolinator (Post 681393)
Willie,

What should be done about the economy? :posh

And please respond promptly I have many assets to trade on the market and they aren't going to trade themselves.....Hmph!

legalize weed and prostitution

executioneer Apr 28th, 2010 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigtimecow (Post 681717)
WILLIE WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS

I WAS TOO BUSY PARTYING

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 29th, 2010 10:50 AM

:( I play trombone....

Willie,

How is your head feeling today?

executioneer Apr 30th, 2010 02:11 AM

cold :goingbald

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 30th, 2010 09:32 AM

:BLOODBROTHERS

TheCoolinator Apr 30th, 2010 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer (Post 683094)
cold :goingbald

Willie,

Do you think a console that was dedicated to retro-gaming work in todays market?

Meaning new games would be developed for this console but in a retro format ala Contra, megaman, and earthworm jim.

executioneer May 1st, 2010 02:34 AM

do you mean the nintendo ds

Shrubfest May 1st, 2010 07:35 AM

Dear Willie
Have I made a horrible mistake voting Tadao for king? Will my inbox now be filled with PM's for TITS OR GTFO, with real life mod threats involved?

Thanks.
Love Shrub.

Tadao May 1st, 2010 10:04 AM

Willie,

Is that allowed? :o

TheCoolinator May 1st, 2010 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer (Post 683411)
do you mean the nintendo ds

Yes,

But not a handheld.....a home console.

Zhukov May 1st, 2010 11:35 AM

Just leave it now.

executioneer May 1st, 2010 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shrubfest (Post 683426)
Dear Willie
Have I made a horrible mistake voting Tadao for king? Will my inbox now be filled with PM's for TITS OR GTFO, with real life mod threats involved?

Thanks.
Love Shrub.

you don't vote for kings! :montypython

executioneer May 1st, 2010 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 683441)
Willie,

Is that allowed? :o

i don't think anything is "allowed", really

executioneer May 1st, 2010 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheCoolinator (Post 683445)
Yes,

But not a handheld.....a home console.

they have those things shaped like joysticks that you plug into a tv that have ten games or whatever built into them

apart from that and the ds, no i don't think it's a viable idea. you could always build yourself a MAME cabinet that also emulated snes/genesis/whatever console you're looking for, though

Evil Robot May 12th, 2010 10:49 PM

Is fluoride bad for people?

executioneer May 12th, 2010 11:47 PM

yes, but only if it's turned into hydrofluoric acid, then it is REALLY fucking bad

10,000 Volt Ghost May 13th, 2010 10:52 AM

Dear Willie,

What will happen at the end of lost?

Kitsa May 13th, 2010 07:18 PM

Dear Willie,

Were you driving a rusty El Camino in rush hour traffic in Columbus on Tuesday?

Fathom Zero May 13th, 2010 08:01 PM

Willie,

I just ate from a taco stand. Am I gonna get diarrhea?

executioneer May 13th, 2010 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 685473)
Dear Willie,

What will happen at the end of lost?

bob denver and alan hale jr are gonna show up

executioneer May 13th, 2010 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 685518)
Dear Willie,

Were you driving a rusty El Camino in rush hour traffic in Columbus on Tuesday?

nope! i was at work

executioneer May 13th, 2010 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 685527)
Willie,

I just ate from a taco stand. Am I gonna get diarrhea?

you'd better hope so, not having diarrhea is a sign of an unhealthy diet i hear

Zhukov May 14th, 2010 12:25 AM

Dear Willie,

Does the hot girl at work talk to me because she thinks I am gay and therefore not threatening?

Grislygus May 14th, 2010 12:34 AM

Dear Willie,

Considering that the cops in the film are convinced that the sudden appearance of several mauled and half-eaten corpses was obviously the work of Islamic terrorists, why do horror fans take Wolfen seriously? (Besides the fact that Albert Finney is awesome).

executioneer May 14th, 2010 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 685546)
Dear Willie,

Does the hot girl at work talk to me because she thinks I am gay and therefore not threatening?

maybe, have you tried being more threatening to see if she talks to you less

executioneer May 14th, 2010 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 685547)
Dear Willie,

Considering that the cops in the film are convinced that the sudden appearance of several mauled and half-eaten corpses was obviously the work of Islamic terrorists, why do horror fans take Wolfen seriously? (Besides the fact that Albert Finney is awesome).

wait are you saying islam doesn't encourage cannibalism, i don't get it

Pentegarn May 14th, 2010 11:41 AM

Dear Willie,

When will the goddamn Cleveland Sports Curse that has hung around that city's neck like an albatross finally be lifted?

10,000 Volt Ghost May 14th, 2010 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer (Post 685535)
bob denver and alan hale jr are gonna show up


They're ending the show with a three hour marathon. :lol

executioneer May 26th, 2010 02:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pentegarn (Post 685595)
Dear Willie,

When will the goddamn Cleveland Sports Curse that has hung around that city's neck like an albatross finally be lifted?

when all the pro teams leave

stevetothepast Jun 3rd, 2010 02:45 PM

dear willie wanna recommend a book?

Evil Robot Jun 4th, 2010 09:21 PM

#E%gy hop wmany timwes am I akkowed bacj ?

Dixie Jun 6th, 2010 02:51 AM

Dear Willie,
I've always thought of you as like some Magic 8-ball god.
Once more I seek your wisdom.
Should I keep going straight on this road or should I take a right pretty soon?

Colonel Flagg Jun 7th, 2010 12:50 PM

Dear Willie:

Should I verbally castrate that flaming asswipe, or should I clam up and hope nature takes the correct course?

PS - Hi Dix! Hope your "bite" is all better.

Shrubfest Jun 8th, 2010 09:48 AM

Willie, has my bf noticed I've broken up with him, or was taking all my stuff back and avioding him too subtle?

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 8th, 2010 10:35 AM

Willie,

Is Shrub on the market?

Also...WHO IS THE BADDEST?

Dixie Jun 8th, 2010 05:01 PM

it's nothing but a large pink scar now. no more antibiotic pills ever.

Pentegarn Jun 8th, 2010 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 688402)
Also...WHO IS THE BADDEST?

Willie,

Should I just go ahead and tell 10k the answer to this is Sho'Nuff?

Evil Robot Jun 12th, 2010 11:44 PM

Is Nagle's algorithim worth running, or is it just bullshit? I disabled it in the registry so the PS3 will have less latency but I wonder if explorer is trying to send tiny packets. BTW I connect through a tethered IPhone.

Kitsa Jun 14th, 2010 07:32 AM

Willie,

What does a "chicken fart" candle really smell like, and should I regret not buying one?

MLE Jun 15th, 2010 12:26 PM

Dear willie,

Are you going to come back? :<

Evil Robot Jun 16th, 2010 11:10 PM

Williw,
Are you in jail right now?

executioneer Jun 18th, 2010 05:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevetothepast (Post 688014)
dear willie wanna recommend a book?

"flow my tears the policeman said" by phil dick, idk

executioneer Jun 18th, 2010 05:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evil Robot (Post 688105)
#E%gy hop wmany timwes am I akkowed bacj ?

as many as you think you can get away with, once you are sure it'll be the last it will be

executioneer Jun 18th, 2010 05:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dixie (Post 688154)
Dear Willie,
I've always thought of you as like some Magic 8-ball god.
Once more I seek your wisdom.
Should I keep going straight on this road or should I take a right pretty soon?

i think you should ENTER and GO NORTH

executioneer Jun 18th, 2010 05:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 688226)
Dear Willie:

Should I verbally castrate that flaming asswipe, or should I clam up and hope nature takes the correct course?

PS - Hi Dix! Hope your "bite" is all better.

i'm sorry i got lost in the imagery of your question, i'm picturing a dude who can emit a cutting force from his mouth shooting beams at a burning anthropomorphic roll of toilet paper's weiner

and also a big ol clam

executioneer Jun 18th, 2010 05:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shrubfest (Post 688397)
Willie, has my bf noticed I've broken up with him, or was taking all my stuff back and avioding him too subtle?

most folks are pretty perceptive when it comes to that sort of thing, but i don't wanna give him too much credit. maybe hire a singing telegram to be sure

executioneer Jun 18th, 2010 05:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 688402)
Willie,

Is Shrub on the market?

Also...WHO IS THE BADDEST?

is this the market i can't go into because i'm terrified of it, even to use the atm

then.. wait my metaphor fell apart

fuck

maybe?

to your other question, yes doctor who is pretty great

executioneer Jun 18th, 2010 05:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pentegarn (Post 688486)
Willie,

Should I just go ahead and tell 10k the answer to this is Sho'Nuff?

is that what the answer was :(

executioneer Jun 18th, 2010 05:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evil Robot (Post 689050)
Is Nagle's algorithim worth running, or is it just bullshit? I disabled it in the registry so the PS3 will have less latency but I wonder if explorer is trying to send tiny packets. BTW I connect through a tethered IPhone.

man i dont know that shit :( i can barely set up a wireless network these days

executioneer Jun 18th, 2010 05:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 689127)
Willie,

What does a "chicken fart" candle really smell like, and should I regret not buying one?

if you regret stuff you DON'T do you're gonna get decision paralysis because you can't do EVERYTHING

only regret stuff you actually do

also the candle probably doesn't really smell as bad as chicken feces does

executioneer Jun 18th, 2010 05:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MLE (Post 689270)
Dear willie,

Are you going to come back? :<

i don't know :( been having difficulty adjusting to situations lately

executioneer Jun 18th, 2010 05:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evil Robot (Post 689481)
Williw,
Are you in jail right now?

i WISH

Kitsa Jun 23rd, 2010 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer (Post 689596)
if you regret stuff you DON'T do you're gonna get decision paralysis because you can't do EVERYTHING

only regret stuff you actually do

also the candle probably doesn't really smell as bad as chicken feces does

that was pretty deep. :\ The regret part, not the chicken feces part.

executioneer Jun 23rd, 2010 10:52 PM

it was an accident i swear :(

Pentegarn Jun 24th, 2010 08:42 AM

Dear Willie,

Don't you know there are no accidents, and that your wisdom comes from within?

Kitsa Jun 28th, 2010 10:33 PM

Dear Willie,

Why are those Renaissance Faires always at the end of the summer, which would be the hottest and most miserable time to wear fake medieval attire?

executioneer Jun 29th, 2010 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pentegarn (Post 690068)
Dear Willie,

Don't you know there are no accidents, and that your wisdom comes from within?

nope

executioneer Jun 29th, 2010 12:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 690537)
Dear Willie,

Why are those Renaissance Faires always at the end of the summer, which would be the hottest and most miserable time to wear fake medieval attire?

i dunno, maybe nerds are only comfortable around other nerds when they're all drenched in sweat

it'd explain san diego comic-con, anyways

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 29th, 2010 01:05 AM

Dear Willie,

I heard you are NOT going to SAN DIEGO. How long and what days are you NOT going to be there?

executioneer Jun 29th, 2010 01:21 AM

well i am NOT registered for saturday, and i am NOT planning to be in and around town for the whole weekend despite NOT NOT being registered for other days

also i am NOT driving down so i am NOT planning on visiting other locations on the way down and back

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 29th, 2010 01:23 AM

We should NEVER find a karaoke bar and NOT drink at the bars that WON'T be there.

executioneer Jun 29th, 2010 01:29 AM

i strongly DISagree

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 29th, 2010 01:44 AM

I also wish you WERE asleep. That way we could NOT go into further detail about what ISN'T happeneing EVER.

executioneer Jun 29th, 2010 02:23 AM

uhh what

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 29th, 2010 02:52 AM

I don't even know anymore. Too many contra-positives. Need sleep.

Evil Robot Jun 29th, 2010 10:17 PM

look room <return>
walk table <return>
look table <return>

executioneer Jun 30th, 2010 01:31 AM

> you are in a pristine operating room. in the middle of the room there is a metal operating table, with several bright lights shining onto it from the ceiling.

> you walk over to the table.

> on the table you see:
a scalpel
a small pool of blood
a piece of paper

Pentegarn Jun 30th, 2010 02:35 PM

Dear Willie,

Should I hit troll with sword? And if so, should I then put sword into trophy case?

executioneer Jun 30th, 2010 09:37 PM

yes but wait a while the sword might come in useful elsewhere

Evil Robot Jun 30th, 2010 11:20 PM

get in small pool of blood <return>

executioneer Jul 2nd, 2010 01:39 AM

> you sit down in the small pool of blood. you accidentally sit on the scalpel, too, cutting a small gash in your backside. now you have AIDS.

Zhukov Jul 2nd, 2010 05:52 AM

Dear Willie,

Does AIDS count as an inventory item?

Pentegarn Jul 2nd, 2010 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 690834)
Dear Willie,

Does AIDS count as an inventory item?

:lol

I was thinking of asking this and didn't

Colonel Flagg Jul 2nd, 2010 10:38 AM

I was going to drink the blood - boy I'm glad I refrained from playing. :whew

Evil Robot Jul 4th, 2010 01:32 PM

get scalpel <return>
use scalpel penis <return>
get paper <return
get penis <return>

executioneer Jul 6th, 2010 05:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 690834)
Dear Willie,

Does AIDS count as an inventory item?

no but it will give annoying status messages every 100 turns or so "you feel your AIDS getting worse!"

executioneer Jul 6th, 2010 05:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evil Robot (Post 691050)
get scalpel <return>
use scalpel penis <return>
get paper <return
get penis <return>

> You pull the scalpel out from under your backside, dramatically worsening your gash. (We would like to apologize for putting the term "worsening your gash" in this game.)

> As you attempt to perform painful elective surgery on yourself, the scalpel slips out of your hand. Whoopsy-daisy!

> You look around for the piece of paper for a second, and realize you're sitting on that, too. As you tug on it, it tears in half, leaving the other half still under your bottom.

> You've already got that!

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 6th, 2010 03:15 PM

Dear Willie,

Did you find a costume?

executioneer Jul 8th, 2010 03:18 AM

no

i think i'm gonna go as the incredible screaming man, i'm gonna scream at everyone i see

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 8th, 2010 09:06 AM

That sounds terrifying. I can't wait.

executioneer Jul 9th, 2010 02:29 AM

that is assuming of course the half-assed juggernaut costume i'm working on looks like absolute shit when i'm finished

or assuming i'm quite drunk

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 9th, 2010 08:55 AM

All you need is a refurbished gem of cyttorok. Sure you cna find one laying around in a flea market or a seaside cove in the area.

executioneer Jul 9th, 2010 10:58 PM

i'll check craigslist

Grislygus Jul 9th, 2010 11:53 PM

dearest william

WHERE YOU AT DAWG


WHERE YOU AT

executioneer Jul 10th, 2010 06:07 AM

still over 310 :(

Evil Robot Jul 10th, 2010 08:33 PM

Jesus I'm in bad shape!
Cut out wound with scalpel <return>
cure aids with paper half <return>

kahljorn Jul 15th, 2010 07:42 PM

if you are the incredible screaming man will you scream at the westboro people?

executioneer Jul 15th, 2010 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evil Robot (Post 691707)
Jesus I'm in bad shape!
Cut out wound with scalpel <return>
cure aids with paper half <return>

> (getting up first)
You make like Uncle Joey and Cut. It. Out. You are now sans buttock. Opps, you dropped the scalpel again! Lousy slippery blood.

> You peer intently at the paper, looking for a recipe for an AIDS cure. Hmm, seems to be swirling around a lot, but you don't see any writing on it.

You are feeling light headed from blood loss.

executioneer Jul 15th, 2010 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 692188)
if you are the incredible screaming man will you scream at the westboro people?

hell if i get someone to go with me we could drive-by egg them

kahljorn Jul 15th, 2010 10:53 PM

I'd do it :( i was already trying to think of ways to harass them

executioneer Jul 15th, 2010 11:01 PM

actually i bought 50 boxes of conversation hearts at the going out of business dollar store for $2, anyone want to fight hatred with the power of love


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