crazy
 

Here are some questions I recently read in a phone-in advice column:

1. HI MY CAR IS ABOUT IS SLOWLY DRIVING DOWNHILL TOWARDS A CLIFF. WHAT DO I DO?
2. HELLO, MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE WHAT DO I DO?
3. IM ON A DIET OF CrAcK AND CANT AFFORD ANYMORE IS THERE A SIMILAR DIET I COULD SWITCH TO WITHOUT WORRIES OF COMPLICATIONS?
4. THERE"S A STAMPEDE OF ANGERED BUFFALO RUSHING TOWARDS ME AND THE ONLY THING NEARBY IS A STEEL INFORCED BRICK HOUSE WHAT DO I DO?
5.THERES A BRUTAL MURDER RAPIST COMING TOWARDS ME AND ALL I HAVE IN MY POSSESSION IS A CELL PHONE, A DIRTY PURSE FULL OF TAMPONS AND RECIPTS, AND A .44 PISTOL WHAT SHOULD I DO?
6. HELLO IM STANDING UNDER A COLLAPSING TREE WHAT DO I DO?
7.I CANT STOP SPENDING MONEY ON EBAY/INTERNET WHAT SHOULD I DO?


Here are the answers:

1. Stop, with the brakes.
2. Go outside.
3. Stop buying crack.
3a Switch to pot
4. GO INSIDE THE HOUSE
5. Shoot him in the face.
5a FOR THE ETHICALY MINDED PERSON: shoot him in the knee then shoot his dick off then shoot him in the stomach
6. Move four feet to the left.
7. STOP SPENDING MONEY DUMBASS.

I hope this has been helpful,
Jelopagus Prandle

kahl that was truly inspiring.
Thanx for the super amount of support ..

ill make sure and refer back to this if Im smoking crack an want to kill myself ..

talk to jin, he is the best at saving money

the best ways to save money:
Cook your own food
Don't try to be cool by going to bars and other "Cool places" that charge too much money. Like movie theaters.
Don't buy things you don't need.
Setting spending money aside from money you need is actually a good idea, but then you have to use your brain.

kahl: Im not incompetant, and thanx for asking if you could quote me in your sig... wtf

I'm not going to ask you for permission to showboat your stupidity.
Fuck, I thought that was good advice for saving money. Especially for someone like you who probably spends 1,000 of dollars a month on Korn memorabilia and other "cool" shit you can show off so people think you're cool.

I didn't even call you incompetent except maybe in my first post in this thread :lol Oh, I said "You have to use your brain". I see. Isn't that a true statement?

kahl.. your the one that had to think about it aparently, and no i dont spend that much on korn memoriabilia.. I spend it on cell phones and laptops.. ect.. so its a little more then that.. :/ besides, like half this board doenst spend all their money on ebay getting fuckin collectable ninja dolls or someshit. Wishing they could get laid, and not ever leaving their house. Thats SUPER!!!

Half this board doesn't make posts about spending too much money online.
Quit spending your money on cellphones and laptops, how many do you need?

i said you need to use your brain to set money aside because, OMFGSHOCKAPPAL, you have to develop a BUDGET and know how much money you will need.

Kahl's right. You need to plan how much money you're going to have to spend in a certain timeframe and spend little on stuff you don't really need. Ultimately having four walls and a roof with a bed is a lot more important than the latest gadget of the week. Also, you're going to need a build some sort of a safety net money-wise in case something (inevitably) will go wrong. :(

HA.. me save?? your fuckin funny!

Im a female, and we tend to buy very expensive things alot of times and change our minds alot that we dont like something and need something new. Its a gene we inherit from every female in the family.

maybe you should get a lock box

I have money saved up for if something goes wrong. And a few trustfund thingies. Who knows, but the amount of money set up for me to use every month, i spend within a week.. :/ I need a broker

HAH ME SAVE IM A STUPID VAGINA WHO STEREOTYPES WOMEN

tell your stupid ass parents to give you your money on a weekly basis so your spoiled ass won't keep buying shit you dont need

umm my spoiled ass lost my fauther 6 years ago, 10 days befor my 18th b-day, and I found him. Id rather have him back.

And its not my fault that im an only child, and an only grandchild. It sucks, my family lives all over the world, and I dont ever see them except for a few times a year.

So, dont go to where your heading ..

I don't see what any of that has to do with squandering your monthly allowance.

This is fucking retarded. Just so you know in the future, "my vagina" is not a valid excuse for financial aid qualification.

Since when

The Welfare Wikipedia page doesn't mention vaginas :x

your vagina shouldnt be an excuse for any kind of qualification, esuohlim.

1. GET OUT OF THAT CAR.

2. GET OUT OF THAT HOUSE.

3. START DRINKING SLIMFAST OR SOMETHING, I DONT KNOW.

4. TRY TO CHARGE THROUGH THE STEEL-ENFORCED BRICK HOUSE BEFORE THE BUFFALOS DO.

5. TURN OFF THE SAFETY, GRASP THE TRIGGER. POINT THE PISTOL AT THE RAPIST. PULL THE TRIGGER.

6. DONT MOVE, IT MIGHT PROVE TO BE FUN/BENEFICIAL.

7. DESTROY THE INTERNET.[/quote

lenor, here is expert saving advice from yours truley (a master saver)

send me stuff :]

incase you want to research this information further, i've drawn an expert graph

i completely get that chart :x