Originally Posted by Courage the Cowardly Dog

Politicly i've always had a LOT of respect for Blair. If I lived in England I'd vote for him. I know he takes a lot of flack but i do admire him greatly, iraq or no iraq.

Originally Posted by Chojin

Originally Posted by GADZOOKS

I DON'T THINK SO TIM :tear

Originally Posted by executioneer

DONT BE THE MOST REDICULOUS ITEM OF THE DAY, COUSIN LARRY

Originally Posted by executioneer

number three is, man does tim allen ever look like an ugly lesbian

http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/2907/Events/2907/TimAllen_Grani_4574225_400.jpg?path=pgallery&path_ key=Allen,%20Tim%20(I)

Originally Posted by Weirdo from that site

Finally I can go to Wal-mart again! It's been 20 months or so since I last was in any Wal-mart. Earlier, the older Wal-mart had mirrors all over the place blocking 99% of my access. The only area I could go was maybe just the first 40 square feet into the entrance and not any further. Now that the Wal-mart Supercenter has been opened up, there are no mirrors at all on the ceiling. Although there are some, it's nothing compared to the old one. Rather than 99% of the store being blocked, it's maybe just 2% at the high end and this store has double the area. The ceiling is 18 feet high instead of about 11 (if I recall correctly - back then I didn't know my 45-degree-angle trick). Rather than something like 250 by 150 feet of area, this new one is more around 400 by 250 feet. I was amazed at how big it is and is the largest building in town after the mall (and maybe Menard's), in terms of floor space that is.

Originally Posted by executioneer

pub lover, no offense and all but you are so not in that guy's league

Originally Posted by executioneer

i mean i still DO think of you as a creepy shut-in guy

Originally Posted by The most self-documented shut in

I've had this belief for nearly a decade (since at least 1996, possibly 1997). I've believed that on Jun 13, 2006, something special would happen, very special. This is only 6 months away now and it looks like, afterall, something will happen near this date. Predicted a decade ago with no real signs, somehow it seems surprisingly accurate. I've mentioned this in my blog a few times about Jun 13, 2006 being a special date. First, I thought it was my stories becoming a movie. This is now highly unlikely considering the time frames needed to make a movie (2 years I've heard). However, closeup and near completion is my first official game for sale. This game will likely be sold in February or even March of 2006. From the sales, however, well, that could be what the special thing is. I'm still pondering what it could be, if it happens at all.

Originally Posted by For his blog entry for the super-mystical magic happy day he

Jun 13: Today's that day I predicted ten years ago! Woke up at 9:02 PM and went to bed at 4:33 PM. I also took a shower at the end of the day - annoying parents.

Originally Posted by ziggytrix

why does he say that mirrors on the ceiling blocked his access to walmart?

Originally Posted by Pub's Newest Hero

This fear, the fear of mirrors, has been with me for over a decade and a half, since about 1988 or 1989. This fear prevents me from getting too much in the direct path of a mirror. However, I have no problem going in front of mirrors in my mind game or in video games, even seeing one head on as an image on a screen is okay as well. I've got one major example of a case in which I didn't have this fear.

The exact cause is not known.

Originally Posted by Pub Lover

:lol

We should start a club. :(

Originally Posted by El Mulleto

Let's say that I needed to go to a department store. Let's call this department store "The Mirror Maze Department Store". I need to get a few items for myself as well and need to follow my parents. Here's an overlay of this imaginary department store:



This image here has many colors and is color-coded. Here's what each color represents:

black - building borderlines and road; also the textual descriptions of the departments
red - flat mirror - cannot cross in front of one where the yellow areas are - these can only face one direction
yellow - the bad zone - an area in which you cannot go due to a flat mirror
cyan - the bad zone - an area in which you cannot go due to a ceiling mirror
green - special areas or a wall
dark green - key items you need on this run
blue - ceiling mirror - the worst of them all, these block much access to areas and are spherical; their "bad area" range, fortunately, is limited due to their design
light-gray - counters and shelves
dark cyan - dressing rooms
magenta - hall way boundaries - an open path to get between departments easier; may go off of if no mirrors are in the way

This map has a scale of 1 pixel is 6 inches making the store about 10,000 square feet. Straight up on the image is considered as "north".

On this run, you need to buy these items [department is noted in brackets and where the items are located is marked in dark green]:

ink for a printer [electronics]
a pack of pencils [general supplies]
three shirts of nearly any kind [men's clothing]
get a replacement oil filter [mechanical]
oil filter and four quarts of oil [mechanical]
look for a gift for someone who likes to read [book zone]
get about 15 to 20 packets of seeds [gardening]
buy a purse with at least 2 zipper side pockets and of medium size [women's clothing]

Originally Posted by Seriously?

Now, go through this department store as you normally would. Seems easy and quick, doesn't it? Now, because of my fear of mirrors, my "accessibility" is far limited. Now try going through this same department store, but avoid the areas marked in yellow. This is much harder than it seems and I need to go through nearly 4 times the distance to accomplish the same task taking about 3 times longer. It turns just about any store into a maze where you can't see many of the walls of the maze. Here'd be a typical path I'd take through this same store. Compare it to what you may normally do [in the same order for the items]:

1. ink - Start at the very bottom and go north to the other end of the store, head east to the next intersection, then head south to the next intersection then back east just to get to the electronics.

2. pencils - from the electronics department, head south, to the hallway then east to the wall and south to the department.

3. three shirts - head east again to the wall, north to the wall, west past the two intersections, then south to reach the department. Here, I'd start with the top area and head south looking at the items. When the mirror blocks the path, I go out to the hallway, around the merchandise bench [usually ducking if the wall mirrors were high and the merchandise bench was low] then back into the department to get the other stuff. To get that final item, I'd have to go around the merchandise bench to reach it

4. oil filter and oil - exit the men's department to the east taking the "detour", head north to the wall, east to the next intersection, south to the next intersection, then finally west to pick up the items

5. book - From the mechanical area, I'd head east to exit the department, then head south. From this area, none of the books were of interest to the one who wanted the gift. The topic of interest, mystery, was on the other side but is "blocked" by the mirror. Just to get to that other side, I have to go east, then north to the wall, west to the next intersection, then south to the main intersection, a walk about a tenth of a mile! I get to the "other side" and find the perfect book. To get that book, I'd have to "hug" the merchandise shelves to "avoid" the mirror.

6. seeds - to get the seeds, I'd then go west to exit the department, head all the way north to the wall, head to the east, then south and finally east again into the department. Because no mirrors are close by, getting these items is easy and quick.

7. purse - from the gardening department, head west to the intersection, north all the way to the wall, west again to the next intersection, then south to the women's clothing department. In this store, all purses are found on the southernmost shelf in this department. To find the purses, I check all shelves from top to bottom. The southern shelf had the purses. Here, I searched the perfect one with little worries of mirrors.

8. checkout - in order to pay for the items, I'd have to head to the checkouts. My local Wal-mart store has lots of those ceiling mirrors making only 2 of 20 checkout lanes "accessible" This imaginary store only has 14, but with 4 accessible and "hard to get to". Getting near the checkouts in this store is much tougher than any of my local stores. From the women's department store, I'd head south to the hallway, east to the intersection, south to the area where the carts are, then, hugging the northern part of this hallway "lane", I'd slip "past" the ceiling mirrors to right where the shelves are. Once I pass the first big ceiling mirror significantly, I'd then be able to get into the checkouts area and unload the cart.

9. exit "Mirror Maze Department Store" - Now, most bizzarre about the next part is, something I sometimes "have" to do in many stores, is back out of the checkout area, hug the shelves again going west, and exit out of the store. What a big walk that's needed!


Yep, this is about a very typical journey I'd take though a department store. I have to deal with this in almost any store, grocery stores [especially where the fruits and vegetables are], department stores [especially around jewelery, and clothing areas], and even the schools were "bad" with the mirrors. Because of a large mirror in Central Campus, the school I most hated, I couldn't even get to the attendance office or the office in general. Someone normal would only go the 10 or so feet to cross by it. Instead, I have to walk nearly 150 feet just to get around (300 total feet to get back to where I was)!

Originally Posted by It never ends!

There are few known workarounds. One of which involves the flat mirrors. I use a technique I call "angle bisection". This method works by getting to a position close to the mirror's path and looking what's in the mirror. I then find the object shown in the mirror, map its position and bisect the angle (split it in half). This gives the angle the mirror is facing. I then calculate the width of the mirror and add 10% of my distance from the nearest edge of the mirror to create the "hazard zone". This technique does not work, however, with those stubborn curved mirrors. The curved mirrors are the worst. I take longer to find the object in the mirror, sometimes even twice as long, as it does for me to map the position, bisect the angle, and create the "hazard zone" from all those calculations

Originally Posted by Esuohlim

Pub you should totally do a website spotlight on this for my site in which you also compare it to your own life and I'll love you forever :(

Originally Posted by I've been reading this guy's site all day & I still don't know his name, but he

Most my age would normally be looking for a mate or girlfriend/boyfriend. I have almost no intent on either of these. The bulk of it comes down to cost, but there are other reasons.

I've heard that marriage costs several thousand dollars (I've heard $25,000 somewhere). From this, I will almost certainly not want to get married.

I have no close friends to do anything with. Only the forums are about as close as I can get.

I just don't have any intent or interest in finding someone.

I've heard that just preparing for a baby can cost upwards of $500 let alone having to feed the baby and other things while it grows up.

Originally Posted by executioneer

i'm sad to say my only special fear is hawt ladies ;_;

Originally Posted by Pub Lover

Girly looking men give me the vapours. :(

Originally Posted by Chojin

furthermore why do all nerds think they're magic

Originally Posted by Chojin

wouldn't it make more sense for the attractive people to be magic

Originally Posted by TimAllen@TimAllen.com

Thank you for your kind e-mail, Ramrod! When it came to writing a Home Improvement script we would just write the action (grunts) which usually included the type of grunt it was. Like if it's a agreeing grunt, a sexy grunt, or a scared grunt. But if we could spell it out I bet it would be like "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGH!". That's my best guess.

As for your second question, at full erection it is about 14 even. Thanks for being a fan!

-Tim

Originally Posted by pub lover

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! :eek

Originally Posted by [url=http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?t=23042

In regards to this thread, Chojin & I[/url]]
[15:18] Pub: I was going to post "My copy of Bambi runs out right after the mother deer gets shot. IT'S A WHOLE DIFFERENT MOVIE!" but then I realised that was exactly your joke but with fifty less cool points.
[15:21] Chojin: i lied a bit, my copy stops working right when they possess the two cops
[15:21] Chojin: but that isn't as funny
[15:21] Chojin: you learn tricks like these in the mock wars, write that tip down, son
[15:24] Chojin: plus then i can just pretend they live out their lives as fat middle aged cops

Originally Posted by GADZOOKS

New Zealand's own Pub Lover!

Originally Posted by GADZOOKS

*The real one.

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero

Me? If it's me, is there any way I could make it up to you?