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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Kitsa May 4th, 2009 06:00 AM

that was an okay movie!

Tadao May 4th, 2009 06:11 AM

Hehe I laughed long and hard. Now Young@Heart is making me think about things a lot. Hopefully vodka will wash away all these silly ideas I get about being creative again.

10,000 Volt Ghost May 4th, 2009 09:58 AM

May the 4th be with you.

Kitsa May 4th, 2009 06:11 PM

Tomorrow I get to drink Dos Equis, I hope.

Dimnos May 4th, 2009 06:16 PM



Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Tadao May 4th, 2009 06:44 PM

Tequati in a can for me please.

Kitsa May 4th, 2009 07:00 PM

I've already been out all day shopping for the ideal mother-in-law gift (as seen in my head) and spending indecent amounts of money on the upcoming gallery show. I'm not going out again for beer.

Skulhedface May 4th, 2009 07:17 PM

I haven't been reading this thread. Can someone plz summarize the last 2,000 pages or so kthxbye.

Just kidding. I'll be stuck at work for Cinco De Mayo, but I'll be off on my birthday two days later, so I'll be free to start my annual wish myself a happy birthday thread.

10,000 Volt Ghost May 5th, 2009 12:57 AM

Happy Cinco de drunko. Getting out of work tomorrow, consuming mass quantities of alcohol then seeing the Bouncing Souls. Then more booze.

Fathom Zero May 5th, 2009 02:19 AM

Baby oh no, can't leave me now
Said think about it please
'Cos I love you and I need you
And I should have thought of that
before I did you wrong

Kitsa May 5th, 2009 07:59 AM

Our one (admittedly superior) authentic Mexican restaurant in town is stuffed to the gills with fat gringos under the best of circumstances. On Cinco de Mayo, which most of the redneck locals equate as some sort of Mexican Fourth of July, there's a line of fat gringos out the fucking door.

Skulhedface May 5th, 2009 09:22 AM

Our one authentic Mexican restaurant was probably the most awesomest thing since the invention of exploding crotches on video. They had a fajita buffet, and if there's one food I could probably never get tired of in the history of ever, it's fajitas. All you can eat fajitas.... mmmmmmm. Too bad it closed because the only other customers they got besides me, wifey and baby was a bus full of actual Mexicans 'round noonish.

Now, I either have to go to Casa Ole (ick) or go next door to Texas and hit up a taco truck. (Yes, there are taco trucks.)

Kitsa May 5th, 2009 10:02 AM

we have a Secret Taco Truck behind the mexican grocery in town. You give the lady at the grocery counter $2, she disappears, and then a few minutes later she returns with a small bag of real steak tacos.

For whatever reason, only the mexicans and my dad seem to know about it.

10,000 Volt Ghost May 5th, 2009 10:19 AM

We have a few 5 de Mayo's in our area where they usually have a Mariachi band play around the dining room after 6pm. I'm pretty sure they're usually drunk though because after they said "Enjoy this next song boys and girls" they started slurring it into "Enjoy this next song boys and.......boys" then they would bust out this horrible laughter.

The food was delicious though.

Kitsa May 5th, 2009 10:24 AM

Every time I go on Mariachi Night I always seem to get seated right in front of them and getting deafened.

I always wondered, since accordion is so fucking prominent in Mexican music, why there's no accordion in a mariachi band.

It's fun as hell going to Mexican restaurants and festivals because absolutely no one suspects that the pelirroja understands Spanish. This can make for many lolz, except when my mother ruins it by loudly asking, "WHAT IS HE SAYING?!? IS HE TALKING ABOUT US?!?" :(

Esuohlim May 5th, 2009 11:30 AM


Esuohlim May 5th, 2009 11:31 AM


Kitsa May 5th, 2009 11:51 AM

you got skillz, milhouse.

Dimnos May 5th, 2009 12:08 PM

Is it just me or is I-Mockery been a little slow recently?

Kitsa May 5th, 2009 12:33 PM

I get a lot of slowness and crashes, especially at night. I always blamed it on traffic.

Esuohlim May 5th, 2009 01:08 PM


Kitsa May 5th, 2009 01:09 PM

Ugh, planaria give me the jibblies.

Tadao May 5th, 2009 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 627343)
For whatever reason, only the mexicans and my dad seem to know about it.

(something rude and dirty)

Tadao May 5th, 2009 04:34 PM

Oh man, I forgot about the movie The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas until I read about all the movies Dom was in.

Esuohlim May 5th, 2009 04:55 PM


Tadao May 6th, 2009 12:32 AM



http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/nonuk/


YOU FUCKING LIMEY FAGS!

Tadao May 6th, 2009 12:41 AM

Hey, did you guys know that Hulu has full movies? And did you know they have Mr. Warmth - The Don Rickles Project?

Fathom Zero May 6th, 2009 01:07 AM

MORE LIKE RADIO NUMBER NONE!

Esuohlim May 6th, 2009 01:42 AM


Aaarg May 6th, 2009 01:45 AM

i moved to north carolina and i went to a zoo today and i watched a bear in a tree for 20 minutes

Skulhedface May 6th, 2009 04:27 AM

You've got to be either a great writer or a great bullshitter to fudge a whole report on your dog's favorite color.

MetalMilitia May 6th, 2009 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 627441)


http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/nonuk/


YOU FUCKING LIMEY FAGS!


Bit of pay-back for Pandora, mother f-er!

Dimnos May 6th, 2009 11:48 AM

What you guys dont get Pandora in the UK? What about last.fm?

Whats up with the science fair kids Milhouse? :lol Are these tards at your school or something?

MetalMilitia May 6th, 2009 12:13 PM

No Pandora, Hulu, Comedy Central, Southpark episodes etc.

Though it's only really Pandora that I miss because I can use BitTorrent for TV episodes.

Esuohlim May 6th, 2009 01:20 PM


Tadao May 6th, 2009 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia (Post 627473)
No Pandora, Hulu, Comedy Central, Southpark episodes etc.

Though it's only really Pandora that I miss because I can use BitTorrent for TV episodes.

does allsp.com work for southpark?

I wonder is this all has to do with me not being able to buy the products in your commercials pr something. IDK It's very strange. I have heard that you guys can't view music videos in youtube. Fuck capitalism.

Dimnos May 6th, 2009 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia (Post 627473)
No Pandora, Hulu, Comedy Central, Southpark episodes etc.

Though it's only really Pandora that I miss because I can use BitTorrent for TV episodes.

Damn dude that sucks. Have you tried last.fm? Its basically the same thing as Pandora, but Im pretty sure you can get it in the UK.

kahljorn May 6th, 2009 03:20 PM

I'm almost scared to move out of california because then there won't be as many mexican food places :O There's like 10 of them within walking distance of my house.

Fathom Zero May 6th, 2009 03:21 PM

And I don't think Pandora can scrobble things, can it?

And surely you could use a proxy spoof to fool it into believing you're not from the UK?

Tadao May 6th, 2009 03:39 PM

Same as I can to watch BBC Three I guess.

Kitsa May 6th, 2009 05:37 PM

Science fairs used to make me want to run from school screaming.
Love science, hate the bullshit.

My stuff was always on something like chromatography. The judges glossed over and always went on to pin the biggest award on WHAT BUBBLEGUM FLAVOR LASTS LONGEST or DO PLANTS GROW BETTER WITH MUSIC.

Yeah, fuck you.

Zomboid May 6th, 2009 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia (Post 627473)
No Pandora, Hulu, Comedy Central, Southpark episodes etc.

Though it's only really Pandora that I miss because I can use BitTorrent for TV episodes.

Yeah, same here. You can use allsp.com for south park, though.

Esuohlim May 6th, 2009 08:10 PM


The Leader May 6th, 2009 09:01 PM

It's like the eagle on his shirt is wondering why everyone is staring. He can't see what's above him. :(

Kitsa May 6th, 2009 09:02 PM

My dad used to carry this pic in his wallet (in the 60s) and tell everyone it was his girlfriend, to watch their reaction.


kahljorn May 6th, 2009 10:30 PM

I won at a science fair one time :(
because i made a thermometer that had a frog on it :(

Aaarg May 7th, 2009 12:51 AM

living in a friend's house, i have to share my bed/floor with a couple of these:

kahljorn May 7th, 2009 01:06 AM

she likes you.

for some reason.

Aaarg May 7th, 2009 01:15 AM

apparently she's cold.

Zomboid May 7th, 2009 02:23 AM

Kitty!

Tadao May 7th, 2009 02:57 AM



If it keeps you from murdering hookers I'll be happy.

Kitsa May 7th, 2009 04:36 AM

Pretty kitty.

I slept over at a friend's house one time and woke up with a rat sleeping in my hair. She had neglected to inform me that she had pet rats that she let run around the room at night.

Aaarg May 7th, 2009 10:35 AM

it's hard to resist the urges, taddy.

Kitsa May 7th, 2009 01:32 PM

I came home from a doctor's appointment to find that the dog had had projectile diarrhea all over the wall behind her crate.

I'm beginning to think there's some cosmic force that binds me to a lifetime of cleaning up the shit of others.

Esuohlim May 7th, 2009 01:37 PM


Shyandquietguy May 7th, 2009 02:38 PM

Are you sure your dog just wasn't overly considerate and held until he couldn'ts hold no more?

I've seen it happen!

Kitsa May 7th, 2009 02:51 PM

Well, I was gone from 7:15 to 10:45. Anything is possible, I guess, although I'd just taken her out before I left.

Oh well, accidents happen.

Tadao May 7th, 2009 03:14 PM

Did you check to see if it formed the virgin mary?

Esuohlim May 7th, 2009 03:56 PM


Dimnos May 7th, 2009 04:20 PM

I hope that kid won 1st place. :lol

Kitsa May 7th, 2009 04:35 PM

Best science project ever.

No apparitions, Tadao. Not that it wasn't fun trying to get the dog NOT to back up against the wall (perfect brown asshole-print) or to sit on the carpet (perfect brown asshole-print).

Tadao May 7th, 2009 04:48 PM

These all look like something from an SA thread.

:rolleyes

Tadao May 7th, 2009 10:02 PM

Oh man, I gorged on pizza and vodka. GOODNIGHT

Zomboid May 8th, 2009 04:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 627626)


If it keeps you from murdering hookers I'll be happy.

The umbrella hooker is pretty seeeexxxaaay :love

Kitsa May 8th, 2009 09:04 AM

The umbrella one actually looks like someone I know, which was creeping me out :(

Dixie May 8th, 2009 10:10 AM

PSA:
Even though Baconators have bacon on them, Baconators are not a breakfast food.

Kitsa May 8th, 2009 12:14 PM

For some reason a bunch of diabetes-groups have been adding me on twitter. They seem to believe I a) have diabetes and b)say anything worthwhile, both of which we know to be wrong.

10,000 Volt Ghost May 8th, 2009 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carnivore Is God (Post 627736)
PSA:
Even though Baconators have bacon on them, Baconators are not a breakfast food.

They need Bacos and some beggin strips added on to satisfy my hunger for bacon.

Kitsa May 8th, 2009 12:47 PM

Morningstar farms fake bacon is surprisingly good. I could eat the whole box in one go.

10,000 Volt Ghost May 8th, 2009 12:54 PM

Morningstar farms is the veggie company right?

Kitsa May 8th, 2009 01:09 PM

Yeah, they also make kickass fake sausage patties that I think are better than real sausage. I made fake sausage biscuits this morning.

Tadao May 8th, 2009 01:17 PM

I eat bacon for the out of breath feeling it gives me. It's like a scary roller coaster ride. Am I gonna die today? Who knows!

Kitsa May 8th, 2009 01:24 PM

My grandmother made the most wonderful gravy with a roux of bacon fat and flour. It was one of the warmest, happiest, homiest smells I ever smelled.

Unfortunately, as she was dying her doctors found that she had at least 99% blockages in every major artery :(

Colonel Flagg May 8th, 2009 01:59 PM

In college, I used to eat a personal double pepperoni pizza. It was delectable, down to the little pools of grease inside each round pepperoni slice. :orgasm

If I ate one now, I would undoubtedly drop dead on the spot of congestive heart failure.

Esuohlim May 8th, 2009 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 627678)
These all look like something from an SA thread.

:rolleyes

POP

THAT

CORN

Zomboid May 8th, 2009 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 627767)
In college, I used to eat a personal double pepperoni pizza. It was delectable, down to the little pools of grease inside each round pepperoni slice. :orgasm

If I ate one now, I would undoubtedly drop dead on the spot of congestive heart failure.

I eat unhealthy foods almost exclusively, and what's weird is that I've been losing weight without trying. Last year at Christmas, I was 195 lbs. This past year, I was 175, and now I'm 160.

That's a steady diet of microwave foods, greasy take-out, plenty of alcohol, and cigarettes :(

Sam May 8th, 2009 03:40 PM

maybe you have a tapeworm :(

Tadao May 8th, 2009 03:46 PM

METHMETHMETHMETH

Sam May 8th, 2009 03:54 PM

Zomboid say it ain't sooooooo. :tear

Zomboid May 8th, 2009 04:11 PM

I don't even smoke pot anymore :(

If it is a tapeworm, shouldn't I have shit it out by now?

Dimnos May 8th, 2009 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zomboid (Post 627782)
I don't even smoke pot anymore :(

No more munchies. That explains it all.

Tadao May 8th, 2009 04:33 PM

Tapeworms have a little hook that keep you from shitting them out.

MetalMilitia May 8th, 2009 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zomboid (Post 627782)
I don't even smoke pot anymore :(

If it is a tapeworm, shouldn't I have shit it out by now?

Nah I think they can stay in there for years. Have you been eating much Racoon meat recently?

Zomboid May 8th, 2009 04:40 PM

Nothing but badger and pigeon.

Tadao May 8th, 2009 05:10 PM

Fucking Canadian Bacon.

Colonel Flagg May 8th, 2009 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 627790)
Fucking Canadian Bacon.

I'm from Philly, where we call this Scrapple! In a seven page article in the Inquirer Sunday Magazine, a satirical story was run on this delectable hodgpodge of pork by-products. As summarized below:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Free Online Library
One [ad] campaign showed a tearful American Indian with the caption "Waste is wrong. If you choose to eat pig, eat whole pig." Others feature a pig saying "Pleased to meat you" and a pig face over the caption: "Stuff your face with his." Another, using the tag line "Who cares what's in it" features a toilet bowl with copy describing scrapple as a breakfast meat, a sandwich meat, and a laxative!

It's a floor wax ..... and a dessert topping! :lol

Tadao May 8th, 2009 05:42 PM

Scrapple! Hahahaha But I do love it. :tear

Fathom Zero May 8th, 2009 05:42 PM


Tadao May 8th, 2009 05:43 PM

Munchkin Mickey Carroll



Zomboid May 8th, 2009 05:44 PM

What is Canadian bacon, anyway? Isn't it just back bacon?

What you guys call bacon is what we call bacon :(

Colonel Flagg May 8th, 2009 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 627800)
Munchkin Mickey Carroll



:lol

Kitsa May 8th, 2009 05:50 PM

In some places, canadian bacon = scrapple = pureed headcheese ingredients. In other places, canadian bacon = ham.

Kitsa May 8th, 2009 05:53 PM

not that I have personal experience with either :kosher

Fathom Zero May 8th, 2009 05:58 PM

I didn't realize Ferris Bueller had a Cabaret Voltaire poster on his wall.

Zomboid May 8th, 2009 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 627803)
In some places, canadian bacon = scrapple = pureed headcheese ingredients. In other places, canadian bacon = ham.

I've only had experience with ham. That other thing sounds disgusting.

Tadao May 8th, 2009 06:22 PM

EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I wasn't talking about headcheese :(

Fathom Zero May 8th, 2009 06:31 PM

I love headcheese.

Zomboid May 8th, 2009 06:54 PM


kahljorn May 8th, 2009 07:28 PM

zomboid obviously has diabettes.

Tadao May 8th, 2009 07:30 PM

Diabetes makes you fat though!


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