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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

captain516 Apr 13th, 2010 08:31 PM

Can we talk about Liquid Televison again?

Kitsa Apr 13th, 2010 08:56 PM

the physicians were always doing shit like that to each other.

one guy talked to a colleague before a conference in Denver and told him that Viagra has the side effect of easing altitude sickness. The guy took a bunch of Viagra on the plane and developed priapism.

Someone gave these as gifts because they make your shit look bloody. Then he got a kick out of it if he found out the recipient ordered a stool screen or colonoscopy.

Another guy got the super-wide saran wrap and stretched it over the bowl of the toilet, then put down the seat because his target was known for pissing on the seat. It was stretched so tight it was perfectly clear, you couldn't see it if you weren't looking for it. When the guy went in and pissed, the pee bounced off it like a drum and all over his scrubs. It wasn't too harmful because you just grab more off the linen cart, just a little mean.

Pub Lover Apr 13th, 2010 09:17 PM

After a tiff with my bit of skirt, I was feeling charitable and unblocked some people that maybe should've stayed blocked.
Quote:

[11:53] Axem Cupola: Hiiiiiiii.
[11:53] Pubbles: hullo
[11:54] Axem Cupola: Tell I-mockery that I have lost 60 pounds and that I am down to 205!
[11:54] Pubbles: okay
[11:55] Axem Cupola: And that soon, they'll never be able to call me "sagtits" again.
[11:56] Pubbles: I imagine they will always call you sagtits, my friend. They are not nice people.
[11:56] Axem Cupola: Then that will make them retarded.
[11:57] Axem Cupola: It will prove how pathetic they really are, and how they'll fail at life whever they go, and that they'll always be the ******s, and that outside of their pathetic little forum, they've got no chance against anybody and they'll be buttfucked by big, strong ******s.
[11:57] Pubbles: Um, yes. That is true.
[11:57] Pubbles: You didn't need to prove it.
[11:58] Axem Cupola: That they'll be the little boys with the microscopic penises who even ******s make fun of.
[11:58] Axem Cupola: Oh, but I did. Because now, they're going to be miserable. This is my revenge for their rotton treatment of me.
[11:59] Pubbles: They are already miserible. They are sad, lonely people.
[11:59] Pubbles: If they were good people they would never have treated you so poorly, I'm sure.

Tadao Apr 13th, 2010 10:18 PM

205 pounds of sad. :tear

Pub Lover Apr 13th, 2010 11:13 PM

Spoilers!


..

Grislygus Apr 13th, 2010 11:34 PM

:lol


Who is this person

Tadao Apr 13th, 2010 11:54 PM

The fat mumbling Japanophile know as Clement.

Terra Apr 13th, 2010 11:58 PM

I remember Clement. Not much more, though.

The Leader Apr 14th, 2010 12:00 AM

Tell Clement that I miss him and that he should kill himself, k Pub?

Grislygus Apr 14th, 2010 12:22 AM

He was 265 POUNDS?! JESUS RATFUCKING CHRIST

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 12:24 AM


Grislygus Apr 14th, 2010 12:24 AM

His face did NOT denote that. Fat face, yes, but not PORKBEAST. Was he a fucking human Weeble or something?

Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 12:36 AM

Spoilers!

..

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 12:42 AM

:lol Those are some seriously retarded thought trees. I bet his parents are related.

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 12:55 AM

http://jonathanclement.proboards.com...lay&thread=122

Ahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahah

RaNkeri Apr 14th, 2010 12:58 AM

COULD THIS MARK THE RETURN OF CLEMENT?


FOR THE 5TH TIME?

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 01:00 AM




HE'S GONNA EAT THE BABY!

Holy fuck what an inbred family.

Grislygus Apr 14th, 2010 01:01 AM

What the hell is he bitching about? Did he get banned again or something?

Grislygus Apr 14th, 2010 01:04 AM

Even in that picture, he does not look like he nearly weighed NEARLY 300 POUNDS, did he stash it all in his beefneck?

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 01:07 AM

:lol

RaNkeri Apr 14th, 2010 01:07 AM

http://jonathanclement.proboards.com...lay&thread=429

Same old john

Grislygus Apr 14th, 2010 01:08 AM

I'm actually going to break I-Mockery tradition and CONGRATULATE the poor bastard, Holy Mary Mother of God

Grislygus Apr 14th, 2010 01:19 AM

Now that I've read the links to his forum, I wish that I hadn't already used "Holy Mary Mother of God". It was a just humorous statement, I didn't realize that it was completely fucking appropriate

The forum would be hilarious if it wasn't full of sad, weird people trying to reason with an OBVIOUS CRAZY PERSON

RaNkeri Apr 14th, 2010 01:23 AM

Clement was the best thing to ever happen to I-mockery

Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 01:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 680662)
Even in that picture, he does not look like he nearly weighed NEARLY 300 POUNDS, did he stash it all in his beefneck?

Spoilers!

..

Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 01:24 AM

:pagebrak

Grislygus Apr 14th, 2010 01:32 AM

Quote:

[16:22] Axem Cupola:
"Even in that picture, he does not look like he nearly weighed NEARLY 300 POUNDS, did he stash it all in his beefneck?"
[16:22] Axem Cupola: That's what Grislygus said.
[16:22] Axem Cupola: Quote it and respond "Heavy bones, maybe?
So he lost sixty pounds of bone marrow?

Wiffles Apr 14th, 2010 01:50 AM

before and after pix plz~

Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 02:06 AM

Hullo Wiffles, How are you? :love
Quote:

Originally Posted by Wiffles (Post 680673)
before and after pix plz~

Spoilers!

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 03:13 AM

Normal weight for a mid western inbred fgt

kahljorn Apr 14th, 2010 03:18 AM

Spoilers!


:O his bones are made of gold

Zhukov Apr 14th, 2010 03:50 AM

Hello Wiffles, how are you? Do anything interesting lately? :)


I know a guy with cerebral palsy, his right arm and leg are very horribly disfigured, and he has trouble speaking. He was so bummed that he was a virgin that he was going to pay for a prostitute and get it over and done with, but I managed to help him realise that virginity isn't as important/bad as people make it out to be, and that finding someone genuine rather than paying someone to force themselves to have sex with you is a much better alternative, and one that you would at least not look back on with regret. Pub, tell Jonathan Clements that if my disfigured acquaintance can deal with using his personality to have sex, then his fat body and mental-ness can do the same. :)

Wiffles Apr 14th, 2010 05:35 AM

I havent done anything interesting in a while, just opened up my 5 yr old laptop and cleaned all the dust. runs cooler and faster now. ^.^

executioneer Apr 14th, 2010 05:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 680685)
finding someone genuine rather than paying someone to force themselves to have sex with you is a much better alternative

oh yeah, that works real great >: >: :(

elx Apr 14th, 2010 08:29 AM

jonathan clement is eucky :( he will never be unblocked &you guys are crazy

Kitsa Apr 14th, 2010 09:54 AM

reading the past few pages of this thread is like when one of those basic cable channels plays Carrie over and over and over again.

Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 11:35 AM

Spoilers!


..

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 14th, 2010 11:46 AM

I bet he works at a jerk office too.

Zhukov Apr 14th, 2010 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 680698)
jonathan clement is eucky :( he will never be unblocked &you guys are crazy

Unblocked? You mean as in on MSN or something? Why would you add him in the first place?

Dimnos Apr 14th, 2010 01:58 PM

Thats what I was just wondering. Why are any of you talking to him in any form? :\

The Leader Apr 14th, 2010 02:02 PM

Because he's funny.

RaNkeri Apr 14th, 2010 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dimnos (Post 680720)
Thats what I was just wondering. Why are any of you talking to him in any form? :\

Plenty of his old gems are stored in thread backups section

Esuohlim Apr 14th, 2010 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaNkeri (Post 680722)
Plenty of his old gems are stored in thread backups section

:miamivicefuckyeah

Zhukov Apr 14th, 2010 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 680726)
:miamivicefuckyeah

Banned.

elx Apr 14th, 2010 03:12 PM

he started messaging me and i didn't know who he was :(

as for them i have no idea why they'd be voluntarily be talking to him, that's why i called them crazy!

Dimnos Apr 14th, 2010 03:19 PM

If by funny you mean "in the head" then sure. :\

Zhukov Apr 14th, 2010 03:25 PM

I don't think I understand instant messaging these days. I was under the impression that someone had to be added to your 'network' or something like that before you could talk to them.

Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dimnos (Post 680720)
Thats what I was just wondering. Why are any of you talking to him in any form? :\

I am willing to talk to anyone that wants to talk to me. I unblock everyone eventually.

Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 680733)
I don't think I understand instant messaging these days. I was under the impression that someone had to be added to your 'network' or something like that before you could talk to them.

It can be set so anyone can contact you. If you are lonely like me.

Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 04:53 PM

[quote=elx;680728as for them i have no idea why they'd be voluntarily be talking to him, that's why i called them crazy![/QUOTE]

I feel sorry for him. He is so bitter over something he brings on himself. the people that originally made him feel bad don't even post here any more.

Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 04:54 PM

:pagebreak

Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 04:55 PM

dammit

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 05:07 PM

I'm going through my porno from the 90's. It's almost like I can see were things started to go wrong for me.

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 05:08 PM


Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 05:26 PM

Hahhaah I was really into black girls with big asses and tiny waists in rubber socking on cock. It really is good stuff but any GF would be sad to find that on my hard drive.

Sam Apr 14th, 2010 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 680745)
I'm going through my porno from the 90's. It's almost like I can see were things started to go wrong for me.

IT'S LIKE MASTURBATING IN A TIME MACHINE.

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 05:36 PM

Oh man, Russian nylon lesbian rape with classical music and no voice and no nudity. One girl appears to be knocked out from drugs. I wonder if I should turn this over to the police?

Sam Apr 14th, 2010 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 680741)
I feel sorry for him. He is so bitter over something he brings on himself. the people that originally made him feel bad don't even post here any more.

I'M STILL HERE

executioneer Apr 14th, 2010 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam (Post 680748)
IT'S LIKE MASTURBATING IN A TIME MACHINE.

a hot tub time machine

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 06:17 PM

One day when they uncover my archive, they will truly know what computers did to the men.

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 06:31 PM

Hey Esu


Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 06:46 PM

:lol Anita Blonde drove me "nuts"


Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 06:51 PM

This isn't the porn or pretty ladies thread. >:

I think they are in loveline? :confused

Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam (Post 680750)
I'M STILL HERE

I hope you find that as sad a statement as I do.

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 06:53 PM

OMG I just found a cd of really choice porn. I'm gonna have dick blisters.

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 07:11 PM

Anita Blonde has that same kind of buck toothed retarded look that Terra gets.

HAWT

Fathom Zero Apr 14th, 2010 07:17 PM

I always thought Belladonna was cute for that.

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 08:11 PM

Funny life fact.

Byrne fuck my shit up. Then Eno put it all back together. Then they worked together and it was 5 years too late to be my life soundtrack.

Fathom Zero Apr 14th, 2010 08:15 PM

They did some stuff again, recently, but I remember you saying you didn't dig it all that much.

Fathom Zero Apr 14th, 2010 08:16 PM



Goddamn.

The Leader Apr 14th, 2010 08:37 PM

The head does not fit the body.

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 08:49 PM

Yeah, Bella fits that profile, she a 2000 girl? Gonna have to star a porn appreciation thread if this keeps up.

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Leader (Post 680768)
The head does not fit the body.

Cool, you can scratch those girls off your list of fuckables. :rolleyes

Fathom Zero Apr 14th, 2010 08:50 PM



Hard to find a good looking picture of her that is safe for work, y'dig?

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 680766)
They did some stuff again, recently, but I remember you saying you didn't dig it all that much.

I wasn't as great as the first but 10 years from now it will be better than all.

Fathom Zero Apr 14th, 2010 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 680770)
Cool, you can scratch those girls off your list of fuckables. :rolleyes

Yeah. He's got a lot of reason to be picky. :lol

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 08:53 PM


Fathom Zero Apr 14th, 2010 08:54 PM

:O oooooooooo

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 08:55 PM


Fathom Zero Apr 14th, 2010 09:05 PM

Make the thread, Tadao. <3

Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 09:24 PM

Yes, please do make the thread.


In loveline.

Fathom Zero Apr 14th, 2010 09:27 PM

Pub's tired of looking at sexy ladies.

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 09:29 PM

SEXY RETARDED LADIES

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 09:32 PM


Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 09:33 PM

Pub is waiting for his lady to decide if she'll still be his lady tomorrow. He is not in the mood for pornstores that look eerily like his lady. That is like some cosmic kick in the balls right there, he would say.

Pornstores. :dunce

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 09:34 PM


Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 09:34 PM

EAT MY ASS PUB

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 09:38 PM

It'll keep Kitsa from talking about feminine shit.

Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 09:40 PM

haha! okay, T. <3

Fathom Zero Apr 14th, 2010 09:43 PM

Mmmmm. Nice.

:punchtheclown

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 09:46 PM

I wanna say photoshop, but everyone knows porn stars take enough drugs that when they turn their head the blood drains and their face turns pale white while the rest of their body is golden tan.

JUST LIKE KITSA'S BABY! ;) ;) ;)

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 09:47 PM

I wanna say photoshop, but everyone knows porn stars take enough drugs that when they turn their head the blood drains and their face turns pale white while the rest of their body is golden tan.

JUST LIKE KITSA'S BABY! ;) ;) ;)

Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 09:48 PM

You don't have to jerk off between each post you know, guys. :rolleyes


I learned that the hard way. :orgasm

Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 09:49 PM

Ooooooh, soooooo hard. :wank

Tadao Apr 14th, 2010 09:50 PM

OH MAN A SEXTUPLE! I ANINT EDITING THAT! SCORE

My sextuplite post turned into a doublet.

:(

Fathom Zero Apr 14th, 2010 09:50 PM

Well, her legs are a similar color. As is her crack. It's probably just the light.

Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 09:53 PM

You guys might be looking too close at that picture for the wrong reasons.

Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 10:04 PM

There isn't really any right reasons as we're not proctologists.

My spell check has cryptologist, parasitologist, & palaeontologist but not proctologist? :eek

Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 10:47 PM

:facestab

Pub Lover Apr 14th, 2010 10:48 PM

Oh, I remember. It's... :goth


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