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-   -   A QUICK MSG FROM THE BARACK OBAMA SMEAR CAMPAIGN OPERATOR (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69699814)

McClain May 27th, 2008 03:41 PM

In light of his inevitable procurement of the democratic candidacy, I'd like to take this opportunity to summate a list of facts we have released.

• Obama is a radical Muslim who was sworn in to office using a Quran vice a Bible
• His church imprisons and tortures whites in a rectory-turned dungeon
• He's endorsed by the KKK
• He's funded by Hugo Chavez
• He fits the profile for the anti-Christ
• He lobbied to have the Duck Tales theme song changed to "Ducktales! (a-whooh ooh) America Sucks!"
• Half of his African family overdosed or are in jail
• He won't wear an American flag pin on his lapel because it clashes with is ebony zoot suit and suede shoes.
• He refuses to put his hand over his heart during the national anthem because the miniature ghost of Malcolm X lives in his ear and instructed him that doing so would alienate him from the armless American demographic
• He places euros in the offering plate
• He refuses to step foot in church because as soon as he crosses the threshold baby Malcolm X bites down on his tympanic membrane
• He speaks in the speaker and listens through the receiver
• He's the lovechild of Al Sharpton and Rev. Jesse Jackson
• He hired a witch doctor to exorcise the Caucasian that burns within his flesh
• He tried to eat my baby at a press event
• His first wife, a Chechnyan dwarf named Bogdana, was arrested for distributing LSD from the trunk of her Yugo
• If you rearrange the letters his 2nd book is actually titled "You Acid Path Foe!"
• He doesn't subscribe to the fact that Jesus was white
• He said that the picture of the crying bald eagle superimposed with the twin towers in the background wasn't real and that the bald eagle didn't actually cry
• He carries box cutters on commercial flights
• His iris glows red with the flames of hell

Thank you.

Colonel Flagg May 27th, 2008 08:49 PM

He also folds, spindles and mutilates official government documentation, and rips tags from mattresses willy-nilly. What a miscreant! :lol

Tadao May 27th, 2008 09:46 PM

He actually does fit the profile of the antichrist, but I don't really believe in that stuff anyways.

pac-man May 28th, 2008 12:07 AM


He hired a witch doctor to exorcise the Caucasian that burns within his flesh
That's not a bad thing at all.

mburbank May 28th, 2008 11:08 AM

Jerry Fallwell said the anti-christ was alive today, in his forties and a Jew. Barack doesn't fit the profile. I do.

Dr. Boogie May 28th, 2008 12:14 PM

Now that's a limmerick.

Tadao Aug 1st, 2008 09:00 PM

He is too skinny to be our President.

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