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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Sam Jan 22nd, 2010 08:59 PM

Willie makes awesome cookies. :eek

I still owe him for the ones I received. :x

kahljorn Jan 22nd, 2010 10:22 PM

My computer now has less than 20% life :( I"M SORRY GUYS BUT IM GOING TO BE LEAVING YOU FOR A WHILE :TEARS

kahljorn Jan 22nd, 2010 10:24 PM

GOOD BYE MY FRIENDS I WILL MISS YOU

kahljorn Jan 22nd, 2010 10:25 PM

MAYBE ILL BE BACK TOMORROW THOUGH CAUSE I MIGHT JUST FIX MY PHONELINE MYSELF

liquidstatik Jan 23rd, 2010 12:59 AM

so guys i just realized i've never payed taxes and now idk what to do :<

WhiteRat Jan 23rd, 2010 01:20 AM

Don't do anything. Just continue living your life never caring or minding these so called "taxes".

liquidstatik Jan 23rd, 2010 01:24 AM

well i've been doin' that for about 6 years, but i'm not sure that's a good idea. D:

kahljorn Jan 23rd, 2010 08:15 AM

it probably doesn't matter so much unless you would owe the government money.

i think there's a way to file backtaxes though just talk to some tax dudes

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 23rd, 2010 11:12 AM

You can file backtaxes and you're in the clear as long as you don't owe anything. I never got my taxes done from last year so I have to file this and last years again.

Kitsa Jan 23rd, 2010 12:13 PM

I knew someone who didn't pay taxes for years at a stretch and collected the letters from the IRS and state in his trunk, where they molded.

WhiteRat Jan 23rd, 2010 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 669170)
You can file backtaxes and you're in the clear as long as you don't owe anything. I never got my taxes done from last year so I have to file this and last years again.

If you don't owe the government any money you have up to 3 years to file back taxes and get a refund back.

I know this for a fact because 4 months ago I filed my 2006 taxes and received a cool $1300 back.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 23rd, 2010 02:26 PM

I better get on that then.

RaNkeri Jan 23rd, 2010 05:13 PM

Miami Vice, fuck yeah

WhiteRat Jan 23rd, 2010 05:22 PM

Helsinki Ice, fuck yeah

RaNkeri Jan 23rd, 2010 05:30 PM

TURKU MOTHERFUCKER

Fathom Zero Jan 23rd, 2010 07:35 PM

:lol

Today I found out how heavy water is when you carry a load of laundry up six flights of stairs.

Guitar Woman Jan 23rd, 2010 10:13 PM

I ordered an herbal smoking blend saturated with synthetic cannabinoids. They came in the mail today!

Smoked 6 bowls of it over the last hour, doesn't do shit. Fucking bananna-smoking erowid assholes.

The weird thing was that Vinny Todd Buttafuoco swears it works, and he doesn't fuck around. So, either I got ripped off or he's trollin'.

bigtimecow Jan 23rd, 2010 11:14 PM

what? salvia you rere

Fathom Zero Jan 23rd, 2010 11:20 PM

WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU, BUT YOU COULD NOT BE FOUUUUUUUND

Guitar Woman Jan 23rd, 2010 11:24 PM

Quote:

what? salvia you rere
It's not salvia; it's a bunch of herbs saturated with synthetic cannabinoids that are supposed to get you high like weed without containing any substances like THC that get you in trouble during drug tests.

I bought it because I was curious about weed, but can't be arsed to go and make nice with a guy who knows a guy. Anyway, I mad

Grislygus Jan 24th, 2010 12:02 AM

what the hell do you mean "make nice with a guy who knows a guy", just go to a party for chrissakes

unless you have cocksucker friends who wont pass it along

Grislygus Jan 24th, 2010 12:07 AM

whaddaya mean "make nice with a guy who knows a guy"? Just go to a damn party

Grislygus Jan 24th, 2010 12:10 AM

GOD MY PHONE HATES INTERNET

Guitar Woman Jan 24th, 2010 01:03 AM

The other truth is that I don't have any friends, except one who I don't talk to anymore and is friends with a bunch of fat mexican chicks who want to jump my bones

Basically, I'm not the first person who'd know where to find a party, and none of my friends really are either

I guess I could just buy seeds from a headshop and grow my own weed, but fuck that, too, I'd rather get more opiates.

Tadao Jan 24th, 2010 02:16 AM

MEDICAL MARIJUANA LICENSE wtf

Fathom Zero Jan 24th, 2010 02:20 AM

Hey Tadao

bigtimecow Jan 24th, 2010 02:56 AM

didn't you say something about fat mexican girls? clearly they can get you weed

Grislygus Jan 24th, 2010 03:37 AM

this is true

ENGAGE AND BEWARE OF PRICE GOUGING

Sam Jan 24th, 2010 03:41 AM

SMOKE WEED

executioneer Jan 24th, 2010 04:18 AM

GW I COULD PROB. GET YOU WEED I KNOW HELL OF POTHEADS

kahljorn Jan 24th, 2010 06:55 AM

IF YOU GROW WEED ITLL TAKE LIKE THREE MONTHS SO YOU SHOULD PROLLY JUSt FIND SOMEONE COOl TO BUY IT FROM/PRETEND LIKE YOU HAVE A MIGRAINE AND GO TO THE OREgon CANNABIS CLUB ;/

TIPS FOR BUYING GOOD WEED: MAKE SURE IT DOESNT HAVE SEEDS/LOOK ALL FLAT/SMASHED AND COW PATTYISH. MAKE SURE IT SMELLS LIKE SKUNKS OR CANDY OR COFFEE NOT GRASS ALTHOUGH SOMETIMES grASSY SMELLING WEED IS OK BUT ITS A GAMBLE. ALSO IF ITS ALL DENSE THAT HELPS TOO BUT ITS NOT NECESSARY. ALSO IT SHOULD LOOK LIKE ITS COATED IN SUGAR WHich ARE CRYSTAls AND It Should HAVe prettY BRIGHT HAIRS (ALTHOUGH ITS NOT ALWAYS LIKE THIS) AND it SHOULDNt BE DARK COLORED GREEN. SOMETIMES IF ITS TOO LIGHT GREENISH IT IS SOMETIMES HARVESTED EARLY SO YOU GOTTA WATCH OUT FOR THAT TOO, BUT USUALLY itS OKAY. THESE ARE JUST GENERAL GUIDELINES GOOD WEED CAN SOMETIMES TRANScEND ALL OF THIS :O DEFNITLEY WATCH OUT FOR SEEDS/BAD ASMELSLSDS COWPATTYISHNESS
WILLIE PROLLY KNOWS SOME PEOPLE WITH goOD WEED :O

elx Jan 24th, 2010 07:13 AM

or you could just like not. you know, save your cash and potentially your ass.

Zhukov Jan 24th, 2010 07:38 AM

I get absolutely brain melting migraines, and people keep telling me I should smoke pot.

First of all, I don't want to fucking smoke pot. Second, if I can't see, have lost feeling and function to half of my body, can't speak, can barely move other than to squirm and scream in pain, how am I supposed to smoke pot?

Nobody answer. I don't want to smoke fucking pot.

elx Jan 24th, 2010 07:51 AM

my friends always tell me i should smoke pot, because it's not a "big deal and i wont get in trouble", but that's such bullshit here. we have a thing where they put all of the mugshots taken in the last week up online and on the news and over half of our arrests are marijuana related.

it's always listed as possession and it's usually combined with stuff like with driving while impaired, reckless endangerment, probation violation, drug paraphernalia, trafficking marijuana, selling a controlled substance, controlled substance within 300 ft of a school, etcetc. by the time they're done stacking up charges for the hell of it, some of these kids are in 5-10 years.

there are a lot of things you should consider GW, like whether or not you are heavily susceptible to addictions and how your local area treats it. :\

kahljorn Jan 24th, 2010 08:08 AM

Zhukov, they make drinks, pills, foods, candies and i think patches and shit you can take instead of smoking it (although they prolly dont have a lot of that stuff in australia). but do whatever you feel comfortable with. Personally, if I have a headache -- although its not really quite a migraine -- and I smoke I usually feel a lot better.

GW lives in Oregon (I think) where its practically legal. Where I live (california) if you get caught with under an ounce of weed you just get a misdeamenor charge which is like an 80 dollar fee -- a slap on the wrist.

Also elx, you're an idiot. Just shut up. I hate you. You're so stupid. Most of the stuff you listed has nothing to do with pot but with selling/being an idiot on it. Also "some of these kids?" Ok. Smoking weed and selling it isn't the same thing, yet you are wiling to consider them as a whole and transfer the penalties of the whole onto a smaller part which doesn't carry the same penalties. This is called a fallacy of division.
:BASICREASONINGSKILLS :lol

"GW i should warn you that you shouldn't even consider buying a gun. Many people who have guns end up going to jail for possession of an unlicensed fire arm, concealing a weapon, farting in public, and murder I. Some of these kids end up serving 10-50 years in jail, maybe even life or the death penalty! These are some things you should consider."

OMGWHATAMIDOINGIVEBEENSETUP

elx Jan 24th, 2010 08:18 AM

you're the one giving the kid a manual on how to obtain and pick quality pot when he simply said he was curious about it, a kid that's already drinking underage and addicted to fucking cigarettes. all i said to him was to make sure he thinks about it and considers the things that are relevant to him and only him, yet i'm the stupid one?

i hope to fucking god that you never reproduce, but i presume that you're as selfish as you are retarded, so there goes that!

Zhukov Jan 24th, 2010 08:24 AM

I've been prescribed morphine for my headaches, and all it does is make me sleepy rather than stop the pain. I don't take anything for them now. I don't know whether pot would do anything, however, that's not the reason I don't want to try it.

I just find stoned people extremely annoying and they smell. If it was legal I still wouldn't take it, try it or find it less annoying.

Zhukov Jan 24th, 2010 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 669322)
you're the one giving the kid a manual on how to obtain and pick quality pot when he simply said he was curious about it, a kid that's already drinking underage and addicted to fucking cigarettes. all i said to him was to make sure he thinks about it and considers the things that are relevant to him and only him, yet i'm the stupid one?

i hope to fucking god that you never reproduce, but i presume that you're as selfish as you are retarded, so there goes that!

:lol

Wait wait wait, GW is a KID? Well I didn't know that.

Also, if Kahl were to reproduce I would be pretty amazed.

elx Jan 24th, 2010 08:33 AM

why would you be amazed? parenthood among irresponsible dumbfucks is a popular trend these days.

and yes, GW is still very young.

kahljorn Jan 24th, 2010 08:47 AM

He already does opiates (PROLLY WORSE THAN WEED) and said that he wants to buy some but can't find it, not JUST that he was curious. In fact he already ordered something that is supposed to have the same affect as weed.
Elx, you're stupid because none of the shit you said makes any sense; I'm stupid because I told a kid who was already interested in weed how to get good stuff instead of bad stuff. Basically, I'm stupid because I give people good information and you're stupid because you say stupid shit. I'll take the former.
he's not a kid he's over 18; older than you are I think.

Elx I'm sure you'll have kids but not because you want to. it'll start the night you turn 20something and you finally get over being a prudish cunt so you can pretend to be better than people on the internet, and you'll be desperate to make up for all the years you denied yourself any sort of fun or pleasure so you'll get really drunk and fuck every guy in a bar for like years. You'll finally get pregnant and then you'll be too pretentious and "good" to get an abortion and you'll go back to being a prude until after you have the kid and then you will become addicted to prescription medicines to escape the fact that you've wasted your life in every way possible.

insults by elx: YOURE GONNA HAVE KIDS

kahljorn Jan 24th, 2010 08:52 AM

"I just find stoned people extremely annoying and they smell. "

If you didn't smoke it and ingested it in another form you wouldn't smell like it and do you find people's grandmothers who take it for their glaucoma to be annoying cause thats kind of mean. they're grandmas for christs sake!

executioneer Jan 24th, 2010 09:05 AM

grandmas smell either way

kahljorn Jan 24th, 2010 10:01 AM


I guess that should say CHILREN

Fathom Zero Jan 24th, 2010 10:56 AM

GW is a few months older than me, I'd wager.

bigtimecow Jan 24th, 2010 12:30 PM

is this seriously what the fuck we're talking about

yesterday someone posts a video of jizz in my pants and now one member is telling another member they hope they don't reproduce. are you guys fucking 15?

SMOKE WEED, DRINK UNDERAGE, PIRATE VIDEO GAMES, AND STEAL PORN FUCK YOU

RaNkeri Jan 24th, 2010 01:03 PM

GODDAMN

Sam Jan 24th, 2010 02:33 PM

FUCKING HELL

Tadao Jan 24th, 2010 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 669299)
Hey Tadao

Sup dood

Tadao Jan 24th, 2010 03:15 PM

Zhukov, I've heard that there isn't really anything they have found yet to relieve migraines. I've never had one so I've never looked into it, but I've had a few friends get them and they have said that nothing anyone tells them to do or try helps.

:(

Tadao Jan 24th, 2010 03:17 PM

Kahl, you should rape elx and kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Tadao Jan 24th, 2010 03:17 PM

:pagebrak

Rankeri, you fat fucking fuck faced fatty

Tadao Jan 24th, 2010 03:18 PM

everyone else is left out for a reason YOU KNOW WHY >:

Sam Jan 24th, 2010 03:19 PM

>:

Guitar Woman Jan 24th, 2010 04:19 PM

I just read the last page of this thread.

lolwut?

Tadao Jan 24th, 2010 04:22 PM

you should huff poop

RaNkeri Jan 24th, 2010 04:24 PM

CSI Miami, fuck YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

Guitar Woman Jan 24th, 2010 04:35 PM

let me see if I can address this clusterfuck in any sort of order

Quote:

there are a lot of things you should consider GW, like whether or not you are heavily susceptible to addictions and how your local area treats it.
It's literally impossible to become addicted to marijuana. Not in the same way you could be addicted to, oh, heroin, wherein you become physically sick when going for too long without it. Anyone who has ever told you that you can become a marijuana addict is a fucking liar and should be punched directly in the dick. Speaking of heroin, marijuana also won't cause heroin to materialize in front of you and proceed to force you to inject it into your eyeballs. I am saying this in case your DARE officer couldn't be arsed to even repeat false information and just showed everyone in your class Reefer Madness while he went to do something less demeaning.

Quote:

you're the one giving the kid a manual on how to obtain and pick quality pot when he simply said he was curious about it, a kid that's already drinking underage and addicted to fucking cigarettes.
I am not addicted, I could quit any time I want. Cigarettes and alcohol and all the other loverly substances I put into my system are just so fucking fantastic that, why would I ever want to?

Quote:

I just find stoned people extremely annoying and they smell. If it was legal I still wouldn't take it, try it or find it less annoying.
I generally think along these lines, it's just that, if mankind has been toking up for thousands of years, I should at least trust our entire lineage and check out what I'm missing before I denounce an entire subculture and the drug they revolve around.

Also, I'm 19, and fuck you, elx, I'm not taking the advice of a fucking Degrassi character.

You remind me of another 16 year old girl on my other forum. She recently pulled the stick out of her ass and started a love affair with Southern Comfort. She is much more pleasant to be around!

Guitar Woman Jan 24th, 2010 04:38 PM

Jenkem is da best

Tadao Jan 24th, 2010 05:01 PM

Jenkem is the shit

executioneer Jan 24th, 2010 05:08 PM

IT CERTAINLY IS, POINTED WINK

Chojin Jan 24th, 2010 05:13 PM

You can become mentally addicted to pretty much anything, but it's true that physical dependencies don't form from marijuana.

However if elx was asking you about addictive personality symptoms she was probably referring to the mental aspect.

Tadao Jan 24th, 2010 05:14 PM

Also don't forget to wear a sweater or you might catch a cold and die.

Guitar Woman Jan 24th, 2010 05:17 PM

In that case, no, I don't have an addictive personality.

I don't really believe in mental addiction at all, since I'm an adaptive motherfucker, and I've come off physically addictive medications before without much effort.

Granted, I probably could have used the speed, but that shit's neuro-toxic.

Tadao Jan 24th, 2010 05:19 PM

I'll say, I hate being around you.

Guitar Woman Jan 24th, 2010 05:21 PM

u mad?

Tadao Jan 24th, 2010 05:25 PM

If I was mad I would ignore you instead of engage you in fisticuffs. :(

Kitsa Jan 24th, 2010 05:40 PM

Has anyone else's mouth gone numb after chewing a certain type of gum? Because I chewed a piece of Trident Sweet Mint, my mouth felt like I'd just gotten a shot at the dentist's, and that shit was pretty freaky.

Tadao Jan 24th, 2010 05:44 PM

That's odd, don't chew anymore of it.

Kitsa Jan 24th, 2010 05:52 PM

I definitely won't. I brushed my teeth, used mouthwash, drank a huge glass of gatorade and ate something, and in about half an hour it went away.

Wiffles Jan 24th, 2010 05:53 PM

maybe its an allergic reaction of some sort. @@

Tadao Jan 24th, 2010 05:56 PM

try it on a neighbor kid and see what happens

Kitsa Jan 24th, 2010 06:05 PM

yeah, but then I'd have to interact with the neighbor kid. No thanks.

Babs Jan 24th, 2010 06:17 PM

Is the neighbors kid allergic to mutual touching?

bigtimecow Jan 24th, 2010 06:27 PM

lol gatorade in a glass

Kitsa Jan 24th, 2010 06:41 PM

The gallon was a bit much for me at once.

Tadao Jan 24th, 2010 06:43 PM

:pagebrak

Sam Jan 24th, 2010 07:06 PM

YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO LICK IT OFF OF SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN DRINKING IT AND PARTICIPATING IN SPORTS BECAUSE IT SEEPS OUT OF THEIR PORES IN A VARIETY OF NEON COLORS

Kitsa Jan 24th, 2010 07:28 PM

That "float like a butterfly, float, float, float like a butterfly, and sting like a bee, bee, sting like a bee" commercial annoys the piss out of me.

kahljorn Jan 24th, 2010 08:21 PM

Quote:

Kahl, you should rape elx and kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
she's too small i would probably end up murdering her ;/

plus I can't keep it up when I'm banging pretentious girls, she'd probably wear a monocole and the entire time lecture me on how I should be doing it in the appropriate missionary style and how I'm not doing the missionary position right because my penis isn't at the exact pre-determined angle I dunno dude it seems like too much work. I'd probably have to google for like five hours before i could even have sex with her.

elx Jan 24th, 2010 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 669377)
Also, I'm 19, and fuck you, elx, I'm not taking the advice of a fucking Degrassi character.

yeah you'd just like to be one :rolleyes:

elx Jan 24th, 2010 09:04 PM

and also i am not a prude in any way shape or form, and if that's how i came across it's ya'lls own fault imo -

Spoilers!

Wiffles Jan 24th, 2010 09:13 PM

aww dont mind them, People like to heckle, but they really love you, and wish they were like you ^.^

Grislygus Jan 24th, 2010 09:20 PM

blablablablaBLABLAHNAOWnolonger interested in getting up to speed on the chat thread

how yalldoin

Fathom Zero Jan 24th, 2010 09:20 PM

I like you elx. You too, Wiffles. :tear

Fathom Zero Jan 24th, 2010 09:21 PM

wudoin gris

Grislygus Jan 24th, 2010 09:24 PM

Writing more crap and laughing at the Racial Slur Database

I really, really adore how slurs like "Ape" and "Ace of Spades" are supposedly "self explanatory", and how the database assures us that the Chinese actually did use to eat their babies

bigtimecow Jan 24th, 2010 09:35 PM

i start classes tomorrow mother fuckers :eek

Grislygus Jan 24th, 2010 09:37 PM

Congrajamulations, I guess

Kitsa Jan 24th, 2010 09:40 PM

By this time day after tomorrow, I'll have a kid.

:hypno

Tadao Jan 24th, 2010 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 669420)
when i started here i was good to just draw shit out, but almost everyone complained about it being annoying. so, i started using words but then you guys bitched about me not contributing anything and just being a character. so, i started saying serious stuff and tried to keep the sarcasm down but then i became a pretentious know-it-all, so i stopped. then you guys bitched about me just being nice to make everyone like me, so i was like k screw that shit and from there on to here i've completely avoided being nice and started saying whatever i felt like, then you guys still bitched, so i left!

but then i came back and saw that you guys noticed i was gone and some of you actually had enjoyed my presence here, so i stuck around, but then i get pms from like sherlock homo telling me to buzz off and SO ON to what is currently happening so i am sorry if you don't like it, but you guys won't be happy with anything because you're whiny little bitches and i already tried:(

Now you should try being yourself.

Tadao Jan 24th, 2010 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 669429)
By this time day after tomorrow, I'll have a kid.

:hypno

I wanna see you belly :(

Fathom Zero Jan 24th, 2010 09:48 PM

That's a bit of a game-changer.

Colonel Flagg Jan 24th, 2010 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 669429)
By this time day after tomorrow, I'll have a kid.

:hypno

Prenatal Congratulations! :ouchie

kahljorn Jan 24th, 2010 10:24 PM

Quote:

from there on to here i've completely avoided being nice and started saying whatever i felt like, then you guys still bitched, so i left!
That's a step in the right direction! its just a shame thst all the shit you feel like saying is unintentionally retarded!

kahljorn Jan 24th, 2010 10:27 PM

:lol just kidding you're alright.

I FIXED MY OWN WORLD WIDE INTERNETS :O

but for some reason my phone still doesn't work ;/ maybe it got shut off or something.

Colonel Flagg Jan 24th, 2010 10:32 PM

I'm an effing moron. I can't ever read the instructions and do something right the first time. I always do it wrong first, then see what I did, fix it, then I'm OK from then on. This happened to me twice today. Does anyone else suffer from this condition?

kahljorn Jan 24th, 2010 10:35 PM

Sometimes, but sometimes making mistakes instills theknowledge deep within your mind :O

Colonel Flagg Jan 24th, 2010 11:04 PM

Ain't it the truth. :(

Those mistakes I won't make again. :tear

Babs Jan 24th, 2010 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 669429)
By this time day after tomorrow, I'll have a kid.

:hypno

:party

Tadao Jan 24th, 2010 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 669442)
I'm an effing moron. I can't ever read the instructions and do something right the first time. I always do it wrong first, then see what I did, fix it, then I'm OK from then on. This happened to me twice today. Does anyone else suffer from this condition?

Don't you work with chemicals? :(


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