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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

LordSappington Feb 3rd, 2011 12:37 AM

I walked to and from the coffee shop we hang out at, which is about four miles away. On my way back, I passed some guy getting his mail, and shivering violently. He asked me what in the world I was doing out in the cold, to which I replied "Chllin'." I feel complete now.

Tadao Feb 3rd, 2011 12:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 711857)


It's that time of the year. To seize.

Weird, I think your post seized up the chat thread. I can't get to the next page.

Tadao Feb 3rd, 2011 12:58 AM

Well that post made it so I could get to this page. Crazy weird dude.

Fathom Zero Feb 3rd, 2011 01:22 AM

i'm a wizard

Zhukov Feb 3rd, 2011 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordSappington (Post 711858)
I walked to and from the coffee shop we hang out at, which is about four miles away. On my way back, I passed some guy getting his mail, and shivering violently. He asked me what in the world I was doing out in the cold, to which I replied "Chllin'." I feel complete now.

Haha.

The mainland got fucked up today with rain and storm - but it was a really nice day down here. Like, the first time this summer. I think my islands happiness is determined by the misery of the rest of the country.

MarioRPG Feb 3rd, 2011 09:03 AM

Tadao, Zhukov: Thanks for the well wishes and yes, it was crazy cool
For everyone’s information, the procedure I saw was a triple bypass with ESVH (endoscopic vein harvesting). Initially I just watched the endoscopic part because it was easier to stay out of the way. To the untrained eye, it basically looked like he was just mashing about in there, clamping random bits of the body while pushing aside layers of fat and whatever else we keep in our legs. The camera quality was quite high, and the doctor did a good job of keeping it clean when he saw any haemorrhages due to his work. Oh, and there is something creepy about seeing light under a person’s skin (for the camera). The most unsettling part was when he pulled the vein out with his fingers from the most proximal incision. It was just a weird site. Following that he sewed up any remaining lacerations to the vein, so it would work for the procedure. Bottom line – endoscope work is amazingly advanced, but it looks like you just blast through layers of whatever.
Heart part: Let me start by saying bone saws are awesome. They also had some sort of cauterizing iron that arced a spark to stop bleeding and instantly scar tissue to keep it from bleeding. Oh, and those vice clamps they use to keep the cavity open? Straight out of Saw. This part of the procedure was immensely complex, and was difficult to see at some points because it was three surgeons working on a hole a bit larger than a deck of cards. They had to arrest the heart and run it through the machine, which they helped slow down quite literally with ice slush. The bypass is quite brilliant, it essentially is placing an artery into a new passage and then closing it shut like a drawstring bag. Suction was also a major part as the pericardial cavity often had started to fill thanks to the proximity and nature of the procedure. Oh and seeing arterial blood is weird, it’s like... Candy red.
Defining moment: When I scrubbed in and poked around inside that guy. After the grafts were in place and VS were stable, I got the experience of my life. Holy shit, there is nothing like holding a man’s beating heart in your hand. The surgeon also placed my hand on the aorta – if only it were always that easy to feel a pulse. Thoughts of Mortal Kombat ran through my mind to close my hand around his heart and scream ‘fatality’ but of course that was in jest. In closing, if you can ever see a surgery, go on and do it.
Tl;dr – I held a heart and i liked it.

Zhukov Feb 3rd, 2011 09:26 AM

:lol You arsehole

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mario
Defining moment: When I scrubbed in...

I got up to that stage thinking that you were having the surgery done on you. I wouldn't have wished you quite as much well wishes if I had known you were just going to BE THERE. :lol

"Holy shit, this guy is watching the doctor take HIS OWN veins out of his body, and he's not even fussed."

I can't stop laughing. Nice story though.

MarioRPG Feb 3rd, 2011 09:51 AM

Hahaha, yeah I sort of got that impression from the post. Should have made that a little more clear earlier on haha

Fathom Zero Feb 3rd, 2011 11:36 AM

I was wondering why so many people were wishing you well. :lol

We're not that nice.

Kitsa Feb 3rd, 2011 11:47 AM

I used to do the call schedule for the hospital where I worked, and I remember doctors calling me FROM THE MIDDLE OF SURGERIES LIKE THAT to yell at me for messing up the vacation plans they never told me about. I was always imagining some poor guy open on the table for a CABG and thinking, wtf are you yelling at me for when you have someone open on an operating table?!?

Kitsa Feb 3rd, 2011 12:07 PM

Second time Queensland has been fucked over in a very short amount of time, right?

Our whole area has been brought to a standstill. Outside, it's like walking on a frozen lake...everything is covered in thick layers of snow and ice. The whole city was shut down yesterday and anyone on the streets other than emergency personnel got ticketed. I don't know what it's going to be like today.

Lake Shore Drive in Chicago had a string of 1,000 cars stranded and abandoned during the worst of it. That's one of the most popular routes in the city, literally steps from downtown. Crazy.

Colonel Flagg Feb 3rd, 2011 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarioRPG (Post 711895)
Let me start by saying bone saws are awesome.

Did anyone else think of Bone Saw McGraw?



'cause he's awesome too. :)

Tadao Feb 3rd, 2011 01:19 PM

:lol I totally thought you were going in to have your heart worked on. I realized at "Initially I just watched the" that you must be training to be a nurse. THAT'S RIGHT I CALLED YOU A GIRLY MAN.

Tadao Feb 3rd, 2011 03:17 PM


Fathom Zero Feb 3rd, 2011 03:49 PM

harry naval

Pub Lover Feb 3rd, 2011 06:46 PM


Pub Lover Feb 3rd, 2011 06:47 PM

Fucking magnets, eh? :eek

Pub Lover Feb 3rd, 2011 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 711935)
[Dylan's sexy nipples]

Thank you, T. :eek :wank :yum

Fathom Zero Feb 3rd, 2011 07:59 PM

o'reilly is a total loon

MarioRPG Feb 3rd, 2011 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 711913)
Did anyone else think of Bone Saw McGraw?

I'm not 100% but I think he was there too.

Fathom Zero Feb 4th, 2011 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wikipedia
Peter Jackman became England's best-known gurner, winning the world championship four times, beginning in 1998 with a face called the "Bela Lugosi." He had his teeth removed in 2000 to make his features easier to manoeuvre. Three years later, he died playing golf in Spain when a cliff face collapsed underneath him. 'Rubber Faced' Grant Owens then took the vacant crown by performing the unprecedented, and rarely seen, treble gurn. Owens states the reason for this is his extra large bottom lip which he used to be able to nestle polos in when he was a child.

:O

Dr. Boogie Feb 4th, 2011 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 711945)

No love for Phobos or Deimos.

Playing Doom has made me more knowledgeable of our solar system than Bill O'Reilly.

Pub Lover Feb 5th, 2011 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 711988)
I was getting a blowjob from two girls from Battlestar Galactica :| :| :picklehat

A pair of Eights? :eek

Pub Lover Feb 5th, 2011 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 712020)
Thirdly, PUB:
Every time in the past three years that I have been in a position to have someone filming me doing a Bo Duke-style hood slide, and REMEMBERED AT THE TIME, I have not cared enough to do so. It is unlikely that this will change in the future.
:(

It is cute that you think of me. :eek

Pub Lover Feb 5th, 2011 05:13 PM

Now show me your dick! :eek

Pub Lover Feb 5th, 2011 05:14 PM

:pagebrak

Fathom Zero Feb 5th, 2011 05:50 PM

howsit going, pub?

Esuohlim Feb 5th, 2011 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 712040)
A pair of Eights? :eek

A Six and an Eight :eek

I also shot Colonel Tigh in the head. But then he came back >:

Esuohlim Feb 6th, 2011 01:03 AM


Fathom Zero Feb 6th, 2011 01:40 AM

I had a derealization attack today.

Zhukov Feb 6th, 2011 01:52 AM

You have to change your avatar.

Esuohlim Feb 6th, 2011 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 712060)
I had a derealization attack today.

The internet is pretty much telling me that a derealization attack gives you the same symptoms as standing up too fast

Fathom Zero Feb 6th, 2011 02:08 AM

It's like that, but it's existential, too, not just sensory like vertigo or something. It's a sort of anxiety attack, or a lot like jamais vu.

The closest approximation of it is to imagine seeing yourself in the third person or the world shifting like in Jaws when Brody's sitting on the beach.



EDIT: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derealization

I don't like that Linden website's definition. :\

Fathom Zero Feb 6th, 2011 02:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 712063)
You have to change your avatar.

I'm never changing it now.

Grislygus Feb 6th, 2011 03:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 712055)

Is that a wiry chick or an effeminate dude. I mean, I don't care; I'll fuck it, but it'd be nice to know beforehand.

Grislygus Feb 6th, 2011 03:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 712042)
Now show me your dick! :eek

I ALREADY POSTED A PICTURE OF MY BURLY POPEYE FOREARMS FOR YOU DURING THE CENSUS, LESS IS MORE YOU GREEDY MAN

Pub Lover Feb 6th, 2011 03:23 AM


Fathom Zero Feb 6th, 2011 03:26 AM

lol

Grislygus Feb 6th, 2011 03:28 AM

Pub's going to have wet dreams of being teabagged while titfucking your face now

kahljorn Feb 6th, 2011 09:16 PM

tits and a dream can't fix that mess

Kitsa Feb 6th, 2011 09:19 PM

Holy shit am I tired.

LordSappington Feb 7th, 2011 12:51 AM

I glued my fingers together with fake nail glue. That was my day.

Fathom Zero Feb 7th, 2011 12:54 AM

I want a TR 808

Tadao Feb 7th, 2011 01:25 AM

I watched Puppy Bowl VII

Fathom Zero Feb 7th, 2011 01:38 AM

:D

Big McLargehuge Feb 7th, 2011 01:44 PM

Everything is right in the world as long as i-mockery.net is still the same!

Tadao Feb 7th, 2011 01:55 PM

HEY BIGGY!

Big McLargehuge Feb 7th, 2011 02:45 PM

YES?

Esuohlim Feb 7th, 2011 02:53 PM


Big McLargehuge Feb 7th, 2011 03:24 PM

Thank you milhouse backwards. I'll let you decide what i do today, fyi we do have an abandoned meat factory in tucson.

Big McLargehuge Feb 7th, 2011 03:46 PM

And i have to be done by 6 to meet up with my Mutants and Masterminds group for an epic final fight.

Pub Lover Feb 7th, 2011 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 711546)

..

Tadao Feb 7th, 2011 11:20 PM

:yum

LordSappington Feb 8th, 2011 01:23 AM

Sorry to keep posting this, but Jesus Christ, it's been about three or four weeks straight of constant vertigo. Going to an ENT Wednesday; maybe he'll shed some light.

Esuohlim Feb 8th, 2011 01:29 AM

Hey LordSappington I think elx has a crush on you ;) ;)

I AM PLAYING CUPID, WHO'S NEXT?

Esuohlim Feb 8th, 2011 01:30 AM

Just kidding nobody likes any of you losers

Fathom Zero Feb 8th, 2011 01:42 AM

guys i'm totally drunk and watching videos of ronald reagan on youtube and man he can talk like no one's bizzness

Esuohlim Feb 8th, 2011 01:52 AM

Fathom didn't you know that it's against the law to compliment any republican, superficial attributes or otherwise, on any part of the internet that hasn't been properly sanctioned for that kind of behavior?

I once said that George W. Bush had on a nice tie and I was consequently bludgeoned with abuse and threats!

Republicans are faggots. Democrats are faggots. Libertarians are the faggiest faggots.

:politics

elx Feb 8th, 2011 04:21 AM

jesus bananas there's something awesome I want to post but I can't because my internet is being jewish >:

Tadao Feb 8th, 2011 04:25 AM

Pics of your supple 18yo body?

elx Feb 8th, 2011 05:35 AM

yeahhh i'll take off my shirt when a few dozen of you do

Zhukov Feb 8th, 2011 08:24 AM

Ok, I'm down for that. Just need a few more volunteers.

Kitsa Feb 8th, 2011 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 712199)
jesus bananas there's something awesome I want to post but I can't because my internet is being jewish >:


I really need to sprinkle my conversation with more "goyim" adjectives.

Tadao Feb 8th, 2011 01:05 PM

I was thinking about putting elx's face on Fathom's nekid body, but then the thought police started questioning me about child pornography. I'd hate to see what would happen to someone at work.

The Leader Feb 8th, 2011 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 712206)
Ok, I'm down for that. Just need a few more volunteers.

Let me get my camera.

Fathom Zero Feb 8th, 2011 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 712184)
Fathom didn't you know that it's against the law to compliment any republican, superficial attributes or otherwise, on any part of the internet that hasn't been properly sanctioned for that kind of behavior?

I once said that George W. Bush had on a nice tie and I was consequently bludgeoned with abuse and threats!

Republicans are faggots. Democrats are faggots. Libertarians are the faggiest faggots.

:politics



faggiest collection of faggots

Pub Lover Feb 8th, 2011 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 712202)
yeahhh i'll take off my shirt when a few dozen of you do

T, D & I have done this already. I'd repost but I'd likely get my nipples pasted over my eyes. :eek

Pub Lover Feb 8th, 2011 09:14 PM

Plus I still have pics of my dick up for grabs for anyone that wants to join the three chaps here that have already had the pleasure. PM me. :eek

Pub Lover Feb 8th, 2011 09:14 PM

Send your address if you want me to gift you the needed magnifying glass. :eek

Tadao Feb 8th, 2011 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 712243)
T, D & I have done this already. I'd repost but I'd likely get my nipples pasted over my eyes. :eek

I was gonna say the exact same thing. I started looking for the pics but I got called away for something. I think E recently showed his nips too. :eek

Tadao Feb 8th, 2011 10:11 PM


elx Feb 8th, 2011 10:15 PM

i was kidding, there's no way i'd encroach upon FZ's territory in this thread :(

elx Feb 8th, 2011 10:24 PM

nobody here should lose their virtuous modesty like he so easily abandoned

Colonel Flagg Feb 8th, 2011 11:19 PM

There's a bat in my house, and I can't capture it to put it outside. Damned thing is hiding in the rafters. Asian custom indicates this is a sign of good luck - I say Phooey.

Tadao Feb 8th, 2011 11:30 PM

Have you tried not taking acid?

elx Feb 8th, 2011 11:43 PM


this is what it will look like after it devours your family

Fathom Zero Feb 8th, 2011 11:46 PM

he looks like he has a mouth full of peanuts

Pub Lover Feb 9th, 2011 12:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 712248)

There we go. :picklehat

Pub Lover Feb 9th, 2011 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 712249)
i was kidding, there's no way i'd encroach upon FZ's territory in this thread :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 712250)
nobody here should lose their virtuous modesty like he so easily abandoned

Adorable. :love

Pub Lover Feb 9th, 2011 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 712256)
he looks like he has a mouth full of peanuts

Bananana? :eek

Tadao Feb 9th, 2011 12:26 AM


Pub Lover Feb 9th, 2011 12:35 AM

Perhaps.

Grislygus Feb 9th, 2011 02:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 712259)
Bananana? :eek

That was the first word I ever said. I don't know why I remembered being told that


Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 712254)
Have you tried not taking acid?

What the hell kind of game plan is THAT

Grislygus Feb 9th, 2011 02:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 712269)
That was the first word I ever said. I don't know why I remembered being told that

Now imagine this creepy, grinning, bugeyed little moonface on an adorable toddler repeating "bananana" over and over

SEE YOU IN YOUR NIGHTMARES :alicecooper

Tadao Feb 9th, 2011 02:48 AM

pedophiles wet dream

LordSappington Feb 9th, 2011 06:07 PM

Went to the ENT; for now, I'm trying some steroids and mainstream Valium.
I start off with 60 mg of Prednisone today and tomorrow, 50mg the next two days, and so on. This is what doctors refer to as the Metric Fuckton of Steroids Therapy.

Babs Feb 9th, 2011 06:52 PM

Last time I went to the ENT, this was the outcome.


LordSappington Feb 9th, 2011 08:17 PM

I'm wondering if they'll have to cut my skull open and cut out my balance nerve, like my mom did. :\

Grislygus Feb 9th, 2011 10:18 PM

THANKS FOR THE GENES, MA

Grislygus Feb 9th, 2011 10:27 PM

now what you need to do is make sure you drink plenty of alcohol, and pm Pub Lover a pic of you lying helplessly in a hospital bed, complete with bottomless gown.

Dimnos Feb 9th, 2011 11:41 PM

Just dont forget the dick pics too. ;)

Zhukov Feb 10th, 2011 07:39 AM

Most nights it's just me and eustaceki by ourselves. Can you unban it so I wont feel as alone?

Also, if it's banned, how come it's still hanging around? If it's not banned, how come it's not banned?

MLE Feb 10th, 2011 08:57 AM

it's just a spambot. it comes on here so google will see it when the google bot shows up randomly. :themoreyouknow

Colonel Flagg Feb 10th, 2011 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 712254)
Have you tried not taking acid?

No, but last night ... (wait for it) ... it was gone. COINCIDENCE????

LordSappington Feb 10th, 2011 12:36 PM

Taking my diazepam before classes wasn't a great idea.

Tadao Feb 10th, 2011 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 712341)
No, but last night ... (wait for it) ... it was gone. COINCIDENCE????

You should build a bat house outside and collect a few more. Bats are awesome bug eaters.

LordSappington Feb 10th, 2011 01:23 PM

I guess then everyone on his street would call him...
Spoilers!

YEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH

kahljorn Feb 10th, 2011 03:04 PM

i tried to heal you with my traditional chinese medicine powers but you didn't listen and now you're on steroids which are gonna make your dick shrink and your ass get all big :O :O

LordSappington Feb 10th, 2011 03:15 PM

Hey, all the boys are gonna be after my big ass.

Tadao Feb 10th, 2011 03:31 PM

You probably got vertigo from hitting your head doing all that stupid free running bullshit.


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