:pagebrak

i went into tennessee for the first time in my life today. if i had to live in pigeon forge, i would drink a liter of cyanide.

So my uncle is on a volunteer fire department and got this call.

Couple was having sex in someone's backyard treehouse. Woman falls out of treehouse, gets lodged in tree, serious injuries apparently.

Guy gets dressed and flees the scene, leaves her there naked in the tree.

What a dick. :lol

right in the crotch of the tree huh?

:HYUK

I wonder what kind of injuries she had, and where.

I can't believe the guy was all "fuck this!" and left.

Whatta you wanna bet the guy was a minor and she told his ass to get the fuck out of here.

Going to bet 20 quid at least.

Someone involved was 27 but I can't remember if it was her or him.

Maybe she was the minor so he left the bitch hangin'.

I'll be 9000 days old in 2 weeks and need to find some way to celebrate.

You never take our advice.

I bought a new box of crayons just for the smell :(

Not the taste?

It hasn't gone there yet, but I'm not ruling out the possibility.

There was a boy in my kindergarten who ate blue crayons and charged other kids to watch him pee green. I never took him up on it but the kids who saw it were impressed.

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE BAN DURRSOMETHING AGAIN?

He might have to be burned to get the job done.

Burton and Depp should have thier own movie company name.

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/need...onderland.html

Like Burpp or something.

http://elbo.ws/post/1813773/the-orbs...the-age-of-44/

:tear

Finland is actually pretty nimble.

He's huntin for Lasagna

so j had a rough day at work today. he was abnormally down. his wife says "will a blowjob make you feel better?"

why can i never meet a woman like this?

BECAUSE I HATE YOU

fuck! please stop hating me, then!

NOT IN YOUR LIFETIME BUB

D:

My wife just sent me a txt message

"Will you massage my boobs when you get home. They hurt."

:lol

:lol

she must have magical boobs.

As in they do tricks?

as in the average woman with sore boobs would not want anyone rubbing them. It's like jabbing a bruise.

Either way I dont care. Its not every day you receive a formal invitation to play with boobs.

:posh

:boob:boob

:boob:posh:boob

:boob:yum:boob

:lol

I went miniature golfing and one of the obstacles is a pony all on it's hind legs with it's package out.




someone broke the cock off it

The Catholic church. :tear

Someone was like "how dare this horse have a cock where my children conduct miniature business" *SNAP*

"How dare that pony penis be bigger than mine, the girl I took here commented on how small and cute the pony cock is >: "

I ate too much and now I feel all gross :(

I got the new Dinosaur Jr. album with bonus cd last night. I'm afraid to listen to it because I don't want to hate it.

Hey Sam, I have another Ween for you.

ween - all request live

Fine fag, eat shit and die then.

The Frankie Valley Story, Day 3:
i fucking hate the french hip-hop version of "oh what a night" much more than i hate the original version

How dare you hat the french "anything"

Late December back in 63? I love that song. can anyone really ruin it?

yes they can

HOW TERRIBLE OF THEM

You want to hear a shitty French song, try "Dur Dur d'être Bébé"

:puke

I was proactive today!

A neighbor was having a garage sale and I was getting pissed at all the people parking in my driveway and walking across my yard. I mean, what the fuck?

So I took my dog out and let her shit all over the front yard instead of the backyard.

People are still parking in my driveway and walking through my yard, but it's way more entertaining now.

Just back your car up so they cant.

Or better yet. Make a sign that says "Unauthorized vehicles with be spray painted"

lol, I don't drive, household car is gone for the day.

I dunno, I'm pretty happy with my dogshit solution.

Just sit in the driveway on a lawn chair in a wifebeater then. That'll learn 'em.

Put a 5 dollar parking sign up.

That was my next idea. Might as well make some cash. :lol

Has anyone hit some droppings yet?

I was proactive today, as well. I mowed my lawn!

Oh, yes, there have been several sucessful hits. That's why I'm so happy with the solution.

I also heard "I hate people who won't pick up their dog's crap", which was simply delightful.

:lol nice

Michael Jackson died?!?

Where have you been?

Boys of my age are still way more sad about Farrah's death.

did you guys hear michale jordan died

Rumors abound that Jeff Goldblum died earlier this morning in New Zealand. What say you Pub?

He's supposed to be on Law and Order now.

True. I'm sure the episodes the play on Sundays haven't been pre recorded at all.

That story was generated from a hoax site. You can put in any person's name and it generates a fake story. Goldblum is fine. He was just on The Colbert Report in NYC joking about Obama killing "The Fly" :P

I only trust my gossip news from Pub.

did you guys know that chuck norris is like 69 years old?

i thought he was like 40

did chuck norris die too

I'm kinda glad Jackson took the media bullet for Farrah.

they clearly got the causes of death mixed up- butt cancer is a much funnier thing for m. jackson to have died from

THAT'S BECAUSE HE USES THE TOTAL GYM

I was just surprised, is all. It wasn't an "elbow everyone aside to bring the news to a forum" thing.

When I was a kid, Michael Jackson was the shit. I had a pair of red high-top leather reeboks because he wore them in a video once. I got Michael Jackson trading cards and puffy stickers at the mall. Kids used to wear one glove to school, and when his hair caught on fire I was actually distraught enough to write in my little kiddie diary about it.

It's just really, really strange, that's all.

Oh man, I wanna read that kiddie diary page.

DAM YOU PEPSI!

I could spell.

It was the same night as the premiere of the miniseries V, because I was horrified that Diana ate a guinea pig.

I wonder if Dusk is from the GBfans forums.

I'm already tired of hearing about Michael Jackson, so I'm glad it'll take weeks before the media stops talking about him.

And Farrah Fawcett too I guess idk

Our AC went out yesterday during a heat wave. It's one of those things you don't really appreciate until it's 95-100F in the house and smells like Calcutta.

Mine went out Sunday. Had to have an entire new unit installed. Ran me about 4 grand. >:

:(

That's one of the only reasons I'm glad I'm in a rental right now.

Check this out, BJs for snack foods:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive...091chips1.html

OOPS MY FACE SI AN EXPLODE have the best array of M3 real cards, R4 ds cards, R4 dsi cards and the NEW Acekards 2 downloads we hope you take pleasure in using this site whilst getting only the best for your DS!

JERK FROM HELL have the hottest selection of R4 DS cards, R4 DSi cards, M3 real cards, and the NEW Acekard 2 downloads. We hope you benefit greatly from using this site whilst getting truly the easiest media enhancers you could ever imagine having for your DS console!

Shut up, Spambot.

We want to know more about snack/BJ exchanges.

Nintendo R4

Juego Nintendo R4

I wonder if she has greasy hands and lips from those chips.

What do the ladies give out for head? That is what I want to know.

You would think they could have just said they were on a date. He bought her dinner and she was just giving him dessert. ;)

HEY SHRUBFEST I GOT A BOX OF CHIPS FOR YOU. ;)

OR MAYBE YOU GOT A BOX OF CHIPS FOR ME. ;)

OR MAYBE WE JUST SKIP THE BOX OF CHIPS. ;)

I COULD SKIP THE CHIPS AND GO STRAIGHT FOR THE BOX. ;)