I-Mockery Forum - THE BEST JOKE EVER!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ziggytrix

*whew* I thought this thread was gonna be about the Aristocrats. :)

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

With that the son sparks up a cigar and shoves it up his mum's vagina. He then sticks his dick inside his mum and burns the tip of it on the cigar.

Undeterred, he whips his cock out and slaps his dad around the face with it knocking him to the floor. The mum jumps on top of the dad's face and shits all over it. The daughter goes to the other end and sucks the dad's cock until he comes all over her back.

The dog, not wanting to be left out, climbs on top of the daughter's back and slides down the trail of cum until he gets his head wedged inside the son's arsehole, who is waiting bent over behind his sister.

The dad starts fucking the dog whilst it's head is still up the son's arsehole. The mum bends down and starts sucking the son's cock whilst the dog is still up his arse being fucked by the dad. The daughter shits on the mum's face at the same time the son cums on her face. The mum is sick into a bucket in the middle of the room.

The dog slips out of the son's arsehole and falls into the giant bucket of shit, cum, and vomit.

The dad scoops up a handful out of the bucket and throws it at his daughter's face. Her eyes burn with pain. Whilst blinded she is bent over by her dad and fucked up the arse by him. Whilst fucking his daughter the dad shits all over the mum's face.

The mum smears the shit on the son's cock using it as a lubricant to suck him off. The son cums in the mum's mouth who then throws up a cocktail of vomit, shit, and cum over the dog who is already lying in the bucket of vomit, shit, and cum.

The dad whips his cock out of the daughter's arse and cums over the dog in the bucket of vomit, shit, and cum.

The mum licks the daughter's fanny, who punches the son in the face. The son gouges the daughter's eyeball out in retaliation and starts fucking the eye socket. The dad pulls the son off of the daughter and shits in his mouth. The dad bends his son over and fucks him from behind whilst holding the son's mouth shut so he can't spit out the shit.

The son then vomits the shit in his mouth over the dog and into the bucket. The dad, mum, and daughter all squat over the dog, they shit and piss over it into the bucket.

The dad picks up the bucket and announces he will recreate the Boxing Day tsunami by throwing the contents of the bucket across the room. The dog flies out on a wave of shit, piss, cum, and vomit, and smashes into the wall. The dog starts to drown in the fluid.

The son slides across the floor to save the dog, in celebration he fists his mum, retrieves his cigar and takes a long well earned drag.

The whole family stand in a line and take a bow.

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And the father says, "The 'BEST JOKE EVER!' thread!"