The President of Nigeria is Missing!
 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010...sident-missing




"The president is missing. The executive chair is empty, the in-tray overflowing, and 150 million people are crying out for leadership.
This is the crisis enveloping Nigeria, political rivals and activists say, as rumours swirl around the health of President Umaru Musa Yar'Adua, not seen in public for 45 days."


Not to worry, the VP's name is GOODLUCK JONATHAN. How can you go wrong with that?

I can't imagine how that would be possible

He probably fell down a well or something.

the VP looks a little sinister.



Kind of like someone cast Wesley Snipes in a Clockwork Orange remake.

OH DAM! That dude is a roughneck!

That's a good comparison. I thought Arsinio Hall when I looked at him, but Wesley Snipes in a CO remake works better

Arsenio would've been good for the glasses, but the guy's too lighthearted and innocuous. Wesley's got that edge.

That's the best photo they could get of him?

I like his facial expression, though. It is clearly informing the cameraman that if the camera isn't put away in three seconds, a presidential foot will be lodged so far up his ass that his teeth will be kicked out

The president or the VP? Because I could see that applying to either one.

Edit: I'm still seeing Snipes. Possibly with some clothing advice from Bernie Mac (RIP :( )

From the 2 pictures, I can't decide which one scares me the most. The VP looks like he will kill you before you blink, but the Pres looks like he would try to keep you alive for maximum torture.

I know someone from Nigeria and from the stories she's told me, that place is fucked up. Hardcore.

Especially in District 9! :eek

I bet he's involved in some funding scam too.

Remember when Lake Victoria stopped producing hydroelectric power because the THOUSANDS of bodies Idi Amin dumped in there were clogging the generators?

Yeah, I'm just picturing this being something like that.

Edit: Holy shit, I found erotic Idi Amin fanfic.

http://www.fivechapters.com/2009/my-life-with-idi-amin/

I wonder if he raps.

Not sure, but it's nice to know he's got his own version of Mein Kampf ready to go.

HOLY SHIT

Perhaps Mr Goodluck ate the presidents brain in order to gain his spirit power.

WESTSIDE

My friend used to tell me about just seeing lynchings in bus stations. Apparently it's not uncommon for people to just swarm pickpockets and kill them on the spot. She said usually what happens is they put a tire over them to pin their arms to their sides, then beat them and set them on fire. And that's just, like, business as usual there.

That was one of many colorful stories she told me about Nigeria.

Are you a bad enough Dude to rescue the President?

they stuck pine cones up my anus and called me sweet cheeks. Those were hard times.

I'm pretty sure my rich Nigerian family knows where he is. I'll ask them next time they email about my inheritance.

he probably is on vacations in a cool beach somewhere in the world

This reminded me of the Onion. Go figure. 10 years old, but still relevant.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34159