I just cleaned up a bunch of cat shit, I don't want anymore jobs.

Fuck you kid, you'll watch Michael Fassbinder and Seth Roagun on the bigscreen and you'll like it!

..

..

:lol
Losers.

NOBODY CAME TO MY GODDAMN PARTY.

..

rip

I miss (some of) you kids.

..

i have anxiety :(

I got married two months ago :(

..

YOU THOUGHT MILHAUSE WAS SINGLE?

He stole Sarah Horseface Parker from Bueller.

I think I saw Sam's d*ck on here once or something. Anyone else remember that?

Man, no Secret Santa? I'm outta here! lol

What a strange fan base.

They don't hang around for 11 months out of the year but "crawl out of the woodwork" for the chance to get candy and trinkets and to post WACKY STORIEZ LOL
Maybe it's because I'm a bitter asshole, but that sh*t s*unds f*cked up to me, yo

You guise, play Undertale :o That was fun.

No hiding Santa or whatever makes me sad :(

:eek

:pagebrak

We all do. :lol

Congrats. Is he a looker? :rolleyes

I spent way too much money on Earthbound today.

:lol RoG, I think watching you watch He Man, well it's probably the most relaxed I've ever seen you. I think it looks good on you.

"Hey Where The Candy and Trinkets at?"
 

YoYoYo, I'm back and straight out of Woodworkz to ask "Where The Candy and Trinkets at?" </JOKE>

But really, I've been checking the Forum Events page since November 1st with growing worry, completely missing that people have been posting here. (I'm just so good at internet forums you guys)

Now how can I
------Don't read if you are RoG, it's a secret!

Other than that, How's life everyone?

I've had some good poops recently.

Fuck guys, nobody's up late on here anymore :(

OR ON EVER :(:(:(

I have a really fucking bad case of procrastination.
It's so bad that the only way I can motivate myself to finish something is if I have drink (or several) first.
Which brings me to what I've been drinking lately:
Kraken + diet coke= decent enough. If Grislygus was here he'd be ripping me a new asshole right now, I remember him being something of a liquor snob.
Homemade pine nut vodka + cranberry juice + one of those powdered drink mix packets= Life in Mother Russia has taught my grandparents some hard lessons, but this is one of those things that you're obligated to pass on to your descendants. Hell, if I had the resources and time, I'd be bottling Captain516's secret family recipe kedrovaya. Of course I'm too much of a faggot to drink it straight, hence the other stuff to act as a buffer.
Hoegaarden White Ale= the beer with a funny name and a great taste.

UPDATE: Pernod tastes like ass and poo (and licorice, same difference amirite), if you can drink this without gagging you are a better man than I.

Happy new year, you fucking fucks. :dunce

Woah, I guess I do have some of the emoticons here memorized. :eek

I procrastinated my teens and twenties. I am now working on my thirties. :rock
I am only here because I am drunk. I was only ever here drunk. I guess I have been sober for a while? Whoops, fell off the wagon Better call my sponsor. :hypno
A lot of the losers here were booze snobs. I was one of them. HEY PAST ME, I AM DRINKING MOSCOW MULES BECAUSE I AM A LITTLE BITCH! :lol

Hit me up sugarlips.;) :orgasm :thatsuckingdickemoticonwehad

:blowme

Another year older. :|

Fuck guys. Happy New Year

whatever

jerk

I don't crawl out of the woodwork! I come in and out of depressive hazes.

I refuse to believe it's a new year until I hear it from my commanding officer. Also don't looke Hess in the eye, he has a screw loose.

I got a new job this week. I make circuit boards now.

NOBODY IS GONNA SEE THIS :(

I saw it. Congrats :picklehat

When you say you make circuit boards, do you mean you work the soldering tables with the wage slaves or that you design them? or what? Hope you get paid well, when I was in electronics all I got offered in the 90s was the soldering table.

lol No, I just make them, I don't design anything hahaha

Hahahahaha, I'm a slave

:(

I'm married now. She's really fucking awesome and very beautiful so I did indeed get very lucky. I'm still in the pharmacy and I'm constantly soldering and doing little things to fight depression from this place being a graveyard now adays.

I married my long-time lady recently. She's been short-hairin' for two years or so, so I'm finally living my oft-advertised dream of getting my fuck on with a woman who looks like a prepubescent medieval page boy and things are just swell in my life right now.

This place was useful for what it was when I needed it in my life. It seems almost fitting that it started dying when my interest waned. But it also saddens me greatly that I was much funnier at 15 than I am now at 28. :(

Our little milhouse is all growed up ;o

I was never a big part of the community on here but I still like to re-read the threads every once in a while because the internet is all about frog pictures and negro twitters and basically sucks now. I find myself perpetually annoyed at kids and their newfangled music. Is this what being old feels like?

It's astounding how it all turns out. I ended up marrying a badass woman who for reasons I'll never know loves guns, look's a mystic elf, and loves not dragging to me shitty places all the time and make my life a living hell, infact it's a hobby of hers. It's surprising what life will offer you when you actually make an effort and give a shit.

I am also in the short haired cute girls club, BUT WE ARE NOT MARRIED YET, I TELL YA.

I wish there was a way to get a reunion type deal on here. It's cool that some people see one another on reddit and shit from here. I think I saw Seven Force on a gamefaqs thread from like 5 years ago, but it could have been another guy.

MAYBE AN I-MOCKERY SUBREDDIT. I'd do it but I don't know how2reddit

IT SEEMS LIKE THE GODDAMNS HAVE DRIED THE FUCK UP HERE

This whole place has dried up. Like a turd in the sun. For a long time it sat in the rain kept moist and smelly. But the storms broken and now it looks like a bit of chalk beneath the sun.

This place is sooooo in this year. 2016 is totally happening. I-mock meetup? I'm already there!

:pagebrak

I found an old video of Willie eating his beard.

Fuck you, Babs! >:

I am back here because I just got an email from Mindsay saying they are relaunching their site. :lol

Remember when we all had Mindsay blogs? :eek

:suicide

This was posted like 2 months ago and I had no idea. What the fuck.

How could you miss it? It is all he has been talking about since halloween. :eek

:lol :lol

:(

Yep.

George just got married, thought you jerks should know.

My friend's kid said "dada" the other day.

FUCK GUYS.

That is surprising, who knew you would have a friend?

Well, he doesn't know we're friends.

zeldasbiggestprolapsedanus

George is dead to me until he finishes his story.

:sadclownface

Aaaaand, I got laid off today.

:pagebrak

zeldasmostunemployedfan

Welp, back to cutting grass I go.

You got Trumped lol

Can't stump the Trump.

Drumpf.

Hey guys.

Cutting grass sucks.

And we witness the 3rd rebirth of ZBF!

Zibif is going to MAKE LAWNS GREAT AGAIN.

Donald C. Trump for President!

GOOD MORNING, J*RKS >:

lol look at this Trump supporter

You rang?

Man..... this is sad seeing this...

It's sadder seeing you post.

RoG, ssince there is no forum for Screen Junkies, you should make a section here. bwahahahahahahaha

:ibapery

RIP Misdemonar

stranger things?

So I was at the Jazz Bar sipping on a locally brewed Wheat IPA, and a woman sat down at my table with her friend.

The place was filling up and there were not many places left to sit. I indicated to her that no one was using those chairs, so it was fine. I imagine I used those noise things from my mouth that we call words to do this. I can't be sure.

She was too pretty.

There is no medication or therapy in the world that will get me used to the idea that I am allowed in the same room as a woman that is too pretty.

I noticed that she was acting awkwardly. Fuck. Years of self-doubt returned and I spent the next half hour staring into my drink or getting odd returned looks from the band and bar staff.

Finally the too pretty woman and her friend left the bar. I sighed into my beer and my brother leaned in and whispered to me an apology:

"Hey. Sorry that was so awkward. She asked me out earlier this year but I freaked out because she is too pretty. Then I immediately started dating my ex the next day. I guess she isn't over it?"

And that is why I murdered my brother, your honour.



Thinking of you all here at I Mockery Dot Com.
- Pubbles.

does this dump not even come back online for halloween?

lol Forum isn't even on the main link banner anymore :(

Try again in december. Free gifts bro!

EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP! The King...... is back

:lol

pack it in, fellas

guys i'm having a child in january :(