:pagebrak:

I think the reason I barely ever post here anymore is that twitter pretty much covers all the bases I-Mockery used to.

I make a statement on a pointless subject, and then people either don't read it or question my heterosexuality in spite of whether or not that has anything to do with the issue.

Also, this website contains a crippling lack of JoMo shenanigans.

In an unrelated matter, I taught my cat to drink tea.

faggot

GW do you wear a beret and hang out at coffeehouses now

actually I did picture him smoking gauloises.

I picture him smoking penis

What? You have a pet spider?

Is it your pet or are you it's host?

Hell no, I'm not made of money

Even if I was I could probably think of better things to do than hang out at cafes and listen to hipsters talk about their horrible post-rock

I still smoke spirit blacks, for real men

;)

My pet. She's a chilean rosehair tarantula, and she's about eight years old.

That's horrible. You should post pictures so I can know just how horrible.

MLE: Do you feed her crickets?

Yep. She won't touch anything else.

I used to have to breed crickets, when I was raising so many reptiles and tree frogs. Even though I got the cleanest kind (top hat) and took immaculate care of the trash cans where they bred, it stunk to high heaven. I'm down to one leopard gecko and I still hate the chore of crickets.

I love leopard geckos. My best friend bred them for years. She only has one now.

Mine's going on 17 years old or thereabouts.

There is nothing special about the pile of leaves.

>kick leaves

Kicking the pile of leaves isn't notably helpful.'

>: fucking game sucks

Kings quest?

>playfully romp in leaves

zork

issit cool that i'm in the aclu?

I just vaccumed up a yellow sac spider (bad) the same approximate size as a wolf spider (ugly but harmless).

Fuckers must be breeding in the walls to create some sort of superspider. :(

Spiders are the main reason I hate this time of year. If they want to stay outside, that's fine, but don't bring all your venom and necrosis shit into the house.

it's cooler if you're eaten by a grue.

/Seuss

I've taken to scooping spiders up in paper towels and crushing them as hard as I can squeeze. Everyone thinks I'm sadistic, but fuck them.

I saw a big thick brown one crawling down the wall behind my desk yesterday; I tried to drive him higher so I could smash him, but the little bastard crawled down on the carpet and basically disappeared, he was blending in so well. I've spent most of the time since then in a twitchy paranoia waiting for him to crawl up my pants and murder me, or until I pick up a piece of paper and find him chilling underneath it and scampering away to parts unknown waiting to fuck my shit up some more.

I hate him so much that I'm not going to give him the pleasure of a crushing death if I find him again, I'll just trap him under a glass or something and watch as he struggles to escape and eventually dies slowly of starvation and/or asphyxiation, the little fuck. Or maybe I'd take him outside and set him on fire, that could be fun.

Maybe I am a bit sadistic.

I hope that spider crawls up your dick and lays eggs in your bladder.

Yeah!

Hey, I missed you.

so i bought blotter stuffs

good plan

I pmed it to Mockery. It's a bit north of him but maybe worth it.

To the spider haters in the thread- you do know that you don't have to worry about them, with the exception of black widows (small) and brown recluses (even smaller), right?

I like spiders more than bugs. It's weird. I used to be really afraid of them.

yeah no need to worry guys, so long as it doesn't kill you it doesn't matter if it hurts like holy hell.

also you should play with strange snakes cause as long as it doesn't rattle, have red on yellow, or a white mouth it's not gonna kill you!

and you only have to worry about those brown bears, you know

it's not like people are giving into some cruel unfounded stereotype against spiders, there's obvious reasoning for the hatred. they're obnoxious little bastards that get in your face, crawl all over your shit and regularly bite peoples' defenseless asses. no other insects do that. you can call them cutesey curious and just say that it's not their fault and they're good for gardening and w/e else but don't cry when someone squashes them. it's not like you're any better sending those crickets to their deaths.

The only vicious spider I've ever seen (and the bite is really only about as bad as a wasp) is the wolf spider. I give them pretty wide berth when I see them.

at least we're not in australia with zhukov, where the spiders chase you :(

hahahaha

i like jumping spiders, they're adorable :(

THEY'RE SO VICIOUS! I LOVE THEM! THEY'RE SO TINY AND FULL OF VIM AND VIGOR.

I think somewhere earlier in the thread I said that it was unusual for me to be weird about the size of that one wolf spider because I'm normally very spider-friendly. I relocate if they're compatible with the outside world.

I have a different attitude about Yellow Sac spiders because they are dangerous, particularly because I have a curious infant in the house. Their bites are painful and can cause necrosis. We've had a mini-infestation of Yellow Sac spiders in this area for the past couple of years and I don't want to go looking for trouble. I vacuum them up when I see them, then get rid of the vacuum bag. I don't know whether they survive the vacuuming but I know the bold jumping spiders I've vacuumed do, so I picture this sort of spider fight club going on in there.

Anyway, that sort of cold decision favoring your family's welfare is the sort of thing that happens hormonally when you have a kid.

But there are so many legs!

Tonight!!!!!

Yes they are.

I gave into it many years ago.

Am I supposed to know who the fuck Derek Frohock is? >:

Thank you. :) Right back at you both. ;) :love :orgasm :eek

:pagebrak

He looks like this:



Anyone seen this guy? >:

i just don't know

Those are the two things that came to mind for me too. :eek

You're buddies with him though, SexyBelly. :eek

They do here. Well no, they get paternity leave because we don't let them get pregnant because we are just so mean. :eek

Oh hey. :)

I never get bored at looking at dicks.

so boring it is

Plus it is only a prelude to me putting them in my mouth anyway.

Best view in the house. Hey Pub. :halloweensmileface

Hullo 10k, I saw those halloween emoticons. I don't take part in memes I didn't start though. :eek

I left here for twitter, but I barely post there because I worry people might actually read what I have to say. :x

No worries of that here. :lol

I made that post at 2010-10-10 10:11, which just shows I think about penises for all noteworthy events.

I love you, Pubber

I love you too, TightButt.

Some spiders have venom that is effective against humans but not so much against other animals. Doesn't that tell you something?

wolf spiders are unnerving as hell and, in the case of rabid-wolf spiders, will run right at you without fear, but generally don't pose any threat to humans.

They cause a very painful bite. I think pain is enough grounds to worry about them.

question:


are funny chicks sexy? like do you guys think kristen wiig/tina fey/sarah silverman are hot?

(although i dont really think silverman counts as funny but w/e :( )

ESUOHLIM WILL FIELD THIS QUESTION

THE ANSWER IS YES >: Sense of humor is second only to intelligence. And I rate both of those above physical attractiveness. :gay

And Sarah Silverman is just an annoying cunt.

I'm not a fan of any of those broads. However, Amy Schumer is cute. But cute's not really the best. She's awesome, though. And most people have to be intelligent to be funny, Milhorse.

oh man dinasour egg instant oatmeal is the best but the sizing is cruel :( 1 packet is not enough and 2 packets is way too much :( my dog wont eat the rest either :(

someone should do something about that

I'm still looking to find out who this is.

I'm sure he's one of those guys that has to tell you that he lives on your street.

Saying he is a sex offender doesn't shorten the list on who from here it would be.

I agee with Milhouse in that humour is second only to intelligence, but I don't generally find female stand up comedians sexy or anything. Funny is attractive, but it doesn't turn me on if that makes sense.

Elx, if you are looking to impess some boy then you should certainly try to be funny. If you are trying to be sexy in the bedroom then leave the jokes about your ex-husband out of it.

The best guys love horribly dirty jokes. ;)

Agreed girls who can tell dick and fart jokes are entertaining, but once you cross over to the bedroom actions speak much louder than words, also getting freaky is a major plus

The new guy suggests you be a whore, ELX. :rolleyes

Yeah and that's why intelligence comes first, pay attention

Oh yeah, I forgot to follow it up with the fact that a lot famous comedians make "being funny" their identity, like Sarah Silverman, and fall into the category of annoying. I don't find a lot of funny female celebrities sexy.

But in real life, though, funny girls are awesome. And sarcasm is hot as hell. Girls are often stigmatized as being less funny than guys, but a few of the funniest people I know are girls. And a girl that can make me laugh definitely sticks in my mind.

AND GIVES ME A BONER :WINK
Are you writing this shit down, elx, this is gold.

Exactly what came to my mind. I scrolled down for half a second and you beat me to it.

(Referring to Derek Frohock)

I think it's just some random fan of I-Mock that wanted to say HEY LOOK AT THIS I'M FRIENDS WITH ALL THE VETS. If he was anyone regular on here, he'd have piped up in this thread OR he would have responded when I messaged him back on facebook, asking who he was.

Derek Frohock is my brother.

And Silverman isn't funny, but that bitch has a very fuckable body.

Thank you, MLE. :)

Hey Derek Frohock, you're ignored. :eek

Then why would he want to be friends with me? >:

Yes,yes I did

Yeah, i got one too...?
e: dufresne seems to be on the case.

i was asking because i was watching snl the other night with a friend and i was like, "wow, i never noticed how pretty kristen is!" and he was like "i guess" and i pushed him some more and was like "isnt she like a dream girl??" and he was like "she's more like a bro and you cant fuck a bro" :( and i thought that was dumb so decided to inquire more from others!

Fucking idiot friend.

SHE'S JUST ONE OF THE GUYS, HYUK HYUK HYUK

Derek Frohock

Salem, Massachusetts, 22 years old.
trent_shan@yahoo.com

http://www.salemnews.com/local/x1690087043/Police

http://www.salemnews.com/local/x1271725156/Police-fire

http://www.salemnews.com/local/x1150894767/Police

http://www.wickedlocal.com/cambridge...Week-of-Aug-13

http://www.bpdnews.com/2007/02/page/5/

http://www.cambridgema.gov/cpd/News/...?story_id=2266

http://htmlgear.tripod.com/guest/con...t_6&i=1&a=view

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=485796



10 minutes of internet sleuthing. If DuFresne didn't already figure it out, he's really bad at this.

MLE wins. :) Bloody Womti. >:

MENACE TO SOCIETY!

PLEASE DON'T TURN ME OUT

..