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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

RaNkeri Feb 19th, 2009 01:27 PM

Based on the "..." at the end, I think it might have something to do with the grenade

Tadao Feb 19th, 2009 01:28 PM

It's both funny and depressing at the same time :(

MetalMilitia Feb 19th, 2009 01:29 PM

Like a sad clown :(

RaNkeri Feb 19th, 2009 01:41 PM


Where re-education has failed my comrade, the hangman’s noose will succeed…

MetalMilitia Feb 19th, 2009 01:45 PM

Btw, people on Digg that can apparently read Russian are saying the translations aren't actually translations. I think they're just poking fun at Russia by making them the way they are.

Tadao Feb 19th, 2009 01:54 PM

Yeah, I read the comments on the pics. That makes it even funnier.

RaNkeri Feb 19th, 2009 03:54 PM

Which apples do you prefer? Green or red ones? :eek

Tadao Feb 19th, 2009 03:58 PM

I like Fuji apples

RaNkeri Feb 19th, 2009 04:05 PM

I can't deicde which I prefer more, Golden Delicious or Red Delicious :(

Tadao Feb 19th, 2009 04:07 PM

Fucking Finland! Take a lead from America and enjoy them both in glutinous joy!

Kitsa Feb 19th, 2009 04:27 PM

It would only be glutinous joy if they were in a pie :P

The bf won't shut up about Honeycrisp apples. He appears to believe they're the shit.

I'm all about Winesaps.

executioneer Feb 19th, 2009 04:27 PM

delicious apples aren't delicious >: pink lady or fuji are the best, or maybe elstars

golden russets are good too even if their skins ARE textured like a potato

RaNkeri Feb 19th, 2009 04:32 PM

Granny Smiths are ok too

executioneer Feb 19th, 2009 04:34 PM

in pies maybe :/ although i havent had one in a long time so maybe i'm just being unfairly racist against them

pac-man Feb 19th, 2009 04:35 PM

As opposed to being fairly racist

executioneer Feb 19th, 2009 04:37 PM

yes well if they are genuinely the most sour thing ever then i think it's justified

pac-man Feb 19th, 2009 04:39 PM

I like all apples equally. Except those lazy crab apples. Go back to where you came from crab apples!!!

Kitsa Feb 19th, 2009 04:41 PM

I have two crab apples which were IMPORTED FROM CANADA (that's what the sign at the store said) but I've been afraid to try them. When we had a crabapple tree in our yard my mom told us they were poisonous.

pac-man Feb 19th, 2009 04:46 PM

Never had one myself. I've heard that about them being poisonous but it's not true. They just don't really look all that edible to me.

Kitsa Feb 19th, 2009 04:46 PM

They're soft, not hard like apples. At least these are. They look like overgrown cherries.

pac-man Feb 19th, 2009 04:49 PM

They're prolly sour as all hell.

RaNkeri Feb 19th, 2009 04:57 PM

They're good for making cider though :/

Atleast wikipedia says so

Kitsa Feb 19th, 2009 05:10 PM

My dog has a barking problem.

We had to crate-train her because she was ransacking the house. All of her playtime is heavily supervised. So she gets in her crate and gets bored and she starts barking.

She has a bark collar that's supposed to teach her "unsanctioned barking is a bad idea". It sprays lemon scent whenever she hits a particularly shrill note. It works when it's on, but I hate using it because it seems cruel. Also, when it's off she barks as much as she damn well pleases.

I can't wait till we get a kennel up in the yard that she can play in. She's only a puppy but she's as big as a frigging pony already.

Otto Feb 19th, 2009 05:51 PM

I don't like the taste of apples, but I like to use them to make shrunken apple head dolls.


Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 614892)
My dog has a barking problem.

She has a bark collar that's supposed to teach her "unsanctioned barking is a bad idea". It sprays lemon scent whenever she hits a particularly shrill note. It works when it's on, but I hate using it because it seems cruel.

Don't worry about the anti-bark collar, when my dad was a kid his dad got their beagle de-barked, which I always thought was far crueler than the collars that just shock the dogs or spray them with citrus.

pac-man Feb 19th, 2009 05:52 PM

You got a pic of one, Otto?

Otto Feb 19th, 2009 06:07 PM

No, I gave away the last one I made without photographing it. I'm ordering a vincent price shrunken apple head kit so I can make some more. It's supposed to come with a special drying chamber that clips onto a lamp so drying only takes a couple of days. I'll definitely photograph the new one once I make it.

pac-man Feb 19th, 2009 06:20 PM

I'm surprised I've never seen/heard of shrunken apple heads. That's pretty cool.

Fathom Zero Feb 19th, 2009 06:21 PM

Crabapples aren't poisonous, they are strong and bitter.

executioneer Feb 19th, 2009 06:57 PM

yeah you can add them to cider or make jelly out of them but they are not for eating by themselves

RaNkeri Feb 20th, 2009 12:34 AM

Holy shit, it's Vincent Price

zeldasbiggestfan Feb 20th, 2009 08:24 AM

I like how it went from a picture of a kitten, a flower, and a grenade to crabapples. Holy shit Rankeri.

I want an apple now, you sons of bitches.

Tadao Feb 20th, 2009 12:41 PM

I hate how it all ended with ZBF.

pac-man Feb 20th, 2009 12:46 PM

The height of anticlimax.

Grislygus Feb 20th, 2009 12:47 PM

Normally I don't like the fucking HILARIOUS AND WACKY YOUTUBE VIDEOS you see everywhere, but this Italian Spiderman thing is probably the best thing this side of Rug Cop

Kitsa Feb 20th, 2009 03:07 PM

I do not understand the ventilation patterns in this house, where when a cat takes a dump in the litterbox two rooms away the smell is strongest over my computer desk (?)

pac-man Feb 20th, 2009 03:47 PM

What happened to Pickleman?

WhiteRat Feb 20th, 2009 06:15 PM

The only thing that can ease the pain of such a shitty work week is Jim Beam.

pac-man Feb 20th, 2009 06:22 PM

Cheers, WR

WhiteRat Feb 20th, 2009 06:25 PM

So my roommate got conned into babysitting a 2 month old baby for a friend of his. He has no experience with kids. What kind of mother leaves her 2 month old with a guy who doesn't have the first clue how to make formula or change a diaper?

Tadao Feb 20th, 2009 06:26 PM

2 month? How long ddoes she plan on being out for?

WhiteRat Feb 20th, 2009 06:28 PM

I think she said 3-4 hours.

BTW, she got knocked up by a married guy with FIVE kids and she was well aware of that fact for the several months she was getting the pipe from him.

Babs Feb 20th, 2009 06:31 PM

Sounds like an episode of Maury.

Tadao Feb 20th, 2009 06:33 PM

2 hours is stretching it. I'm guessing it wasn't anything important she had to do. Maybe she's daddy hunting?

WhiteRat Feb 20th, 2009 06:33 PM

The best part was that the wife found out and followed her all the way to base (the knocked up chick is military) and was cussing her out through the fence. It was a hilarious scene.

WhiteRat Feb 20th, 2009 06:34 PM


Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 615087)
2 hours is stretching it. I'm guessing it wasn't anything important she had to do. Maybe she's daddy hunting?

She's going out to get drunk so yes she's probably daddy hunting.

Tadao Feb 20th, 2009 06:46 PM

Did mom stand there at attention straight faced? That would totally piss of wife.

WhiteRat Feb 20th, 2009 06:48 PM

She briskly walked away with her head down as the wife called her a bevy of interesting names. Everyone else nearby was utterly confused with "what the fuck?" looks on their faces.

Tadao Feb 20th, 2009 06:53 PM

She's gonna come home drunk and take care of her 2 month old baby? :( That makes me nervous about the babies safety. Especially if she didn't attract any men.

Kitsa Feb 20th, 2009 07:00 PM


Embee90 Feb 21st, 2009 05:38 AM


Originally Posted by pac-man (Post 614902)

I'm surprised I've never seen/heard of shrunken apple heads. That's pretty cool.

this is by far the most frightening thing i have ever seen. ever.

pac-man Feb 21st, 2009 08:03 AM

Don't get out much either, huh?

MetalMilitia Feb 21st, 2009 11:30 AM

Happy birthday Finland and Zhukov.

In International Standard PubLover Time that is.

MetalMilitia Feb 21st, 2009 11:32 AM


Kitsa Feb 21st, 2009 12:16 PM

Where is PubLover?

MetalMilitia Feb 21st, 2009 12:23 PM

New Zealand

:lol see what I did there?

But seriously I have no idea. Maybe dead.

Tadao Feb 21st, 2009 01:19 PM

I was wondering too, but I didn't ask him for fear that he would tell me all about his day :(

Happy Birthday you two foreigners!

Kitsa Feb 21st, 2009 01:25 PM

I didn't ask because I was sure he would have something bitter and sardonic to say about it.

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 21st, 2009 02:10 PM

Happy birthday Zhukov. Happy birthday Rankeri.

Big plans?

kahljorn Feb 21st, 2009 02:44 PM

man im so behind in my classes ;/ i have to read five chapters this weekend, and that's only for one class ;\
i hate not being able to afford books.


10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 21st, 2009 02:50 PM

What book?

kahljorn Feb 21st, 2009 03:24 PM

Some history text book ;\ luckily i found a used copy the other day, but i have a test on tuesday :O
one book was like 170 dollars though, a history of world art or something by gardner ;\ luckily the library had an old edition, which we rented. But i still dont have the book for my anthropology class ;\

it makes me mad cause if I dont get a's in all my classes I won't be able to graduate with a 3.9 ;\

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 21st, 2009 03:30 PM

that's why you have to find someone in your class and split books with them. See if the library can contact any other libraries in the area to see if they have a copy.

kahljorn Feb 21st, 2009 04:49 PM

;o yea im splitting the books with my wife but that doesnt really help financially.

Kitsa Feb 21st, 2009 05:45 PM

Holy fuck, is it the gigantic 3 inch thick gardner with the gold spine?

When I took art history I had to haul that fucker 45 minutes on the train to downtown at the AIC. I hate that book with a passion, but I'll never part with it because of the memories.

kahljorn Feb 21st, 2009 07:10 PM


is it the gigantic 3 inch thick gardner with the gold spine?
thats the one :(

Kitsa Feb 21st, 2009 09:39 PM

That is the heaviest book I own, counting the enormous A&P texts and giant PDRs from med school.

Did you have to buy the Baxendall and "Modernity and Modernism", too?

edit: huge and fucking evil.

Fathom Zero Feb 21st, 2009 09:55 PM


Fathom Zero Feb 21st, 2009 09:56 PM

Scraping Foetus Off The Wheel

kahljorn Feb 21st, 2009 10:49 PM


Did you have to buy the Baxendall and "Modernity and Modernism", too?
NOPE! Luckily... I like reading it though, even though reading one page takes like a million hours.

Tadao Feb 22nd, 2009 01:02 AM

Aaarg Feb 22nd, 2009 01:17 AM

i've been enlisted to show this kid the only goddamned dirt road in northern virginia tomorrow.

he doesn't seem to understand the directions i gave him: "go to clifton, turn left."

kahljorn Feb 22nd, 2009 02:15 AM

Now no body will ever know that i said, "Fuck white people."

Zhukov Feb 22nd, 2009 03:10 AM

Hey, thanks everyone. My own mother didn't even realise it was my birthday, so this means a lot that the internet does. i-mockery is the first forum to acknowledge it, thanks.

Happy birthday to you too, Rankeri.

My birthday plans consisted of going to work and now staying at home. I got a cactus form someone at work that has a crush on me.

kahljorn Feb 22nd, 2009 05:15 AM

happy birthday dude

Zhukov Feb 22nd, 2009 08:22 AM

Thanks :)

Also, it is Australasia's national month of mourning, so Pup Lover might be taking it quite seriously.

Kitsa Feb 22nd, 2009 08:55 AM

I didn't even know there was a national month of mourning, but happy birthday nonetheless.

My dad forgot to do anything for my mom for Valentine's day. That always makes me sad.

RaNkeri Feb 22nd, 2009 09:55 AM

Thank you MM, thank you 10k ghost and thank you zhukov.

And happy birthday zhukov!

I spent the weekend at my folks and just arrived back home. I think I'll spent rest of the day eating pizza and drinking beer.

Kitsa Feb 22nd, 2009 10:05 AM

This link sucked, so let's try a different one:


RaNkeri Feb 22nd, 2009 10:17 AM

I'll take those as a congratulation.

Thank you

Kitsa Feb 22nd, 2009 10:43 AM

You're welcome. I don't know how to say Happy Birthday in Finlandese.

I'm pretty fucking impressed right now. I had a 2G ipod shuffle that I used to clip to my clothes when I was working around the house. I'm not entirely sure how it happened, but it ended up going through the washer and the dryer. It actually ended up going through the dryer twice, since I reached in and felt the jeans and sweatshirts were still damp.

When I finally realized that the rattling was something bigger than a zipper, I pulled out a hot little chunk of metal that I was pretty sure was dead.

I let it sit for a couple of days and plugged it in, and damned if it's not charging. Too soon yet to know if the files are okay, but still. It even automatically fired up itunes.

I know it's essentially just a flash drive,but still, went through the washer and then the dryer twice.

Tadao Feb 22nd, 2009 12:58 PM


Originally Posted by RaNkeri (Post 615345)
Thank you MM, thank you 10k ghost and thank you zhukov.

And happy birthday zhukov!

I spent the weekend at my folks and just arrived back home. I think I'll spent rest of the day eating pizza and drinking beer.


pac-man Feb 22nd, 2009 02:59 PM

Birthday wishes to Zhukov and Rankeri.

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 22nd, 2009 03:02 PM

That's awesome

Tadao Feb 22nd, 2009 03:03 PM

That really is!

kahljorn Feb 22nd, 2009 03:38 PM

looks like hes only gonna live to be 18 :(

RaNkeri Feb 22nd, 2009 03:49 PM

Man, PBF was awesome, too bad the author quit :(

Kitsa Feb 22nd, 2009 05:20 PM

Giant mawfugging snake in Borneo....real or doctored?


pac-man Feb 22nd, 2009 05:23 PM

That'd be a big snake. If it is real we'll see it again before too long.

Grislygus Feb 22nd, 2009 06:13 PM

Oh for fuck's sake, does it doesn't evenlook real

MetalMilitia Feb 22nd, 2009 08:51 PM

Yeah come on Kitsa as someone that understands Photoshop exists do you think that looks remotely plausible.

Kitsa Feb 22nd, 2009 08:54 PM

I don't remember voicing an opinion, but a lot of news outlets bought it.

pac-man Feb 22nd, 2009 09:51 PM

Everything's photoshopped. :rolleyes

Babs Feb 22nd, 2009 10:17 PM

even our existence is photoshopped

MetalMilitia Feb 22nd, 2009 10:23 PM

Your existence looks more like MS Paint to me.

Tadao Feb 22nd, 2009 10:33 PM


executioneer Feb 23rd, 2009 01:47 AM


executioneer Feb 23rd, 2009 01:49 AM


executioneer Feb 23rd, 2009 01:53 AM


executioneer Feb 23rd, 2009 03:02 AM

what do you mean i can't ban myself for three months FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Dixie Feb 23rd, 2009 11:06 AM

Pyramid, Jungle, City of Lost Toys!

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