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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Kitsa Feb 27th, 2009 07:02 PM

In the dim light, I thought it was a wadded up piece of hosiery.

I thought perhaps a towel had mildewed and had a sour smell, or something. Wasn't sure.

RaNkeri Feb 27th, 2009 07:26 PM

I think I'll hit the hay

executioneer Feb 27th, 2009 07:37 PM

i think ill hit ur mom lololol

Lenor Feb 27th, 2009 10:39 PM

WOAH.. wait wait wait ... rewind be kind .. So this girl was grocery shopping and this guy just randomly grabbed her at knife point and dragged her out of the store?? She had to of been scared, you would think someone would of noticed? I know it was a very messed up situation, but why in hell didn't she start picking up random shit and hitting him with it, screaming fire and run the hell away?

Obviously that grocery store has really shitty employes and I would have it shut down..

Tadao Feb 27th, 2009 11:23 PM

She never made it to the store.

"The girl was going to buy a loaf of bread when Soriano snatched her from the street, threatened her with a knife and raped her."

Seven Force Feb 27th, 2009 11:30 PM

so the question left is which hole

Tadao Feb 27th, 2009 11:32 PM

She was like 13 so any hole has got to be nice and tight.

Seven Force Feb 27th, 2009 11:36 PM

oh my god i didnt know :x now i just feel terrible :(

Seven Force Feb 27th, 2009 11:37 PM

the toast that couldve been...

Lenor Feb 27th, 2009 11:40 PM

Brian.. my dear.. so so SO wrong..

kinda like all that funny porn you like to look at so much!

Seven Force Feb 28th, 2009 12:19 AM

feet is never funny

unless its clown shoes

kahljorn Feb 28th, 2009 01:47 AM


why in hell didn't she start picking up random shit and hitting him with it, screaming fire and run the hell away?

good job coming back and resuming your retarded character-like behavior ;\

pac-man Feb 28th, 2009 02:40 AM

Ease up, Kahl... the point was valid, but I don't think any of us knew that she got snatched before she got into the store before Tadao said so. There was a little girl (I forget how old, but under 13) who escaped her captors, got home, and had the cops on there asses before they knew she was gone a few years back. It's not unreasonable, assuming they're in a grocery store, to ask why wouldn't she go apeshit and throw stuff around and scream.

EDIT: Dave Chappelle - How old is 15, really?

(the girl was 7 years old http://findarticles.com/p/articles/m...02/ai_90468685)

executioneer Feb 28th, 2009 02:57 AM

guys get back on topic or im gonna split this stuff to the potilitics board

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 28th, 2009 03:17 AM

I'm drunk. That's the new topic.

"Beauty is only skin deep. Rape comes from inside" -.........Fucking Horrible.

pac-man Feb 28th, 2009 03:21 AM

I'm all verklempt... talk amongst yourselves... I'll give you a topic: 10,000 Volt Ghost is neither electrified nor deceased- discuss.

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 28th, 2009 03:39 AM


Still kinda drunk.....might meet this guy I met on craigslist. Hopefully I won't die. :(

pac-man Feb 28th, 2009 03:45 AM

Meh... I've met plenty of people on Craigslist and I haven't died yet. Granted they were from the erotic services section, but still... :\

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 28th, 2009 03:52 AM

Maybe I should just drink less. I'm supposed to hang out with this Polish-Rican hottie on sunday I met through my roommate. From what I gathered talking to her so far she's basically just me with a vagina. Or I'm her with a penis. We haven't decided yet. Either way I think we're the mirror image of each other.

Here's hopin for Buttsex.

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 28th, 2009 03:59 AM

Happy Birthday Uncle_Sham

You ignorant fucks!

MetalMilitia Feb 28th, 2009 07:22 AM

Oh my god. I've got the worst fucking hangover ever.

Cures please

Kitsa Feb 28th, 2009 07:40 AM

I didn't even know there was a fucking topic in the chat thread. Do we have to stick to KITTIES or whatever the first post's current edit is?

Anyhow, I've got no sympathy for those of you who can't even go back one fucking page to check the details of a news story.

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 28th, 2009 02:33 PM


Originally Posted by MetalMilitia (Post 616452)
Oh my god. I've got the worst fucking hangover ever.

Cures please

I'm sure I'm hours late for the cure but I use cranberry juice to flush my system.

pac-man Feb 28th, 2009 02:49 PM

Hair o' the dog.

Guitar Woman Feb 28th, 2009 03:39 PM


Guitar Woman Feb 28th, 2009 03:40 PM


kahljorn Feb 28th, 2009 03:54 PM

It's not valid, she was just being a fucking idiot. And so are you. Go fuck yourself.

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 28th, 2009 05:21 PM


Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 616516)


executioneer Feb 28th, 2009 05:38 PM


Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 616454)
I didn't even know there was a fucking topic in the chat thread. Do we have to stick to KITTIES or whatever the first post's current edit is?

i was being facetious i just didtn think this thread was an appropriate place to have a "serious discussion"!

Kitsa Feb 28th, 2009 05:50 PM

Sorry. I've had a really shitty few days.

executioneer Feb 28th, 2009 06:29 PM

haha literally :(

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 28th, 2009 07:20 PM


Kitsa Feb 28th, 2009 09:29 PM

Yes, part of it did involve actual shit :(

Tadao Feb 28th, 2009 09:55 PM

I was peeing out my butt yesterday.

Kitsa Feb 28th, 2009 10:18 PM

That sounds like fun.

I woke up with something similar to strep this morning. My throat hurt so badly it was hard to get two excedrin down, and I've got one of those fevers where your skin and hair even hurt.

With everything else going on, it's making for a really great time.

kahljorn Feb 28th, 2009 11:21 PM

good god...

pac-man Feb 28th, 2009 11:23 PM

I think I'm coming down with polio.

Kitsa Feb 28th, 2009 11:34 PM

shit happens to everyone sooner or later, just life, doesn't matter.

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 1st, 2009 02:06 AM

Uh Oh. Polio!

Just put some Tussin on it.

Tadao Mar 1st, 2009 02:46 AM

Rub your chest with raw chicken to cure Polio.

pac-man Mar 1st, 2009 04:11 AM

False alarm. It was just gas.

executioneer Mar 1st, 2009 05:39 AM


executioneer Mar 1st, 2009 05:41 AM

i never should've gotten the ingredients to make margaritas, now i'm all drunk and shit and everyones gone to bed

Zhukov Mar 1st, 2009 06:53 AM

There's always the southern hemisphere.

executioneer Mar 1st, 2009 08:26 AM

in theory, yes

Zhukov Mar 1st, 2009 09:03 AM

I think it's there in practice, too. My existence proves this.

Kitsa Mar 1st, 2009 09:40 AM


Sore throat's still here. I was hoping when I woke up it'd be gone :( Dammit.

Fathom Zero Mar 1st, 2009 11:10 AM

Work sucks.

RaNkeri Mar 1st, 2009 11:11 AM


I accidentally bought a bottle of Pepsi Max Mojo, and it's fucking disgusting :x

But being a man I'm planning to finish it no matter what >:

RaNkeri Mar 1st, 2009 01:44 PM

Holy shit, I did it.

I'm still standing

Tadao Mar 1st, 2009 02:25 PM

You're so metal!

RaNkeri Mar 1st, 2009 02:26 PM


RaNkeri Mar 1st, 2009 04:07 PM

How is it possible that I fail twice when it comes to choosing what to drink?

I decided to try this German gluten free beer and guess what, it was fucking disgusting :x
It smelled like honey/syrup, the taste was like a mixture of water and honey/syrup and it generally wasn't like beer at all. Honestly, I've never ever drank anything like it.

Should've sticked to the good ol' ones instead of trying new shit.

Tadao Mar 1st, 2009 04:25 PM

Gluten free beer? Isn't gluten free = wheat free?

RaNkeri Mar 1st, 2009 04:29 PM

Yup. But some beers have so small amounts of gluten that it wont cause any symptoms.

Tadao Mar 1st, 2009 05:02 PM

I would think that a wheatless beer would taste like a beer I wouldn't want to drink.

RaNkeri Mar 1st, 2009 05:03 PM

You should try Kukko beer, that stuff is awesome

Supafly345 Mar 1st, 2009 10:53 PM

executioneer Mar 2nd, 2009 04:02 PM


Tadao Mar 2nd, 2009 05:59 PM

Zhukov Mar 2nd, 2009 09:05 PM


That's terrible.

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 2nd, 2009 09:10 PM


wobzire Mar 3rd, 2009 01:29 PM

What the hell is up today everyone?

pac-man Mar 3rd, 2009 01:49 PM

hi wob

Tadao Mar 3rd, 2009 01:51 PM

working :(

RaNkeri Mar 3rd, 2009 01:57 PM

Hurrah, "I am legend" arrived today :rock

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 3rd, 2009 03:34 PM

Happy Birthday Colonel Flagg! Hope it's Sunny for you today.

Tadao Mar 3rd, 2009 03:43 PM


pac-man Mar 3rd, 2009 03:48 PM

Happy Bday Colonel Flagg, you old codger.

pac-man Mar 3rd, 2009 04:00 PM

It's "No Cussing Week" in Los Angeles. That's pretty fucking lame.

Kitsa Mar 3rd, 2009 06:50 PM

I just got back from my grandmother's funeral. It was depressing because it was just like "generic grandma funeral #415", there wasn't anything really personal about it and I felt like she deserved better. :/

Then there was this volunteer group we didn't know who wanted to feed everyone afterward and that was nice of them. But there was no room for all of the people, so the bf and I ended up sitting on some neon purple steps in some sunday school room wondering why there was a picture of Chuck Norris on the door and why there was a completed hangman game with the answer "CHUCK NORRIS" on the blackboard.

Now I am going to go to the mexican restaurant and get an enchilada platter and a GIANT fucking dos equis because it has been that kind of day.

Tadao Mar 3rd, 2009 06:58 PM

Tadao Mar 3rd, 2009 06:59 PM

lol wtf is crossdaily.com :(

Tadao Mar 3rd, 2009 07:37 PM

I gots the after being sick for a week stomach rumbles. My farts vibrate the bed.

MetalMilitia Mar 3rd, 2009 09:16 PM

pac-man Mar 3rd, 2009 09:32 PM

If you could shrink that down... a little, maybe... :/

Kitsa Mar 3rd, 2009 09:32 PM

All of that was a Strong Bad voice in my head :(

the Mexican restaurant thing was a bumblefuck. Somehow a 12 oz beer became a 44 oz beer...not complaining, but I barely got through half. Our waiter was of the fat, shuffling, generally ineffective variety and we waited 45 mins for the fucking bill. Then when we paid with a giftcard, the cashier thought our 8-cent giftcard balance meant we owed 8 cents and he shouted and ran after us like we were trying to rip him off.

I had a lot of dos equis in me and for whatever reason it didn't occur to me to sort it out in Spanish, I just stood there like a me-no-speeka and let a waiter argue with him.

And then we left. It's over!

Colonel Flagg Mar 3rd, 2009 09:50 PM

Not that it means much, but I liked it.

Thanks for the birthday wishes, 10K and Pac. And I prefer to think of myself as a "geezer" not a "codger" ;)

kahljorn Mar 3rd, 2009 10:17 PM

it was alright but it took forever to read :(

Tadao Mar 3rd, 2009 10:23 PM

I thoroughly enjoyed it.

executioneer Mar 3rd, 2009 10:49 PM

guys would anyone get mad if i started locking every thread kulturkampf makes

i'm getting tired of seeing his stupid shit when i search for new posts

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 3rd, 2009 10:50 PM

I'm for that.

executioneer Mar 3rd, 2009 10:53 PM

i'd merge em but then the incoherence would reach critical mass and it'd probably cause a rip in the fabric of the internet

Tadao Mar 3rd, 2009 10:54 PM

Wouldn't that be like declaring war on a lesser uncultured nation? I think he wouldn't mind then.

executioneer Mar 3rd, 2009 10:54 PM

i mean i dont want to deprive kahljorn and the assorted philo board folks of a punching bag or anything i'm just not really all that thrilled to read all this nonsense

executioneer Mar 3rd, 2009 10:55 PM

maybe i'll wait for him to start another thread, yeah

Dixie Mar 4th, 2009 01:33 AM

I'm kind of enjoying him.

pac-man Mar 4th, 2009 02:53 AM


Originally Posted by executioneer (Post 617125)
guys would anyone get mad if i started locking every thread kulturkampf makes

i'm getting tired of seeing his stupid shit when i search for new posts

No one would get mad. Please do something about his fucking threads.

RaNkeri Mar 4th, 2009 02:59 AM

Hurrah, I think I passed the astronomy test :eek

pac-man Mar 4th, 2009 03:00 AM


pac-man Mar 4th, 2009 03:11 AM


Originally Posted by executioneer (Post 617132)
maybe i'll wait for him to start another thread, yeah

The next person to start a thread like that without a clear-cut point to make needs to be made an example of. No one comes here for that shit. :\

Dixie Mar 4th, 2009 03:39 AM

Aren't those just entries from his blog he's posting anyways?
They all seem to come from the site he has listed in his profile.

kahljorn Mar 4th, 2009 04:14 AM

yea, its pretty much just his blog.

I say merge them all and let us jerkoffs sort it out. or lock it it doesn't really matter. Even I'm getting bored with him ;/

kahljorn Mar 4th, 2009 04:24 AM

hes inspired my girlfriend and i to wear monocles in our mouths though when we EXCHANGE WORDS OF A HAUGHTY NATURE WITH THE ESTEEM OF THE GENTLEST OF GENTRY.

haha and she thought he sounded like some fight club douchebag too ;\

Big McLargehuge Mar 4th, 2009 04:38 AM

Hay folks. I just had my first suicide attempt :o. Tried to hang myself in the closet, the unconscious body does some crazy things to keep itself alive. I have the worst headache of my life now. Doubt I will try that again.

Dixie Mar 4th, 2009 04:47 AM

In a closet?
That's gay.

kahljorn Mar 4th, 2009 04:50 AM

at least you didn't get 5150ed. that shit sucks ;\

im on aim if you wanna shoot shit.

kahljorn Mar 4th, 2009 04:51 AM


Agony and ecstacy Your cries of pain my pleasure To know my machine internally Your torment I treasure

I hear that song everytime i watch Nosferatu

Dixie Mar 4th, 2009 04:57 AM

I thought the Nosferatu thing was with October Rust?

kahljorn Mar 4th, 2009 05:02 AM

*shrug* they have a lot of different songs on it

im watching itright now cause i watch the same things all the time :(

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