I-Mockery Forum

I-Mockery Forum (http://i-mockery.com/forum/index.php)
-   General Blabber (http://i-mockery.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=7)
-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 12th, 2009 03:18 AM


Let me know if it doesn't work. It not it's under myspace.com/lockeness then it'll be the picture of me and my sis

Tadao Mar 12th, 2009 03:20 AM

I would totally fuck that slut.

pac-man Mar 12th, 2009 03:20 AM

Cute and a flip cup champion... how many asses you kicked because of her over the years?

Tadao Mar 12th, 2009 03:30 AM

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 12th, 2009 03:48 AM


I'm literally crying because I'm laughing so hard.


10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 12th, 2009 03:49 AM


Originally Posted by pac-man (Post 618962)
Cute and a flip cup champion... how many asses you kicked because of her over the years?

About 3........3

pac-man Mar 12th, 2009 03:50 AM

I couldn't have a sister... I'm the jealous type.

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 12th, 2009 03:50 AM

They both went to sleep. Might be throwing up. Lame because it's light beer. I think they were drinking gin too though. I'm going to sleep.

G'Night Gentlemen and Ladies.

Dixie Mar 12th, 2009 03:54 AM

Night night.

Still awake.

pac-man Mar 12th, 2009 03:56 AM

I'm nocturnal till classes start again. Spring breakin' on budget.

Tadao Mar 12th, 2009 04:06 AM

Go take pics of them in bed 10K!

Dixie Mar 12th, 2009 04:07 AM

Spring break already?

I just don't sleep. Most nights I haunt the internet looking for something tha interests or inspires me. Normally I end up watching retarded people on Youtube and harrassing Tadao's AIM account while he's asleep.

pac-man Mar 12th, 2009 04:11 AM

Not even spring weather yet either. :(

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 12th, 2009 04:14 AM

I woke up once. Went to say goodbye to them and saw nothing but a bunch of ass. I was like "That's it. I'm oughta here!"

I'm back home now. Going to sleep for reals this time. Night night.

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 12th, 2009 04:15 AM


Tadao Mar 12th, 2009 04:17 AM

Speaking of which, it's bed time. I look forward to waking up and finding clips of animal porn and bloody undistinguished object.

Dixie Mar 12th, 2009 04:19 AM

Bye fellas.


pac-man Mar 12th, 2009 04:22 AM

"Goodnight song, played so wrong
Blame the crowd, they scream so loud, so long

Dixie Mar 12th, 2009 04:23 AM

Bad stoners get the munchies but can't find anything but fiber tablets to eat.

pac-man Mar 12th, 2009 04:27 AM

I always end up doing the stoned drive to a 24-hour joint like Taco Bell or Jack in the Box. Snack food never gets the job done for me.

Dixie Mar 12th, 2009 04:34 AM

You know how they advertise Sonic to be open til midnight in the summer?
Well, it still closes at 9 here.

Never had Jack in the Box.

pac-man Mar 12th, 2009 04:43 AM

You're not missing much, but their quantities are definitely 4:20 friendly.

Dixie Mar 12th, 2009 04:48 AM

Probably good there isn't one near by then.

Got some Papa John's pizza though!

Dixie Mar 12th, 2009 05:00 AM

No, Pizza, I will not eat you.
You are for dinner.

Dixie Mar 12th, 2009 05:07 AM

Stop looking at me that way.
You know I'm saving you because I like you so much.

Kitsa Mar 12th, 2009 09:32 AM

That new dog collar I got yesterday is a big success. I guess that was the answer...the dog thinks it's a horse, treat it like a horse and put a halter on its face. It trotted beside me and didn't pull once.

Excellent purchase for $18.

Tadao Mar 12th, 2009 01:58 PM

I love Jack in the Boxes Ultimate Cheeseburger. That fucker sits in your gut all day and you never get hungry again.

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 12th, 2009 02:36 PM

I have commercials for Jack in the Box but no Jack in the Box to be found. Same thing with Sonic. Closest one is in another state.

I want a Hardees to be built close to me so I can stop driving to Cleveland Ohio for it.

Kitsa Mar 12th, 2009 02:51 PM

In my opinion, you're not really missing anything with Sonic. Some of their commercials have actually made me gag (the one where you dip the biscuit sandwich into a bowl of gravy) and the drinks just look flat-out unhealthy.

I don't know how ours stays open, there's never anyone there and there's a really good Culver's about 2 mins' walk from it.

Tadao Mar 12th, 2009 02:59 PM

We had a Sonic by my old place. I don't like eating in cars though.

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 12th, 2009 03:03 PM

Totally want Derby girls to bring me my food. I've been to a Po Boys before.

Kitsa Mar 12th, 2009 03:16 PM

I'm filling out a reporter's questionnaire right now. I never know what to say and the temptation to make up interesting answers is great. :/ I'm bad at the publicity stuff.

Edited after a thought: It's always the same questions over and over again, I mean re: food art, maybe I should just write up something standard and give everyone the same prefab answer. It would be easier.

Tadao Mar 12th, 2009 03:31 PM

It would be consistent at least. Plus since you don't enjoy it you wouldn't have to really deal with it after you made your cheat sheet.

Kitsa Mar 12th, 2009 03:39 PM

Well, one of the things that's always a problem is that it's mainly foreign reporters and it's hard making sure I'm going to be understood. I'm assuming they're asking me in English and then translating for their readers, and I don't know what the resultant article says anyway, so I have no idea what the hell they're saying about me.

Tadao Mar 12th, 2009 03:41 PM

Hehehehe, that's great for us.

Kitsa Mar 12th, 2009 03:44 PM


Dear Prudence,
My boyfriend and I are in a healthy and loving relationship, and we are beginning to talk about marriage. We both want the same number of kids at the same point in our lives. It is presumed that these will be our biological children. The issue is, I'm not sure that I would want to bear my boyfriend's children. While he is incredibly intelligent and has a great personality, he is markedly less physically attractive than I am. We get occasional lighthearted comments from friends and family about the discrepancy. Having biological children has never been important to me, and I think adoption is great. I believe that he will be an amazing father and that our children, biological or adopted, would be bright and well-behaved as a result of good parenting. Should I bring these thoughts up with him? I think he would be open to the idea of adoption but would also be hurt by my rationale. At what point should we discuss this more seriously, and how should I tell him how I feel?
—Skinny Bitch
Dear Skinny,
You're wise to avoid the potential tragedy of reproducing with your boyfriend: Your children could get his looks and your personality. Perhaps your boyfriend's already got an inkling of how you feel because of the Leonardo DiCaprio mask you ask him to wear when you make love. And although Brad and Angelina are both fecund and support adoption, I'm not sure they're going to agree to place any of their future progeny with you just to help you avoid the embarrassment of having a child who looks like your boyfriend. I'm trying to imagine how you initiate this discussion with him. Something like: "I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you. But when it comes to having kids, I'm sure that if we adopt we'll have a better shot of having decent-looking ones than if I let you impregnate me with your hideous sperm." That should go over well! What's supposed to happen when you are in love with someone (who also happens to be intelligent and have a great personality) is that you discover, despite objective measures, that person is beautiful to you. Your boyfriend sounds like a catch, so maybe you should toss him back so that he has a chance to find someone who's not permanently stuck in the shallow end.

Tadao Mar 12th, 2009 04:13 PM

I wanna see pics of these two people.

Also, the end of the world has been fortold.


Fathom Zero Mar 12th, 2009 04:46 PM


Kitsa Mar 12th, 2009 04:51 PM

We'll probably never see pics of those two people, but I would love to.

She probably thinks of how much more attractive she is every time she looks at him.

Fathom Zero Mar 12th, 2009 04:54 PM


Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 619036)


Kitsa Mar 12th, 2009 05:23 PM

My front tooth just broke. Again.

These incidents are also known as the only times I ever actually say MOTHERFUCKER out loud.

Dixie Mar 12th, 2009 05:32 PM

That sucks.

My best friend had a bad accident on Mardi Gras this year.
She was standing on a barricade and just blacked out.
When she hit the street, one tooth broke and got shoved into her sinus cavity.
The other tooth went through her lip and ripped her chin open.

She is really talented at creative accidents/injuries like that.

Kitsa Mar 12th, 2009 05:40 PM

She was standing on the barricade?

Mine is my own fault, I was gritting my teeth because of the dog, who is apparently in a "difficult" stage at the moment.

She invented a game. She starts barking frantically and whining to go outside.

Once out, she won't go to the bathroom. She prefers to stand and look around, or try to playfully tackle me. Bonus points if it's 20F or lower, or at night, or if I have dinner on the stove at the time.

She barked for the better part of 6 hours today and even learned to sniff her butt (used to be an absolute sign she needed to go) for added authenticity. Smart dogs = manipulative dogs.

I had a birthday day trip planned this weekend, since my actual birthday is an un-fun weekday. Now, instead of happily getting ready to go, I get to sit in a dentist chair and get a big ol' lidocaine shot up under my nose.


Tadao Mar 12th, 2009 05:59 PM

Who has 2 thumbs and will fuck your mom?

Kitsa Mar 12th, 2009 06:25 PM

shit, I can't find a good pic of my dad with 2 thumbs up.

Dixie Mar 12th, 2009 06:26 PM

Yeah, she was standing on a partitioned concrete wall watching the parade.

Your dog sounds evil.

Kitsa Mar 12th, 2009 06:59 PM

When you're standing outside in 10-degree windchill with the dog wanting to be let out just to have something to do, yeah, she feels pretty evil. Other times she's sweet.

kahljorn Mar 13th, 2009 12:28 AM

My art history class is bullshit :( I studied my ass off and there was some shit on the test that I dont remember being in the lecture and wasn't in my edition of the book ;/ although my edition is a few editions old ;\

hey kitsa what edition is your gardners history through the ages? I need to know what painting influenced SEURAT? The two choices I remember were Mrs. Richard Brinsley Sheridan and The anatomy of dr. tulip but i can't remember the other ones ;\

she also said that half of the midterm would be an old quiz we took and only THREE OF THE PAINTINGS were even on the quiz and none of the multiple choice. Only one fuckingoiehaoughaouhgoeuahfgeagouheougheaouhgaeouh fdf

Babs Mar 13th, 2009 04:46 AM


Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 619017)
I have commercials for Jack in the Box but no Jack in the Box to be found. Same thing with Sonic. Closest one is in another state.

I want a Hardees to be built close to me so I can stop driving to Cleveland Ohio for it.

hahahaha I drive to Circleville, OH on certain occasions to get some Hardee's.

I have a Sonic right down the street and I totally slam there every once in a while. No Jack in the Box's in Ohio though.... Actually I know the only one; true god damn story.

executioneer Mar 13th, 2009 06:24 AM

we have 4 jacks in boxes, just last year we got a carl's jr (basically = hardees) but no sonics within almost 100 miles :( nearest one's almost in oregon. i like their slurpee-equivalents

Babs Mar 13th, 2009 06:52 AM

They're amazing with those over sized drinks they dub (RT 44) which is the most stupid name for a god damn drink but anyways, if you go there before like 4 in the afternoon, they only cost $1. That includes the limeades, slushies, ocean water (sprite with coconut flavoring), and all kinds suicidal flavors of deliciousness for those types of drinks. Soooooo good.

Zomboid Mar 13th, 2009 08:07 AM

I don't think we have any of the SUPER-FAT fast food restaurants like Carl's Jr/Hardee's over here.

People go fucking nuts for Tim Horton's though.

Kitsa Mar 13th, 2009 08:15 AM

I love Tim Horton's coffee and muffins, but I don't really think their doughnuts or "sandwiches" are very good. I do have some timbits from time to time, though.

Last time I went to Hardees the coffee was salty and it occurred to me that I needed to get rid of it ASAP.

The Leader Mar 13th, 2009 12:27 PM


Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 619087)
I need to know what painting influenced SEURAT? The two choices I remember were Mrs. Richard Brinsley Sheridan and The anatomy of dr. tulip but i can't remember the other ones ;\

Do you mean The Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Nicolaes Tulp by Rembrandt?

Kitsa Mar 13th, 2009 12:38 PM

I have the 10th edition and it doesn't mention any particular painting. It mentions the "color theories of Delacroix and the color scientists Hermann von Helmholtz and Michel Chevreul" and says that his style is "descended" from Piero della Francesca and Uccello.

RaNkeri Mar 13th, 2009 03:37 PM

Hurrah, my friend's brother was able to find the cable that connects 32x to Mega Drive.

Now I can play MK2 :rock

Kitsa Mar 13th, 2009 03:39 PM

Narrator makes alkie grandmas feel bad:


kahljorn Mar 13th, 2009 03:45 PM

carls jr is delicious :( i love GOOD charbroiled hamburgers. famous stars=heart. sonic drinks are waaaaaaaaaaayyyy too sweet though and who would want tater tots with their meal anyway? ;\

yea, that was one of the options, leader.

And that's what my book says, kitsa :( but nothing about WHICH PAINTING IN PARTICULAR OUT OF ALL THE PAINTINGS IN THE WORLD influenced it the most ;\ prolly something she mentioned in passing during class.

Kitsa Mar 13th, 2009 03:54 PM

I used to have a biology professor who, I think, mentioned stuff in private conversations with students after class. Then he forgot he'd said it in private conversations and thought he'd said it in lecture, making it fair game for the test. That was a horrible testing experience.

kahljorn Mar 13th, 2009 03:57 PM

gah :(

Kitsa Mar 13th, 2009 03:59 PM

I've mentioned the guy before, he's the same one who inspired the t-shirts in the book store saying you'd survived his class.

kahljorn Mar 13th, 2009 04:34 PM

GAH :(

yea this is the hardest class ive ever had before ;\ im not sure ill be able to get an a in it because i fucked up on the first test (didnt have the book ;\) and only got a 70 :(

she doesn't grade on a curve either and the highest score on her first test was like an 80 somethin

and when she talks about art she does it in a way that you have to know about the basics of art to know what the fuck she's talking about ;\ IT HAS ASSYMETRICAL LINES AND VIVID HUES WHICH ARE FLAT BECAUSE OF THE OVERHEAD PERSPECTIVE
i dunno what any of that shit means except overhead perspective and flat ;\

Kitsa Mar 13th, 2009 09:03 PM

Sometimes you just have to bypass the A and escape with whatever you can get.

More of my tooth just broke off :/ I go to the dentist tomorrow, which sort of ruins my good day I had planned, but it was nice of them to fit me in on a saturday.

Stupid defective body with stupid defective teeth.

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 13th, 2009 09:57 PM

I can't wait for tomorrow. I have a half-day, getting out at 6:00 PM for the Sabres Game and then I have off SUNDAY, MONDAY, TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY. Having me an Irish vacation. Last year at the Paddy's day parade for some reason there was someone driving a Pink Cadillac with a horn that played La Cucha Racha.....hilarious.

Pi day is tomorrow too!

Shyandquietguy Mar 13th, 2009 11:50 PM

Jesus fucking christ I'm moving across states to hopefully get a job in the place where I want to live but I still feel nervous as shit!

Hey Homies. What's the up side of thangs?

Also, what the fuck are you thinking that you'll have fun at a sports event!

executioneer Mar 13th, 2009 11:53 PM

shyandquietguy are you really related to mradventure or am i assuming too much

Shyandquietguy Mar 14th, 2009 12:06 AM

Related? I look up to the guy!

I don't see "Big Brothers and Sisters" I see "Give me your ace, I'll give you my jack and that makes a full flush!"

executioneer Mar 14th, 2009 12:18 AM

that doesnt sound very straight to me

Tadao Mar 14th, 2009 12:21 AM

kinda gay really

Shyandquietguy Mar 14th, 2009 12:28 AM

I was the youngest one of all and I was never really given a positive reason to socially explore.

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 14th, 2009 03:38 AM

GAY AS FUCK Hey buddy, I agree with what your saying although I'm drunk.

Dixie Mar 14th, 2009 05:59 AM

Just youuu and meeee, Kitsa!
Just youuuuuuuu and meeeeeeeeee!
Let's make cookies and laugh at peeeoopleee in the malllllllllll!

Kitsa Mar 14th, 2009 06:04 AM


I have a dentist appointment as soon as the office opens, and I'm just so excited about it I can't sleep :rolleyes

Dixie Mar 14th, 2009 06:09 AM

Good luck at the dentist's office!
Scream really loud if there are kids in the waiting room.

Kitsa Mar 14th, 2009 06:11 AM

Heh! My dentist is really nice, the best dentist I've ever had. He does have one particular assistant, though, who scares the hell out of me. She's really rough, almost gouged me in the eye with a dental instrument once, and gets angry when the dentist says no charge (it's the same tooth that breaks over and over).

Last time it broke, she told me that next time I was gonna pay. I didn't know whether she meant money or that I would suffer.

Dixie Mar 14th, 2009 06:14 AM

Uh oh.
That does sound scary.
Evil dog and evil dental assistant.
You just can't catch a break, man.

Kitsa Mar 14th, 2009 06:22 AM

Yeah, an office full of nice ones and I got the one mean one. Go figure.

I'm just going to concentrate on afterward, when I get to go to ikea and a nice restaurant and a kickass international grocery.

Dixie Mar 14th, 2009 06:25 AM

Well, you have something to look forward to at least. That's good!

I get to move boxes in the cold rain.
This is my cue to get a cold.

Aaarg Mar 14th, 2009 01:40 PM

I bought a backpack: Kelty RedCloud 6650. Fucker's huge, and bigger than I will probably ever need (but you never know!).

Zomboid Mar 14th, 2009 01:59 PM


I got so drunk last night that I wouldn't have been able to get a boner even if I picked up (which I didn't). I also got my shirts from fright rags. We're the most stylin' kids on the block with these :D

Kitsa Mar 14th, 2009 05:27 PM

Well, I ended up having no anesthesia at the dentist's, which always makes me feel like a total badass. He said he didn't need to drill for long, if I thought I could make it. Ended up being about 15 seconds of discomfort (and of course you're always waiting for the BIG zap to happen), but I lived. Toofers all pretty now.

Went to Ikea immediately afterward, which was crazy packed and generally a pain in the ass. Here are some pics from Ikea for folks who've never had the displeasure:

This is the area where you drop off your kids before you go in the store. You pick them up at the checkout. The blue bubble-sign says "toilet-trained children are welcome".

Stool samples lolz.

Jelly rats!

Then we went to Jungle Jim's, the kickass supermarket that was overcrowded and not at all kickass today. The Indian food section, where I usually shop, had been raped, and the shopping carts around the produce were 5 thick. I got kind of a panic attack and had to leave because I hate people.

But I got my birthday cake, which never in a million years will last till then:

....and some incredible pistachio macaroons that were $5 for a bag of 4! (worth it)

I'll go back another time it's not so damn crowded, people always ruin it for me.

Babs Mar 14th, 2009 06:21 PM

Holy shit my skull feels like it got slammed on the ground. Way to much beer last night and Billy Idol karaoke.

Shyandquietguy Mar 14th, 2009 07:26 PM


Dixie Mar 14th, 2009 07:40 PM


Kitsa Mar 14th, 2009 09:15 PM

They sound delicious.

My tooth gradually realized that something had happened to it and has been throbbing sickeningly on and off. :/

Dixie Mar 15th, 2009 12:37 AM

How was the visit?

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 15th, 2009 01:51 AM

I went to roadhouse steakhouse. Patrick Swayze did not bring me my steak. I ordered Medium Well and I got fucking redass undercooked steak. So help me if I get food poisoning on the most important drinking day of they year tomorrow the hell I send them to will feel like heaven after what I've done to them.

Dixie Mar 15th, 2009 04:57 AM

It's 5 AM!
Are you people in church or something?
There's like nobody on AIM.

Dixie Mar 15th, 2009 04:59 AM

I mean it's totally cool if you are in church.
I just want entertainment.

Kitsa Mar 15th, 2009 05:52 AM

The visit was great. I did it without anesthesia so that means I'm a badass.

I'm here but getting ready to go back to that grocery store, since yesterday was such a crowded nightmare. We're going to be there when the doors open this time.

Dixie Mar 15th, 2009 06:13 AM

Rock on!

Kitsa Mar 15th, 2009 12:49 PM

Did the move go okay?

I made an important $1 purchase in the Jamaican section of Jungle Jim's...

Aaarg Mar 15th, 2009 02:24 PM


Womti Mar 15th, 2009 02:27 PM

hey guys what the hell happened to mockwars this year huh what

Womti Mar 15th, 2009 02:28 PM

also what the fuck is this
Mar 15th, 2009, 06:27 PM
my computer says 2: 28 PM

The Leader Mar 15th, 2009 04:41 PM

Your board settings are probably off, as your message was posted at 2:28 PM, according to the site, for me.

Tadao Mar 15th, 2009 07:28 PM

Colonel Flagg Mar 15th, 2009 11:20 PM

Do tell, what does authentic Jamaican cock taste like?

Chicken, perhaps? :lol

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 15th, 2009 11:33 PM

I pass on Jamaican Beef Patties tonight. I'll appreciate myself more next morning.

kahljorn Mar 16th, 2009 03:00 AM

what you guys don't like jerked cock? BAM!

Man I've been sick for like a week with weird symptoms ;\ my throat feels like something is stuck in it and i occasionally cough (actually i kinda forced them out) up these hard phlem ballish things and now my eyes are turning red and feel weird :( I think im turning into a zombie or something.

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:47 PM.

Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.