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-   -   Roller derby girls are super hot :p (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69701392)

Big McLargehuge Jan 1st, 2009 03:47 PM

Roller derby girls are super hot :p
 
ROLLER DERBY GIRLS ARE SUPER HOT

Tadao Jan 1st, 2009 04:16 PM

Take the advise of post #8

Perndog Jan 2nd, 2009 01:44 AM

No they're not.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 2nd, 2009 02:08 AM

Alcohol is super effective. My friend just came up with a great way to prevent girls from drinking and driving too. "You just gotta fuck the drunk out of them"

Fathom Zero Jan 2nd, 2009 02:49 AM

Ask em out for a coffee.

Srsly.

MetalMilitia Jan 2nd, 2009 11:27 AM

You realise no one on i-mockery has ever talked to a girl right?

Big McLargehuge Jan 2nd, 2009 12:50 PM

i should have put in the first post that i only wanted the responses of girls

Big McLargehuge Jan 2nd, 2009 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Perndog (Post 605489)
"Hey, do you want to go out with me some time?" usually works for me.

but what if they say no :x

Tadao Jan 2nd, 2009 01:04 PM

http://www.pick-up-woman.com/ask-girl-out-on-date.shtml

How To Ask A Girl Out For Date

If it is a girl you are really interested in your mind might be filled with doubts and insecurities :
What if she says no ?
Am I trying to move too fast ?
Maybe she thought we were just friends and she will be offended if I ask.
All of these fears, although natural and common, are dumb. If you want a date with this girl you have the right to ask her out. Don't allow your life to be ruled by doubt and insecurity.

MattJack Jan 2nd, 2009 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big McLargehuge (Post 605519)
but what if they say no :x

Brush that shi* off and then you just go right up to the next one and ask.

It's all a numbers game man. One has to say yes.

Dixie Jan 2nd, 2009 04:58 PM

While being flirty just ask if she'd like to go have dinner and some drinks sometime.
It's really not hard to do.
And if she says no, tell her you're just kidding and you think she's a fat ugly frigid cow.
That'll fix her.

Tadao Jan 2nd, 2009 05:01 PM

In a loud club.
You : "Would you like to dance?"
Her : "Hahaha, no."
You : "No, I said YOU LOOK FAT IN THOSE PANTS!"

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 2nd, 2009 08:11 PM

Just go up to her and yell "skeet skeet" at her. Worked for me twice.

Perndog Jan 2nd, 2009 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big McLargehuge (Post 605519)
but what if they say no :x

Then they don't want to go out with you, and you get to find that out immediately instead of being strung along for weeks or longer.

Big McLargehuge Jan 3rd, 2009 07:10 PM

i asked a girl out today, she said no and it didn't bother me at all :0

Zomboid Jan 3rd, 2009 07:45 PM

DID SHE SAY IT'S CAUSE YOU'RE FAT? DEMAND ANSWERS!

Sam Jan 3rd, 2009 08:26 PM

Was it that roller derby girl we were talking about? :(

Tadao Jan 3rd, 2009 08:48 PM

Try to fight the urge to finger her pooper while you are asking her out next time.

Big McLargehuge Jan 3rd, 2009 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam (Post 605738)
Was it that roller derby girl we were talking about? :(

no, she is waaaayyy out of my league

Sam Jan 3rd, 2009 09:22 PM

WELL IF YOU KEEP THAT NEGATIVE ATTITUDE UP IT'S NO WONDER

Big McLargehuge Jan 3rd, 2009 09:31 PM

she dates dudes that are all scrawny rockstar types. i went to a tarantula ad show and she totally went backstage with one of the guys :0

Sam Jan 3rd, 2009 09:38 PM

AND YOU JIZZED IN YOUR PANTS

Tadao Jan 3rd, 2009 09:47 PM

Even Meatloaf got the hotties. You gotta think BIG.

Sam Jan 3rd, 2009 09:49 PM

Like Doug.

bigtimecow Jan 3rd, 2009 10:53 PM

seriously, don't be like "lol will you be my girlfriend" because that's for fucking 8th graders. just keep seeing her and then we you guys start fucking on a regular basis, start calling her your girlfriend to other people and start holding her hand in public. otherwise there's this whole status compromise and it's just basdhasdasdasdauh

Sam Jan 3rd, 2009 11:01 PM

WRITE HER A NOTE WITH EMPTY BOXES BY YES OR NO AND TELL HER TO CHECK ONE.

:rolleyes

Tadao Jan 3rd, 2009 11:04 PM

Can I put my finger in your butt during sex?

[ ] Yes!
[ ] No!

Big McLargehuge Jan 4th, 2009 12:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigtimecow (Post 605764)
seriously, don't be like "lol will you be my girlfriend" because that's for fucking 8th graders. just keep seeing her and then we you guys start fucking on a regular basis, start calling her your girlfriend to other people and start holding her hand in public. otherwise there's this whole status compromise and it's just basdhasdasdasdauh

dude, i am not a fucking child. i am just wondering about the rules of courtship. because in the past girls have always come to me.

bigtimecow Jan 4th, 2009 01:18 AM

then let her come to you... or on you ;D

LordSappington Jan 4th, 2009 02:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big McLargehuge (Post 605748)
no, she is waaaayyy out of my league

By 'out of my league', you best be meaning that you're better. They're like shaved gorillas, with boobs. And skates. And a derby.

Big McLargehuge Jan 4th, 2009 02:28 PM

you clearly have never been to the tucson roller derby, while there are some of those most of the girls are hot as hell.

Fathom Zero Jan 4th, 2009 03:34 PM

Mmmmm... roller derby girls.

Tadao Jan 4th, 2009 03:39 PM

They are usually in great shape.

Sam Jan 4th, 2009 05:10 PM

I love roller derby girls. :(

Esuohlim Jan 4th, 2009 08:58 PM

DO THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I DO

THIS IS THE BEST ADVICE YOU'LL EVER GET

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 4th, 2009 11:10 PM

Or you should hold her hand on a regular basis and fuck her in public.

Big McLargehuge Jan 5th, 2009 01:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 605902)
DO THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I DO

THIS IS THE BEST ADVICE YOU'LL EVER GET

this advice is useless without knowing what you do :rolleyes

Esuohlim Jan 5th, 2009 01:41 AM

BASICALLY WHAT I DO IS NEVER ASK ANYONE OUT :tear

Big McLargehuge Jan 5th, 2009 02:33 AM

ME TOO :cry

MetalMilitia Jan 5th, 2009 09:42 AM

I don't know why milhouse is so unsuccessful with the ladies - all he needs to say is "Hey I'm a moderator on the I-Mockery forums" and they'd be like putty in his hands.

Dixie Jan 5th, 2009 10:25 AM

I've changed my mind about you guys.
Stick to chat lines.

Big McLargehuge Jan 5th, 2009 01:55 PM

you know you can't trust any of those internet girls ;)

LordSappington Jan 5th, 2009 01:59 PM

More like internet 'girls'.

Big McLargehuge Jan 5th, 2009 02:07 PM

oh yeah, cause there are no girls on the internet, i forgot about that :rolleyes

Sam Jan 5th, 2009 02:37 PM

MORE LIKE INTERNET "GIRLS" :rolleyes

MetalMilitia Jan 5th, 2009 03:41 PM

YOU THOUGHT THEY WERE GIRLS YOU IGNORANT FUCK? :ROLLEYES

Esuohlim Jan 5th, 2009 04:44 PM

WTF IS THIS ****SHIT

LordSappington Jan 5th, 2009 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big McLargehuge (Post 606014)
oh yeah, cause there are no girls on the internet, i forgot about that :rolleyes

Go into any public aol chatroom. My case will most likely be proven in about two minutes.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 5th, 2009 10:30 PM

I'm changing my prior advice. Go for the Roller Derby Girl. 75% of roller girls are really great looking.

http://qcrg.net/category/16/suicidal-saucies.aspx

Tadao Jan 5th, 2009 10:31 PM

75% of those are men :x

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 5th, 2009 10:40 PM

Yeah,.....but they're good looking.

Big McLargehuge Jan 6th, 2009 11:07 AM

75% of me is man baby

LordSappington Jan 7th, 2009 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 606115)
I'm changing my prior advice. Go for the Roller Derby Girl. 75% of roller girls are really great looking.

http://qcrg.net/category/16/suicidal-saucies.aspx

Seriously, I saw one, maybe two, girls in there that might have been okay. Assuming they aren't like those transvestites on Maury, where you can't tell them apart from a moderately attractive woman.

Big McLargehuge Jan 7th, 2009 02:07 AM

Who the fuck are you? Go away.

Perndog Jan 7th, 2009 03:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big McLargehuge (Post 606190)
75% of me is man baby

This gave me an image of a grotesque 6-foot-tall toddler.

I think I know why you're having trouble with the girls.

LordSappington Jan 8th, 2009 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big McLargehuge (Post 606190)
75% of me is man baby

Ah, just another senile emo high schooler. I'll probably die off the next big freeze.

Big McLargehuge Jan 8th, 2009 03:50 AM

what?

LordSappington Jan 9th, 2009 12:14 AM

I'm like a flea. Small and annoying.
Except I don't really do any good for the natural balance in the end.

DevilWearsPrada Jan 9th, 2009 12:54 AM

gaywad :rolleyes

Dixie Jan 9th, 2009 01:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DevilWearsPrada (Post 606832)
gaywad :rolleyes

Pot meet kettle. Kettle, this is pot.
I think you guys know what to do.

Big McLargehuge Jan 9th, 2009 04:11 PM

can we get a mod in here? this thread is dead.

Skulhedface Jan 11th, 2009 03:36 AM

The only practical advice you can get in that situation is to just man up and ask a girl out. If you're worried about social stigmas, (ie some girl saying something to the effect of "EWWWMYGAWD, that freak just asked me out!") then grow a pair. I tell you that to tell you this: Once you DO find one willing to be your girlfriend, what's more worth it? Some assface who laughs at you, or knowing someone will suck your junk (eventually)?

kahljorn Jan 13th, 2009 04:32 PM

I've never seen an attractive roller derby girl. They all look like they were constructed out of linkin logs. I mean the roller derby was basically designed so that ugly amazon-lookin-bitches could have some place in society.

MattJack Jan 13th, 2009 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 607691)
They all look like they were constructed out of linkin logs.

:lol

Big McLargehuge Jan 13th, 2009 10:43 PM

http://www.tucsonrollerderby.com/player.php?id=114 tell me she isn't attractive. but then again http://www.tucsonrollerderby.com/player.php?id=158 :\

kahljorn Jan 14th, 2009 12:42 AM

I'm sure if you looked hard enough you could find an attractive roller derby girl.

Big McLargehuge Jan 14th, 2009 12:58 AM

a higher percentage of roller derby girls are attractive compared to the general population.

MattJack Jan 14th, 2009 01:11 AM

she's aight

kahljorn Jan 14th, 2009 01:35 AM

Quote:

a higher percentage of roller derby girls are attractive compared to the general population. :posh
http://www.tucsonrollerderby.com/player.php?id=116
Here's your beautiful tuscon roller derby girls.

I looked at all the girl's on that page and only one of them could pass for a woman. And they all look like somebodies mother. Or grandmother. So far odds aren't in your favor.

kahljorn Jan 14th, 2009 01:40 AM

Quote:

Instead of going to juvenile hall, Ore decided to do manual labor at a copper mine in Bisbee, AZ as restitution. Little did she know what manual labor really meant. Poor Ore soon became known as Cheap Ore, only worth a few pennies to the copper miners she aided. One night, after working with a miner that reeked of patchouli, Ore decided to not recycle, but waste herself. Literally. Cheap Ore crawled into a dumpster and waited for the garbage truck to take her away with the rest of the trash. But in the bottom of the dumpster Ore found 3 things that would change her life forever-a Minor Threat record, a pair of roller skates, and a flyer from Tucson Roller Derbyís Copper Queens (who were looking for skaters). Ore snuck back to her room above the mines and listened to the record while she perused the flyer. It didnít take long for Ore to figure out what to do. She strapped on the roller skates and headed to Tucson. And the rest, my friends, is history in the making.
hahahahaahaha from that link of the beautiful tuscon roller girl omg :clap :applause that deserves an academy award

MattJack Jan 14th, 2009 01:45 AM

That would be a 90 minute movie i'd watch.

kahljorn Jan 14th, 2009 01:50 AM

it could be epic you should read the first three paragraphs.

Big McLargehuge Jan 14th, 2009 02:25 AM

you come to tucson and we will straighten this out

kahljorn Jan 14th, 2009 02:51 AM

you gonna sic the derby girls on me or something

Big McLargehuge Jan 14th, 2009 03:23 AM

you wish ;0

kahljorn Jan 14th, 2009 05:06 AM

yea that was the only thing i didn't get for christmas beat by giants

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 14th, 2009 12:00 PM

Good looking

http://qcrg.net/category/22/Team_QCR...sday_Hula.aspx

Not good looking but hilarious

http://qcrg.net/category/20/Alley_Ka...race_____.aspx

http://qcrg.net/category/18/Devil_Do...nt_Coach_.aspx

I would love to be a roller derby ref just so I could tell people my name is Gorilla McGillicutty.

Big McLargehuge Jan 14th, 2009 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 607835)
yea that was the only thing i didn't get for christmas beat by giants

i should introduce you to Knockka Ho' Down

Tadao Jan 14th, 2009 02:29 PM


Grislygus Jan 14th, 2009 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 607820)
http://www.tucsonrollerderby.com/player.php?id=116
Here's your beautiful tuscon roller derby girls.

I looked at all the girl's on that page and only one of them could pass for a woman. And they all look like somebodies mother. Or grandmother. So far odds aren't in your favor.

Hahahaha I finally look at this thread and kahl zeroes in on the exact pic I planned to make fun of

That thing has a dick, I promise you

kahljorn Jan 14th, 2009 04:58 PM

:lol, did you read her profile? it's fucking amazing.

Grislygus Jan 14th, 2009 05:05 PM

Not only do I believe it is heavily based on real events, I propose that the only differences between the profile biography and her real biography is omissions of childhood sodomy and the more boring details of coming to terms with its identity as a "transgendered individual"

kahljorn Jan 14th, 2009 06:07 PM

i like how one second in the story she's doing manual labor at a copper mine in lieu of jail time and the next she was skating off to tucson. I didn't know they let you roam around freely at labor camps.

;/

MattJack Jan 16th, 2009 04:35 PM

Houston has em too! Maybe I can roller skate on over and pick me up some ladies.

http://houstonrollerderby.com/public/Pag189.aspx

CLAUDIA VAN-DAMAGE

Quote:

Signature Move: The K.O. Hip Check. The streets around the Moulin Rouge can be dangerous for a girl after hours. Not wanting to touch potential attackers, Van Damage uses her hips to knock out her opponents on the track.
Werk them hips gurl

kahljorn Jan 17th, 2009 11:58 AM

what the fuck is wrong with roller derby girls, were they raised by the internet or something? Every profile i read is like, "HER LIFE WAS SO HARD AND SHE WAS GANGSTA SINCE AGE NINE DONT FUCKING FUCK WITH THIS MAD CAT KAZOO OR SHELL FIX HER THIGHS ON YOUR FACE"

Quote:

She made friends with a burlesque dancer/double agent spy named Mata Scari. The two reeked havoc in the suburbs while masquerading as housewives. They were thrown out of the local sewing circle due to their crude language, strange tastes in clothes, and their desire to skate until the death.
Why can't they just say shit like, "Ms. Treatment is an ex-liberal arts major who dropped out of real school to pursue a life as a professional secretary and part-time internet burlesque dancer. She joined the stupid dervy teeam because she had nothing better to do and no friends and she wanted men to stare at her."

man this picture is awesome:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kmcclai...7605185664193/

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 17th, 2009 12:12 PM

As soon as I saw it the zany sounds effects queued in my brain.

Tadao Jan 17th, 2009 01:41 PM

I remember when Roller Derby hit one of it's heights in the 80s, there was a crocodile pit in the middle of the roller rink.

Sam Jan 17th, 2009 02:56 PM

MURDERBALL

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 17th, 2009 03:29 PM

Next match up in my city is next saturday. I'll tell them to get a crocodile....or an alligator at least.

Team QCRG against the "Eh Team!" from Hamilton, ON.

Zomboid Jan 17th, 2009 05:42 PM

GO CANADA!

If they were from any other province, I could almost guarantee that there'd be at least one really beastly native chick on that team. Back me up on this, chimp.

Edited for sensitivity.

Big McLargehuge Jan 18th, 2009 11:25 AM

all the racists in canada remind of all the racists in my home town. i quit a job once because every one there called navajos "wah wahs".

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 23rd, 2009 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big McLargehuge (Post 608465)
all the racists in canada remind of all the racists in my home town. i quit a job once because every one there called navajos "wah wahs".


My friend is 1/16th something or other and someone called him that. They got dealth with quickly.

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 14th, 2009 01:06 PM

Came up with an awesome derby name in this dream I had.

Kmuckleberry Fin

Or Will He Wonk Her

Jeanette X Mar 15th, 2009 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big McLargehuge (Post 605452)
ROLLER DERBY GIRLS ARE SUPER HOT

You might enjoy this then:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Y4WhBA4KG4
:rock

Chojin Mar 24th, 2009 04:24 PM

Going to roller derby is the lesbian equivalent of asking someone out for coffee.

Hope this helps!

Kitsa Mar 30th, 2009 09:23 AM

I don't even get why someone would call a Navajo a wah-wah.

Is it like a 50s-tv war-whoop reference?

kahljorn Mar 31st, 2009 09:23 PM

Yea i think its that thing where you hold your hand over your mouth and remove it then put it t here again and then remove it again while going, "WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH"

but that sounds more like, "WO WO WO WO WO WO WO"

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 31st, 2009 10:09 PM

Martian girl from Planet V

Will you marry me?

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 622720)
"WO WO WO WO "

She came from outer space

She came to see

If Earth was good

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 622720)
"WO WO WO WO WO "


Zomboid Apr 1st, 2009 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 609347)
My friend is 1/16th something or other and someone called him that. They got dealth with quickly.

Huh? Is that a joke? Someone with a small percentage of Aboriginal ancestry gets in DEAL WIT DEM mode because someone tossed out a (relatively minor, inoffensive, and stupid) racial slur? That's fucking ludicrous, but pretty typical of a lot of Americans, from what I've seen and heard.

There's a shitload of Canadians that have enough enough Aboriginal ancestry to get the Metis status and benefits (myself included, if I ever felt like doing it), but they don't fly off the handle when people make insensitive comments. Unless you're just fighting the ignorance aspect of the racial slurs, getting super offended and pissed off because someone insults a fraction of your bloodline is one of the dumbest and most self-righteous things you can do.

And as an aside - I highly doubt that many Americans have much experience with anything "Native American" outside of the proud, strong, warrior shit that they see on TV. Any community in the prairie provinces here is likely to have at least one reserve nearby (my town had about 3), so growing up with them as your peers instead of some kind of abstract idea that serves as a hot-button issue for self-righteous douchebags is definitely a good thing. You get way more overtly racist rednecks than you'd like to deal with, but that's just as disgusting as the people that pretend to have any knowledge of the topic they're getting so upset about.

Tadao Apr 1st, 2009 05:46 PM

There a like two kinds on American Indians. One is a lazy drunk who gets money handed to him and cries about how his peoples heritage is being destroyed by the white man.

Then there are the others who build schools and try to teach the children about things like respect for ones surroundings.


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