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-   -   Roller derby girls are super hot :p (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69701392)

kahljorn Jan 14th, 2009 05:06 AM

yea that was the only thing i didn't get for christmas beat by giants

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 14th, 2009 12:00 PM

Good looking


Not good looking but hilarious



I would love to be a roller derby ref just so I could tell people my name is Gorilla McGillicutty.

Big McLargehuge Jan 14th, 2009 02:23 PM


Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 607835)
yea that was the only thing i didn't get for christmas beat by giants

i should introduce you to Knockka Ho' Down

Tadao Jan 14th, 2009 02:29 PM

Grislygus Jan 14th, 2009 03:08 PM


Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 607820)
Here's your beautiful tuscon roller derby girls.

I looked at all the girl's on that page and only one of them could pass for a woman. And they all look like somebodies mother. Or grandmother. So far odds aren't in your favor.

Hahahaha I finally look at this thread and kahl zeroes in on the exact pic I planned to make fun of

That thing has a dick, I promise you

kahljorn Jan 14th, 2009 04:58 PM

:lol, did you read her profile? it's fucking amazing.

Grislygus Jan 14th, 2009 05:05 PM

Not only do I believe it is heavily based on real events, I propose that the only differences between the profile biography and her real biography is omissions of childhood sodomy and the more boring details of coming to terms with its identity as a "transgendered individual"

kahljorn Jan 14th, 2009 06:07 PM

i like how one second in the story she's doing manual labor at a copper mine in lieu of jail time and the next she was skating off to tucson. I didn't know they let you roam around freely at labor camps.


MattJack Jan 16th, 2009 04:35 PM

Houston has em too! Maybe I can roller skate on over and pick me up some ladies.




Signature Move: The K.O. Hip Check. The streets around the Moulin Rouge can be dangerous for a girl after hours. Not wanting to touch potential attackers, Van Damage uses her hips to knock out her opponents on the track.
Werk them hips gurl

kahljorn Jan 17th, 2009 11:58 AM

what the fuck is wrong with roller derby girls, were they raised by the internet or something? Every profile i read is like, "HER LIFE WAS SO HARD AND SHE WAS GANGSTA SINCE AGE NINE DONT FUCKING FUCK WITH THIS MAD CAT KAZOO OR SHELL FIX HER THIGHS ON YOUR FACE"


She made friends with a burlesque dancer/double agent spy named Mata Scari. The two reeked havoc in the suburbs while masquerading as housewives. They were thrown out of the local sewing circle due to their crude language, strange tastes in clothes, and their desire to skate until the death.
Why can't they just say shit like, "Ms. Treatment is an ex-liberal arts major who dropped out of real school to pursue a life as a professional secretary and part-time internet burlesque dancer. She joined the stupid dervy teeam because she had nothing better to do and no friends and she wanted men to stare at her."

man this picture is awesome:

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 17th, 2009 12:12 PM

As soon as I saw it the zany sounds effects queued in my brain.

Tadao Jan 17th, 2009 01:41 PM

I remember when Roller Derby hit one of it's heights in the 80s, there was a crocodile pit in the middle of the roller rink.

Sam Jan 17th, 2009 02:56 PM


10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 17th, 2009 03:29 PM

Next match up in my city is next saturday. I'll tell them to get a crocodile....or an alligator at least.

Team QCRG against the "Eh Team!" from Hamilton, ON.

Zomboid Jan 17th, 2009 05:42 PM


If they were from any other province, I could almost guarantee that there'd be at least one really beastly native chick on that team. Back me up on this, chimp.

Edited for sensitivity.

Big McLargehuge Jan 18th, 2009 11:25 AM

all the racists in canada remind of all the racists in my home town. i quit a job once because every one there called navajos "wah wahs".

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 23rd, 2009 09:59 PM


Originally Posted by Big McLargehuge (Post 608465)
all the racists in canada remind of all the racists in my home town. i quit a job once because every one there called navajos "wah wahs".

My friend is 1/16th something or other and someone called him that. They got dealth with quickly.

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 14th, 2009 01:06 PM

Came up with an awesome derby name in this dream I had.

Kmuckleberry Fin

Or Will He Wonk Her

Jeanette X Mar 15th, 2009 12:49 AM


Originally Posted by Big McLargehuge (Post 605452)

You might enjoy this then:

Chojin Mar 24th, 2009 04:24 PM

Going to roller derby is the lesbian equivalent of asking someone out for coffee.

Hope this helps!

Kitsa Mar 30th, 2009 09:23 AM

I don't even get why someone would call a Navajo a wah-wah.

Is it like a 50s-tv war-whoop reference?

kahljorn Mar 31st, 2009 09:23 PM

Yea i think its that thing where you hold your hand over your mouth and remove it then put it t here again and then remove it again while going, "WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH"

but that sounds more like, "WO WO WO WO WO WO WO"

10,000 Volt Ghost Mar 31st, 2009 10:09 PM

Martian girl from Planet V

Will you marry me?


Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 622720)

She came from outer space

She came to see

If Earth was good


Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 622720)

Zomboid Apr 1st, 2009 05:07 PM


Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 609347)
My friend is 1/16th something or other and someone called him that. They got dealth with quickly.

Huh? Is that a joke? Someone with a small percentage of Aboriginal ancestry gets in DEAL WIT DEM mode because someone tossed out a (relatively minor, inoffensive, and stupid) racial slur? That's fucking ludicrous, but pretty typical of a lot of Americans, from what I've seen and heard.

There's a shitload of Canadians that have enough enough Aboriginal ancestry to get the Metis status and benefits (myself included, if I ever felt like doing it), but they don't fly off the handle when people make insensitive comments. Unless you're just fighting the ignorance aspect of the racial slurs, getting super offended and pissed off because someone insults a fraction of your bloodline is one of the dumbest and most self-righteous things you can do.

And as an aside - I highly doubt that many Americans have much experience with anything "Native American" outside of the proud, strong, warrior shit that they see on TV. Any community in the prairie provinces here is likely to have at least one reserve nearby (my town had about 3), so growing up with them as your peers instead of some kind of abstract idea that serves as a hot-button issue for self-righteous douchebags is definitely a good thing. You get way more overtly racist rednecks than you'd like to deal with, but that's just as disgusting as the people that pretend to have any knowledge of the topic they're getting so upset about.

Tadao Apr 1st, 2009 05:46 PM

There a like two kinds on American Indians. One is a lazy drunk who gets money handed to him and cries about how his peoples heritage is being destroyed by the white man.

Then there are the others who build schools and try to teach the children about things like respect for ones surroundings.

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