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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Kitsa Jun 29th, 2010 07:21 PM

:pagebrak


Weird thing is, I'm sure I saw some documentary about legalized Australian prostitution (???)

captain516 Jun 29th, 2010 09:59 PM

Im in Argentina, biiiiiitches

Zhukov Jun 29th, 2010 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 690642)

Weird thing is, I'm sure I saw some documentary about legalized Australian prostitution (???)

Not in TAS, SA, WA, or NT. i.e: the retarded states.
Quote:

Originally Posted by captain516 (Post 690647)
Im in Argentina, biiiiiitches

Really? Cool. Pictures.

Kitsa Jun 30th, 2010 09:59 AM

Went to the Cheesecake Factory yesterday. The blonde chick on their website talks to you.

Zhukov Jun 30th, 2010 11:37 AM

Cheesecake is probably one of my most favourite things in the world. Communism, sex, cheesecake... I don't want to put them in order but that's the top three that I can think of. So when I saw the link to the cheesecake FACTORY I immediately clicked it.


Within seconds of hearing that womans voice I closed the window.

elx Jun 30th, 2010 11:43 AM

cheese cake factory is great if you like cheese cake and half cooked spaghetti noodles :(


I WISH GROWNUPS COULD ORDER OFF THE KIDS MENU :(

Zhukov Jun 30th, 2010 11:45 AM

Why don't you just order it for them?

elx Jun 30th, 2010 11:50 AM

IF WE HAD MATH TUDOR THRAD I COULD JUSTIFY SPOENDING MORE TIME HERE MAY-B

Dimnos Jun 30th, 2010 11:52 AM

Spoending? At your age? Wow you kids really do grow up fast these days. :\

Kitsa Jun 30th, 2010 11:53 AM

I warned you about her voice, zhukov :(

They have excellent cheesecake, although the portion size is out of control and they add some completely unnecessary whipped cream alongside the slice. I like their tamale cakes, which are presented in a sort of little cornhusk boat, but I figured out how to make them myself (and better, if I do say) so I don't go as often now.

They also load their food with MSG and you walk out of there with a heart thudding at odd patterns because of it.

Also, their bathroom layout sucks and I took a hard metal doorknob directly to the small of the back, with some force, as I was trying to change my daughter's diaper on the changing table. The person coming in didn't know the changing table was right behind the door, of course. I noted that in the survey (they bribe you to do surveys...they'll give you a $10 giftcard for completing a questionnaire about your visit).

Zhukov Jun 30th, 2010 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa
I warned you about her voice, zhukov

You didn't warn me about her voice! You said a woman would talk to me! Add that to the promise of looking at pictures of cheesecake and I was almost losing my fingers with the speed of clickage. If you had said she was wearing a ushanka I would have had to travel through time to click any quicker.

Oh, and why the fuck would you put MSG in cheesecake? What the hell?

Esuohlim Jun 30th, 2010 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 690677)
IF WE HAD MATH TUDOR THRAD I COULD JUSTIFY SPOENDING MORE TIME HERE MAY-B

Math tutor thread? You and GW both? What's wrong with kids today >:

Dimnos Jun 30th, 2010 03:15 PM

I was guessing she wanted to tutor GW in a math thread.

Otto Jun 30th, 2010 03:16 PM

A homeless man kept following me yesterday, begging for cigarettes. I ended up throwing a whole pack at him and running away. I swear to god I saw bugs moving around in the guy's beard.

Babs Jun 30th, 2010 04:16 PM

Looking in the back of your text books for the answers and telling kids does not qualify you as a math tutor.

Kitsa Jun 30th, 2010 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 690681)
If you had said she was wearing a ushanka I would have had to travel through time to click any quicker.

Oh, and why the fuck would you put MSG in cheesecake? What the hell?

I can arrange that, but I have to get back to my computer with the photoshop.

I don't know that the cheesecake has any MSG in it, but I know for sure that most of the food does.

elx Jun 30th, 2010 04:41 PM

perhaps i just wanted to chillax in a thread with nerds talking about math since that's all i do everyday anyway >:

Guitar Woman Jun 30th, 2010 04:44 PM

I use algebra all the time to calculate drug doses

therefore algebra should cease to be taught in schools because it promotes illegal behavior

Dimnos Jun 30th, 2010 04:44 PM

Come on. Tell the truth. You want GW because you think you can change him with the ways of math.

elx Jun 30th, 2010 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 690701)
I use algebra all the time to calculate drug doses

d00d if you suck at math you prob. shouldn't do that :lol

Esuohlim Jun 30th, 2010 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 690700)
perhaps i just wanted to chillax in a thread with nerds talking about math since that's all i do everyday anyway >:

We can do that here, kiddo!

How do you feel about using the Gram-Schmidt method? Personally, I think orthonormaliziation is a waste of time!

And don't get me started on Laplace transforms >:

You fucking nerds >: >:

Guitar Woman Jun 30th, 2010 04:50 PM

well, I'm good at algebra until about chapter five in the book

Esuohlim Jun 30th, 2010 04:55 PM

Algebra is for 11-year-olds

elx Jun 30th, 2010 04:55 PM

if you have placement testing you can just take the algebra subject one over and over again until you randomly end up with a score high enough to bypass the course entirely.

(thats what im doing with driving)

Kitsa Jun 30th, 2010 04:58 PM

I always regarded algebra as an indicator of roughly how much bullshit you were willing to put up with in order to get what you want.

Which is basically how I looked at undergraduate study in general.

Dimnos Jun 30th, 2010 05:14 PM

:pagebrak


Wow. That is EXACTLY how I look at English classes. :lol



Unrelated...

Spoilers!

The Leader Jun 30th, 2010 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dimnos (Post 690710)
Wow. That is EXACTLY how I look at English classes. :lol

We can tell.

Tadao Jun 30th, 2010 06:11 PM

THE DR SAID I HAVE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND GAVE ME PILLS. FUCK YOU FAGHOLES TO HELL.

Tadao Jun 30th, 2010 06:12 PM

I SHOULD HAVE PUT THAT IN THE SCIENCE AND HEALTH THREAD. FUCK.

Dimnos Jun 30th, 2010 06:13 PM

You should probably get out and run more T. :\

Dimnos Jun 30th, 2010 06:14 PM

Im sorry. That was wrong. :(

Tadao Jun 30th, 2010 06:47 PM

All true :(

Shrubfest Jun 30th, 2010 07:06 PM

Lol.

Fathom Zero Jun 30th, 2010 09:43 PM

Savage, scourge, supply, and sanctify. So what?

Kitsa Jun 30th, 2010 10:11 PM

I was in my neuro doctor's office yesterday and they asked what exercise I was getting, which is a wtf question because I'm in roughly the same boat as Tadao. So I told them I did what I could....walked and swam.

Then, later, they told me I was doing too much and should take it easy.

I asked, what the hell? Am I supposed to exercise or am I supposed to take it easy?

:(

Kitsa Jun 30th, 2010 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 690699)
I can arrange that, but I have to get back to my computer with the photoshop.

I don't know that the cheesecake has any MSG in it, but I know for sure that most of the food does.


Here you go Zhukov, although it seems to fit her big head a bit snugly.



Tadao Jun 30th, 2010 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 690734)
I was in my neuro doctor's office yesterday and they asked what exercise I was getting, which is a wtf question because I'm in roughly the same boat as Tadao. So I told them I did what I could....walked and swam.

Then, later, they told me I was doing too much and should take it easy.

I asked, what the hell? Am I supposed to exercise or am I supposed to take it easy?

:(

Mines been trying to get me to swim forever, I finally had a sunburn to show him.

Esuohlim Jul 1st, 2010 12:36 AM

Sounds like your doctors are a couple of nappy-headed hos :lol

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Guitar Woman Jul 1st, 2010 01:23 AM

How do brown people get sunburns?

Dimnos Jul 1st, 2010 01:43 AM

Hes yellow.

elx Jul 1st, 2010 01:45 AM

oh, do they? i dated a mocha style boy and he could only get sunburn around his nipples...

Tadao Jul 1st, 2010 01:56 AM

Japs turn white when they stay out of the sun :(

Fathom Zero Jul 1st, 2010 02:16 AM

They do get sunburned.

Esuohlim Jul 1st, 2010 04:00 AM

I've become addicted to store-bought fresh salsa :( The kind that comes in the plastic containers, hell no to the jarred stuff.

Does anyone here make their own salsa? The only problem with store-bought is the sodium content (which isn't even that high anyway) but I figure homemade stuff probably tastes a lot better too.

I don't want any errant fluorine atoms creating reactions and poisoning my salsa >:

Grislygus Jul 1st, 2010 04:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 690543)
someone teach me how the fuck the Substitution Method works

Don't laugh, either, I'm a medically certified mathematical retard and finding it humorous makes you an insensitive bastard

i was always told that i had math "disabilities" by various child psychologists, psychiatrists, and school counselors

Then i got into college and discovered that math was fucking easy when you had decent teachers and hired a tutor that you got along with. THEN i discovered that only about one fifth of my fellow students could understand simple shit like logarithms and unreal numbers (even after having the subjects explained to them for an entire term), which has further confirmed my suspicion that child psychiatrists and their ilk are incompetent moneygrubbing drama queens

Esuohlim Jul 1st, 2010 04:07 AM

Hey Gus, four posts since June 12. Let's step it up a little >:

Fathom Zero Jul 1st, 2010 04:11 AM

It really does take good teachers. Math's as easy for me to learn as English was when I was a kid, it just needs to be taught properly.

That said, there's a reason why I'm an English major.

Grislygus Jul 1st, 2010 04:16 AM

seriously, what the fuck kind of ingrate perscribes heavy pill cocktails to an eight year old based on GUESSWORK

"well, you see, we have this list full of symptoms, and your son has quite a few of them... not enough for any ACTUAL diagnosese, no, but since he's having trouble in school it's pretty clear to me that your son has ADD, various mood disorders, and based on his family history we're going to figure that he has manic depression, too. Oh, he doesn't have manic depression? You're wrong, the problem's probably just exhibiting itself in subtle ways that you're just too dense to notice. Now, we're going to mix and match various heavy medications to SEE IF THEY WORK, just in case. Take this chart home, and start making immediate notes if he begins acting abnormally or abruptly develops severe anger problems"

Grislygus Jul 1st, 2010 04:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 690756)
Hey Gus, four posts since June 12. Let's step it up a little >:

I'm working, going to school, and getting laid on a regular basis again. IT'S TOUGH, OKAY? I'M TRYING. NONE OF YOU UNDERSTAND ME, I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN I'm going to run to my room and SLAM MY DOOR, DON'T TRY TO STOP ME

Esuohlim Jul 1st, 2010 04:28 AM

I learned more math teaching myself from the book than I ever learned from all my shitty teachers and professors.

I mean, really GW, just literally rewrite the practice problems step by step. Once you've rewritten it, try doing the same practice problem again but just change one or two of the numbers. Then find the similar homework problems and follow the same steps. When it comes to math problems any idiot can learn and retain new shit by repeating problems over and over again until you can do the steps to the problem without thinking about it. It'll be tedious, but when it's time to take the test it should just be second nature by then.

Guitar Woman Jul 1st, 2010 04:28 AM

Good news, I figured out how to do it while on speed like four hours ago

which reinforces my belief that everyone I've ever met has lied to me about drugs being bad for you

Esuohlim Jul 1st, 2010 04:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 690759)
I'm working, going to school, and getting laid on a regular basis again. IT'S TOUGH, OKAY? I'M TRYING. NONE OF YOU UNDERSTAND ME, I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN I'm going to run to my room and SLAM MY DOOR, DON'T TRY TO STOP ME

I'm sorry I snapped at you Gus you know you're the chiseled-from-stone adonis that I hopelessly aspire to be one day

Grislygus Jul 1st, 2010 04:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 690577)
You know, you might not be as big an idiot as you think. My mechanical engineer father and I were both trying to help Mr. Kitsa finish his only required semester of college Algebra a couple of years ago, and it was pretty wacky. They were doing some weird left-field shit that was making our heads spin. I don't know what crack they were smoking when they wrote his algebra text, but it may have been the same book you had.

We were all cocky about it, too, it was like OH YEAH PICK ALGEBRA THAT'S EASY, WE'LL HELP YOU.

It didn't help that that particular course was an online version and the instructor wanted you to "show your work" in some sort of absolutely fucked online fill-in-the-blank format that broke half the time and didn't fit your answers the other half.

man, online courses are only taught by broken, lazy, half-suicidal freak geeks that have no idea what they're doing because they constantly have recurring migraines from when their college fraternity brothers used to constantly trick them into smoking a mix of hemp, nutmeg, mothballs, banana peels, and instant concrete

Guitar Woman Jul 1st, 2010 04:34 AM

Mine's an online course, I've figured everything out without the textbook, I get unlimited tries on questions so I can never ever get anything but 100% on homework assignments, all of the homework can be done months before the due date and most of my stuff wasn't due a good two weeks until after the course started, and I've spent all my time on the class sitting around, listening to the misfits, eating potato chips, and drinking beer

I am never, ever taking an offline math course again

Grislygus Jul 1st, 2010 04:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 690703)
d00d if you suck at math you prob. shouldn't do that

jesus fucking christ this got me laughing so hard

Grislygus Jul 1st, 2010 04:55 AM

so, anyway, serious question time. what's a good way to gently indicate to your girlfriend that it would be nice if she could find some way to not have her vagina reek of incredibly pungeant piss because seriously it is at an inexplicable level and I just can't get my face near that again

i'm talking rotten asparagus here, this is not a joke and i need advice from the lady folk as to how to diplomatically approach this potentially embarrassing revelation because I am blunt

Guitar Woman Jul 1st, 2010 05:15 AM

Put plain yogurt on your penis. It will kill the odor-causing bacteria.

Trust me.

elx Jul 1st, 2010 06:11 AM


why is this song so addictive :(

Zhukov Jul 1st, 2010 06:22 AM

I was about to scoff and say it wasn't, but I sat there and watched the whole video, even though you hear it everyday on TV, so I guess it is :(

Zhukov Jul 1st, 2010 09:33 AM

I bought two of these:



And one of these:



The speakers (or monitors as we in the biz refer to them as :\), KRK RP 06s, are great, and they also kill all insects within a ten meter radius when the bass is turned up.

The camera, Nikon D5000, is also great, and I got it for a great price. Unfortunately I wont be able to take the 200mm lens on my next overseas journey, since the particular country only allows lenses up to 150mm. Great.

Fathom Zero Jul 1st, 2010 12:10 PM

Happy Birthday, Emu

Dimnos Jul 1st, 2010 12:10 PM

I didnt think they let any cameras in there. :confused:

Kitsa Jul 1st, 2010 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 690766)
so, anyway, serious question time. what's a good way to gently indicate to your girlfriend that it would be nice if she could find some way to not have her vagina reek of incredibly pungeant piss because seriously it is at an inexplicable level and I just can't get my face near that again

i'm talking rotten asparagus here, this is not a joke and i need advice from the lady folk as to how to diplomatically approach this potentially embarrassing revelation because I am blunt


Is GW still pretending to be a ladyfolk?

Anyway.

Shower together and call it foreplay. You can put an amorous spin on making sure she's well-scrubbed in the nether regions. This is also an excellent opportunity for you to make sure you don't smell like sweaty ballsack.

Tadao Jul 1st, 2010 06:00 PM

Maybe next time you'll smell your finger first.

Babs Jul 1st, 2010 10:08 PM

Nice monitors Zhukov, I wanted to get the same kind you have but I'm running on an extremely tight budget right now.

kahljorn Jul 2nd, 2010 04:25 AM

BLACKNESS IS AN ALL NATURAL SUNBLOCK

THE bLACKER THE HIGHER THE SPF

Esuohlim Jul 2nd, 2010 05:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 690780)
Happy Birthday, Emu

:(

Fathom Zero Jul 2nd, 2010 05:24 AM

I knew I wasn't gonna get much with that.

Kitsa Jul 2nd, 2010 08:52 AM

I didn't see it. Happy Birthday, Emu!

Chojin Jul 2nd, 2010 11:24 AM

zhukov - cool speakers bro, i use the 5s as computer speakers

Colonel Flagg Jul 2nd, 2010 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 690833)
I knew I wasn't gonna get much with that.

Doesn't he rate a new thread? :(

Happy birthday anyway, Emu. Knock your socks off ... :)

Zhukov Jul 2nd, 2010 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 690841)
zhukov - cool speakers bro, i use the 5s as computer speakers

Redneck metal never sounded so good, I bet. What input are you using (RCA, XLR, TRS)? I've been told that RCA doesn't do it justice, but it still sounds great to me

These things are raw power, I tell you what. I went out looking for 5s but I got the display model 6s from my local record store for a hundred cheaper, so there you go.

Pentegarn Jul 2nd, 2010 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 690786)
Is GW still pretending to be a ladyfolk?

Anyway.

Shower together and call it foreplay. You can put an amorous spin on making sure she's well-scrubbed in the nether regions. This is also an excellent opportunity for you to make sure you don't smell like sweaty ballsack.

I have used this technique before. It can be effective

Kitsa Jul 3rd, 2010 03:10 AM

I just got back from a fireworks acquisition mission to the middle of nowhere. All legal, but some stuff friends bought is pretty crazy.

Grislygus Jul 3rd, 2010 05:00 AM

fireworks pics and details, if they are as crazy as you say

shower idea is a go

ElPila666 Jul 3rd, 2010 05:09 AM

Che Guevara was not an asshole >:(

Supafly345 Jul 3rd, 2010 06:23 AM

Its a quote obviously for the purposes of humor, or were you too high to notice, hippie.

Zhukov Jul 3rd, 2010 08:10 AM

Don't worry my possibly Columbian friend, Kitsa is on our side.

Kitsa Jul 3rd, 2010 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 690923)
fireworks pics and details, if they are as crazy as you say

shower idea is a go


The majority of the fireworks are for a party tonight that promises to be insane. A few guys go together and buy roughly $1000 worth of stuff...really, more than that because they know the owner and he basically just throws shit into their cart. We went for a "finishing touches" run last night and I think retail was several hundred dollars.

I will take photos. The owner just picks up a huge package marked $750 or something crazy like that, and says "Have you seen these? Here, light it off in the parking lot, see what it does." It's in a warehouse in the middle of nowhere, but still.

It was funny because he was running around in front of customers, going, "Not this, that's shit....here, this one...not that one, that's all packaging..."



ps- let me know how the shower thing works out...I may or may not have used this technique myself.

Kitsa Jul 3rd, 2010 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElPila666 (Post 690925)
Che Guevara was not an asshole >:(

I think that as a medical student in Argentina he was relatively well-intentioned. So was Ulrike Meinhof, for that matter. However, by the time he got to Cuba, I think it would not be unreasonable to say that he had become a bit asshole-ish.

However, the quote is from this:


10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 3rd, 2010 03:45 PM

Happy Birthday Italian Stereotype. I hope you are fistbumping like a champ.

RaNkeri Jul 3rd, 2010 05:42 PM

!haey kcuf, eciv imaim

RaNkeri Jul 3rd, 2010 06:14 PM



you you you you you you you you you you you

Esuohlim Jul 4th, 2010 03:05 AM

I'VE BEEN SO BORED AS OF LATE I'VE BEEN USING STRIPCREATOR :(

Esuohlim Jul 4th, 2010 03:06 AM

My favorite random comic I found is a heartfelt and poetic number called "Our Family Reunion" http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/Lille/498858/

Grislygus Jul 4th, 2010 05:38 AM

angel of mercy angel delight, give me.my. reward in heaven tonight

Grislygus Jul 4th, 2010 05:41 AM

lady writer on the tv

she kne w all about her histor


y yuo could hardly write your name

something something just the same

Grislygus Jul 4th, 2010 05:43 AM

way down douth

way down south

london town

Grislygus Jul 4th, 2010 05:47 AM

check out guitar george

he knows

all the chords

Grislygus Jul 4th, 2010 05:49 AM

he dont wanna make it cry or sing

Esuohlim Jul 4th, 2010 05:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElPila666 (Post 690925)
Che Guevara was not an asshole >:(

Untrue

RaNkeri Jul 4th, 2010 06:13 AM

you you you you you you you you you you you you you

Esuohlim Jul 4th, 2010 06:15 AM

Sorry Gus but you're banned until morning. It's 5:10am and I don't want to clean up your strewn-about-the-forums drunk posting right now >:

Fathom Zero Jul 4th, 2010 06:16 AM

Hey ya heeeeeeyyyyy yaahhhhh

Kitsa Jul 4th, 2010 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 690923)
fireworks pics and details, if they are as crazy as you say



Giant wheel of 32,000 firecrackers...




Stretched the length of the yard several times over in long strips....took about 7 minutes total when lit in several places with a blowtorch. Red paper was flying and there was a pretty thick haze in the air.


Zhukov Jul 4th, 2010 10:45 AM

probably attracted any Chinese people in the vicinity, too.


That is awesome. Do we get to see them explode?

Kitsa Jul 4th, 2010 11:22 AM

ummm....I know I had to cut the video off early and didn't get all of them because my battery was crapping out on me. Let me see if I can get a still.

The fireworks went on for a good 2.5-3 hours, counting little pauses for setup inbetween.


Edit:


Each string of firecrackers (each length of the yard) took about 1 minute and 57 seconds of straight bangbangbangbang. I timed it with a stopwatch.

There was all kinds of ash-fallout and hot embers raining down and I hid under the deck. Here's my view:



Imagine that for about 3 hours nonstop.




:america

Zhukov Jul 4th, 2010 11:38 AM

3 hours is a shirtload of fireworks. That is really cool.



I miss fireworks :(

Kitsa Jul 4th, 2010 12:47 PM

do they not allow fireworks in tizz-my-nia?

Mr. Kitsa had a video, but I googled his info because I KNOW WHAT YOU JERKS DO HERE and I decided that no, I would not be making his information accessible :(

Guitar Woman Jul 4th, 2010 06:30 PM

Be a real man this 4th; play baseball with mortar tube rounds.


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