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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Tadao Aug 25th, 2010 07:18 PM



You're full of shit!

Kitsa Aug 25th, 2010 07:19 PM


Babs Aug 25th, 2010 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 696437)
Our neighbor is shaving another neighbor's back hair in their driveway with dog clippers.

I just thought you all should know.

Portsmouth?

Kitsa Aug 25th, 2010 07:21 PM

no, but I can see how you might think that.

Pentegarn Aug 26th, 2010 01:11 AM

I would have guessed Grove City from that description

Esuohlim Aug 26th, 2010 05:35 AM

WHY DID NOBODY POST TODAY?

WAS IT NICE OUTSIDE YOU PUSSIES

Guitar Woman Aug 26th, 2010 06:02 AM

Quote:

if you like cigars, i just KNOW you'll go on and on about some mediocre crap like romeo and juliets (except actually referring to them as ROMEO Y JULIETTA) until you discover Punch and Arturo Fuentes and think that no one else knows about "your" two new brands
I tried RyJ Chruchills a few times, vaguely on a recommendation of Sethomas, but they actually suck donkey balls and taste like when I squeeze the tobacco out of my ashtray butts and smoke it in a pipe when I'm shitbroke.

Of course, at the time I had not yet picked up actual, manly smoking with ultra-tasty brands such as Spirit Periques and Lucky Strikes which pretty much nobody on earth knew about before I talked about them on an internet forum, stating that I discovered both on my own, with possible help from god and jesus because they know that I am just the fucking best ever. In fact, neither brand actually existed until I bought packs of them, and I convinced god to bring them into tangible being from the ether so fucking hard that he ret-conned the American forces in World War II having Luckies rationed to them. IN FACT, you can just shut your fucking face with the holier-than-thou complaining, Girlygus, because I fucking invented every single thing I like in the exact same way. If you persist, you will find yourself being all "Ahh Guitar Woman please do not continue beating me in the face as you are currently doing"

So, yeah, I may have previously said something about cigars not being shit. Disregard that.

All of the other kinds of cigars I've tried end up tasting the same way half-rotten eggs smell. Plus they last for like, 5 fucking hours, so I either have to sit around in freezing Oregon weather puffing my shitty stupid butt cigar the entire time with fuck all else to do except contemplate the sidewalk, or keep putting it out over and over again, which makes it taste even shittier

It's an ultra n*gger thing to smoke cigars. Don't smoke cigars.

10,000 Volt Ghost Aug 26th, 2010 11:27 AM

Smoking a Swisher Sweet.

Fathom Zero Aug 26th, 2010 11:51 AM

Ewww

Esuohlim Aug 26th, 2010 03:11 PM

Jesus christ, Sally Field is pretty hot for 63 :x :x :x

Chojin Aug 26th, 2010 03:21 PM



mentlegents

Babs Aug 26th, 2010 04:47 PM

Is that a menthol clove? :confused:

Double the nasty

Fathom Zero Aug 26th, 2010 08:52 PM

Alex Gray is a really shitty artist.

Esuohlim Aug 27th, 2010 04:45 PM

Marv from Home Alone, fuck yeah

elx Aug 27th, 2010 05:12 PM

stupid operamini h8s imock :@

kahljorn Aug 27th, 2010 07:41 PM

OMG at&t must hire ONLY idiots.

So yesterday this fucking at&t idiot comes out while i'm getting ready for school and I'm like, "HEY IM goNNA CHECK THIS THING ON THE INTARWEBS" and i get, "YOUR MODEM CANNOT CONNECT TO THE INTARWEBS." Apparently the dude is doing some work downstairs or some shit. so anyway since im like literally about to leave my girlfriend goes to talk to him, and he says, "I BARELY TOUCHED ANYTHING"
and then said, "SORRY" in the most annoying "IM A STUPID FUCK VOICE" ever.

so today ANOTHER dude comes out to look at it, but i was sleeping. And apparently its IMPOSSIBLe FOR HIM to FIX It WIThOUT COMING INSIDe mY HOUSE.
FUCKING RIDICULOUS. So they say, "WAIT TILL TOMORRW" WAIT TWO DAYS FOR SOME SHIT SOME IDIOT BROKE NO! I DONT LIKE PEOPLE PLAYIN ON MY PHONES!
Anyway, that was stupid to me because i could tell the wiring had nothing to do with the wiring in the house. Cause the wiring phone plug downstairs didnt work which must've meant the wiring leading up to THAT downstairs was broken. Low and behold, there are two phone boxes downstairs for my place. One where it didn't work, and one where it did. The one that worked came FIRST in the progression of wiring. WHAT DOes THAT LEAD ANY INTELLIGENT PERSON TO BELIEVE? MAYBE THAT THE PROBLEM IS IN BETWEEN THE FIRST BOX AND THE SECOND BOX?
NO THAT YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO GET INTO THE HOUSE.

anyway I ended up fixing it myself and it took 3 minutes of non-stupidity. And also I'm pretty sure the first dude who "BAReLY TOUched iT" and is "SORRY" tried to steal my internet cause thw wiring which should've been going from the first box to the second box (like all the other wiring, since they actually are SUPPOSed TO SHARE the same wiring but for some reason DIDNT) was instead going from some standalone wire that only plugged into my ( first) box through the wall to the store downstairs when it should've gone to other box like the other wiring that was right next to it. ;/

FUCK THEM. IS IT REASONABLE TO TRY TO GET THE FIRST GU YFIRED?
CAUSE THATS WHAT I WANT TO DO. THAT OR FIND HIM AND BEAT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF HIM FOR SAYIN SORRY TO MY GIRLFRienD iN SUCH AN ANNoyiNG WAY AFTER BREAKINg MY SHIt.

elx Aug 27th, 2010 09:51 PM

goodluck trying to get anyone fired! you'll call and they'll just put you on hold and transfer you off to someone in india who asks you to spell out every letter individually because they can't understand what you're saying :rolleyes

kahljorn Aug 27th, 2010 10:03 PM

yea :(

that's what happened yesterday when i tried to get someone out there to fix our shit. HERES OUR CONVERSATION:

"HELLO WHAT IS THE PHONE NUMBER ON YOUR ACCOUNT"
"661 5555555"
"okay thats 611 5555555"
"no its 6 6 1 5555555"
"okay 6 6 1 555 5550"

i feel trolled :(
then he tells me i need to talk to a different department :(

so my girlfriend calls, and i shit you not here is their conversation:
"HELLO WHAT IS THE PHONE NUMBER ON YOUR ACCOUNT"
"661 555 5555"
"okay thats 611 555 5555"

:(

Colonel Flagg Aug 27th, 2010 11:09 PM

I feel your pain. The cable monopoly in our area came out 5 - count 'em - 5 times to install two new outlets in our home. How many cable guys does it take ..... it's not funny when it really happens.

:(

Kitsa Aug 28th, 2010 08:00 AM

We're in an ongoing dispute with our cable company. We signed a contract in which we get basically every service they offer except phone for $99/month...and that was a deal brought up by THEM after we'd been customers for years and threatened to change companies because of their exorbitant price structure. The $99 contract doesn't stop them from regularly sending us bills for $250 and upwards. We call and complain, they send us a new bill for even more, we send them a copy of the new pricing agreement and a check for $99, and we get random $150 "credits" to our account. This pretty much happens every month.

10,000 Volt Ghost Aug 28th, 2010 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 696573)
yea :(

that's what happened yesterday when i tried to get someone out there to fix our shit. HERES OUR CONVERSATION:

"HELLO WHAT IS THE PHONE NUMBER ON YOUR ACCOUNT"
"661 5555555"
"okay thats 611 5555555"
"no its 6 6 1 5555555"
"okay 6 6 1 555 5550"

i feel trolled :(
then he tells me i need to talk to a different department :(

so my girlfriend calls, and i shit you not here is their conversation:
"HELLO WHAT IS THE PHONE NUMBER ON YOUR ACCOUNT"
"661 555 5555"
"okay thats 611 555 5555"

:(

This guy called in today and I asked him what his last name is and he's like "It's Mr. Snyunhuh." I'm like "I'm sorry, what is it?"

He's like "It's Mr. Snyunhuh." I'm like "Can you spell that?"

He's like "It's MR. S! M! I! T! H!!!! SNYUNHUH."

I'm like "Oh, Smith. I don't know how you could have said it wrong."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 696583)
I feel your pain. The cable monopoly in our area came out 5 - count 'em - 5 times to install two new outlets in our home. How many cable guys does it take ..... it's not funny when it really happens.

:(

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 696600)
We're in an ongoing dispute with our cable company. We signed a contract in which we get basically every service they offer except phone for $99/month...and that was a deal brought up by THEM after we'd been customers for years and threatened to change companies because of their exorbitant price structure. The $99 contract doesn't stop them from regularly sending us bills for $250 and upwards. We call and complain, they send us a new bill for even more, we send them a copy of the new pricing agreement and a check for $99, and we get random $150 "credits" to our account. This pretty much happens every month.


Time warner cable is terrible.

RaNkeri Aug 28th, 2010 06:12 PM

Awww yeah, Piranha 2 :rock

RaNkeri Aug 28th, 2010 06:48 PM

Never have sex while under water

Kitsa Aug 28th, 2010 10:15 PM

I had the luxury of poking around a thrift store today. I got some Hemingway first editions and a mint-condition Star Wars paperback by George Lucas (advertised on the cover as "The Movie of the Year!!!") for 29 cents each.

MarioRPG Aug 29th, 2010 12:09 AM

Hey i got back from FanExpo! :) It was an awesome time, I'll post some of the pictures somewhere here some time.

10,000 Volt Ghost Aug 29th, 2010 01:40 AM

WHAT'S THE TIME?

Fathom Zero Aug 29th, 2010 01:52 AM

TIME TO GET ILL

Pentegarn Aug 29th, 2010 07:29 AM

I must admit I would have went there had FZ not done so first

Fathom Zero Aug 29th, 2010 11:42 AM

I'd expect nothing less.

Fathom Zero Aug 29th, 2010 12:24 PM

http://audioporncentral.com/wp-conte...Gainsbourg.mp3

Fathom Zero Aug 29th, 2010 04:46 PM

I wouldn't piss on this guy if he was on fire.

Sam Aug 29th, 2010 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 696646)
WHAT'S THE TIME?

DIAPER TIME

Fathom Zero Aug 30th, 2010 04:44 AM

Don't turn the lights on. Tonight I WANT TO SEE YOU IN THE DARRRRK



Pumped for Chromeo's new album.

Kitsa Aug 30th, 2010 08:13 PM

Next time you have $50K to spare....

(NSFW unless you work in healthcare)

http://www.a3bs.com/ob-gyn/simone-bi...0_0_15153.html

Shrubfest Aug 30th, 2010 08:39 PM

Shit. Thanks for reminding me why I never want children.

Kitsa Aug 30th, 2010 09:21 PM

eh, by the end of it you're usually so worn out and pumped full of drugs you have no idea what's going on.

Sam Aug 30th, 2010 09:23 PM

Just like sex with me. ;)

Tadao Aug 30th, 2010 09:30 PM

My dicks way too big for that machine.

Pentegarn Aug 31st, 2010 07:10 AM

:lol

Kitsa Aug 31st, 2010 10:29 AM

You know there's some wealthy perv who wants to try it.

Tadao Aug 31st, 2010 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tanuki (Post 696719)
Comics, games, movies. Preferably games or comics, since I typically don't have the attention span to watch a whole movie and just sit there.

You also don't have the humor to review them here. :(

10,000 Volt Ghost Aug 31st, 2010 06:36 PM

Happy birthday LordSappington and Stonewar.

Tadao Aug 31st, 2010 07:16 PM

FUCK THOSE 2 FAGGOTS

Colonel Flagg Aug 31st, 2010 10:05 PM

Happy Sappy Day. And Stonewar, you stony war, you.

elx Sep 1st, 2010 02:15 AM

babysappyton? didnt he just turn 18? hows he 19 already?? :(

The Leader Sep 1st, 2010 09:41 AM

Don't worry, elx. I doubt that this will hurt your chances with him in any way.

elx Sep 1st, 2010 05:18 PM

no

Fathom Zero Sep 1st, 2010 10:48 PM

of course, ms. president

elx Sep 2nd, 2010 12:26 AM

i like your justice vinyl but the vampire weekend is just gross, man

elx Sep 2nd, 2010 12:31 AM

glitter skin and reindeer diets

elx Sep 2nd, 2010 12:32 AM

banana pods and melting pots

elx Sep 2nd, 2010 12:33 AM

how come it's only ever the same people posting in this thread and all of the cool people stay in the serious ones???

elx Sep 2nd, 2010 12:36 AM

oh they're all in art shiz

elx Sep 2nd, 2010 12:38 AM

wasnt there a fitness section?

Fathom Zero Sep 2nd, 2010 12:53 AM

There was a food forum a long time ago. I was very disappointed in management to see it go.

ElPila666 Sep 2nd, 2010 01:01 AM

:hypno

tostito chips, doritos, chester's cheese :hypno:hypno:hypno

ElPila666 Sep 2nd, 2010 01:41 AM

Viva le mosque! :lol

Fathom Zero Sep 2nd, 2010 04:01 AM

lol

Grislygus Sep 2nd, 2010 04:25 PM

DMANIT FATHOM, you DICK

now I'm gonna have that song stuck in my head all day



oh shit shesa gold digga

just thought you should KNOW NIGGA

Fathom Zero Sep 2nd, 2010 05:54 PM

I'm glad it won't be really popular on the radio, though. I don't want to end up hating it like Gnarls Barkley.

Babs Sep 3rd, 2010 02:15 AM

I-mockery's one month early halloween special. The only reason I come back for more.

Tadao Sep 3rd, 2010 02:24 AM

Well then we'll have to stop doing it.

Tadao Sep 3rd, 2010 02:38 AM

HEY ESU, SINCE I CAN'T COMMENT ON YOUR FB, I FLAGGED YOUR WB PIC. I HOPE YOU GET SUED.

Chojin Sep 3rd, 2010 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 696894)
wasnt there a fitness section?

Sports used to be Sports & Fitness, but I instead moved it over to Philo (now it's Philo, etc, etc, & health).

Reason being fitness and nutrition often go together and the only forum that cites sources is philo.

Kitsa Sep 3rd, 2010 11:12 PM

I'm sick, damn it.

Getting tired of this, I was sore and miserable enough without the fever and snot.

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 4th, 2010 04:52 PM

It's crazy dead all up in here.

Kitsa Sep 4th, 2010 07:42 PM

I went to a heritage festival today, which is like a ren faire but less delusional and pretentous.

Esuohlim Sep 4th, 2010 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 696995)
HEY ESU, SINCE I CAN'T COMMENT ON YOUR FB, I FLAGGED YOUR WB PIC. I HOPE YOU GET SUED.

You flagged my what now

Zhukov Sep 4th, 2010 09:20 PM

Father's day! Hope everyone has a father!

Kitsa Sep 4th, 2010 09:23 PM

Happy other-side-of-the-world father's day.

Tadao Sep 4th, 2010 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 697097)
You flagged my what now

You had some Warner Brothers pic. IDK, fuck you. :(

Pub Lover Sep 5th, 2010 08:56 AM

:whitepig

Esuohlim Sep 5th, 2010 01:51 PM

Dude I read somewhere that only one person died in that earthquake and it was heart-attack related :rolleyes

Tadao Sep 5th, 2010 03:35 PM

It's pubbles ghost :eek

Kitsa Sep 6th, 2010 12:34 AM


Zhukov Sep 6th, 2010 07:35 AM

At first I thought that was funny, then I thought "Well, it's just a helpful sign" then I jumped to "You don't need to advertise that you are out since we can see that you are!" and it was funny again.

But I've ended up knowing that if they hadn't put that sign there, people would come and ask them if there were any maps. Despite there not being any in the map holder.

It's still funny though.

Kitsa Sep 6th, 2010 09:36 AM

That's about the same progression I made.

Kitsa Sep 6th, 2010 10:32 AM

DAMMIT double post.

Fathom Zero Sep 7th, 2010 09:57 AM


Esuohlim Sep 7th, 2010 12:54 PM

So what did everyone do on BROKEN FORUMS LABOR DAY

Esuohlim Sep 7th, 2010 12:55 PM

Hit F5 all day, mang? Likewise

Tadao Sep 7th, 2010 01:17 PM

BBQ'ed

The Leader Sep 7th, 2010 01:23 PM

I read books for my classes so that I would not be behind. :(

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 7th, 2010 02:22 PM

I worked and WENT TO ANOTHER FORUM.

Mockery Sep 7th, 2010 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 697220)
So what did everyone do on BROKEN FORUMS LABOR DAY

I pool partied and sent countless emails to tech support all day. Still don't understand why it took them that long to get the server back up 'n running.

On the plus side, I'm planning on a major server upgrade in the very near future.

Kitsa Sep 7th, 2010 04:58 PM

I was getting over a cold and spent most of the day on the couch because I felt like crap. Doing better now.

Fathom Zero Sep 7th, 2010 06:58 PM



PARTY UP IN HERE

Pentegarn Sep 7th, 2010 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 697220)
So what did everyone do on BROKEN FORUMS LABOR DAY

I played DAoC, Dragonwarrior Land, and ate chili spaghetti

kahljorn Sep 7th, 2010 09:10 PM

Dark age of camelot? :O

executioneer Sep 7th, 2010 11:33 PM

got up to 33rd place on dr2c0 leaderbored

executioneer Sep 7th, 2010 11:34 PM

also i read a bunch of gamebooks by j.h. brennan (grailquest and demonspawn chronicles series)

executioneer Sep 7th, 2010 11:36 PM

also failed to sleep twice, and missed a dentist's appointment (i was only 10min late, and they made me reschedule. really. guys it is hard enough for me to get to these when you don't put a lot of draconian bullshit on them too)

Pentegarn Sep 8th, 2010 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 697267)
Dark age of camelot? :O

Yes I am one of the 500 who still play it

Dimnos Sep 8th, 2010 10:46 AM

I thought you were one of the 500 people who still play LotRO.

In other news: I get a free pass on work today due to typhoon like weather. :)

Tadao Sep 8th, 2010 05:54 PM

I'm officially divorced. Now none of you ladies can have me cause it's no longer as sinful.

kahljorn Sep 8th, 2010 06:11 PM

Quote:

Yes I am one of the 500 who still play it
Dang i was about to ask if there's still a lot of people playing it :( i've been wanting to play it again for a loooong time.

The Leader Sep 8th, 2010 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 697337)
I'm officially divorced. Now none of you ladies can have me cause it's no longer as sinful.

Congratulations! :)

Fathom Zero Sep 8th, 2010 06:27 PM

YAY TADOO


Esuohlim Sep 8th, 2010 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 697337)
I'm officially divorced. Now none of you ladies can have me cause it's no longer as sinful.

Divorce THIS

:pointstodick


Pub Lover Sep 8th, 2010 07:55 PM

I am friends with Chojin. :)


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