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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Esuohlim Sep 10th, 2011 12:44 AM

You should probably live in an apartment instead!

kahljorn Sep 10th, 2011 03:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer (Post 741331)
ok if i bundle the mb+processor i save $10, and if i bundle the case with a similar psu ($5 cheaper, same wattage) i get bundle savings of $15 plus the $5 cheaper so thats like $30 less? neat

edit: if i get the radeon i get deus ex free, wowza :eek

yea i just bought an expensive ass radeon to get the game for free :lol it was always like, "hey for 10 dollars more i can get this card! OR I CAN GET THIS ONE FOR 20 DOLLARS MOORE.. OR FOR FIFTYY DOLLARS I CAN GET LIKE ONE OF THE BEST CARDS OUT." then i went out and bought an xbox game. God I'm a sucker :(

http://www.newegg.com/Store/MasterCo...=DIY-PC-Combos

thats all of their complete bundles. you can also do what you were doing and just bundle everything yourself and get some savings. Most of the complete bundles you get like 50 dollars off + whatever rebates came with it

btw if you're planning on getting more than 3-4 gigs of ram you need 64 bit windows

Fathom Zero Sep 10th, 2011 11:11 AM

32-bit supports about 3.75

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 10th, 2011 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 741348)
yea i just bought an expensive ass radeon to get the game for free :lol it was always like, "hey for 10 dollars more i can get this card! OR I CAN GET THIS ONE FOR 20 DOLLARS MOORE.. OR FOR FIFTYY DOLLARS I CAN GET LIKE ONE OF THE BEST CARDS OUT." then i went out and bought an xbox game. God I'm a sucker :(

http://www.newegg.com/Store/MasterCo...=DIY-PC-Combos

thats all of their complete bundles. you can also do what you were doing and just bundle everything yourself and get some savings. Most of the complete bundles you get like 50 dollars off + whatever rebates came with it

btw if you're planning on getting more than 3-4 gigs of ram you need 64 bit windows

Yeah but at least you got a sweet game with a house of surprises.

MarioRPG Sep 10th, 2011 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 741336)
My roof now leaks when the upstairs flat uses the shower. This is disgusting and I am getting out of this shitty flat ASAP.

That is all kinds of gross. :x

Kitsa Sep 10th, 2011 07:38 PM

I went to see 2 bands today. The first band were a bunch of total douchebags with Jager shirts and douchebag necklaces and douchebag sunglasses who did douchebag music off-key. The second band were a bunch of goofy-looking guys who played in boxers with their junk hanging out and were really technically adept musicians. It was a refreshing change from the douchebaggery.

Fathom Zero Sep 11th, 2011 08:19 AM

I'm not good at the englisch today.

k0k0 Sep 11th, 2011 09:32 AM

Why don't girl bands ever take their tits out and play like that? I'm sure more dudes would go see them if they did.

Kitsa Sep 11th, 2011 11:49 AM

You missed out on Wendy O. Williams by a few years, I guess.

Fathom Zero Sep 11th, 2011 11:52 AM

I had a massive crush on Wendy O. :(

Zhukov Sep 11th, 2011 12:10 PM

When you were 3?

Fathom Zero Sep 11th, 2011 12:17 PM

I can say the same thing about Audrey Hepburn.

What, you never felt that way about someone past your time?

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 12:39 PM

I forgot my password. :lol

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 12:39 PM

I-Mockery Chat (MILHOS BARKWARDS STRIKES AGAIN)

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 12:44 PM

I got a PM from Babs. Does he still post here? It was titled "fuck you, what the hell".


Quote:

Originally Posted by Babs
"WHAT THE FUCK? ARE YOU STUPID? YOU THINK THAT WAS UNINTENTIONAL? I HOPE YOU'RE PROUD. THIS IS MY FIRST NEGATIVE PICKLE. GODDAMN YOU."

So I just noticed you gave me cancer pickles with that asshole comment over this.

Originally Posted by creeposaurus View Post
Why would you want to look at a vagina? They look like cock hungry mutant pastrami sandwiches.

FREUDIAN SLIP



Jesus Pub, I'm not that fucking stupid. It was a lame attempt at stating being cock hungry was on that lame ass' mind. COME ON, SERIOUSLY? GIVE ME A BREAK!!!:(:tear


Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 729274)
I do wish Chojin would start capping us fat fucks like the worthless dogs we are. :(

That was my last comment on here. Back in July. I am now going to pretend that every reply since then is happening in realtime.

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 729413)
Locked myself out of my new flat today, so I'm spending the night over at my mum's. I feel like such a useless and moronic twat.

Is this the leaky flat? :eek

Zhukov Sep 11th, 2011 02:13 PM

Yeah. Also, the walls bleed.

Fathom Zero Sep 11th, 2011 02:16 PM

I posted Jixby's World Trade Center starring Leslie Nielsen comic in various places, saying it was 'for the holiday.'

I think I'm going to lose some followers/family members.

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 730200)
dude i am seriously going to have to fucking check out this show about the fucking ponies, i mean goddamn

I watched an episode of this. The ponies had a birthday party for a lizard and then drove their friend insane. I did not watch another.

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 741468)
Yeah. Also, the walls bleed.

Does that cost extra? Good blood is hard to come by.

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 741469)
I posted Jixby's World Trade Center starring Leslie Nielsen comic in various places, saying it was 'for the holiday.'

I think I'm going to lose some followers/family members.

I have refrained from commenting on the issue [until now] because I hate America.

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spambot
Love meeting new friends and connecting. I'm an mlm mentor and personal success coach. Winemaker, love to write, christian songwriter and fan of gourmet coffee
Tennessee

What the bloody hell is connecting? Is that some sex shit that no one has mentioned yet? >:

Also I am talking the coffee tag out of my fucking profile, Jesus.

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 03:29 PM

Brak?

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 03:29 PM

:pagebrak

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer (Post 730279)
i hate myself AND i hate everyone else

i win the hate contest

So I changed the word 'Coffee' to 'Bitter Black Fluid'. I expect to get a different kind of spambot now. :chatter

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 730280)
yeah so anyway most women aren't attractive to me anymore because i can see they're all flabby in unfeminine ways. i'm only attracted to fit guys in an artistic sense. this narrows down my interests to reasonably fit girls and emo boys, but i'm pretty sure i couldn't love the second group.

But the sex would be great! :love

Fathom Zero Sep 11th, 2011 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 741476)
What the bloody hell is connecting?

It's like docking.

Kitsa Sep 11th, 2011 04:06 PM

I know a lot of fitness-obsessed people (used to work in an office across from one of the worst), and I don't think I could ever be in a relationship with one. Which I guess is good because apparently I am unfemininely flabby to anyone who didn't sculpt the Venus of Willendorf thing.

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 730304)
I'M SORRY NERDS DID I RUIN YOUR PITY PARTY? THAT WAS A JOKE I AM NOT SORRY AT ALL I AM EMBARRASSED FOR ALL OF YOU

YOU ARE ALL DISAPPOINTMENTS, JUST LIKE YOUR PARENTS SAID YOU WERE

I need this told to me hourly. :)

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 741481)
It's like docking.

I know all about docking. :picklehat

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 04:13 PM

Is connecting when you both have prolapsed anuses and you pull one over the other?

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 04:13 PM

Because I can totally do that if anyone is interested.

Kitsa Sep 11th, 2011 04:14 PM

You have a rectal prolapse?

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 741482)
I am unfemininely flabby to anyone who didn't sculpt the Venus of Willendorf thing.

HAWT :wank

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 741487)
You have a rectal prolapse?

Sitting down is a problem unless I lay it a certain way and then rest on only one cheek. :)

Kitsa Sep 11th, 2011 04:20 PM

It's like having a sea cucumber in your pants!

k0k0 Sep 11th, 2011 04:37 PM

I always carry a cucumber in my pocket because it attracts the ladies, but no idea what a sea cucumber in my pants would be like. Is it like shoved up my ass, or just floating around in my pants?

Fathom Zero Sep 11th, 2011 04:49 PM

cumcumber

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 730724)
God, all of you piss me off. I'm gonna leave for a couple days and hope the stupid blows over.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ItalianStereotype (Post 730734)

<3
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam (Post 730735)
IT DOESN'T WORK.

It does not. :|

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 741490)
It's like having a sea cucumber in your pants!

Do sea cucumbers make you cry? I had not heard this.

Fathom Zero Sep 11th, 2011 05:23 PM

>:

k0k0 Sep 11th, 2011 05:43 PM

I forgot that we're living in internet land now and I could just google sea cucumber to see what they look like. Fucking kids have it so easy in school now. I used to have to go to a library and look in encyclopedias and shit. Now I can just type 'Sea cucumber dildo' and learn.

edit: After typing that, the ad at the top of the page was trying to sell me on seafood deals.

Fathom Zero Sep 11th, 2011 05:55 PM

cumcumber

k0k0 Sep 11th, 2011 05:59 PM

Shut up cumcuber. You make me think I'm typing it wrong. Just like people always do when I say Houston or human or huge. I pronounce those words with 'You' instead of whatever people say it like and I always get called on it.

Fathom Zero Sep 11th, 2011 06:08 PM

That's only fair coz you're a little bit retarded.

k0k0 Sep 11th, 2011 06:15 PM

Perhaps I am and nobody wants to say anything. But to be honest, my friends aren't the type of people who would hang around someone of the retarded persuasion, so that doesn't make sense. Even if it was for a laugh, they wouldn't. One time I did go out on a date with a girl who was mentally handicapped in some way. I met her on ok cupid. On the phone she sounded a bit weird, pronouncing things wrong and sounded a bit muffled, but I took that down to being nervous. Even after my roommate answered a call from her and told me "bitch might be retarded", I still proceeded. It was the an awkward 2 hours of bowling because she kept wanting to get all close and I didn't know her and was trying to get used to the fact that she was that way. So that's the story of the time I dated a retarded person.

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 06:29 PM

:(

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 06:30 PM

:(.

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 06:30 PM

:pagebrak

Fathom Zero Sep 11th, 2011 06:49 PM

:lol

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 732324)
Dear Pub

Spoilers!

Was this a chess thing? :confused

Kitsa Sep 11th, 2011 08:11 PM

Worst first date I ever had was when the guy picked me up and told me that he was really looking forward to telling all of his friends on the internet how it went. He actually SAID THAT. The rest of the time was filled with general creepiness, then around midnight he said he wanted to take me to meet his parents. I said they would most likely be asleep. He said he would wake them up. When I demurred, he insisted on taking me to see the forest preserve where he went to "think". I won't lie, a couple of times on that date I seriously wondered if I was going to make it back alive.

The whole situation kind of deteriorated from there, what with him calling my house constantly and my mother arranging dates with him for me because she liked his shiny red sportscar :( He was in one of my classes and could tell me exactly what I was doing in all the others, right down to what songs we were analyzing in Music Theory. Eventually I had to get the university's approval to take the rest of my class privately and do my final in the professor's office due to the stalkerish situation.

He followed me in his car for a long, long time. I'd say almost 3 years. For all I know, he's reading this.

Fathom Zero Sep 11th, 2011 08:29 PM

Is Mr. Kitsa up for breaking some legs?

Kitsa Sep 11th, 2011 09:06 PM

Not if the game's on.

Fathom Zero Sep 11th, 2011 09:07 PM

GOOD MAN. :posh

k0k0 Sep 11th, 2011 09:08 PM

Kinda like how I'd be as a parent.


ThrashO Sep 11th, 2011 09:30 PM



NEVER FORGET.

Fathom Zero Sep 11th, 2011 09:41 PM


Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 741518)
...told me that he was really looking forward to telling all of his friends on the internet how it went. ... he wanted to take me to meet his parents. I said they would most likely be asleep. He said he would wake them up.
... He followed me in his car for a long, long time. I'd say almost 3 years. For all I know, he's reading this.

You have this story and you have let people in this place call me creepy? >:

Zhukov Sep 11th, 2011 11:08 PM

Kitsa, wow. I don't think I've ever really been on a bad date, so my worst one is only on technicality: Everything went really well, then I leaned in to kiss her at the end of the date and she said 'no', and I left it at that. She later became my girlfriend and said she didn't want to kiss me on that date because she had never kissed a guy before and was nervous.

SUCH A BAD RESULT FOR A FIRST DATE.

Pub Lover Sep 11th, 2011 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 741485)
Is connecting when you both have prolapsed anuses and you pull one over the other?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 741486)
Because I can totally do that if anyone is interested.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 741531)
You have this story and you have let people in this place call me creepy? >:

..

Kitsa Sep 11th, 2011 11:55 PM

see, I wait long enough and you answer your own questions.

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2011 12:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dixie (Post 735122)
i wanna be sam's partner. step off *****.

Is that bitch? Is bitch censored now? Like ****** and faggot?

executioneer Sep 12th, 2011 01:04 AM

maybe it's nigga

executioneer Sep 12th, 2011 01:04 AM

GUESS NOT

Rongi Sep 12th, 2011 03:10 AM

holy shit is ****** still censored?

Rongi Sep 12th, 2011 03:11 AM

what the fuck, i-mockery

Rongi Sep 12th, 2011 03:12 AM

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE IRONIC AND SUBVERSIVE ON THE INTERNET NOW

WHY SHOULD I CARE WHAT THE FUCK ARIEL PINK THINKS ABOUT 9/11

Rongi Sep 12th, 2011 03:14 AM

/whiteperson problems

man fuck you guys

k0k0 Sep 12th, 2011 03:16 AM

I don't even know what the asterisked thing is, but I'm offended by anyone saying it.

Zhukov Sep 12th, 2011 06:00 AM

Motherfucker cracker jack needs to step the fuck back.

k0k0 Sep 12th, 2011 10:41 AM

Sorry man, I won't try to guess it.

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2011 10:55 AM

It is censored because I scandalized them. I scandalized all of them. :eek

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2011 10:56 AM

:pagebrak

Pub Lover Sep 12th, 2011 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 735595)
Fuck no, I don't want to watch ponies. WE WILL WATCH DROP THE DEAD DONKEY INSTEAD


Good job, Gud. I mentioned that show to Shrub and she hadn't heard of it. She was just a tiny baby at the time. :eek

Aaarg Sep 12th, 2011 11:22 AM

is it normal to dread visiting family? because i'm not really expected to for another few months, but man, i don't fucking want to.

Colonel Flagg Sep 12th, 2011 12:15 PM

Depends on the family, but generally yeah. It's normal.

Enjoy the angst.

Colonel Flagg Sep 12th, 2011 12:16 PM

Embrace the angst.

Colonel Flagg Sep 12th, 2011 12:16 PM

FEEL THE INNER ANGST DEEP WITHIN YOUR SOUL.

Colonel Flagg Sep 12th, 2011 12:17 PM

Then go MMORPGing.

Aaarg Sep 12th, 2011 12:37 PM

haha i've been embracing angst for over a decade now

but i have mmo-anything because i don't like playing video games with other people.

:D

Fathom Zero Sep 12th, 2011 12:40 PM

:lol

Kitsa Sep 12th, 2011 12:42 PM

I've been embracing angst for 30+ years now. If it makes you feel any better, it never changes.

I went to the orthopedic surgeon and got approval to take my awful leg brace off. I was so fucking sick of that thing.

Everytime I see the show mentioned above, all I can think of is the oldschool Comedy Central voiceovers with Penn Jillette going "DROP...the Dead DON-key..."

Aaarg Sep 12th, 2011 12:48 PM

oh man, penn gillette comedy central.

Dixie Sep 12th, 2011 01:17 PM

i saw someone beating a car with an open leopard print umbrella at work the other night. it was pretty awesome.

Kitsa Sep 12th, 2011 01:32 PM

it would have been extra awesome if it were a jaguar.

k0k0 Sep 12th, 2011 01:32 PM

Penn Jillette and Teller are my favorite magicians and some of my favorite comedians, if you can call them that. They're both awesome.

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 12th, 2011 01:43 PM

Man I want this

Colonel Flagg Sep 12th, 2011 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by k0k0 (Post 741620)
Penn Jillette and Teller are my favorite magicians and some of my favorite comedians, if you can call them that. They're both awesome.

Penn and Teller's "Bulls**it!" was a great TV Show.

And, they're exceptional comedians AND magicians. It's like being both a floor-wax AND a dessert topping.

k0k0 Sep 12th, 2011 02:37 PM

Bullshit was a great show. It went a little overboard with the naked people on the later episodes, but penn and teller love nude people, so you can't fault them for it. It was still a great show.

Kitsa Sep 12th, 2011 03:08 PM

Some people a couple of doors down from us got evicted and they already had the reputation for being filthy (the grass in their lawn was like 2 feet tall, they had a bunch of starved and beaten animals wandering the neighborhood, etc). So I guess they left everything behind and the landlord has piled it all up on the curb. It's taller than I am (5') and the length of the house and you can smell the cat piss all the way down at the end of the street.

Anyway, our neighborhood is always being prowled by trashpickers the day before the city comes to pick up "special" trash like old furniture and whatnot. So I was out walking with my kid and I see this ratty old van stop in front of what I'm calling the "eviction pile", for lack of a better term. And they get out of the van, they go over to the pile, and suddenly they run back to the van as fast as their little legs will carry them and slam the doors and burn rubber getting away.

I'm curious. Bees? Rabid raccoons nesting in the pile?

k0k0 Sep 12th, 2011 03:15 PM

I remember the time my roommates and I used to haul our trash to this neighbor's house who had a small pile of junk on their curb. Eventually that pile became huge because anytime we needed to throw anything out, big or small, we'd just walk over to the house at night and throw it on the pile.

Eventually we found out mice had been coming in through our dryer exhaust hole and our laundry room had tons of them running around in there. They were nesting in a cushion from a papasan chair we had stored in there. So we dragged the papasan outside and filled it full of holes with our pellet guns, shooting anything that moves because this is Texas. So many dead mice. We tossed that cushion onto the pile and the next day we saw like 20 cats all over the trash pile. It was the biggest swarm of cats I've ever seen. The day after that, the neighbors got rid of the whole pile.

I do go to neighborhoods having the trash pickup (they have websites that list what areas are being picked up). But it has to be richer neighborhoods. I ain't gonna pick up trash from another poor person. What's the point?

Aaarg Sep 12th, 2011 03:30 PM

maybe there's a dead body in the pile.

the house we just moved into has a basement you can only access from the outside and it's got a pad lock on it. my girlfriend's mom said "maybe that's where she hides the bodies" D:

Kitsa Sep 12th, 2011 03:31 PM

Our neighbors collect scrap metal, but they know how skeevy this house was and are staying away. It's just a big pile of cheap broken furniture, ancient pee-stained mattresses, rolls of filthy carpet and whatnot.

I can pretty much sum up the people with this anecdote: I had a garage sale (not the shitbomb garage sale, this one was later) and the guy waddled over and bought an electric hedge-trimmer. He went back to his house, gathered the family, laid out flat on the driveway and hedge-trimmed about a foot of grass, yelling, "LOOK, AH'M MOWIN' THE LAWN!" Then they all had a good laugh and went inside. In about a month, the mowed spot caught back up with the rest of the yard.

Aaarg Sep 12th, 2011 05:43 PM

hahahaha that's pretty awesome

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 12th, 2011 06:55 PM

Our cat Slouch caught a mouse the other day so I was happy. Then I heard a frail little squeek squeek from nearby. Broke my heart.

Fathom Zero Sep 12th, 2011 07:15 PM

I want to reply to geggy's thread, but I don't want to.

Kitsa Sep 12th, 2011 07:24 PM

I want to make Geggy matzo ball soup and convert him

Chojin Sep 12th, 2011 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 741630)
Penn and Teller's "Bulls**it!" was a great TV Show.

it was also full of oversimplifications, inaccuracies, and stupid crap


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