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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Pram Maven Sep 16th, 2011 02:20 PM

:pagebrak

Better late than never...

Esuohlim Sep 16th, 2011 02:22 PM

Dude I've got a major assignment for Pub and I'm not about to let the mission get lost among brand new Pram bullshit >:

Pram Maven Sep 16th, 2011 02:25 PM

No, it's cool, Esuohlim. I'm behavin'.

Colonel Flagg Sep 16th, 2011 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 742317)
Dude I've got a major assignment for Pub and I'm not about to let the mission get lost among brand new Pram bullshit >:

I'm sure he's working on it diligently right about now.

Maybe. :halloween2

k0k0 Sep 16th, 2011 03:51 PM

Or you could pay some homeless man to go through 3000+ posts and find the picture. I'm sure you could pay womti with a tenner.

k0k0 Sep 16th, 2011 04:00 PM

Or just give me womti's garbage burrito that you'd probably end up paying him.





Seriously, took 3 minutes of using the search function, lazy.

And here's your original spinning baby if you were looking for that.

Pentegarn Sep 16th, 2011 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pram Maven (Post 742293)
I can't get Booberry where I live :(

That's Nick's shtick I thought :confused

Or maybe you misspelled boobery (urbandictionary definition 2 for clarity), which I could believe. Let's go with that

Quote:

Originally Posted by k0k0 (Post 742294)
Is it because there are too many racist clay animators living there and the ghost is colored?

You must spread some reputation around before giving it to k0k0 again :(

kahljorn Sep 16th, 2011 04:48 PM

id jut return it and say those parts were always broken lol

also you can just put your computers really close together and plug your old psu into it. You just need the motherboard plugs so you can find out what the problem is

ThrashO Sep 16th, 2011 05:52 PM

pram we welcome you back with open arms the same way you welcome mexicans into open nooses.

Aaarg Sep 16th, 2011 06:00 PM

i'd close your arms around animator don carlson lest he add another notch to his "nipple rippin'" post.

executioneer Sep 16th, 2011 07:34 PM

got a new psu, no dice

used my old psu that definitely works, same thing

nothing lights up on the board when power's supplied, nothing happens when i push the case's power on button, zilcho

bad mobo?

ThrashO Sep 16th, 2011 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pram Maven (Post 742316)
Better late than never...

Just like the police officers at every crime scene :tear

Aaarg Sep 16th, 2011 08:53 PM

"You think this can be re-attached, Jim?"

ThrashO Sep 16th, 2011 08:58 PM

"Ted... I don't even know what belongs to who."

executioneer Sep 16th, 2011 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer (Post 742355)
got a new psu, no dice

used my old psu that definitely works, same thing

nothing lights up on the board when power's supplied, nothing happens when i push the case's power on button, zilcho

bad mobo?

yep, turns out i'm grade-f retarded, i forgot to put spacers between the mobo and the case. you'd think they'd mention you need to do that somewhere in install guide or manual somewhere

Aaarg Sep 16th, 2011 09:17 PM

a grade-f retard means you're bad at being retarded, hooray!!

Pram Maven Sep 16th, 2011 09:18 PM

Thrash0- shut your fucking face, you Dane Cook/Charles Trippy wannabe asshole.

ThrashO Sep 16th, 2011 09:43 PM

why cant you just take a fucking joke dude? ive had a long ass day and the last thing i need is bullshit from you dude. I swear you know youd have more friends on here if you werent such an ASSHOLE.

You know I actually liked Blue Alien Summer

Pram Maven Sep 16th, 2011 09:48 PM

Thanks. You're probably the first.

Look, I'm not an asshole. I'm just sensitive and go off on people who are rude to me. It's funny until it shows up on your resume, and Google is just as bad when it comes to first impressions. That is the only reason I took umbrage. I can take a joke. Sorry to hear you're having a rough day.

ThrashO Sep 16th, 2011 09:50 PM

its ok man, sorry you cant get a job because ur a rapist.

Fathom Zero Sep 16th, 2011 09:50 PM

The first time Pram has ever gotten a green pickle. Which goes to show how not-abused the system is.

Pram Maven Sep 16th, 2011 09:57 PM

Fathom- I'm not sure what I got a green pickle for, but it's probably the equivalent of a drop of oil in a bucket of sand. I guess it's the thought that counts...

Pram Maven Sep 16th, 2011 09:57 PM

Hmmmm... or a grain of sand in a bucket of oil. Yeah.

Fathom Zero Sep 16th, 2011 10:00 PM

man, you're a special boy

ThrashO Sep 16th, 2011 10:00 PM

or a fingernail in a bucket of severed infant penises

Pram Maven Sep 16th, 2011 10:03 PM

Or one of your blunts in a plate of appetizers.

ThrashO Sep 16th, 2011 10:05 PM

Or a childs scream amongst the clatter and tinkering of sharpened garden tools

Fathom Zero Sep 16th, 2011 10:07 PM

retard thunderdome

Fathom Zero Sep 16th, 2011 10:09 PM

if only two men could enter and no man leaves

Pram Maven Sep 16th, 2011 10:10 PM

UNCLE!!!

Pram Maven Sep 16th, 2011 10:14 PM

So... How are you doing, Fathom? Last I saw you were not doing so great. Any good news, man?

Fathom Zero Sep 16th, 2011 10:32 PM

My family and I are living on ramen noodles and borrowed time.

Fathom Zero Sep 16th, 2011 10:33 PM

That's the title of my new mixtape, by the way.

Pram Maven Sep 16th, 2011 10:36 PM

It sounds like the name of a Moby single.

Aaarg Sep 16th, 2011 10:47 PM

idiot, fz is moby

ThrashO Sep 16th, 2011 11:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pram Maven (Post 742385)
It sounds like the name of a Moby single.

your signature/quote/avatar combo isn't quite wacky or witty enough yet, you almost got it though.

Grislygus Sep 17th, 2011 12:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 742314)
There may be copyright issues involved, but whatever floats. :\

If I am paid, I give my permission


I must be paid with a claymated short of my avatar slapping bjork in the face with its cock

kahljorn Sep 17th, 2011 07:21 AM

wow spacers? I would've never thought of that.

so i it working now?

executioneer Sep 17th, 2011 07:27 AM

yep fine and dandy like sugar candy

Pentegarn Sep 17th, 2011 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pram Maven (Post 742370)
Thanks. You're probably the first.

Look, I'm not an asshole. I'm just sensitive and go off on people who are rude to me. It's funny until it shows up on your resume, and Google is just as bad when it comes to first impressions. That is the only reason I took umbrage. I can take a joke. Sorry to hear you're having a rough day.

For bad stuff to show up on your resume that would mean you fucking put it there yourself.

So what have we learned here? We have learned Pram puts all the stuff people say about him on his resume, and then it is somehow our fault :confused

Pram Maven Sep 17th, 2011 11:31 AM

If I put everything everywhere it shows up, then why, after a month and a half of my absence, are you still linking to a thread about me? You had plenty of opportunity to let it go, but something tells me you don't want to because you know it does me harm every time you post with it in your sig.

k0k0 Sep 17th, 2011 11:48 AM


executioneer Sep 17th, 2011 12:03 PM


Colonel Flagg Sep 17th, 2011 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pram Maven (Post 742430)
[I've] had plenty of opportunity to let it go, but [i] don't want to because [I really want you to think] [repeatedly posting a link to a stupid thread no one will ever read] does me harm every time you post with it in your sig.

Edited for clarity. :rolleyes

Colonel Flagg Sep 17th, 2011 02:52 PM

Pram, Don, or whatever you go by these days, please just let it go already. You're doing this all to yourself.

Unless of course, you're into sado-masochism and self-flaggelation, in which case, have at it, bro.

Pram Maven Sep 17th, 2011 03:52 PM

Not at all. I'm into pulling the wool off of your eyes because you have a very wrong perception of me. I like to joke, have fun, tease a little... But at the end of the day I always come back to humble and nice. Can you say the same about yourself? If so, LET'S SEE IT!

Also, people WILL read that stupid thread you post the link to a hundred million times per month because it's under my God-given NAME, you hemorrhoid blood clot.

ThrashO Sep 17th, 2011 04:04 PM

THOMAS MARTIN OF RALEIGH NORTH CAROLINA IS A PEDOPHILE
THOMAS MARTIN OF RALEIGH NORTH CAROLINA IS A MURDERER
THOMAS MARTIN OF RALEIGH NORTH CAROLINA IS A DICK LICKER
THOMAS MARTIN OF RALEIGH NORTH CAROLINA HAS BLACK PARENTS
THOMAS MARTIN OF RALEIGH NORTH CAROLINA IS REALLY A HERMAPHRODITE
THOMAS MARTIN OF RALEIGH NORTH CAROLINA ONCE BROKE 5 LIGHTBULBS IN HIS ANUS AT ONCE.

No one gives a fuck. Shut up.

Fathom Zero Sep 17th, 2011 04:16 PM

IF ANYONE GOOGLED YOUR NAME AND SPENT MORE THAN A MINUTE'S TIME LOOKING AT THIS BOARD, THEY WOULD SEE THAT WE COULDN'T GIVE LESS OF A FUCK ABOUT YOU, THAT NONE OF THE ACCUSATIONS HAVE MERIT, AND THAT YOU ARE THE MOST HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING EVER ON THE PLANET, BEATING OUT POL POT AND HITLER. IF YOU AREN'T HIRED FOR ANY REASON RELATED TO YOUR BEING ON THIS FORUM, THAT IS THE REASON. GO AHEAD AND LINK YOUR EMPLOYERS TO THIS POST, KING BIPOLAR DOUCHE.

Kitsa Sep 17th, 2011 08:57 PM

Someone actually did come into the ER with a lightbulb up his ass when I was working one night :( They lubed him up and delivered it like a baby, with forceps. They were afraid it would break in his ass.

k0k0 Sep 17th, 2011 09:00 PM

What would you have done if it did break inside of his ass? How would all of that glass inside be handled?

ThrashO Sep 17th, 2011 09:07 PM

Has anyone seen the shocker video of the guy sitting on a pickle jar and then it breaks in his ass? I haven't seen the video but I saw a gif of it on 4chan. It's pretty brutal :(

I now take tender care whenever I wipe.

k0k0 Sep 17th, 2011 09:10 PM

I did see the video a long time ago. It was horrible and he was remarkably calm about it all after it happened. Even as all that blood was pouring out onto the tile.

ThrashO Sep 17th, 2011 09:13 PM

Just the crunching of the glass and the way he kind of panicked pulling all those bloody pieces out... fuuuuuckkkk

:hangman

I heard that that's his thing though. Asshole torture. I imagine that was a one time dealy though.

dextire Sep 17th, 2011 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 742474)
They lubed him up and delivered it like a baby, with forceps.

I'm afraid the comma didn't stop my brain from seeing this. :)


Pentegarn Sep 17th, 2011 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pram Maven (Post 742430)
If I put everything everywhere it shows up, then why, after a month and a half of my absence, are you still linking to a thread about me? You had plenty of opportunity to let it go, but something tells me you don't want to because you know it does me harm every time you post with it in your sig.

So how, and I am honestly asking this, how my deluded friend, is this magically showing up on your resume? You do know what a resume is right? It is something we either type up ourselves or have someone type for us to display our skills in a concise streamlined format. Let's say for the sake of argument you hired someone else to type your resume for you and they included "i-mockery.com -5 years of acting the fool and being a pedophile rapist bigot etc". Let's further say you then took that resume sight unseen and spread it about town. In your delusion of accountability, did it ever occur to you my puffed up little poppinjay, that you could have stopped this resume from being distributed in several different points of this little scenario?

As for me leaving the links in my sig, I am simply too lazy to edit my sig, nor do I have any real motivation to bother doing so

dextire Sep 17th, 2011 09:34 PM

You guys have some serious stamina dealing with the Microshocks' of the world.
After a while my eyes glaze over and all I see is:


Kitsa Sep 17th, 2011 09:40 PM

I don't know what would have happened, it probably would have turned into a surgeons' problem. We shipped 'em out and often didn't hear from them again.

A lightbulb is fairly small, if delicate. I did read or hear (can't remember which) about some guy who wanted to make a cast of his rectum and filled it with cement via an enema bag. I know that one turned into a big problem because it actually did set up, plus he had lye burns inside his ass.

We got lots of people with vibrators up their butts. The "ass box" on Scrubs was pretty true to life, although to the best of my knowledge our ass-artifacts lived on only in stories. They usually let the batteries die down, dilate their sphincters and go fishing for it. Or they tell them to "bear down like you're pooping" and that's always a fun thing to watch.

ThrashO Sep 17th, 2011 10:43 PM

Well taking a dump feels great so it must feel even better when things are going in

The added adrenaline rush of keeping your anus relaxed enough to not shatter paper-thin glass and ruin your entire life must be one of the greatest highs known to man.

If only we could mix this and bungee jumping.

or what if... the lightbulb...

WAS THE ONLY THING ATTACHED TO THE CORD.

Kitsa Sep 17th, 2011 11:12 PM

Didn't Bam Margera do something with a kite and anal beads? I think it's on Youtube somewhere. I'd go looking but I'm watching a movie on Netflix right now.

Colonel Flagg Sep 18th, 2011 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 742484)
I did read or hear (can't remember which) about some guy who wanted to make a cast of his rectum and filled it with cement via an enema bag. I know that one turned into a big problem because it actually did set up, plus he had lye burns inside his ass.

The inherent stupidity of the human race has no bounds.

Kitsa Sep 18th, 2011 12:16 AM

Lye? Lime?

Lime, probably.

Colonel Flagg Sep 18th, 2011 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 742494)
Didn't Bam Margera do something with a kite and anal beads?

NSFW

Spoilers!

Kitsa Sep 18th, 2011 12:19 AM

He's lucky he didn't prolapse his rectum.

Pentegarn Sep 18th, 2011 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 742503)
NSFW

Spoilers!

I am not 100% sure but that might be an urban legend, I have heard that story before as well but it was a woman

Kitsa Sep 18th, 2011 12:52 AM

It sounds like something that could maybe be a commonplace rookie mistake.

Pentegarn Sep 18th, 2011 12:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dextire (Post 742483)
You guys have some serious stamina dealing with the Microshocks' of the world.
After a while my eyes glaze over and all I see is:


The idiots in question are like little exploding pockets of stupidity that are fun to goof on though

Kitsa Sep 18th, 2011 01:03 AM

I drank a lot of really cheap wine. This means I feel awesome in like 5-minute stretches. Most of the time the neurological shit my body throws at me when I've imbibed makes the whole thing very not-worth-it, but tonight I was drinking it in the vain attempt to get a spasmed bicep to let the fuck go.

No luck so far but my mouth is stained purple pretty good

ThrashO Sep 18th, 2011 01:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pentegarn (Post 742505)
I am not 100% sure but that might be an urban legend, I have heard that story before as well but it was a woman

The "urban legend" I heard was that a chick asked a dude to come over and they start getting down and dirty, and he realizes she has rubber sheets. At first he thinks it's weird but apparently she's a total fox so whatever. Then she starts putting anal beads in his ass and he's like "whatever, this chick is sexy as hell and i'm open to new things and am also Pram Maven" and then all of a sudden she tears them out of his ass, he shits EVERYWHERE and she plays in it and he gets too weirded out and leaves her to her mess.

I've always heard it explained as "this is too weird I'm leaving" and I can just picture a guy casually spray-shitting all over an entire bedroom and just looking at it going "hmmm... weird..."

Kitsa Sep 18th, 2011 01:31 AM

I think I read something like that on PoopReport years ago, now that you mention it.

Fathom Zero Sep 18th, 2011 07:08 AM

I figured out how to scan negatives using a regular scanner. Goodbye, shitty Walgreens and your terrible prints.

Pentegarn Sep 18th, 2011 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThrashO (Post 742512)
"whatever, this chick is sexy as hell and i'm open to new things and am also Pram Maven"

:lol

"You must spread some reputation around before giving it to Thrash0 again" :(

Kitsa Sep 18th, 2011 09:53 AM

Dammit, I hate walking through peoples fartclouds in public places. :(

k0k0 Sep 18th, 2011 09:58 AM

Would you walk through 30 minutes of people's fart clouds for 100 dollars?

Zhukov Sep 18th, 2011 10:01 AM

One passed me by today and everyone to the left of where I was standing thought it was me. God damn it.

Kitsa Sep 18th, 2011 10:15 AM

I don't know. I was at the grocery store, which makes it a bit grosser, and it was one of those that's so foul you can almost taste it.

Pentegarn Sep 18th, 2011 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 742539)
Dammit, I hate walking through peoples fartclouds in public places. :(

We call that crop dusting

Pram Maven Sep 18th, 2011 01:59 PM

I think I'm just going to drop it, but I wasn't here for five years. I was gone almost all of that time, so you still don't have a fully formed perception of who I am outside of what side you've seen.

The comment about it "showing up on my rseume" was a metaphor. I was saying that "it might as well be on my resume, given that it's on Google, where people look first before hiring you these days". Sorry if that wasn't completely clear. Aside from that, the sort of douchebaggery that I used to delight in is not very fun anymore. I'm considering retiring the whole "asshole with Aspergers" schtick. Do you want to know the real me, or are you content with picking on the cardboard cutout I have set up to be knocked down?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pentegarn (Post 742481)
So how, and I am honestly asking this, how my deluded friend, is this magically showing up on your resume? You do know what a resume is right? It is something we either type up ourselves or have someone type for us to display our skills in a concise streamlined format. Let's say for the sake of argument you hired someone else to type your resume for you and they included "i-mockery.com -5 years of acting the fool and being a pedophile rapist bigot etc". Let's further say you then took that resume sight unseen and spread it about town. In your delusion of accountability, did it ever occur to you my puffed up little poppinjay, that you could have stopped this resume from being distributed in several different points of this little scenario?

As for me leaving the links in my sig, I am simply too lazy to edit my sig, nor do I have any real motivation to bother doing so


Pram Maven Sep 18th, 2011 02:32 PM

I like how this entire thread is like watching someone change channels on a TV with bad reception.

TV: "In the news"..."psssssh"... "NO YOU'RE NOT, YES I AM!"..."psssssh"..."and you want to get the eggs light and fluffy by whipping them..."psssssh"...."to a pulp. Then he proceeded to stomp the shit out of my girlfriend's face and got his foot stuck in her"..."psssssh"..."can't pay my rent this month"..."psssssh"..."and the army wouldn't take me, so I'm joining the circus."

Pentegarn Sep 18th, 2011 02:49 PM

Yeah, that would be how a free flowing chat thread works.

What's your take on TV dinners?

Pram Maven Sep 18th, 2011 02:53 PM

They're hard to cook all the way through. I've gotten food poisoning several times. You?

Pram Maven Sep 18th, 2011 02:55 PM

If I was an Asspie I would say "TV dinners aren't very musical when they cook, so I hate them".

ThrashO Sep 18th, 2011 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pram Maven (Post 742549)
Do you want to know th

no

Pram Maven Sep 18th, 2011 03:53 PM

I like the concept of seeing a "no" between quotes from two people who are funnier than you.

ThrashO Sep 18th, 2011 04:01 PM

I like the idea of you writing "Pedophile, murderer, child genital skinner" on your own resume, reading it and screaming "DAMMIT I DONT UNDERSTAND! >: "

Pram Maven Sep 18th, 2011 04:12 PM

I like the fact that the chances of you ever being funny are as slim as Chojin's new waistline.

ThrashO Sep 18th, 2011 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pram Maven (Post 742569)
I like the fact that the chances of you ever being funny are as slim as Chojin's new waistline.

OH I GUESS U HAVENT SEEN MY ZUG COLLECTION

Pram Maven Sep 18th, 2011 04:19 PM

Of course not. It's too easy to miss on a site populated with people who have said things that were accidentally funnier than anything you've ever said to be funny on purpose.

Pram Maven Sep 18th, 2011 04:25 PM

Now that I own Thrash0, would anyone like to pet him? You can feed him treats, too... Just try to keep your fingers away from his mouth. He's too stupid to be able to distinguish between food and body parts except when he sucks dicks...For some reason his brain makes an exception for cock sucking to gain acceptance from people who otherwise wouldn't give his sad attempts at humor the time of day.

ThrashO Sep 18th, 2011 04:27 PM

If you hover your cursor over Pram's pickles it says "Pram Maven is probably Pram Maven."

I really hope that it says "________ is probably Pram Maven" for anyone who reaches the negative reputation limit.

:lol

Pram Maven Sep 18th, 2011 04:28 PM

Heh... Suddenly, Thrash0's avatar becomes appropriate: he's being beaten by a nobody in both cases.

Pram Maven Sep 18th, 2011 04:32 PM

If you hover your cursor over Thrash0, he shows you his mangina.

Well, not really... But HE thinks he does, because he's high.

ThrashO Sep 18th, 2011 04:32 PM

Heh, Suddenly Pram Maven's avatar becomes appropriate: He's stupid.

Pram Maven Sep 18th, 2011 04:33 PM

Heh, suddenly Thrash0's avatar is still appropriate (target: ongoing) because when he moves around, he is able to hit himself in more places.

Pram Maven Sep 18th, 2011 04:34 PM

Oh, sorry. I meant thrashes around.

Pram Maven Sep 18th, 2011 04:36 PM

:morphs into Gil Grissom from CSI

Grissom: "You're LOSING, Thrash0".

ThrashO Sep 18th, 2011 04:36 PM

Bet you didn't know there was an edit button.

*crosses arms*

[edit 2] lol im not gonna post again because if he makes another double post he'll look like an idiot lol

Pram Maven Sep 18th, 2011 04:39 PM

Thanks. Now I can see when you tried too hard, tried to backpedal, and only barely topped your original post.

Pram Maven Sep 18th, 2011 04:44 PM

You suck, Thrash0. I'd say you should "pack it in", but I'm afraid that would incite you to yank the dicks out of your mouth and jam them in your ass.

Pram Maven Sep 18th, 2011 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThrashO
You stupid fucking dumbass nig*ger. fucking ignorant piece of shit. you're worse than every nig*ger ive ever met and I live in the south and there are nig*gers EVERYWHERE. Why don't you come down here and live like the coon you are. Fucking piece of shit.

And you guys call ME racist?

ThrashO Sep 18th, 2011 04:57 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :lol

too easy.


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