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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Rongi Sep 21st, 2011 12:28 AM

milhouse, can you give me back my editing button? chojin took it away because he thinks i'm going to go back and edit my old posts. but i would never do that because that's retarded and i have better things to do

MLE Sep 21st, 2011 12:30 AM

but that means you would edit your new posts and that is just as dangerous.

executioneer Sep 21st, 2011 12:31 AM

milhouse you son of a gun! i've gotten that doubleclick thing and always wondered why it did that, i had no idea it actually edited the title

Esuohlim Sep 21st, 2011 12:49 AM

That's the only reason why I know about it, because I sometimes do it by accident :x

Esuohlim Sep 21st, 2011 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rongi (Post 742985)
milhouse, can you give me back my editing button? chojin took it away because he thinks i'm going to go back and edit my old posts. but i would never do that because that's retarded and i have better things to do

I DO NOT HAVE THIS POWER :( SRY

ThrashO Sep 21st, 2011 12:53 AM

wil u guys make me a mod so i can try

ThrashO Sep 21st, 2011 12:54 AM

Also, I like the way "Murderapist" rolls off the tongue.

Or onto the tongue if you catch my drift... :conspiracy

Esuohlim Sep 21st, 2011 12:56 AM

Welcome to I-Mockery, Member #15981

Rongi Sep 21st, 2011 01:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MLE (Post 742987)
but that means you would edit your new posts and that is just as dangerous.

I JUST DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW HOW INARTICULATE I AM

MY REPUTATION ON THE INTERNET IS AT STAKE HERE

willie, help a brother out

Rongi Sep 21st, 2011 01:21 AM

god one of my roommates is so fucking annoying and weird. here are things i hate about him:

-he only eats like, white bread and cereal and shit. dude is straight up afraid of chinese food
-he has no idea what "69" means. he actually asked me once "what is 69?" i just told him it was a number
-whenever he sees me studying he will ask me "hey man, are you studying?" or tell me "jeez you sure study a lot, man!"
-he eats all my fucking cereal
-he constantly follows around my other roommate (who is a total broseph but i hang out w/ him a lot), and jabbers on and on and on and on and on about nothing. he doesn't do this to me because i usually give him very monosyllabic answers or i go into my room
-i hate him

Zhukov Sep 21st, 2011 01:30 AM

I avoid proper Chinese food made by Chineses because they usually put MSG in everything as a flavour, and that gives me bad migraines.

I eat all my cereal.


I hate him.

ThrashO Sep 21st, 2011 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rongi (Post 743002)
god one of my roommates is so fucking annoying and weird. here are things i hate about him:

-he only eats like, white bread and cereal and shit. dude is straight up afraid of chinese food
-he has no idea what "69" means. he actually asked me once "what is 69?" i just told him it was a number
-whenever he sees me studying he will ask me "hey man, are you studying?" or tell me "jeez you sure study a lot, man!"
-he eats all my fucking cereal
-he constantly follows around my other roommate (who is a total broseph but i hang out w/ him a lot), and jabbers on and on and on and on and on about nothing. he doesn't do this to me because i usually give him very monosyllabic answers or i go into my room
-i hate him

My room mate is the same way. But he's one of my best friends. He's just one of the friends that you can really fucking hate at times.

For example, he likes attention, so if he does something "wacky" like eat cereal out of a huge serving bowl because there are no regular bowls clean, he has to be loud about it and make sure you SEE this huge bowl then he dumps the cereal in, looking out of the corner of his eye to make sure you're seeing just how SILLY HE IS and then he dramatically spoons the first huge bite of cereal into his mouth and quietly giggles to himself as if to say "CAN U BELIEVE I DID THAT LOL".

Also, he does shit like "Man you sure do like strawberries!" or "Man what's up with you and fajitas!? you make them like every night lol!"

Rongi are you secretly my third room mate? Because he hates this guy too and we talk shit on how stupid he is all the time.

[edit] also, he knocks on my door while I'm minding my own business just to go "whatcha watching?"

FUCK OFF THATS WHAT IM WATCHING.

executioneer Sep 21st, 2011 01:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rongi (Post 743001)
I JUST DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW HOW INARTICULATE I AM

MY REPUTATION ON THE INTERNET IS AT STAKE HERE

willie, help a brother out

i think i can't do it either :(

executioneer Sep 21st, 2011 01:43 AM

unless it has something to do with usergroups, that is? and even then i don't wanna get yelled at again like the pickles for ponies debacle

Shyandquietguy Sep 21st, 2011 02:57 AM

I don't remember most of my room mates other than being too horribly depressed to actually remember them. The one room mate I had outside of school was pretty damn awesome and understanding of my awkwardness and enjoyed me as the awkward shut in that I was. Even though he had a gigantic boner for cars and tech and it was hard not wanting to deck him whenever he got me into his room and talk about some new camero or whatever coming out.

Because I was the only one who listened to him. >:

kahljorn Sep 21st, 2011 04:24 AM

rongi i have a solution for all of your problems

dont buy cereal or whitebread

ok tha tonly solves some of them

its possible he could stave to death though

ItalianStereotype Sep 21st, 2011 06:15 AM

so I have a really cool story, bros

in my browser with the BAPE forum skin, when I load any page on the forums it always takes a moment to load properly. for the first few seconds, the "user" in "user cp" is cut off, leaving only cp.

ItalianStereotype Sep 21st, 2011 06:15 AM

I mean, aren't child dicks just ACES

ItalianStereotype Sep 21st, 2011 06:17 AM

Pram Maven, I think we could all learn a tune or two if you'd care to whistle

HickMan Sep 21st, 2011 07:05 AM

AFGHANISTAN UPDATE: I'M NOT DEAD YET

Aaarg Sep 21st, 2011 08:21 AM

only eats white bread? afraid of chinese food? sounds like a RACIST.

Kitsa Sep 21st, 2011 09:43 AM

I'm afraid of a lot of chinese food because they put oyster sauce in everything and that doesn't go well when you're allergic to shellfish.

Once I ordered a vegetable dish and it had brown sauce on it that I thought was some sort of thickened soy sauce, and I ate it and my face turned red and I started wheezing. :(

So mostly I order steamed vegetables and white rice and cry a lot.

Aaarg Sep 21st, 2011 09:53 AM

hey, white rice is delicious!

but you have a reason to be afraid of chinese food, at least.

Colonel Flagg Sep 21st, 2011 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HickMan (Post 743029)
AFGHANISTAN UPDATE: I'M NOT DEAD YET

Keep up the good work!

Pram Maven Sep 21st, 2011 11:07 AM

That's it... I'm gonna rape your faces off. I'll do the ugly ones first, because more texture = added pleasure.

Pram Maven Sep 21st, 2011 11:10 AM

You're gonna get soooo raped, President Obama will declare an annual Raping Day in my honor. When I die, I'm going to rape your DREEEEEAMS

Pram Maven Sep 21st, 2011 11:12 AM

But I'll do it slow... Over, say, several years of random visits. In fact, one day you won't wake up for 50 years and the townspeople will nickname you Rape Van Winkle.

GOOGLE POLICE UNDERCOVER Sep 21st, 2011 11:19 AM

PRAM MAVEN THAT IS IT I ARREST YOU IN THE NAME OF THE LORD LAW

GOOGLE POLICE UNDERCOVER Sep 21st, 2011 11:20 AM

HEY WHERE DID YOU GO GIVE ME BACK MY BILLY BAT

GOOGLE FBI Sep 21st, 2011 11:26 AM

:shoots Pram Maven

THANKS, GOOGLE POLICE. I'LL HAVE SOMEONE CALL THE BODY IN.

: puts the redneck siren flashy light thing on the hood of his car and peels out

:HOOOOWEEEEEEEE HOOOOOOWEEEEEEEE HOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEE

MLE Sep 21st, 2011 11:30 AM

Nice try, but you're not allowed to register multiple accounts, sonny boy.

MLE Sep 21st, 2011 11:31 AM

Didn't we already tell you this? This makes you a MULTIPLE OFFENDER.

CORONER Sep 21st, 2011 11:33 AM

THERE'S NO SIGN OF SEXUAL TRAUMA!

ALSO, PRAM MAVEN IS DEAD.

Dixie Sep 21st, 2011 12:00 PM

Can't we just ban him already?

MarioRPG Sep 21st, 2011 01:10 PM

Pram, like herpes, would just come back with a vengeance.

Esuohlim Sep 21st, 2011 02:33 PM

INTERNET

Colonel Flagg Sep 21st, 2011 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarioRPG (Post 743064)
Pram, like herpes, would just come back with a vengeance.

This.

Kitsa Sep 21st, 2011 03:46 PM

I sort of recognized it and that made me lol.

Well done on amusing your fellow science nerds and whatnot, Flagg. You get a pickle.

Kitsa Sep 21st, 2011 03:53 PM

At first I thought you were going here:

Spoilers!

Kitsa Sep 21st, 2011 03:54 PM

...wow, that didn't show up well at all.

liquidstatik Sep 21st, 2011 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 743066)
INTERNET

INTERNET?

Pentegarn Sep 21st, 2011 04:21 PM

Pram is ripping off Gus's shtick and doing it very poorly.

As an aside to Pram himself, read that link to see it done right

MLE Sep 21st, 2011 04:23 PM

Actually, a good portion of those weren't Gus. One of them was me.

MLE Sep 21st, 2011 04:24 PM

We did the same thing to Dr. Boogie, but all of them got promptly banned.

Dr. Loogie, Dr. Noogie, and one other.

Pentegarn Sep 21st, 2011 04:35 PM

Heh I thought they were all Gus.

:historylesson

Are the ones in this thread all Gus or does he have access to all the Gus family?

Either way I will henceforth call it "The Gus gag". Which is still funny but I now know is a collaboration.

Rongi Sep 21st, 2011 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 743017)
rongi i have a solution for all of your problems

dont buy cereal or whitebread

ok tha tonly solves some of them

its possible he could stave to death though

the only time he ever leaves the house (aside from when he has to go to class) is to go to target to buy white bread and cereal :(

executioneer Sep 21st, 2011 06:52 PM

i agree with kahl you should stave him to death

HickMan Sep 21st, 2011 08:45 PM

I think I'll make a character called DickMan and be a total dick to everyone. Or maybe SlickMan and be totally cool with the ladies. More thought must be put into this while I defend 'MURICA

Rongi Sep 21st, 2011 08:48 PM

man, staving someone to death sounds like it would take a lot of work :/

Rongi Sep 21st, 2011 09:01 PM

IMA CHUCK A DEAD BODY YA MOTHAFUCKIN LAWN

Rongi Sep 21st, 2011 09:02 PM

*on ya mothafuckin lawn >:

Kitsa Sep 21st, 2011 09:08 PM

Thanks to my neighbors, my lawn looks like something out of ATHF so it could only be an improvement.

Shyandquietguy Sep 21st, 2011 09:15 PM

If you cross him in the kitchen you should mutter "I'm tired of fucking cereal." Before he reacts follow with "I'm tired of you." If he's speechless, go and find the big bowl that he has, throw it on the ground and stomp on it. Start walking off. The moment he begins to sheepishly pick up the pieces, grab the largest piece you can and throw it out the window.

But if tries to calm you down rather than stand back. grab each and every bowl you can find and break them. If he manages to restrain you, just sob incoherently that you can't control yourself, that you don't know what you're doing. Then tip over the fridge.

I have to go visit my Dad under the overpass now.

P.S. Serious answer. Get a giant bowl and two cascading smaller bowls and place them inside each other and eat out of the smallest one and continue to do so until it gets on him. Make sure they're loose enough that they clink and clank to add to the quick wear down.

Kitsa Sep 21st, 2011 09:29 PM

Dead spider in the cereal like in arachnophobia?

I can't eat crispix to this day.

Rongi Sep 21st, 2011 09:32 PM

thanks for the suggestions, y'all, but more than likely i'll probably just end up screaming at him ;(

probably around midterms

Shyandquietguy Sep 21st, 2011 10:03 PM

Tell him all the strange knick knacks he has are banal as shit. Or convince him sleeping like a homeless person is cool.

liquidstatik Sep 21st, 2011 10:08 PM

REAL TALK

Colonel Flagg Sep 21st, 2011 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 743075)
At first I thought you were going here:

Spoilers!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 743076)
...wow, that didn't show up well at all.

Don't worry, I figured it out ... but why would that alleviate the situation? All I could glean from teh googlwebs was that potassium dicyanoargentate was used in some biomedical applications (proteomics?) and had some effect on endocrine activity.

Biochemistry was never a strong subject for me. :(

Kitsa Sep 21st, 2011 11:30 PM

you overthought it, I was just going for potassium cyanide and that was the simplest diagram I could find :)

Colonel Flagg Sep 21st, 2011 11:59 PM

:(

Kitsa Sep 22nd, 2011 12:17 AM

Also I haven't been in school in years :(

Fathom Zero Sep 22nd, 2011 12:18 AM



This is that joke in video form

k0k0 Sep 22nd, 2011 12:23 AM

Man, I wish I were young enough to go back to school and not have to work. I miss the days when I didn't have to worry over stupid shit.

executioneer Sep 22nd, 2011 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rongi (Post 743113)
man, staving someone to death sounds like it would take a lot of work :/

naw you just get a good solid (oak?) stave and beat them about the head and chest w/it

shouldn't take more than a few good whacks unless he's particularly thick-headed

ThrashO Sep 22nd, 2011 12:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 743147)


This is that joke in video form



COOL ARM

Rongi Sep 22nd, 2011 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer (Post 743154)
naw you just get a good solid (oak?) stave and beat them about the head and chest w/it

shouldn't take more than a few good whacks unless he's particularly thick-headed

OH I thought you meant like the VERB stave:

"Break something by forcing it inward or piercing it roughly"

executioneer Sep 22nd, 2011 01:00 AM

well that's the ultimate goal but it isn't 100% necessary

Fathom Zero Sep 22nd, 2011 03:40 AM

i'm not an ice cream man

i'm an ice cream, man

Fathom Zero Sep 22nd, 2011 03:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by k0k0 (Post 743151)
Man, I wish I were young enough to go back to school and not have to work. I miss the days when I didn't have to worry over stupid shit.

What was your highest grade completed before you dropped out? Some say it gets harder as it goes along.

k0k0 Sep 22nd, 2011 05:58 AM

I graduated highschool but never felt the need to go to college. I did pretty much get all A's and B's until my last year because I spent the whole year smoking pot and working instead of going to school. I just showed up to pass all of their tests. When they didn't want to pass me because I didn't show up, I just showed them how I passed every test they gave. It sucked that I had enough credits to graduate my junior year, but the state mandated that I had to take 4 years of english and a year of an elective.

Fathom Zero Sep 22nd, 2011 06:10 AM

Two years in and I'm still wondering why I go. School is a sucker's bet.

Aaarg Sep 22nd, 2011 02:37 PM


k0k0 Sep 22nd, 2011 02:49 PM


Aaarg Sep 22nd, 2011 04:14 PM

oh man i love that he hurried out of there. that bird has gotta be a habitual shoplifter. that's awesome.

when i worked for safeway every so often a dog would sneak over from some house on a street past the woods behind the store and he'd come into the store and run into the deli.

his name was roscoe and he was a min-pin.

Fathom Zero Sep 22nd, 2011 04:23 PM

Roscoe the Cold-Cut Bandit

Kitsa Sep 22nd, 2011 04:27 PM


Aaarg Sep 22nd, 2011 04:29 PM

and you're not going to stop those guys because BEAKS HURT.

Kitsa Sep 22nd, 2011 04:33 PM

You're telling me...I used to have a mean old cockatiel and one time he got me right in that spot between my thumb and index finger. I swear he chewed. Even with my blood all over his beak, he wouldn't let go.

k0k0 Sep 22nd, 2011 04:50 PM

Looks like I gotta have sinus surgery since I have some kind of blockage up there, which is good and also sucks. I also have a deviated septum so they're gonna put tubes up my nose and make me deal with that for a week or so. Fun stuff. So if I'm not back after next Tuesday, you dudes be cool, cuz I'm dead, and probably haunting kitsa. Because I think she'd be the one to talk about me haunting her on here. Plus, no offense, but I think she'd be the most interesting to watch day to day.

Kitsa Sep 22nd, 2011 05:35 PM

Well, that sucks. Any surgery sucks, I mean.

I'm sure you'll be back.

In the meantime, I'll be showering with my clothes on.

b_squared Sep 22nd, 2011 05:43 PM

k0k0,
You'll be haunting her because you have a thing for curvy redheads.

Good luck with the surgery, hopefully they can fix it.

Pentegarn Sep 22nd, 2011 06:44 PM

Wait are you saying the surgery will fix his thing for curvy redheads?

k0k0 Sep 22nd, 2011 06:50 PM

I don't think anything can fix my thing for curvy redheads. That shit is ingrained is nature's fault. Or at least my first girlfriend's.

Kitsa Sep 22nd, 2011 06:52 PM

This is making me only slightly less uncomfortable than the gathering where I heard, "Man, if you wasn't my cousin..."

k0k0 Sep 22nd, 2011 06:55 PM

Don't worry man, I'm not gonna be the kind of ghost who shows himself to your family. I'll just be the kind of ghost who hangs out and watches shit go down. And also I'll probably be rattling things and changing the channels of your tv to things I would rather watch. You can't be a ghost without rattling shit.

b_squared Sep 22nd, 2011 07:00 PM

No the surgery will cure the nasal whistle heard while doing a curvy redhead.

b_squared Sep 22nd, 2011 07:02 PM

Haunt Kitsa's neighbors. That should be entertaining as hell.

k0k0 Sep 22nd, 2011 07:05 PM

I just told one of my best friends that my final wish if I do die in surgery is that he names his first child Kevin Jr, regardless of it's sex. He refused. What an asshole. You can't deny the last wishes of a good compadre. So I made sure my roommate pesters him until he does it.

Kitsa Sep 22nd, 2011 07:17 PM

If you're haunting my neighbors, could you please see if they're stealing our cable?

Pram Maven Sep 22nd, 2011 09:17 PM

My bowel disease is out of remission, so I'll also be leaving. Sorry, guys. Health takes priority over screwing around on a humor site.

I have a bleeding ulcer and can take pictures of my stools if you like. It's mostly diarrhea, though.

Kitsa Sep 22nd, 2011 09:37 PM

I think the majority opinion is that they've been looking at it for a while.

I didn't say it, but I think that's what the prevailing sentiment is.

Pentegarn Sep 22nd, 2011 09:37 PM

So a shitty poster is stopped by shit

Ironic

Colonel Flagg Sep 22nd, 2011 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 743241)
I think the majority opinion is that they've been looking at it for a while.

I didn't say it, but I think that's what the prevailing sentiment is.

PICKLE!

Colonel Flagg Sep 22nd, 2011 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 743230)
This is making me only slightly less uncomfortable than the gathering where I heard, "Man, if you wasn't my cousin..."

What is a virgin in a redneck family?

A girl that can run faster than all her brothers.

Rongi Sep 22nd, 2011 10:01 PM

This adderall I bough a week ago fucking sucks. I took it at 3:30, it wore off around 8:30

What the fuck >:

Pram Maven Sep 22nd, 2011 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pentegarn (Post 743242)
So a shitty poster is stopped by shit

Ironic

Next, on 1000 Ways To Die...

Rongi Sep 22nd, 2011 10:02 PM

now i'm tired and i have no interest in going over my biology notes :(

Colonel Flagg Sep 22nd, 2011 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pram Maven (Post 743240)
[...] I'll also be leaving. Sorry, guys. [...]

Don't worry, you'll be back. :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pram Maven
I [...] can take pictures of my stools [...].


Kitsa Sep 22nd, 2011 10:04 PM

I wish I could say I'd only heard it once.

What's that saying about going to a family reunion to pick up women?

Rongi Sep 22nd, 2011 10:06 PM

ATTENTION ADDERALL USERS (i know one of you dorks has a prescription for this shit)

How do I convince a Doctor that I need this stuff? I think I legitimately have good reason, whenever I'm on the stuff I get way more shit done and I'm much less distracted


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