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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Grislygus Oct 7th, 2011 10:53 PM

SHOULD HAVE DRESSED LIKE A WOMAN AND TITILLATED THE REPESSED FATTIE DMV WORKER

ALSO WHY DO YOU NOT ALREADY HAVE A LICENSE

Emu Oct 7th, 2011 11:02 PM

both you and my girlfriend kahl :(

Grislygus Oct 7th, 2011 11:06 PM

Holy shit, you're back :eek

Emu Oct 7th, 2011 11:07 PM

I've been posting for at least a week man where you been at.

kahljorn Oct 7th, 2011 11:08 PM

i never needed a license and my parents didn't let me getone when i was younger.

Grislygus Oct 7th, 2011 11:14 PM

Dammit emu, now I have to catch up on a week's worth of posts

ThrashO Oct 7th, 2011 11:15 PM

Uncle gus, Pram Maven is banned. Also, my lover left me and I cried in a thread.

lol

k0k0 Oct 7th, 2011 11:15 PM

The lady who passed me at the driving school only did so because she had a thing for me. I was 17 so it wasn't that bad. She said that she really shouldn't be doing this, but I was such a great guy and I had to promise to her that I'd work hard at practicing driving and not go out til I was ready. The next week I took a job as a delivery driver.

ThrashO Oct 7th, 2011 11:20 PM

"Don't drive yet, Don't tell anyone, Stop burying my dead body."

Fucking stupid bitches man :rolleyes

k0k0 Oct 7th, 2011 11:25 PM

I haven't been in a wreck in the 12 years I've been driving since then, so I can't be that bad.

ThrashO Oct 7th, 2011 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 745911)
Dammit emu, now I have to catch up on a week's worth of posts

DID U REALIZE SOMEONE TORE UR PICKLES OUT

Grislygus Oct 7th, 2011 11:31 PM

man, the pickles were retarded to begin with, I seriously thought it was a joke when it was implemented

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThrashO (Post 745912)
Uncle gus, Pram Maven is banned. Also, my lover left me and I cried in a thread.

lol

Wait, did he actually manage to piss somebody off, or was he just released into the wild for his own good

ThrashO Oct 7th, 2011 11:40 PM

I think the official reason was "Rape, Molestation and being from Portland, Oregon."

Emu Oct 7th, 2011 11:42 PM

A few years ago I didn't think anybody here liked me ;~;

Grislygus Oct 7th, 2011 11:45 PM

EMU YOU ARE A FAVORITE. WHATCHOO TALKIN BOUT WILLIS.

Grislygus Oct 7th, 2011 11:49 PM

maaaaaan I'm wierdly disappointed now that I know the anticlimactic reason for the new Chat Title

Emu Oct 7th, 2011 11:51 PM

And what do I do with all these spare boners!

Emu Oct 7th, 2011 11:54 PM

So the Simpsons might be ending. That's the best news I've heard all day.

kahljorn Oct 8th, 2011 12:05 AM

WERE YOU EXPECTING A PICTURe OF MY ASS, GRISLYGUS

WERE YOU ANTICIPATING IT AS YOU READ THROUGH THE ENTIRE CHAT THREAD, DESPERATELY LOOKING FOR A PHOTO

Grislygus Oct 8th, 2011 12:14 AM

I WAS EXPECTING SHATTERED ARCHAEOLOGICAL EVIDENCE OF DEPRAVED FILTH, SWEPT OVER BY THE SANDS OF TIME AND MOD ACTIVITY

I WAS DISAPPOINTED

k0k0 Oct 8th, 2011 12:17 AM

Emu, it was supposed to end after this season because of the talks not working but they came to an agreement that extends it 2 more seasons to 25 years. Fucking simpsons. And the actors didn't even get anything they wanted out of it. They caved and fox laughed with their big fat wallets. Of course the voice actors have big fat wallets too. Just not as fat as fox's.

Kitsa Oct 8th, 2011 12:19 AM

It's weird that you mention the drivers ed passing thing because the lady down the street was just over today telling me she'd gotten in an accident and her car got totaled. By a 16 year old kid who was on his way back from getting his license.

I had to take an AAA-sponsored driver's ed class to get a learner's permit, before they decided I couldn't drive because of the neuro stuff. It was the dumbest shit ever....seventies scare movies, and we had to read a chapter and take a test, and that was all they expected of us. I took the class with an older friend who had lived in big cities all her life and never had to drive. Basically we goofed off the whole time. Then on the last day this hillbilly zipped around a corner too fast in his IROC-Z and t-boned the instructor. We laughed until we just about peed ourselves.

Emu Oct 8th, 2011 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 745932)
WERE YOU EXPECTING A PICTURe OF MY ASS, GRISLYGUS

thread does not deliver

k0k0 Oct 8th, 2011 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 745936)
It's weird that you mention the drivers ed passing thing because the lady down the street was just over today telling me she'd gotten in an accident and her car got totaled. By a 16 year old kid who was on his way back from getting his license.

I had to take an AAA-sponsored driver's ed class to get a learner's permit, before they decided I couldn't drive because of the neuro stuff. It was the dumbest shit ever....seventies scare movies, and we had to read a chapter and take a test, and that was all they expected of us. I took the class with an older friend who had lived in big cities all her life and never had to drive. Basically we goofed off the whole time. Then on the last day this hillbilly zipped around a corner too fast in his IROC-Z and t-boned the instructor. We laughed until we just about peed ourselves.

I forgot about the class stuff. I took that in school from one of the coaches. We watched Jerry Springer most of the time in class and only talked about cars a few times. One time he took us to show us the engine and how to check the oil levels in his truck and there were beer cans strewn about the bed of his truck. He was the same coach who in gym class told me he was going to turn my small arms into big muscley things and gave up after I couldn't lift the bar.

Colonel Flagg Oct 8th, 2011 01:01 AM

Signal 30 was a great motion picture. Oscar-worthy.

kahljorn Oct 8th, 2011 01:02 AM

there was some dumb side street that i was supposed to keep clear i guess even though nobody was there and the light was green for me, and I didn't so i failed. even though i only had 6 errors.

lame

ThrashO Oct 8th, 2011 01:05 AM

I failed my first driving test because I rolled through a stop sign. >:

also I did some landscaping today for a woman who is having a wedding tomorrow. basically she has an acre of land with all kinds of flower beds and I see about 25 bails of pine straw and she's like "spread these throughout all the beds" and I'm like "ok" so she leaves and I'm like "fuck that shit ima chill" so I just lay down in the grass and sleep for about 8 hours and she comes back and is like "why havent you done anything the wedding is TOMORROW" and im like "bich fuk u" and farted.

Fathom Zero Oct 8th, 2011 03:00 AM

http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69707698

thread bups

Sethomas Oct 8th, 2011 04:07 AM

Elx- One of my favorite albums is "Haunted" by Poe. I have been told that it's ideal for your intentions. Just don't let it go past 40 minutes or so unless you belong to certain subcultures.

My driver's ed experience was significant to me because it was one of the first times when I got to be exposed to kids my own age, outside of my high school classmates. Most of my classmates took driver's ed during summer school, I took a course in a nearby town. I remember that I felt really old for some reason in that group. Granted, I was a sophomore and the other kids were mostly freshmen, but it seemed like they belonged to a totally different world. I thought about how weird it would be to date one of them. Nowadays, when I run into my high school classmates, the idea of dating with any of my nascent dreamgirls just seems incestuous.

Also, Hi Kahl and Emu. Among others, I guess.

kahljorn Oct 8th, 2011 04:27 AM

hello

Sethomas Oct 8th, 2011 04:36 AM

Are we all posting here because it is the time of The Gathering? Or are we just all indignant about our stupid friends with their stupid obsession with their stupid reddit?

Emu Oct 8th, 2011 12:13 PM

since it seems like a flood of vets are congregating in this thread it must be time for another MOCK WARZ

Esuohlim Oct 8th, 2011 02:51 PM

In only the last month and a half we've gotten I think four people back who haven't posted in ages (Rongi, Emu, Ninjavenom, Seth). It's like you are all turtles looking for a fuck and I-Mock is your Galapagos Island.

That probably doesn't make any sense if that one Rocko's Modern Life episode was based on false information >:

10,000 Volt Ghost Oct 8th, 2011 03:08 PM

is there a STIHL KOMBI in YOUR tool shed?????

k0k0 Oct 8th, 2011 03:33 PM

Nobody here is wearing disco clothes, that I've seen, so I'm guessing this ain't the Galapagos.

Ninjavenom Oct 8th, 2011 08:46 PM

i'm here for both the turtle fucking and reddit hate


also for the i-bapery theme

Rongi Oct 9th, 2011 12:18 AM

i heard hawt chicks posted here and they posted her naked about how they're naked and hot and boobs

Chojin Oct 9th, 2011 02:00 AM

i-bapery unites our people under a common flag

ThrashO Oct 9th, 2011 03:09 AM

So when I lived in Seattle I used to steal alot of shit from the store. Like a ton. I wasn't making alot of money, was a full time student and was not on good terms with my parents.

So I was talking to this guy I work with about it (talking about drugs and other past experiences) and he got really offended saying shit like "It's people like you who cause businesses to run into the ground, I helped open a radio shack in the ghetto part of Durham and we could never make a profit because scumbags were CONSTANTLY stealing."

Who the fuck opens a Radioshack in the ghetto and expects to make a profit?

Vyvyan Basterd Oct 9th, 2011 03:53 AM

What an ignorant fuck.

Rongi Oct 9th, 2011 05:02 AM

so i basically went from not smoking weed for a year and a half to smoking weed pretty much every day multiple times a day

the marijuana got me in it spell

HickMan Oct 9th, 2011 12:34 PM

Hey guys I'm still alive and still on my super awesome 'travel around Afghanistan' vacation!

Hope all is well

-Doucher

Colonel Flagg Oct 9th, 2011 07:06 PM

Great news. You should keep a "travelblog" to rate all the "hidden treasure" B&B's around Khandahar. I can see it now: Kabul on $15 a day.

Fathom Zero Oct 9th, 2011 07:17 PM

kabul and kabullets

Even though Kabulletz sounds Jewish.

kahljorn Oct 9th, 2011 11:33 PM

i helped somebodymove and scored a bottle of johnny walker gold

Grislygus Oct 10th, 2011 02:10 AM

I heard someone say Johnny Walker and Gold in the same sentence. Now I have a raging hardon

Fathom Zero Oct 10th, 2011 02:34 AM

LA VIDA

kahljorn Oct 10th, 2011 04:08 AM

lol

their room mate leftit so i was all, "GUESS hE LEFT THIS FOR ME."

what a dumbass

Zhukov Oct 10th, 2011 08:40 AM

Here's me thinking you were rewarded for your hard work :lol

Kitsa Oct 10th, 2011 09:15 AM

Ohio Amish splinter group attack enemy Amish to hack off beards.

They're calling it "Amish on Amish violence".

executioneer Oct 10th, 2011 09:26 AM

a man named Mullet is inspiring people to do crimes related to hair

what a world we live in

Zhukov Oct 10th, 2011 09:43 AM

Do they ride bikes? The Amish I mean.

Kitsa Oct 10th, 2011 10:04 AM

Bikes and razor scooters.

Kitsa Oct 10th, 2011 10:07 AM

Actually, I should also mention that most of the time when they travel around here it's either on tractors (they're allowed to drive tractors, some of them, so they use those in lieu of cars...we have a man who sells corn on a corner lot and hauls his whole family there and back on a tractor, going 5-10 mph on a busy street) or what we call "Yoder toters". Yoder Toters are those big vans that have a lot of seats, like what some churches use to haul people around. They're Amish taxis- the Amish pay people to drive them somewhere.

Fathom Zero Oct 10th, 2011 01:30 PM

That's cheating, like the Jews using their special Shabbat elevators.

Kitsa Oct 10th, 2011 03:38 PM

I live in the middle of Amish country, and there are Yoder Toters everywhere. The worst places are Walmart, Jo-Ann Fabrics and Meijer, which for out-of-area people is a walmartish store. Our Meijer has a hitching post out front as well, although I've only seen it used once.

A couple of weeks ago, we were stuck behind an Amish man on a tractor pulling his whole family in the trailer behind him, Beverly Hillbillies style. There was even an old woman in a rocking chair in the trailer. The scariest thing was that there were 3 small boys on a bench. There was no backrest on the bench and the seat was higher than the back of the trailer, and there was nothing holding them in. Every time the tractor would lurch forward, the kids would all rock backward and look like they were going to fall out, because the bench wasn't affixed and would tip. I kept expecting to see these kids' heads crack open like melons on the street in front of us.

And it's Sukkot, so expect to resent Jews eating outside, too.

kahljorn Oct 10th, 2011 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer (Post 746151)
a man named Mullet is inspiring people to do crimes related to hair

what a world we live in

:lol thats exactly what i said

Esuohlim Oct 10th, 2011 04:19 PM

This one's for all my fellow synchtube CHUMS. I was listening to a podcast with Jon Hamm as the guest and he brought up the fight on Youtube between Rip Torn and Norman Mailer :lol



Except he thought it was real because he was like "it was crazy, people thought to bring CAMERAS and there were children present and it was pretty surreal"

executioneer Oct 10th, 2011 04:32 PM

i think it was originally supposed to be a scene but one of them took things too far and they just kept the cameras rolling

Fathom Zero Oct 10th, 2011 08:45 PM

That's what most people say. Rip Torn would make a good Jack Torrance.

kahljorn Oct 10th, 2011 09:33 PM

fuck that guys name

its way too redundant

ThrashO Oct 10th, 2011 10:17 PM

THE RIPPIN' AND THE TORIN'


Esuohlim Oct 11th, 2011 02:58 PM

Happy National Coming Out Day, all you sexy men ;)

Fathom Zero Oct 11th, 2011 03:00 PM

;););)

Esuohlim Oct 11th, 2011 03:01 PM



lol

Kitsa Oct 11th, 2011 03:37 PM

16 Zombie actors injured on movie set, costumes make it difficult to assess injuries.

Emu Oct 11th, 2011 04:20 PM

I have an interview tomorrow at a department store in the mall. Wish me luck >:

Esuohlim Oct 11th, 2011 04:35 PM

Good luck >:

10,000 Volt Ghost Oct 11th, 2011 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emu (Post 746275)
I have an interview tomorrow at a department store in the mall. Wish me luck >:

I HOPE YOU GET ONE OF THOSE $5 MALL GIFT CARDS.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 746272)


lol

I'm going to bring a door frame to dance through at the Toasters tonight now.

Rongi Oct 11th, 2011 05:00 PM

Got a 97 on my first German exam, y'all :hat

Fathom Zero Oct 11th, 2011 05:08 PM

Das ist kein Deutsch forum. >:

Rongi Oct 11th, 2011 05:19 PM

Fich dich, Fathom Zero >:

Fathom Zero Oct 11th, 2011 05:22 PM

:eek

ET TOI, CONNARD

:deslangues

kahljorn Oct 11th, 2011 08:31 PM

i like to think that said SUCK DICK, FATHOM

also I passed my drivers test today

Rongi Oct 11th, 2011 11:49 PM

My German Professor teaches us German curses on Thursdays. It's rather amusing hearing such a pixieish young lady say things like "Du hast keine Eier!" (you have no balls) or "Leck mich am Arsch!" (eat shit)

Did I mention i have a huge crush on my german teacher

Kitsa Oct 12th, 2011 12:35 AM

"Scheisse!" The Real German You Were Never Taught in School

kahljorn Oct 12th, 2011 12:58 AM

tell her you want to shit in her mouth

germans love that

Rongi Oct 12th, 2011 12:58 AM

I must say, I've been picking up German at a pretty quick pace. English is starting to get spoken less and less in class, but I'm not getting lost at all. I'm considering declaring German as a minor

Kitsa Oct 12th, 2011 12:59 AM

German's a quick stepping-stone leap from English.

Except for the German the Amish speak, I can barely make heads or tails of that. I think it's its own creature.

Rongi Oct 12th, 2011 01:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 746350)
tell her you want to shit in her mouth

germans love that


kahl have you ever pooped on a girl

i don't know why but something tells me you have

kahljorn Oct 12th, 2011 01:04 AM

I AM A MYSTERIOUS CREATURE

Rongi Oct 12th, 2011 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 746352)
German's a quick stepping-stone leap from English.

Yeah, part of the reason I'm picking it up so easy is because of how similar a lot of the words sound to English. Learning the genders of words isn't that hard either,i find that often ugly sounding words tend to be male (herd, kühlshrank) and dainty words are female (brille, lampe). Also, i find it kind of amusing that pretty much all kitchenware is female

Rongi Oct 12th, 2011 01:10 AM

i have never had any desire to poop on a female.

REAL TALK: the first girl i ever had sex with wanted to incorporate blood and bleeding into our sex life. i was always like "no way, man"

Kitsa Oct 12th, 2011 01:13 AM

There are a few "false friends", though...my brother still cherishes the photo my parents took of him as an adolescent in Heidelberg, pointing proudly to a "FAHRTGASSE" sign.

Kitsa Oct 12th, 2011 01:15 AM

what I get for reading while sleepy


Quote:

Originally Posted by Rongi (Post 746361)

REAL TALK: the first girl i ever had sex with wanted to incorporate blood and bleeding into our sex life. i was always like "no way, man"


kahljorn Oct 12th, 2011 01:20 AM

darkvare: soy de mexico

:lol he's a soy beaner

executioneer Oct 12th, 2011 03:47 AM

HOORAY NEW AVATAR

kahljorn Oct 12th, 2011 06:01 AM

ITS goNNA gIVe PEOPLE SEIZUReS

executioneer Oct 12th, 2011 12:23 PM

awesome seizures?

Kitsa Oct 12th, 2011 01:30 PM

out of context he kind of looks like Bald Bull

captain516 Oct 12th, 2011 02:48 PM

WHERE ARE HIS NIPPLES

Aaarg Oct 12th, 2011 03:35 PM

some store in a different town had three brands of hard cider i've never had so i had to buy them all

it will be an apple-centric evening

executioneer Oct 12th, 2011 03:55 PM

were any of them Spire

ThrashO Oct 12th, 2011 03:58 PM

your avatar makes me have to poop >:

brb

HickMan Oct 12th, 2011 04:12 PM

UPDATE:

The smell of Polish Sausage and Afghan poop is NOT a palatable combination.

Aaarg Oct 12th, 2011 04:40 PM

nope, not spire. original sin "premium" (10 bucks for a six pack it'd better be good! it won't be!), samuel smith's (organic!), and blackthorn (which just makes me think of the game. this one is an english import so i bet it's dry dry dry dry)

k0k0 Oct 12th, 2011 10:56 PM

I wonder how long spiders take to starve. Because apparently they can live floating in water for 5 days. I found a spider that was a little less than the size of a dime sitting at the bottom of a plastic cup I had in my bathroom. I poured a little water in and he came to life, but never really pulled himself out. So he just floats there and paddles around if I make the water move. And it's been like this for 5 days.

Fathom Zero Oct 12th, 2011 10:58 PM

Book lungs are so cool. And green.

executioneer Oct 12th, 2011 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaarg (Post 746450)
nope, not spire. original sin "premium" (10 bucks for a six pack it'd better be good! it won't be!), samuel smith's (organic!), and blackthorn (which just makes me think of the game. this one is an english import so i bet it's dry dry dry dry)

i just ask because spire's made by a microbrewery in downtown olympia (and is pretty tasty)

Grislygus Oct 12th, 2011 11:23 PM

STOP DISTRACTING FROM AND IGNORING HICKMAN >: GRR


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