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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

captain516 May 2nd, 2012 12:13 PM

Chojin I saw this comic And I instantly thought of you

Aaarg May 2nd, 2012 04:07 PM

can i talk about i=mockery here??? can i mention that i hate whenever i see the name of keith apocethary or whatever??????? because i do.fuck that guy

Aaarg May 2nd, 2012 04:09 PM

also that straight-edge dude in the comic is having sex and smoking cigarettes

Babs May 2nd, 2012 04:44 PM

Keith's apothecary

Esuohlim May 2nd, 2012 05:10 PM

KNOW HOW TO EAT

Big McLargehuge May 2nd, 2012 08:22 PM

;).



Fat pride.

Chojin May 2nd, 2012 10:00 PM

http://www.naafaonline.com/dev2/

Dimnos May 2nd, 2012 10:48 PM

Somehow I'm a little shocked by that.

Kitsa May 2nd, 2012 11:13 PM

I was in line at Walmart behind three people who would be classified as way morbidly obese. I don't want to be an asshole about it, but they weren't exactly confounding stereotypes. The first person had two carts that were literally spilling over with bags of chips, boxes of snack cakes and cartons of soda. She didn't even bother to lift the soda out of the cart so the cashier could scan it- cashier had to come around with the gun and sift through the cart scanning things the customer couldn't be bothered to put on the belt.

The second person had a kid who was grabbing random candy bars off the displays, opening them, and eating them. I had plenty of time to watch, because Walmart only had two fucking registers open and the other option wasn't any better. The kid ate three candy bars and the mom just said, "Keep the wrapper so we can tell her what you ate."

The third was on a motorized cart, which she randomly backed into me because she was on a cellphone and not paying a damn bit of attention. She kept blabbing on the cell and didn't even acknowledge the cashier or bother to put anything on the belt, which was within easy reach. The cashier had to lean over to pick up the 20 or so premade sub sandwiches out of the basket.

So yeah, there are a lot of assumptions based on weight but these people weren't the greatest ambassadors. Of course, it was Walmart.

Colonel Flagg May 2nd, 2012 11:24 PM

:puke

Esuohlim May 3rd, 2012 12:04 AM

It's like there's one collective Walmart and every store in the country has a front door that teleports you there. I've been to a Walmart in one of the most upscale neighborhoods in the state, probably the country, and the same horrible, horrible stereotypical people you'd see in any other Walmart are shopping there. Unsettling.

Zhukov May 3rd, 2012 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by naafa
We Come in All Sizes

No we don't. We come in roughly similar sizes, and then some people add a shitload more onto that that they shouldn't.


Fat people don't phase me unless they're being wankers, like the ones Kitsa always meets.

Kitsa May 3rd, 2012 12:45 AM

I remember seeing a dad kick his kid's ass in the middle of the school supply aisle once and that was a pretty classy Walmart experience.

I was sort of on the fringe of the situation but this dad was being an idiot with his middle-school aged kid, kept shoving him with a binder that had a horse on it and saying he should get that because he was a horse's ass. I didn't even know parents called their kids horse's asses, or that anyone even used that term anymore, but this guy did. The kid eventually asked his dad to be quiet and that's when the guy picked the kid up by his shirt and slammed his head into the metal display racks.

I'm not really clear on what happened after that because there were a lot of people on it but I'm really hoping the guy got his ass stomped.

Zhukov May 3rd, 2012 12:50 AM

Oh man. I wish we had Walmart here. We have a similar thing, called Big W, which is basically Walmart, but something tells me that it takes a certain je ne sais quoi to attract the mentals that I really want to see.

Kitsa May 3rd, 2012 12:56 AM

For that crowd it's more a je ne sais pas thing.

I think it's just a gleaming beacon that draws a certain type there like moths to a flame. Sort of like all-you-can-eat buffets, which I also loathe.

zeldasbiggestfan May 3rd, 2012 01:17 AM

A friend of mine put a nice image in my head about all you can eat buffets (while eating at one, of course). He told me about this huge ass black lady he saw in front of him getting some mashed potatoes. The lady reached over the gravy, and scooped up some of 'dem taters. Well the lady was sweating pretty bad, and he said he swore that he saw a couple of drops of sweat slide down her arm and into the gravy.

Tasty.

Bastard ruined my meal too. Fucker.

Kitsa May 3rd, 2012 01:28 AM

I'm sure that happens, and worse.

I went to one buffet that had one of those self-serve ice cream machines. A man was holding his kid on his hip and talking to someone. The kid had her finger up her nose. Then she reached out and put the same finger up the nozzle of the machine, then stuck it in her mouth, then back into her nose...and the process repeated a couple of times.

I already wasn't in love with the place because of random rubberbands in my noodles but that really tipped it in.

kahljorn May 3rd, 2012 02:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 758571)
It's like there's one collective Walmart and every store in the country has a front door that teleports you there. I've been to a Walmart in one of the most upscale neighborhoods in the state, probably the country, and the same horrible, horrible stereotypical people you'd see in any other Walmart are shopping there. Unsettling.

was it a sunday?

cuz poor families love to get dressed up in their sunday best and goto the nice walmart

Dimnos May 3rd, 2012 11:31 AM

Never eat at buffets for those exact reasons. Never.

I have never seen any of these kinds of people in Walmart. Probably because the few times I have had to shop at a walmart, I kept my head down and got out as fast as I could.

Also... Rich upscale people dont like to clean their shit, there are always lesser types around to do that. Wherever you find "classy" people, you find scum too.

Colonel Flagg May 3rd, 2012 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 758577)
I went to one buffet that had one of those self-serve ice cream machines. A man was holding his kid on his hip and talking to someone. The kid had her finger up her nose. Then she reached out and put the same finger up the nozzle of the machine, then stuck it in her mouth, then back into her nose...and the process repeated a couple of times.

Time for lunch .... :x

kahljorn May 3rd, 2012 03:10 PM

most of the wealthy people i knew acted like they were poorer than poor people. This one lady bought steaks from the dollar store.

Esuohlim May 3rd, 2012 03:31 PM

I've got a friend who's been poor all his life and now as an engineer he's suddenly making more money than he knows what to do with, but he still eats Ramen for lunch and sleeps on a twin-bed mattress on the floor and buys clothes at Target

10,000 Volt Ghost May 3rd, 2012 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 758593)
most of the wealthy people i knew acted like they were poorer than poor people. This one lady bought steaks from the dollar store.

But philly steakums and cheese are delicious. Slather some A1 and you're good to go.

Aaarg May 3rd, 2012 03:57 PM

oh my god i forgot steakums existed.

i grew up eating awful food.

so glad i'll never eat hamburger helper again.

kahljorn May 3rd, 2012 04:07 PM

haha wow i hate hamburger helper and i really hate tuna helper and part of why i hate tuna helper is because people think that it is acceptable

Dimnos May 3rd, 2012 04:32 PM

I like the cheesy potato hamburger helper you dicks.

Esuohlim May 3rd, 2012 04:56 PM

"The hamburger helper glove gave me a handjob" - Thrash0's next post

Colonel Flagg May 3rd, 2012 10:06 PM

:lol

Zhukov May 4th, 2012 12:11 AM

Hamburger helper looks disgusting. Who the fuck needs help creating pasta or hamburgers? They are two of the easiest meals to prepare.

Once again you fat, ugly, lazy Americans astound me. Swine.

Esuohlim May 4th, 2012 12:55 AM

We americans sometimes eat hamburger helper right out of the box when we can't be bothered to use a stove

Big McLargehuge May 4th, 2012 02:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 758619)
Hamburger helper looks disgusting. Who the fuck needs help creating pasta or hamburgers? They are two of the easiest meals to prepare.

Once again you fat, ugly, lazy Americans astound me. Swine.

I knew a girl from Tasmania and her mom would send her care packages that contained a product called "Burger Rings". They were delicious and we shared a bag.

Zhukov May 4th, 2012 07:45 AM

I have an aversion to MSG, so I can't eat Burger Rings, but I used to, and I know that they are delicious.

If I ever get you as a secret santa or something akin, I'll send you some.

Kitsa May 4th, 2012 10:39 AM

Zhukov sends excellent presents.

I can't deal with MSG either. Felt like it was giving my heart a seizure.

Babs May 4th, 2012 11:03 AM

Except his packages always have to disclose what's inside. God damn customs.

Aaarg May 4th, 2012 11:28 AM

you know the worst part about hamburger helper, tuna helper, and whatever other helper spin-offs they've made?

how fucking many they've made.

hanging tags for HELPR always took forever because there's like 40 of them and it's all the same shit.

fat fuck goddamn

Kitsa May 4th, 2012 12:12 PM

I dunno, since I cut out meat and dairy it almost feels like detox. I tried eating chicken yesterday and felt flat-out gross and sick afterwards.

In a man, that would be called pussification but it's ok because I'm a girl.

Tadao May 4th, 2012 01:52 PM

THAT'S DEBATABLE

Kitsa May 4th, 2012 01:56 PM

you got a problem with me, bunnyman?

kahljorn May 4th, 2012 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big McLargehuge (Post 758621)
I knew a girl from Tasmania and her mom would send her care packages that contained a product called "Burger Rings". They were delicious and we shared a bag.

perhaps you should post a picture of these cheeseburger rings

Tadao May 4th, 2012 02:19 PM

HOW RARE THAT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH PEOPLE

Tadao May 4th, 2012 03:24 PM

So, I just watched Top Shot S04 E07 and realized I need to bring my id down again. 20 years ago I tried to kill my id and it went as well as expected. I did become a way more balanced person though. Watching that episode just reminded me that it can spring out like a mexican on meth.

Fathom Zero May 4th, 2012 03:49 PM

ME VS. ME - TADAO EDITION

Tadao May 4th, 2012 04:00 PM

I bet my wife wont like it. :(

kahljorn May 4th, 2012 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 758638)
So, I just watched Top Shot S04 E07 and realized I need to bring my id down again. 20 years ago I tried to kill my id and it went as well as expected. I did become a way more balanced person though. Watching that episode just reminded me that it can spring out like a mexican on meth.

hm yes, i likeed xenogears too

Tadao May 4th, 2012 04:14 PM

I never played it. Or maybe I did in real life :eek

Spoilers!

kahljorn May 4th, 2012 06:06 PM

by the time i reached the final confrontation with id i had already vastly out-leveled him and he was basically pathetic and stood no chance against my level 3 combosand shit.

Kitsa May 4th, 2012 06:38 PM

I can no longer tell if these are psychoanalytical or gaming references

Fathom Zero May 4th, 2012 06:41 PM


10,000 Volt Ghost May 4th, 2012 08:30 PM

I'm glad I opened the chat thread while browning the beef for hamburger helper. You fucks.

Also MCA died >:

Tadao May 4th, 2012 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 758649)

I love jerking to that vid, also MCA :(

kahljorn May 4th, 2012 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 758648)
I can no longer tell if these are psychoanalytical or gaming references

both. the game has psychoanalytical references like you have to defeat his id
thats why its so hilarious to only me :(

Zhukov May 4th, 2012 11:31 PM

I'm really bummed about Adam Yauch. He has been a big part of my life. :(

Big McLargehuge May 5th, 2012 01:35 AM

Earlier I listened to License to Ill and cried. :(

Zhukov May 5th, 2012 01:46 AM

This is the only time I've ever gotten actually upset over a 'celebrity' death. I guess I know how MJ fans felt, now.

Yeah, I was listening to my Beastie Boys songs, and I cried when 'Something's Got To Give' came on.

Fathom Zero May 5th, 2012 01:47 AM

:|

AChimp May 5th, 2012 11:29 AM

Pussies.

kahljorn May 5th, 2012 11:44 AM

somebodfy from the beastie boys died?

damn just when i was starting to find their music bearable :(

Big McLargehuge May 5th, 2012 05:44 PM

Happy free comic book day!

10,000 Volt Ghost May 5th, 2012 10:09 PM

Happy cinco de drunko >:

Kitsa May 5th, 2012 10:14 PM

our local mexican restaurant is giving out free cinco de mayo shirts that say FREE GAS WITH EVERY MEAL

I was kind of surprised they went that route but maybe it was the ironic t shirt thing

10,000 Volt Ghost May 6th, 2012 03:13 AM

Saturday night and there is a zero fucking asshole count here.

Kitsa May 6th, 2012 06:29 AM

I tried to watch the meteor shower and failed miserably, maintaining my unblemished record of failed attempts to watch meteor showers.

Esuohlim May 6th, 2012 04:29 PM

Someone was murdered at the Kentucky Derby. Whoops!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/hor...r-mystery.html

Fathom Zero May 6th, 2012 04:32 PM

That sounds like something Fletch would investigate.

kahljorn May 6th, 2012 05:53 PM

i got a popup for this site i think or i have some kind of adware.

it was for a dating site and one of the girls names was thebombpussy and another was newboobs

also the site was called hornymatches.com

Tadao May 6th, 2012 07:32 PM

A pussy bomb sounds icky

Fathom Zero May 8th, 2012 12:49 PM

A friend threatened suicide last night because of finals and so I was with him all night and morning, consequently making me miss my final. Fuck him. I have never been filled with such rage.

kahljorn May 8th, 2012 01:36 PM

you could prolly get a retake for thata since you could call it an emergency and what not but thats prety gay especially on your part :lol

now you should go around acting like you want to commit suicide because you missed your final

kahljorn May 8th, 2012 01:38 PM

also mysister and this mullet wearingdude she brought over last night inadvertently killed a baby possum and its the most heart-wrenching thing ever maybe even worse than when brad pitt got shot :(

it looks like a little baby zebra puppy :(

Fathom Zero May 8th, 2012 03:14 PM

Yeah, I should've just let him kill himself.

This is ludicrous.

Tadao May 8th, 2012 03:29 PM

suicide is the ultimate final, he failed it

kahljorn May 8th, 2012 03:35 PM

u missed yoru final because he was nervous about his final thats fuckin retarded

what the hell is wrong with this guy is he gay or something why would he want a dude to keep him company like that did he cry on your shoulder all night

Fathom Zero May 8th, 2012 03:37 PM

I dunno if he'd cop to that, but he was bawling last night. Really ugly. I bought him ice cream.

Esuohlim May 8th, 2012 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 758751)
u missed yoru final because he was nervous about his final thats fuckin retarded

what the hell is wrong with this guy is he gay or something why would he want a dude to keep him company like that did he cry on your shoulder all night

Lol

Fathom this is why you study for finals alone so you don't keep getting roped into suicide watches

kahljorn May 8th, 2012 05:53 PM

he didnt even get a free watch he had to buy his girlfriend icecream

Fathom Zero May 8th, 2012 06:24 PM

The professor let me take it in his office about an hour ago.

CRISIS AVERTED

Esuohlim May 8th, 2012 07:42 PM

Your professor is a pussy too then

Fathom Zero May 8th, 2012 08:04 PM

YUPS

BUT I'M NOT GOING TO FAIL THIS NONSENSE

Fathom Zero May 8th, 2012 09:17 PM

http://www.stabsantacruz.com/

lol stab-o-meter

Kitsa May 9th, 2012 01:11 AM

I have a migraine hangover and start my next class in 9 hrs

should be great

Tadao May 9th, 2012 01:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 758771)

Like I said, lots of meth there. :eek

Aaarg May 9th, 2012 01:25 PM

:xmas3 you know what sucks about w33d? building a tolerance. :xmas3

Tadao May 9th, 2012 01:51 PM

You know what really sucks about weed? Losing that tolerance and never being able to smoke it ever again forevers

Esuohlim May 9th, 2012 02:37 PM

Hey Thrash0 and elx, your state is pretty gay

Aaarg May 9th, 2012 02:40 PM

(hey mine too)

i'm sure where they live had plenty of people on both sides

where i live everybody had yard signs VOTE FOR MARRIAGE and i haven't wanted to leave my house for weeks

Aaarg May 9th, 2012 02:40 PM

i've never wanted to burn down a church as much as i did when i first noticed "REMEMBER TO VOTE FOR MARRIAGE - ONE MAN, ONE WOMAN - ON MAY 8TH" on a church sign.

but then i noticed it on several more and decided i'd just burn down myself.

Esuohlim May 9th, 2012 03:27 PM

I don't understand why marriage is such a hot issue anyway. You always hear arguments like "if gays can marry each other, then what's next? People marrying their pets?!"

There are holes all over that argument as it is, but in all honesty if some dude wants to marry his realdoll then why should anyone else give a goddamn fuck about it

People are too righteous about really really dumb shit

Aaarg May 9th, 2012 03:53 PM

yeah they are. it's pretty disgusting.

and i know that stupid idiot bigots are everywhere, but maaaaaaaan, it seems to be... everybody in this town.

Fathom Zero May 9th, 2012 06:35 PM

I wrote my last paper on the Calypso yesterday.

I had a class on the Calypso.

It's as good as it sounds.


Esuohlim May 9th, 2012 07:58 PM

I'm continuing my futile efforts to enjoy music in the "post rock" genre. I have friends who spaz over that stuff. It's barely a step above ambient. :SNORE

kahljorn May 9th, 2012 10:15 PM

you mean like neurosis and godspeed you black emperor?

Esuohlim May 9th, 2012 10:52 PM

and Explosions in the Sky and Mogwai and Tortoise and Mono and it's all about the CRESCENDOS man.

kahljorn May 9th, 2012 11:17 PM

i hated mogwai and tortoise i think though

when you say its all about the crescendos do you mean they are a good band or are you being sarcastic

Fathom Zero May 10th, 2012 12:22 AM


Aaarg May 10th, 2012 09:36 AM

mogwai has 3 good albums but they're mostly good for sleeping and being woken up by some loud obnoxious noise and exclaiming "fuck mogwai" before going back to sleep

but then they released like 5 albums that all sound the goddamn same

the first explosions album is pretty good. godspeed has one or two good songs.

overall post-rock is post-boring.


furthermore,

Fathom Zero May 10th, 2012 10:23 AM

boooo gays

Kitsa May 10th, 2012 10:32 AM

The City of Dayton came up with a "domestic partnership registry" and I can never understand how the hell that's supposed to work when one tier of government says it's ok and a higher tier doesn't.

Aaarg May 10th, 2012 10:47 AM

hey queers you can "pretend marry" in dayton!!!!!!

i love how pa is standing so strong against all of its faggot-friendly neighbors. dear pennsylvania - get fucked.

Colonel Flagg May 10th, 2012 12:25 PM

From the state that gave the Republicans Rick Santorum. :(

Aaarg May 10th, 2012 12:35 PM

and gave the liberals "santorum"

almost a fair deal


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