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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

bigtimecow Feb 21st, 2010 02:14 AM

i just got cockblocked by the paper store. fuck girls working early tyhe next morning. i'm also drunk

Sam Feb 21st, 2010 02:24 AM

I BEEN COCKBLOCKED ALL DAY :(

executioneer Feb 21st, 2010 04:35 AM

i been cockblocked most of my life, by me

i fucking win again

Babs Feb 21st, 2010 05:47 AM

I broke some hymen's today while being intoxicated. I win.

executioneer Feb 21st, 2010 07:36 AM

excuse me but this is the getting cockblocked competition so you win shit

Pentegarn Feb 21st, 2010 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer (Post 673360)
GUYS BONER IS MISSING

He's Mr. Chekov's son you know. And comedienne Daniel Koenig's brother. And Jimmy Pardo's brother in law.

He has actually started some pretty funny moments on the Never Not Funny podcast.

I hope he's ok

Kitsa Feb 21st, 2010 12:34 PM

I think the president of Nigeria had very intense eyes, was a snappy dresser and was altogether worthy of the privilege.

RaNkeri Feb 21st, 2010 03:52 PM

MAN, THERE'S A VIRUS IN MY COMPUTER AND I'M IN DANGER OF GETTING MY ACCOUNT DELETED.
IT'S A GOOD THING THAT I-MOCKERY BOARDSUPPORT GAVE ME A LINK TO A WEBSITE WHERE I CAN RUN A VIRUS SCAN, I SURE AS HELL WOULDN'T WANT TO GET MY ACCOUNT DELETED AND ISP REPORTED :rolleyes

bigtimecow Feb 21st, 2010 07:55 PM

GUYS ITS MY BIRTHDAY AT MIDNIGHT OR WHATEVER AND I WANNA FUCK

Esuohlim Feb 21st, 2010 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaNkeri (Post 673389)
MAN, THERE'S A VIRUS IN MY COMPUTER AND I'M IN DANGER OF GETTING MY ACCOUNT DELETED.
IT'S A GOOD THING THAT I-MOCKERY BOARDSUPPORT GAVE ME A LINK TO A WEBSITE WHERE I CAN RUN A VIRUS SCAN, I SURE AS HELL WOULDN'T WANT TO GET MY ACCOUNT DELETED AND ISP REPORTED :rolleyes

You better watch it that virus is named Esuohlim and he can't be destroyed

Kitsa Feb 21st, 2010 08:34 PM

The car now makes a clunking sound in reverse.

Is this related to the fucknut who hit it yesterday (Y) (N)

Babs Feb 21st, 2010 08:39 PM

Make an insurance claim on it.

Kitsa Feb 21st, 2010 08:41 PM

It might be one of those things where the deductible is more than the repair, we'll have to see.

Either way, dammit and I fucking hate people.

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 21st, 2010 09:18 PM

Who is there insurance company kitsa? If you have their info make a claim. Don't let them give you cash or shit for it. I deal with this five days a week.

Kitsa Feb 21st, 2010 10:10 PM

Never received any contact from them. Called the nonemergency police line and were told to call back Monday (gotta love a town where the POLICE are CLOSED ON WEEKENDS), so we're going to hit them up first thing in the morning.

We had to take pictures and depart because I needed to get back to my newborn at my mom's house. The other party was, apparently, still shopping inside the store, and the kid they left in the car just stared at us and didn't really make contact.

Babs Feb 21st, 2010 10:24 PM

Sounds like they were from Portsmouth.

Colonel Flagg Feb 21st, 2010 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 673422)
The car now makes a clunking sound in reverse.

Is this related to the fucknut who hit it yesterday (Y) (N)

That would be (Y). Good thing you got pictures. Who knows, they may even help.

Colonel Flagg Feb 21st, 2010 11:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 673424)
It might be one of those things where the deductible is more than the repair, we'll have to see.

Either way, dammit and I fucking hate people.

I don't know the law in OH, but in PA if you are hit, file a claim and can PROVE the damage was from another vehicle, and they were completely at fault, then their insurance will have to cover the cost of your repair job. No deductible. No problem.

Of course, if they don't have insurance (which is illegal in PA, and probably the rest of the country, but you never know) then you're effed. You could sue them, but the likelihood is that they have no money anyway.

Either way, it's worth a shot. :)

HickMan Feb 22nd, 2010 02:44 AM

Fuck her! Fuck her brains out! Grab her ass squeeze her tits!

HickMan Feb 22nd, 2010 02:45 AM

PS guys its hickman

Esuohlim Feb 22nd, 2010 02:58 AM

:D

Babs Feb 22nd, 2010 03:09 AM

aka Milhouse

kahljorn Feb 22nd, 2010 06:24 AM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHUKOV ZHUKOVBY

AND ALSO THE FAT FOREIGN DUDE

Kitsa Feb 22nd, 2010 09:32 AM

I didn't know it was Zhukov's bday. Happy Birthday Zhukov. :)

MarioRPG Feb 22nd, 2010 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaNkeri (Post 673389)
MAN, THERE'S A VIRUS IN MY COMPUTER AND I'M IN DANGER OF GETTING MY ACCOUNT DELETED.
IT'S A GOOD THING THAT I-MOCKERY BOARDSUPPORT GAVE ME A LINK TO A WEBSITE WHERE I CAN RUN A VIRUS SCAN, I SURE AS HELL WOULDN'T WANT TO GET MY ACCOUNT DELETED AND ISP REPORTED :rolleyes

Why do we always get clumped together for this shit? :lol

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 22nd, 2010 12:01 PM

Happy Birthday Zhukov!
Happy birthday Rankeri!
Happy birthday Bigtimecow?

The Leader Feb 22nd, 2010 12:08 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHUKOV :O

YOU'RE OK TOO RANKERI

Esuohlim Feb 22nd, 2010 12:16 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TASMANIA
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FINLAND

The Leader Feb 22nd, 2010 12:30 PM

PS Happy birthday bigtimecow. :posh

bigtimecow Feb 22nd, 2010 12:47 PM

THANKS Y'ALL

Tadao Feb 22nd, 2010 01:20 PM

happy bday fgts

Esuohlim Feb 22nd, 2010 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Leader (Post 673468)
PS Happy birthday bigtimecow. :posh

THIS TOO W/E

Colonel Flagg Feb 22nd, 2010 01:38 PM

Sounds like quite a party today. Hooray for Zhuk, RannyK and BTC for making it through another year. :)

Tadao Feb 22nd, 2010 03:24 PM

It's my parents 46th annv today. :eek

Shrubfest Feb 22nd, 2010 03:44 PM

Cake and blowjobs for everyone, I hope?

bigtimecow Feb 22nd, 2010 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shrubfest (Post 673483)
Cake and blowjobs for everyone, I hope?

had the cake on saturday, the blowjob would be nice. hoepfully?

RaNkeri Feb 22nd, 2010 04:14 PM

Thanks guys

I got a birthday card from my parents that plays the Star Wars theme when it's opened, and I thought it was pretty cool until I realized that I'm a god damn nerd and that my mom and dad are aware of it :(

Babs Feb 22nd, 2010 04:17 PM

Happy birthday's bro, I'll be sure to hit up the hack for you guys. I got an extra pair of birkenstocks if you guys want to join.

Tadao Feb 22nd, 2010 04:30 PM

STFU before lose the few people who still talk to you.

YOU KNOW THAT WE HATE RANDOM UNORIGINAL PEOPLE

Babs Feb 22nd, 2010 04:31 PM

yo bro you're like harshing the mel.

kahljorn Feb 22nd, 2010 04:49 PM

jesus christ you dont even speak english anymore

Babs Feb 22nd, 2010 04:54 PM

brah naw dawg

kahljorn Feb 22nd, 2010 05:00 PM

YOU JUSTMKAE ME SO MAD

bigtimecow Feb 22nd, 2010 05:03 PM

SUCKA NIGGA
NIGGA NIGGA
I THROW THE SUCKA IN THE FRONT FOR THE ONES THAT FRONT

dudes i can't stop singing tribe called quest. they are so illllllllllllllllll

Colonel Flagg Feb 22nd, 2010 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 673481)
It's my parents 46th annv today. :eek

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shrubfest (Post 673483)
Cake and blowjobs for everyone, I hope?

OK, I admit this kind of creeped me out a little.

Happy anniversary, Tadao's progenitors. Have a pair of martinis on me. :)

Dimnos Feb 22nd, 2010 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BABALITY PANCAKES (Post 673500)
brah naw dawg

Congratulations! You have just joined the exclusive ignored list club! You will be hamming it up with the likes of Madona, KGPenis and Clemit. Hope you enjoy reach arounds because you will be giving plenty of them in your life. ;)

Tadao Feb 22nd, 2010 05:06 PM

I bet dad is gonna try to hump mom tonight. He tries every night actually.

Tadao Feb 22nd, 2010 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dimnos (Post 673514)
Congratulations! You have just joined the exclusive ignored list club! You will be hamming it up with the likes of Madona, KGPenis and Clemit. Hope you enjoy reach arounds because you will be giving plenty of them in your life. ;)

:lol all 3 are banned for life I think.

Dimnos Feb 22nd, 2010 05:08 PM

Tries? What? He aint got $20?










Dinner. Im talking about taking her out for dinner. Jerks. >:

Babs Feb 22nd, 2010 05:12 PM

that's just so wrong and unthoughtful

RaNkeri Feb 22nd, 2010 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dimnos (Post 673519)
Tries? What? He aint got $20?










Dinner. Im talking about taking her out for dinner. Jerks. >:


Babs Feb 22nd, 2010 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dimnos (Post 673514)
Congratulations! You have just joined the exclusive ignored list club! You will be hamming it up with the likes of Madona, KGPenis and Clemit. Hope you enjoy reach arounds because you will be giving plenty of them in your life. ;)

Don't you listen to Throwdown and Velvet Revolver?

Grislygus Feb 22nd, 2010 05:43 PM

OH MY GOD I MISSED EL POLLO LOCO AND ON THE BORDER WHEN I WAS STUCK IN OREGON :( SUCH DELICIOUSLY TERRIBLE FOOD

Grislygus Feb 22nd, 2010 05:51 PM

I have to admit that out of all the posters that annoy the shit out of me, Pancakes isn't really one of them










This could change, though

Dimnos Feb 22nd, 2010 06:17 PM

http://poopsenders.com/

:eek :x :lol

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 22nd, 2010 06:20 PM

Wait, why did Madonna get banned?

Dimnos Feb 22nd, 2010 06:25 PM

I thought it turned out to be JannetX and that she just quit posting under that name.

Tadao Feb 22nd, 2010 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 673528)
OH MY GOD I MISSED EL POLLO LOCO AND ON THE BORDER WHEN I WAS STUCK IN OREGON :( SUCH DELICIOUSLY TERRIBLE FOOD

Dude, El Pollo Loco USED to be good.

Actually, maybe my taste has just changed as no one can make chicken the way I like it anymore. :tear

Tadao Feb 22nd, 2010 06:33 PM

I think Babs and his IRL buddies have inside jokes and running gags that they think are funny, but then he uses them here and there is no prior reference to them. SO he's giggling like a little bitch and we think he should just shut the fuck up.


or he's a tard

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 22nd, 2010 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dimnos (Post 673532)
I thought it turned out to be JannetX and that she just quit posting under that name.

That's what I was thinking but couldn't be fo sho.

Fathom Zero Feb 22nd, 2010 06:43 PM


Grislygus Feb 22nd, 2010 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 673533)
Actually, maybe my taste has just changed as no one can make chicken the way I like it anymore. :tear

Anyone who knows shit about shit can cook a chicken better than a fast food place, I'm all about the fast, sloppy, low-quality burrito/taco goodness that Taco Bell somehow manages to fuck up all the goddamn time

The problem is that they always want to know if you want salsa and guacamole, and you're always like FUCK YES I WANT SALSA AND GUACAMOLE, because you forget that that shit hasn't stopped sucking ass since you last ordered there but you have to eat it anyway because it's like: "what am I supposed to do, eat my burrito and tortilla chips without salsa and guacamole? Screw that."

Tadao Feb 22nd, 2010 06:53 PM

Nah man, it's like crack. It'll never be as good as the first time, but you'll always try it every few months just to check for the rest of your life.

Dimnos Feb 22nd, 2010 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 673543)
Nah man, it's like crack. It'll never be as good as the first time, but you'll always try it every few months just to check for the rest of your life.

And it never is. Never. :tear

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 22nd, 2010 07:06 PM

Taco bell is terrible. I wish you guys had Mighty Taco.

Tadao Feb 22nd, 2010 07:27 PM

heh, i get taco bell chruchy taco cravings, not as bad as jacknthebox taco cravings though.

I used to get the 10 bean burritos from tacobell and then put what I couldn't finish in the fridge. next day I would deep fry those fuckers and they taste sooooooo good after a hangover.

Grislygus Feb 22nd, 2010 07:35 PM

Homemade salsa and guacamole is the best shit ever, everything else is either too chunky, too liquidy, and never spicy like any real human being wants

Grislygus Feb 22nd, 2010 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 673559)
but DUUUUUUUUUUDE Near Dark was the coolest movie ever :( With the cast from Aliens :( written and directed by Katherine Bigelow :( with the only decent synth-rock ending themesong ever to come out of the 80's :hypno LANCE HENRIIKSEN AND BILL PAXTON EXPLODING IN ATOMIC GODDAMN FIREBALLS IS WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY HERE :tear







"I TAUGHT SEVERIN EVERYTHING HE KNEW, BOY! But not everything I know...

The last thaang on earth that you'uh gonna hear is the sound of your guts, snnnnnnappin' like a bull-whip"

King Hadas Feb 22nd, 2010 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 673556)
Homemade salsa and guacamole is the best shit ever

Isn't homemade salsa dangerous?

Grislygus Feb 22nd, 2010 08:07 PM

I guess it could be if you made it out of tomatoes, peppers, onions, garlic, and cyanide

Kitsa Feb 22nd, 2010 08:25 PM

I saw a Del Taco in Janesville, WI and was like wtf. I thought that was all west coast.

King Hadas Feb 22nd, 2010 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 673566)
I guess it could be if you made it out of tomatoes, peppers, onions, garlic, and cyanide

Hey man I'm just trying to give you some helpful salsa advice. Prepared and canned wrong salsa makes a powerful growth medium for bacteria. Wouldn't you prefer eating a salsa you know is safe. Wouldn't you much rather enjoy the genuine mehican flavor of

Pace, a salsa brand you can trust? That's sa'll saI need to hear

Tadao Feb 22nd, 2010 09:07 PM

Your retort is mild and flavorless :tear

Grislygus Feb 22nd, 2010 09:18 PM

Why the hell would you can homemade salsa rather than serve it immediately? That's like making up a batch of chile con queso, pouring it into empty preserves jars and trying to store it in the cupboard


I'm honestly not trying to be a dick here, I'm befuddled

Tadao Feb 22nd, 2010 09:24 PM

I've seen El Pollo Loco clean defeather a chicken in the old days, but I've never seen them make a batch of guac. It probably comes canned from the home office.

King Hadas Feb 22nd, 2010 09:35 PM

You know how old people like to jar everything, or those types of people who cook an entire month's worth of dinners in one setting and then stores them for later. Someone sees that they've canned the stuff at the supermarket and thinks "why can't I do that?"

I'll admit it though, I don't know nothing about salsa. I remember my Sex Ed teacher back in JR high putting special emphasis on the dangers of homemade salsa in relation to how yeast infections work or something.

executioneer Feb 22nd, 2010 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 673575)
Why the hell would you can homemade salsa rather than serve it immediately? That's like making up a batch of chile con queso, pouring it into empty preserves jars and trying to store it in the cupboard


I'm honestly not trying to be a dick here, I'm befuddled

my mom makes seriously excellent canned (jarred? it's in jars) salsa and i've never gotten botulism from it

i'd go almost so far as to say it's better than any fresh salsa i've ever had, too

Pub Lover Feb 22nd, 2010 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by King Hadas (Post 673579)
I remember my Sex Ed teacher back in JR high putting special emphasis on the dangers of homemade salsa in relation to how yeast infections work or something.

That sounds more like a lesson of "Don't put salsa down your pants."

kahljorn Feb 22nd, 2010 10:12 PM

i love the dollar menu salads at el polo loco.

people jar their own food cause they hate you.

Tadao Feb 22nd, 2010 10:33 PM


<3<3<3<3<3

Colonel Flagg Feb 22nd, 2010 10:40 PM

Missed it by THAT much. :(

Tadao Feb 22nd, 2010 10:46 PM

Ok
Ugg
Boot
Delete

Pub Lover Feb 23rd, 2010 09:48 AM

Woo for the I-Bapery skin. ;D

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 23rd, 2010 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 673576)
I've seen El Pollo Loco clean defeather a chicken in the old days, but I've never seen them make a batch of guac. It probably comes canned from the home office.

Probably someone's office at home....upstairs.

Guitar Woman Feb 23rd, 2010 12:41 PM

Quote:

Dear, DeadKennedys;Guitar Woman;dead_pigeon;WTF;jimmy_tango!

A virus alert was noticed on your computer.
We highly recommend you to check your computer and perform online virus check at our site immediately: http://securitytool2010.com/DeadKennedys;Guitar Woman;dead_pigeon;WTF;jimmy_tango
If you do not pass this test* we will have to delete your account and forward a complaint to your ISP with attached log file (your IP address, etc.).
I wish you fuckbends would hurry up with that Bapery skin message alert so I don't miss out on incredibly important PMs like this!

Guitar Woman Feb 23rd, 2010 12:43 PM

Fuck, in a few months I'll have been posting here for 6 years.

WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH MY LIFE

The Leader Feb 23rd, 2010 03:00 PM

Not much, evidently. :\

Kitsa Feb 23rd, 2010 03:26 PM

I have had the same debt collection people harassing me for the better part of 2 years now, despite me assuring them that my name is not Greg and that I do not have the boat that he apparently stopped paying for.

Apparently Greg, whoever he is, gave some boat dealer my cellphone number and now he has a free boat >:

They've said they removed me from their list twice now...I think one more call and we're in cease-and-desist letter territory.

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 23rd, 2010 04:41 PM

That's a great grift though.

bigtimecow Feb 23rd, 2010 05:03 PM

my girlie got me this ill hoodie for my birthday

<3

Tadao Feb 23rd, 2010 05:05 PM

did you get sucked off too? ;)

bigtimecow Feb 23rd, 2010 05:44 PM

NOT YET

gonna see if she'll spend the night sometime this week though

SCHOOL/WORK/NOT LIVING ALONE :( IS A BITCH

elx Feb 23rd, 2010 05:57 PM

yap

Esuohlim Feb 23rd, 2010 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigtimecow (Post 673693)
my girlie got me this ill hoodie for my birthday

Did you get the Urkel that came with it :hat

Tadao Feb 23rd, 2010 09:05 PM

http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/the...reenshots-nsfw


kahljorn Feb 23rd, 2010 09:53 PM

im more concerned with wtfs up with that fools lips

Dimnos Feb 23rd, 2010 10:18 PM

Oh god I havnt :lol that hard in a while.

Tadao Feb 23rd, 2010 11:17 PM

WHo the fuck is Jake Cummins aka captainjakedness?

executioneer Feb 23rd, 2010 11:22 PM

one of jonathan clements bffs i think

Tadao Feb 23rd, 2010 11:24 PM

Ah, he is also Lord Lonic. He wants me to join his facebook. He's a fgt.


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