That new dog collar I got yesterday is a big success. I guess that was the answer...the dog thinks it's a horse, treat it like a horse and put a halter on its face. It trotted beside me and didn't pull once.

Excellent purchase for $18.

I love Jack in the Boxes Ultimate Cheeseburger. That fucker sits in your gut all day and you never get hungry again.

I have commercials for Jack in the Box but no Jack in the Box to be found. Same thing with Sonic. Closest one is in another state.

I want a Hardees to be built close to me so I can stop driving to Cleveland Ohio for it.

In my opinion, you're not really missing anything with Sonic. Some of their commercials have actually made me gag (the one where you dip the biscuit sandwich into a bowl of gravy) and the drinks just look flat-out unhealthy.

I don't know how ours stays open, there's never anyone there and there's a really good Culver's about 2 mins' walk from it.

We had a Sonic by my old place. I don't like eating in cars though.

Totally want Derby girls to bring me my food. I've been to a Po Boys before.

I'm filling out a reporter's questionnaire right now. I never know what to say and the temptation to make up interesting answers is great. :/ I'm bad at the publicity stuff.

Edited after a thought: It's always the same questions over and over again, I mean re: food art, maybe I should just write up something standard and give everyone the same prefab answer. It would be easier.

It would be consistent at least. Plus since you don't enjoy it you wouldn't have to really deal with it after you made your cheat sheet.

Well, one of the things that's always a problem is that it's mainly foreign reporters and it's hard making sure I'm going to be understood. I'm assuming they're asking me in English and then translating for their readers, and I don't know what the resultant article says anyway, so I have no idea what the hell they're saying about me.

Hehehehe, that's great for us.

bwahahahaha.......


Dear Prudence,
My boyfriend and I are in a healthy and loving relationship, and we are beginning to talk about marriage. We both want the same number of kids at the same point in our lives. It is presumed that these will be our biological children. The issue is, I'm not sure that I would want to bear my boyfriend's children. While he is incredibly intelligent and has a great personality, he is markedly less physically attractive than I am. We get occasional lighthearted comments from friends and family about the discrepancy. Having biological children has never been important to me, and I think adoption is great. I believe that he will be an amazing father and that our children, biological or adopted, would be bright and well-behaved as a result of good parenting. Should I bring these thoughts up with him? I think he would be open to the idea of adoption but would also be hurt by my rationale. At what point should we discuss this more seriously, and how should I tell him how I feel?
—Skinny Bitch
Dear Skinny,
You're wise to avoid the potential tragedy of reproducing with your boyfriend: Your children could get his looks and your personality. Perhaps your boyfriend's already got an inkling of how you feel because of the Leonardo DiCaprio mask you ask him to wear when you make love. And although Brad and Angelina are both fecund and support adoption, I'm not sure they're going to agree to place any of their future progeny with you just to help you avoid the embarrassment of having a child who looks like your boyfriend. I'm trying to imagine how you initiate this discussion with him. Something like: "I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you. But when it comes to having kids, I'm sure that if we adopt we'll have a better shot of having decent-looking ones than if I let you impregnate me with your hideous sperm." That should go over well! What's supposed to happen when you are in love with someone (who also happens to be intelligent and have a great personality) is that you discover, despite objective measures, that person is beautiful to you. Your boyfriend sounds like a catch, so maybe you should toss him back so that he has a chance to find someone who's not permanently stuck in the shallow end.
—Prudie

I wanna see pics of these two people.

Also, the end of the world has been fortold.

http://www.endofworld.net/

YOUR WORDS BURN THE AIR LIKE THE NAMES OF CANDY BARS

We'll probably never see pics of those two people, but I would love to.

She probably thinks of how much more attractive she is every time she looks at him.

:mikedoughtyforum

My front tooth just broke. Again.

These incidents are also known as the only times I ever actually say MOTHERFUCKER out loud.

Ugh.
That sucks.

My best friend had a bad accident on Mardi Gras this year.
She was standing on a barricade and just blacked out.
When she hit the street, one tooth broke and got shoved into her sinus cavity.
The other tooth went through her lip and ripped her chin open.

She is really talented at creative accidents/injuries like that.

She was standing on the barricade?

Mine is my own fault, I was gritting my teeth because of the dog, who is apparently in a "difficult" stage at the moment.

She invented a game. She starts barking frantically and whining to go outside.

Once out, she won't go to the bathroom. She prefers to stand and look around, or try to playfully tackle me. Bonus points if it's 20F or lower, or at night, or if I have dinner on the stove at the time.

She barked for the better part of 6 hours today and even learned to sniff her butt (used to be an absolute sign she needed to go) for added authenticity. Smart dogs = manipulative dogs.

I had a birthday day trip planned this weekend, since my actual birthday is an un-fun weekday. Now, instead of happily getting ready to go, I get to sit in a dentist chair and get a big ol' lidocaine shot up under my nose.

Motherfucker.

Who has 2 thumbs and will fuck your mom?

shit, I can't find a good pic of my dad with 2 thumbs up.

Yeah, she was standing on a partitioned concrete wall watching the parade.

Your dog sounds evil.

When you're standing outside in 10-degree windchill with the dog wanting to be let out just to have something to do, yeah, she feels pretty evil. Other times she's sweet.

My art history class is bullshit :( I studied my ass off and there was some shit on the test that I dont remember being in the lecture and wasn't in my edition of the book ;/ although my edition is a few editions old ;\

hey kitsa what edition is your gardners history through the ages? I need to know what painting influenced SEURAT? The two choices I remember were Mrs. Richard Brinsley Sheridan and The anatomy of dr. tulip but i can't remember the other ones ;\

she also said that half of the midterm would be an old quiz we took and only THREE OF THE PAINTINGS were even on the quiz and none of the multiple choice. Only one fuckingoiehaoughaouhgoeuahfgeagouheougheaouhgaeouh fdf

hahahaha I drive to Circleville, OH on certain occasions to get some Hardee's.

I have a Sonic right down the street and I totally slam there every once in a while. No Jack in the Box's in Ohio though.... Actually I know the only one; true god damn story.

we have 4 jacks in boxes, just last year we got a carl's jr (basically = hardees) but no sonics within almost 100 miles :( nearest one's almost in oregon. i like their slurpee-equivalents