I-Mockery Forum - So my friend Jake just broke his sternum.

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- - So my friend Jake just broke his sternum. (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69697462)

So my friend Jake just broke his sternum.

I come down to my landing to shut my door and I hear my other friend Taylor yell my name laughing his ass off. I see Jake desperate for breath, asking hard for a phone, nearly in tears. I laughed. I thought it was a joke and tried to move his shirt to see it and he began to cry out, almost crying again. That's when I realized it wasn't a joke. Fat bastard used my phone to call his mom and girlfriend who's about to break up with him. Mom was pissed, girlfriend didn't pick up.

So how did this ordeal happen? Oh my god, it's quite a story to yell. We like to fuck with people. Alot. Sometimes it's a little too much. Like tonight. Apparently the fuck brothers went out to yell at golfers in this huge ditch. Easy to hide in and mess with people. So they decide to go on a bridge leading to the other side where there's a barbed wire fence to keep people out of the course. So they yell and laugh their asses off. Taylor jumps off the bridge to the ground and runs yelling, cops! Run! So naturally my friend Jake jumps. He hears Taylor trip and laugh saying, "Watch out for the wire!"

Too late.

Jake trips on the wire. Did I mention he's about 240 lbs? Yeah. He lands right on his chest, laughing not realizing he's making it worse. Taylor laughing his ass off. When he stood he began to cry. Like not laughing actually hurt crying. Taylor takes him to my house to use the phone. His mom was enraged to say the very, very least. Then she saw his red eyes thinking he was high. She grabbed his shirt and pulls it up wanting to feel it. "IM A NURSE." Jake didn't care. So they took off, Taylor laughing hysterically, me trying hard not to laugh at my injured friend.

To add insult to injury, Taylor let him walk right into a sprinkler getting him nice and wet. He got colder and colder, SHIVERING with his chest severely hurt.

Taylor's a dick.

Fuck Taylor, man. Tell him to run a lap.

I would if he could. Smokin' smoker.

anything that hurts you, zelda, even if only by proxy, is okay by me!

When fat people play pranks on people? I mean you must KNOW you can't get away very fast so any injury should be expected.

It's a shame he didn't die just after he phoned his girlfriend, then the papers could've used the headline "fat kid dies of a broken heart/sternum.

I read all that and still have no idea what happened.

It's hard to explain unless you've seen the bridge/ditch thing.

How about some HAWT PIX PLZ then?

I didn't read it, but I'm willing to bet fat Austin and his fat friends had a harrowing adventure in physical ineptitude?

The only way you can break your sternum is if you're a a dickless fat fuck!

Since he is out of commission I demand he come over here and begin a "Hi! I'm new" thread. >:

I'm going to ask you a question, ZBF, and if you don't know the answer, or think the other guy hasn't got a clue, you can dare him to answer it for double the dollars. But be careful, because he can always double dare you back for four times the amount, and then you'll either have to answer the question or take the physical challenge!

Really, you should just answer the question since both of you have the coordination of a baby fawn wobbling on its first steps if the fawn was a fucking fat ugly retard who likes to fuck with people and write checks his hefty ass cant cash

Just as soon as he'd done it you should've hammer-punched him in the chest and then you could tell girls you once hammer-punched someone's sternum in half.

Everytime I skim past this topic, it looks like "My friend jake broke his rectum" and I can't help but think you had a hand in the accident. ;)

Seriously, STERNUM, I thought Jim Ross just made that word up. Like "trapezium".

Did someone stomp a mudhole in him?

Got word yesterday that he has some bad internal bruising and if it was any harder if would have literally snapped. Other than that he's got to lay around for 2 weeks. And Sevenforce I appreciate the question! Tell me please, I'm interested. How's it feel that mexicans hit your family members with sticks because they thought they were pinatas?

Just wondering.

you BROKE my STERNUM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zeldasbiggestfan (Post 503805)

you put this on the schools myspace forum too. but yeah, that sux 4 jake.

Quote:

Originally Posted by zeldasbiggestfan (Post 504101)

Tell me please, I'm interested. How's it feel that mexicans hit your family members with sticks because they thought they were pinatas?

Just wondering.

This racist garbage should warrant a banning!

...please? :)

Hey faggots, how bout we make a rule where you don't invite retarded people you know from other places to post here

I can't think of a funny way to say this, but YOU ARE GUILTY OF THAT MORE THAN ANYONE IN THE BIG WIDE WORLD

Except maybe mad max.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeadKennedys (Post 504078)

Everytime I skim past this topic, it looks like "My friend jake broke his rectum" and I can't help but think you had a hand in the accident. ;)

I thought it said 'Jake broke his scrotum"...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 504158)

I can't think of a funny way to say this, but YOU ARE GUILTY OF THAT MORE THAN ANYONE IN THE BIG WIDE WORLD

Except maybe mad max.

I am trying to attone for my horrible judgement ok don't be a dick

Also, I think it's worse than it seems because Atari Dragon has a dynamic IP and made like four accounts. And we shouldn't even count Skatermonkey, he signed up months before I even joined his failure of a community!