the bottles that came with our carbonation machine smell like chlorine.

ALMOND JOYS, 100 GRAND BARS, MCMENAMINS DIJON MUSTARD, AND A VINTAGE ISSUE OF HUSTLER MAGAZINE

AND A PACKAGE OF SALMON JERKY, FRESH FROM ALASKA

I got him a bunch of stuff from cracker barrel, too.

Fuck I want some salmon jerky now :( I'M NOT GONNA GET THAT SHIT IN CALIFORNIA, I CAN'T EVEN GET FRESH MUSSELS, AND OYSTERS ANYMORE >::(:(:(:(:( we're right next to the fucking OCEAN, why aren't there any decent seafood vendors in the area I AM DEPRIVED

Canned boiled peanuts!

they don't have salmon jerky or boiled peanuts in stores here, except at jungle jims, and if I go there I might as well send him a box of Australian groceries while I'm at it.

Man, as much as I hate the state I live in, I couldn't imagine living somewhere that didn't have canned boiled peanuts readily available.

S.F. buys it all before you can.

THOSE TRENDY VEGAN SHITHEADS, I'LL KILL THEM

We had a (recently retired) salesman who was originally from the deep south - he loved those slimy looking turdlets, but what really hit me was when he said "Are yew shore yew don' wan' sum BALD PENIS?"

I nearly crapped in my pants. :lol

finally remembered the password for my email address and now i can post again

What did I miss besides self congratulatory masturbation and shitty inside jokes?

Sam, don't call Fathom a number two. I'm trying to sleep, dammit. >:

it's been all re-runs, man. you gotta wait for the new season to come out

HE'S A DEUCE.

THE DEUCE IS LOOSE.

Dylan
OOOO BIG MAN
WITH THE CONKER
GO TO SLEEP
YOU'RE OLD

SAM
THE GREAT MIGHTY POO
I AM OLD BITCH
SHOW SOME RESPECT

Dylan
FUCK YOU, OLDIE

SAM
I AM 25 I AM OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR MOTHER

Dylan
Man you are old
Jesus
Go to sleep
you don't want your back to give out

SAM
HAVE SOME MORE CAVIAR

Dylan
working the pussy 12 hours

SAM
HAVE SOME MORE CAVIAR
OH PLEASE
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW LITTLE DYLAN

Dylan
What do you do?
Lick stamps?

SAM
MY JOB CRUSHES LITTLE LADY BOYS LIKE YOU
DAILY

Dylan
With your big retarded tongue?

SAM
LITTLE LADY BOYS
NAMED DYLAN
REDUCED TO TEARS
WITH SKINT KNEES

SUCK IT

MAKE IT HAPP'N, CAP'N

Guys, I'm 50 fucking years old & I don't need this shit. >:

It's like fifteen o' clock wherever you're at, you don't need sleep

19 o'clock. >:

That shit is late at my age. :(

I was going to go to Japan late this year with a friend for a holiday, but I have changed my mind and now want to go to North Korea.

Now I have to trick my friend into thinking it is better somehow.

Of course it is. Have fun with that.

I woke up wanting guacamole and I'm not quite sure why :/

As long as you eat it with blue-corn tortilla chips, you're good.