well thats a given part of any vacation day ;/

I liked the zoo, probably gonna be cold though. Same with the warf and chinatown.

yea we were thinking about going to that stupid wharf :(

Some good Chinese food there.

i do love chinese :(

and ass sex

i can always tell when its going to be good

its the smell

it always gives it away

i don't know which you're talking about, the chinese or the ass sex. But I like to think it's both.

yea i had some earlier it was good
express

EXPRESS ASS SEX

LOL

IT WAS REALLY FAST

SO FAST THE CHINESE FOOD WAS WAITING FOR YOU

chinese food is good its got ching chons in it

These are cool game monster meat guides.

Meat you can beat o.o

White blood cells fight infections, brain cells fight feelings.

The difference is that I don't hear white blood cells in my head constantly.

tl;dr i hear voices

Pub Lover that is awesome. Like... way awesome.

Also Chojin this is why you shouldn't take hallucinogens. Unless you are serious in which case not good.

drink scope

Directly un-follow this advice at all opportunities

Unless it's datura or DPH, but those are technically hallucinogens in the same way sucking a dick technically constitutes protein intake

I saw this guy the other day with a tapout shirt who looked like he was full of protein.

I've never really figured out what that tapout shit is all about.

Due to thread trolling and some asinine PMs, I'm sorry to inform you all that Microshock will not only not be participating in the Secret Santa event, but he won't be participating in anything on the I-Mockery forums anymore. Farewell, chump.

:aok

Aw, shucks! I bet he was so close to turning it all around and suddenly maturing, too.

Bad times

:pagebrak

I know. It was really hard to ban him after his recent comments, but with great power, comes great responsibility. :tear

A TRUE LEGEND HAS NOW FOREVER VANISHED FROM THE I-MOCKERY LANDSCAPE. :tear

Its about tapping out. Folks call it MMA now. I still prefer cagefighting.

I came up with this pun and wrote it on my notebook. Then I almost called a customer it.

Agatha Crispy.

I was all primed to comment that this news was a micro-shock, but I remembered that I'm not on a pregnant mom forum where people post lol emoticons at terrible jokes to be nice

I have 15,000 posts on that forum too :picklehat

I just realized that when I'm talking to someone and they start a lot of sentences with "Actually...", I do like the Willie-spambot-edit thing in my head and all I hear after that is "I AM AN ASS I AM AN ASS I AM AN ASS".

:/

A three-hour nap and a nightmare changed my entire day.

Aw Rog, I didn't know you got my name. That was exactly what I wanted for Christmas. How did you know?

I THOUGHT NOOB WAS BACK BUT IT WAS JUST A SPAMMER BUMPING AN OLD THREAD. :tear

Running this site gives me great powers during Secret Santa events.

p.s. Even though you just received your gift early from me, you still have to buy somebody a Secret Santa gift.

Isn't tapping out what you do when you are losing a fight?

I thought tapout was a brand name associated with the fighting. All the lumpen-scum that live here all started wearing this tapout crap just out of nowhere. One day it was G-Unit and then suddenly it's Tapout.

eww

DON'T WORRY THEY'LL GO BACK TO KOALA BEARS OR KANGAROOS OR UNICORNS OR WHATEVER INHABIT THE MAGICAL FANTASY LAND YOU LIVE IN.

unicocks

YOU GOT COCKS AND ASS SEX ON THE BRAIN SON

THATS BAD YOU CAN GET BRAIN DISEASE


ROGER HAD A SIT DOWN WItH MICROSHOCKS MOM BEfORE HE BANNED HIM. HIS MOM WAS ALL, "I THINK THAT IF YOU CAN"T FOLLOW THE RULES OF THE GAME THEN MAYBE YOU DON"T DESERVE TO PLAY. I'VE LOOKED AT THE WAY YOUVE BEEN ACTING AND IM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU. I THINK THIS IS BEST FOR EVERYONE"

http://www.maglite.com/product.asp?psc=6DCELL

Can this honestly be used for anything besides bludgeoning people?

It's also a torch. I used to have one similar to that when I was a security guard, I held it back to front like Mulder does.

it doesn't look flammable.

"A torch which uses fire as its light-source is often called a "burning torch", to distinguish from the modern use of the word "torch" to mean "flashlight" in all English speaking countries outside North America."

oh, British Commonwealth, when will you ever learn.

The wikipedia page reads to me like it is rolling its eyes. :eek

My spellchecker flags flashlight as incorrect. :eek

Also spellchecker, so yeah. Not the most useful feature. :eek

:pagebrak

Hahahahaha. That's awful. Also, that is what they do when they're losing the fight. I feel like people wearing TAPOUT are tapping out to the fashion industry.

I'd like to see an old codger that lives in a hill confront someone wearing a tapout shift and regail him the deplorable time the well tapped out. No one had water for weeks. Myrtie died from the dehydration. Cousin Skeeter fell asleep in the well basin waiting for the water to tap back on. Cousin skeeter died of a water overdose in her sleep.

we all got syphillus that year

Flashlight term is confusing. It could be confused for a camera flash. Which flashes and is a light.
Torch would be confused for some flaming stick that you see on dungeon walls.

It should be called Battery-powered-portable-Handheld-illumination-device. ^_^

MMA and Tapout and UFC and all that shit is crap.

All it means is that the people that glare at me on my way to and from work everyday, and who are most likely conspiring to steal my wallet/life, are more likely to have huge muscles thanks to protein shakes and whey.

I'll have to start carrying a torch for defense.

Syphillids on it. What's that you say?
Syphillids on it. Oh man no way!
Syphillids on it or else your gonna blow your top.

and a pitchfork.

Is the urban jungle of Tasmania really that dangerous? From what you describe it, it sounds like skid row o.o

WHAT DO YOU CALL THE FLESHLIGHT OVER THERE THEN?

THE PUN IS LOST

Torchvag

BE A DEBASERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

A FLESHTORCH

We call them Cartwrights after old Admiral Cartwright's revenge. :orgasm :cartwrighthandshake

OMG HOLIDAY EMOTICONS!

:xmas3:xmas2 :xmas1

Holy fuck.

fuck, that's catchy

@publover69

http://gizmodo.com/5685475/the-power...s-to-spaghetti

:eek

Why is thinkgeek selling 28 products relating to bacon? Bacon-obsession is a nerd stereotype now? So much so that people are willing to buy bacon soap?

It's like they're encouraging these people to finally take showers and they'll still smell gross anyway

BACOOONN!!! LOOL

BACON FAD NOT OVER

PIEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!!!! CHEESE+PIES= EIPIC WIN!!!LOL!

Today's Birthdays MLE (27),

Cheese Pies are yummy though. :eek

Guys, that is a bacon and cheese pie. I have some in my fridge. :eek

I do not eat bacon or cheese though because I suck eggs. :eek

That is to say I am Vegan. :eek

:pagebrak

Do vegans suck eggs? :confused

Only if they're ovo-lacto

A sick person coughed full in my face, so I guess I'll find out what they had in a week or so :(

In unrelated news, I have a sore throat and am killing it with firewater. Specifically wild turkey.

I just realized that due to my obtaining of a blue collar production job, I now have full rights of calling people liberal pinko commie fascists.

THOSE FUCKING COMMIE FASCISTS >:

THOSE FUCKING STRAIGHT-TICKET REPUBLICAN DEMOCRATS >:

THOSE FUCKING RIGHT-HANDED LEFTIES >:

Those fucking poofters.

I'll never get tired of saying poofter. :(

NOW I WISH I HAD A JOB SO THAT I COULD UNDERSTAND

I thought this guys name was Druid Fluid but it wasn't. It might have been Drew Blood.

Druid Fluid. :lol

:lol

In other news, I brought my girlfriend to my mum's house to introduce her, and we stayed the night. While we were brushing our teeth getting ready for bed (at about 1:30am) I heard my little brother getting fucked up the arse by his best friend Lachlan who lives two blocks down.

I had no idea he was gay.

WHY DON"T YOU GET ONE!

Druid Fluid. Tee hee.

I bet that was an interesting conversation. I had a friend who walked in on his sister orally servicing a guy once. Awkward :(

Is his friend an immigrant? Foreigners do that you know. They throw out their weird, creepy vibes and seduce ya' to do horrible, unthought of things.

http://iwdrm.tumblr.com/ Animated gifs. Like a lot of what I see on Tumblr I want to fill this thread with them.

I skidded off a gravel road going down a steep hill and went through a wire fence today. It is the first time I have crashed my car. The line between everything being ok and laying in a field shaking is a lot thinner than I thought. I am telling you about my day, Internet.

Did you bleed?

Wow, you ok? Did it flip or just skid?

If it just skidded, I'll be relieved, but you will be vulnerable on being called a puss by serious car drivers.

DEAR ZHUKOV,

I'M SORRY YOUR BROTHER IS A POOFTER AND YOU HAVE TO HEAR HIS DECADENT ASS SEX.

Boyracer!

Sam,

Thank you for your kind words.

Zhukov, I hope the the toothpaste did not foam in your and your girlfriends mouths while that was going on.

Was there blood?

Could it be a misunderstanding? Maybe they were only hanging curtains.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK.