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-   -   The Definition of a Real Man (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=607)

Uncle Otto Feb 14th, 2003 03:41 PM

The Definition of a Real Man
 
Real men
1. listen to Motorhead
2. grow beards
3. Don't brag about eating meat (but can, in fact, eat lots of it)
4. don't weigh 93 lbs. soaking wet
5. Have ample amounts of testosterone coursing through their blood-tributaries
6. Get tattooed (but NOT because it's trendy- all real men have tattoos from the elbow to the wrist, not tucked away in some obscure nook of the body where they're not visible)
7. don't take shit from women
8. listen to Orange Goblin
9. aren't really into cleaning up their houses
10. Aren't hygiene-conscious to the point of being mistaken for a member of the S-Club 7.
11. think jokes made at other people's expense are the only sort worth laughing at
12. Are not afraid of physical confrontation (attention: feebly spindly indie brats!)
13. Like sharks more than koalas and other "cute" animals
14. Listen to Black Sabbath
15. Drink booze straight from the bottle, not diluted with fruit juice or soda
16. Laugh at pain, and indeed maintain that "pain is just another feeling-- it doesn't have to be a bad one."
17. Don't wear these damned baggy jeans that so many brats are in favor of these days
18. Use the same plate for more than one meal
19. Use newspaper or clothes due for Goodwill to wipe their arses when the toilet-paper's run out
20. MOST IMPORTANTLY-- don't talk very much, and get fucking angered when women go on and on about... nothing at all.

CaptainBubba Feb 14th, 2003 03:43 PM

1.has a penis and testicles

slavemason Feb 14th, 2003 03:47 PM

Rule 20 makes me think that Otto is in fact an Aunt.

whoreable Feb 14th, 2003 03:48 PM

Gee its gotta suck to know that a guy named MammothClitoris is actaully more intellegent than you otto.
________
Bubbler pipes

CaptainBubba Feb 14th, 2003 03:49 PM

I'm right?

Malevolent Feb 14th, 2003 03:52 PM

Real men don't need assclowns like yourself telling them how to act.

You can leave now. It's quite clear that your participation in the discussions here won't yield anything worthwhile.

!!!! Feb 14th, 2003 03:53 PM

STEREOTYPES ARE FUN!

Stabby Feb 14th, 2003 04:24 PM

Well Otto, it looks like

sadie Feb 14th, 2003 04:45 PM

:love richard dawson. :love

slavemason Feb 14th, 2003 04:52 PM

Richard gave the sugar to all the ladies. :orgasm

punkgrrrlie10 Feb 14th, 2003 08:32 PM

by those definitions, I think I saw uncleotto on jerry springer

Les Waste Feb 14th, 2003 08:45 PM

Those are just Otto's parameter's for a real man.

Otto is probably 14 years old and ugly :(

george Feb 14th, 2003 08:51 PM

he eats meat and doesnt brag about it :blowme

jin Feb 14th, 2003 08:58 PM

JIN* Does List:

1. Dress well.
2. Drink COKE and APPLE JUICE.
3. Dont know english.
4. Has 2 showers a day and does NOT insist on smelling like a donkeys armpit.
5. DONT listen to "ORANGE JUICE JAM" or whatever the fuck.
6. DONT listen to "Motorman".
7. HATE facial hair (You like to grow pubes on your face! Ew Motherfucker!)

How come your list is different in some respects? MAYBE BECAUSE YOU ARE A JACKASS.

I dont live according to your RULES because basically, they would make me a jackass like you!

It is nice how you stereotype yourself to be a "REAL MAN" - "tatoos... elbow to wrist" - a bit specific, no? Perhaps you have some self-image crisis and need to reassure yourself???

Remind me how many "men" i see walking around with "tatoos... elbow to wrist"? Does that mean all males of this species arent males AT ALL??? Only 1 or 2 dirty filthy ugly perverted punk rock junkies i have seen are REAL MEN because those ******-jockeys are THE ONLY ONES TO CONFORM TO YOUR LIST OF "REAL MAN".

And YES, no one is sure whether i am a guy or girl so I dont care what you say in response and it doesnt really matter either.

PS. "MOST IMPORTANTLY - YOU ARE A FUCKCLOWN."

hahahahAHhahahahAHahHAhahAhahAH

Rongi Feb 14th, 2003 09:02 PM

Rongi's list >:

1. Real men listien to radiohead, ******s >:
2. Real men cry during a sad movie >:
3. Real me-

Wait...thats my "Rongi's sad sad life list" :(

Whoever made this thread should be shot and if they happen to survive they should be shot again.

CaptainBubba Feb 14th, 2003 09:24 PM

I'd still stake my reputation as an idiot that all you need is a penis and testicles. :/

Geggy Feb 14th, 2003 11:05 PM

Al Bundy is more of a man than you are, Otto.

slavemason Feb 15th, 2003 08:15 AM

Real men die alone. :|

Blackjack Feb 15th, 2003 08:29 AM

Real men get thrown out of nightclubs :(

Shut Up Feb 15th, 2003 08:36 AM

20. MOST IMPORTANTLY-- don't talk very much, and get fucking angered when women go on and on about... nothing at all.

Wait, if this is the most important, then why is it number twenty instead of number one? Get a concept of a how a top 20 list works next time you want to post your little stand-up routine, fuckwit!

And that list was an unfunny peice of shit. You suck.


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