i saw a girl i had a crush on kissing my good friend >:

and then i met maria bamford and we had dinner at the syfy restaurant

adn my brain imploded

then i spent most of the next day driving 85 mph on i-5 while tweeting

lol lol lol I've just been googling maria "bradford for the last five minutes, wondering who the hell ou were talking about

what was that dinner like

oh srry what was that dinner like

tell me that really happened and isn't part of a joke from the previous page

<3 maria bamford

i was pretty quiet. also i couldn't afford to pay for my overpriced cheeseburger so my friend had to help me pay for it

then my friend and that girl hugged me after we walked to my car

:(

yeah i had kind fo a weird crush on her afterwards :(

Hey dom;'t sweat it, crushes are overrated. you get out there and finde= new and excitign people

not me

move too slow, see

only ever get to "crush" stage

yeah i should have talked to her more, maybe i coulda got some voice actor pointers :( or some crazy person pointers idk

Don't bother with crushes. ask them out to coffe, it's what I do, nocommittal enough to bail immediately if it turns out you'r rather be shtting out tin toothpicks than talking ot the girl any longer

plus her dad's like a dermatologist maybe she woulda had some skincare advice

i'm not even sure i want a lady in my life anymore

they're probably too much dang work

sup fags

i still think that 'chemical imbalance' mental disorders are bullshit, since every single person ever i've known who has had one is sedentary and lives off of cool ranch doritos

this segues nicely into a discussion of my own mental deterioration. before, i was always depressed and hated myself. after diet and exercise, i now instead hate everyone else and am looking into becoming a sociopath, because that's apparently how everyone else has been doing it all along and i never got the memo.

o shit its dad

turn off the lightrs and pretend to sleep

goodnight, moon

i hate myself AND i hate everyone else

i win the hate contest

so it's not rly a secret that i regularly visit /fit/ on the chons

it's apparently a common problem once you start working out to start judging others, especially women. i'm now acutely aware of how little effort women put into their bodies, and it pisses me off that they still pull tail. some of them actually get exponentially more praise the more cakes they eat!

it starts a slow burn of rage in my soul

yeah so anyway most women aren't attractive to me anymore because i can see they're all flabby in unfeminine ways. i'm only attracted to fit guys in an artistic sense. this narrows down my interests to reasonably fit girls and emo boys, but i'm pretty sure i couldn't love the second group.

Holy shit, I go to bed and come back and here's like 10 pages of diarrhea with chunks of pony and hotdog in it :hypno

every once in a while I could almost follow it.