Moving out, Need help
 

What do i need to live in a world without my mom as i step boldly and naked into the cold, harsh unfeeling world that is rent.

Things I have already

-Roommate (my older brother who i never see, talk to, or know very well, but he needed someone to move in with)
-A Job
-Porn
-TV
-Computer Access (bro has one)
-Videogames (between me and my bro, we own all the important systems except pre nintendo systems such as atari 2600 and Intellivision and the more obscure TG16, NeoGeo and the post genesis sega systems)
-Cable

Things i might need

-a Bed
-Food
-Porn

can any of you world-wisened men beyond your time give me any advice on what i may need to survive in this cruel, cold and slightly overcast world.

I already saw this episode of Mission Hill

Craigslist helped me acquire things such as furniture, kitchen appliances, home decor, etc. The Free section can have good stuff sometimes too

Andy, Stogie's eating the couch!

Bling Blong

I'M THE GRUBBERGIEGER

Buy a can of mace and subtley replace any axe or breath spray your brother has with it.

You'll probably find you need to get a bunch of things you've never really considered before; towels, rugs, kitchen crap, living room furniture etc.

You can pick those up once you've moved in though.

IT SOUNDS LIKE A GORILLA EATING A LOG CABIN

you forgot cash, make sure you have plenty. i know from experience and i fell deep into debt. it was either move back home with momma and dadda or continue to go deeper. the hardcore dude that i am i stayed away from momma and dadda and went even deeper. i'm doing fine now.... really.

Hangers, a hamper, laundry detergent, light bulbs, bed sheets. Not sure how much your brother is willing to share, but those are some of the things I realized I needed once I moved out aeons ago. Check out freecycle.org in addition to CL for free crap.

Don't forget lube to go with your porn. Can't steal any of mom's moisturizer now!

Self-esteem.

Don't forget cutlery and plates...unless you're one of those barbarians who uses paper and plastic. A fridge would probably be nice too.

neon sign advertising something naughty
alphabet fridge magnets...for spelling something naughty!
baywatch poster that you kiss all the time and gross out your housemate when hes trying it on with chicks and he punches your arm and tells you to quit being such an asshole
fake plastic boobies!
empty pizza boxes, these come free with pizzas so idk you figure it out
a fire extinguisher to let off at impromptu times (house parties!)
a big foam hand
a ghetto blaster with beastie boys mixtape welded into it (you wont need anything else where youre going!)
beers, for chugging
i think thats everything!

WE NEED FOOD. STOGIE KEEPS EATING THE COUCH.

beer. dont forget beer....

IT TAKES ALL KINDS OF FRUIT TO MAKE FRUIT CUP

make sure to play that one billy joel song about movin' out when you leave

History is full of great homos. Oscar Wilde was a homo. Alexander the Great was a homo. You know who else is a great homo? You are, you big homo!

Investing in some toilet paper may be a good idea, unless if you're moving to a cabin and can get away with using leaves and pine cones.

A can opener. I've found that the Swing-a-Way brand is the only one that works well consistently...and no, they're not paying me to say that, I've just gone through a ton of shitty can openers before wising up.

WE COULD BALANCE THE CHECKBOOK TOGETHER, THAT'S ALWAYS A FUNK-BUSTER FOR ME!

well, you're going to screw up a lot and waste a lot of money, but that's part of the LEARNING PROCESS.

However, I would recommend that you put aside some money every month into a mutual fund or bond fund or something. I was making a lot of money when I was living away from home, but I'd only set aside rent and utilities and with the remainder I'd buy myself awesome things that I still enjoy to this day instead.

DON'T BE ME. DON'T GET GREAT STUFF.

Chojin, your powers of persuasion are truly magnificent.

Novelty singing fish, or other animal. Preferably something you can hang on the wall.